Xi Xi continued, “I couldn’t exactly die over those few years, right? People these days love slapping high moral labels on everyone. No love? There’s always a career. Plenty of ways to kill time. Don’t be so down about it.”
Xi Xi added, “My first love’s kid is about Liu Song’s age now, and they’re doing just fine.”
She smiled. “They’re all just passing through.”
Yan Muyu quipped, “So your first love was some old guy.”
She looked thoughtful for a moment, only for Xi Xi to smack her hard on the back, nearly making her hurl.
Yan Muyu yelped, “Why’d you hit me? It wasn’t me who asked about your first love!”
Xi Xi just huffed.
The topic had gone around the group several times. Li Xi’s first love was no secret—everyone knew she’d even written a song for him.
They were still friends now, though he was steady with his current girlfriend.
The perfect example of a romance turning into friendship.
Pei Wan exposed Ding Yingxue’s first love, leaving nothing much to say. It was just a young girl crushing on a handsome guy.
Pei Wan was a total sapiosexual through and through.
Ding Yingxue hadn’t realized until now that you’d need credentials to even court Pei Wan.
She wasn’t sure if she felt dejected or relieved—high standards were great, but there were plenty of high-educated jerks out there too.
When it got to Liu Song, she hemmed and hawed a bit.
Yan Muyu had somehow scored some melon seeds by then and coaxed the younger girl. “You don’t have to say if you don’t want to. I never had a first love myself.”
The mood grew a touch heavy—maybe from Xi Xi’s stare, or Li Xi’s soft chuckle.
Qiu Chao had listened to everyone’s first-love stories without eating much; it was Yan Muyu who finally urged her to dig in.
Feeling bored, Qiu Chao slipped a hand under the table to stroke Yan Muyu’s thigh.
She idly traced words on it, stroke by stroke.
The sensation nearly drove Yan Muyu to jump out of her seat right there.
Yan Muyu grabbed Qiu Chao’s hand, shot her a glare after speaking, and hissed under her breath, “Are you nuts?”
Just then, the only sound was the crackle of the bonfire.
The meat was done roasting, filling the air with an enticing aroma. Li Xi said, “Then let’s skip it.”
Her favoritism was blatant. Ding Yingxue looked a little let down. “I was kinda curious, though.”
【Me too!】
【Picked up some sweet crumbs from back in the Yang Liu days with Li Xi. She still dotes on her so much… sob.】
【This love triangle tension is so thrilling!! I’m deciding to go for a postdoc just to chase Pei Wan.】
【Only lesbians are degree-chasers, right?】
【Ding Yingxue shocked me.】
【Who isn’t curious about Liu Song’s first love?? But it feels kinda morally off—I sense she was underage.】
Seizing the moment, Yan Muyu pressed her advantage. While clamping down hard on Qiu Chao’s hand under the table, she said, “Why can she skip it? You’re playing favorites!”
Li Xi admitted it without hesitation. “Yeah.”
【So bold about it.】
【LMAO.】
Yan Muyu insisted, “I don’t care, everyone else shared. Liu Song, if you didn’t have one, make one up.”
Liu Song glanced cautiously at Xi Xi, unsure if she could tell the truth.
After all, this was a live variety show, not some private hangout. It could easily turn into headlines.
Xi Xi caught Liu Song’s look.
She smiled. “Go ahead. I’ll handle any fallout.”
In that instant, she wasn’t the eye-rolling drunk from earlier. Her top-tier manager aura was in full force, instantly putting the artist at ease.
Qiu Chao’s hand was pinned by Yan Muyu’s grip, leaving her no choice but to lean in close. “Look at her, then look at you.”
Yan Muyu shot back, “Then swap me out.”
Qiu Chao scooted even closer, her voice a whisper meant only for Yan Muyu’s ears.
Qiu Chao murmured, “Swap you for hubby?”
Chicken skin erupted all over Yan Muyu’s body, like she’d been struck by lightning wrapped in the downpour outside—crisped on the outside, tender within.
Yan Muyu whispered, “Will you quit it? Feeling better yet?”
Everyone else was watching Liu Song, but these two were huddled together, whispering like they were sharing secrets. It looked suspicious no matter how you sliced it.
【What are Yan Muyu and Qiu Chao up to?】
【What’s that we can’t hear?】
【How does this variety show nail live shots so gorgeously? The atmosphere is perfect—I wanna try a fireside chat like this.】
【Am I seeing things, or are Yan Muyu and Qiu Chao holding hands under the table?】
【My eyes don’t know where to look—too much to take in.】
【What a rollercoaster of a live variety show—budget must be insane.】
Qiu Chao whined, “I’m bored. What’s wrong with a little fun?”
Her voice still carried a hint of weakness, and Yan Muyu didn’t push it.
But Qiu Chao loved saying things that sparked imaginations. “Little Yan, you’re hurting me.”
Yan Muyu let go, finally at her limit, and shifted her seat a bit. Xi Xi noticed immediately. “What’re you scooting over here for?”
Over there, Liu Song was still agonizing over how to phrase it.
Her first love was sitting right beside her.
But who would dare admit on camera that they liked women?
With Xi Xi speaking up, everyone looked over.
Yan Muyu bristled. “Who said I’m scooting to you? I’m just adjusting my chair.”
Qiu Chao let out an “ow,” clutching her head. “I’m a bit dizzy. Bumped into Little Yan by accident.”
Xi Xi snapped, “What’s wrong with you two? If you’re gonna get cozy, take it upstairs.”
Yan Muyu: …
【Rip into each other louder!】
【If this were the rival show’s format, they’d clip iconic moments, but live, it just seems like they’re all close.】
Qiu Chao said, “Not good?”
She had the nerve to ask Yan Muyu that.
Yan Muyu retorted, “I think your illness is worse than you let on.”
【Stop bickering and take it to bed.】
【Qiu Chao’s so clingy.】
【You two aren’t dating? Seriously?】
Liu Song was still hesitating when Li Xi asked gently, “Is it something you can’t say?”
Liu Song replied, “I don’t know how to put it.”
Li Xi’s tone softened even more when talking to Liu Song—her double standards were crystal clear.
It took viewers back to that music competition survival show, when Li Xi had been just as gentle.
Time had flown, but the two seemed unchanged, stirring a faint hope that they might rekindle things.
Some chances, once missed, were gone for good.
Liu Song continued, “She’s a really nice person, just like how great Sister Li Xi is to me, but…”
The Ziwei Star rookie, skyrocketing in the industry, fumbled her words awkwardly. But her pure looks made it hard to judge her harshly.
Liu Song went on, “We just weren’t fated.”
Her voice grew softer. “She had a girlfriend back then, so I couldn’t.”
“Now, I have someone I like too.”
Liu Song’s voice was lovely, often leaving even Ding Yingxue spacing out mid-conversation.
【Why do I feel like she’s talking about…】
【No way, no way!!!】
【Ding Yingxue, why’re you staring at Li Xi!!】
【Suddenly feels so heartbreaking.】
Li Xi asked, “Is the person you like now good to you?”
She didn’t seem surprised at all, still speaking in that soft, cradling tone, like she was holding Liu Song precious.
Liu Song didn’t dare look at Xi Xi. She mumbled an affirmative.
Then Qiu Chao suddenly asked, “If she had a girlfriend back then, why couldn’t you go for it?”
It was like a bomb dropping. Even Yan Muyu went numb.
Live variety shows had too many uncontrollable factors—like an artist’s mouth, which you couldn’t just cover.
Qiu Chao didn’t care about her image at all. Yan Muyu figured she’d be better off demoting herself to assistant.
Liu Song let out an “uh,” staring at Qiu Chao in shock.
The senior had a weary look, her lipstick smudged a bit from tea, but her lips still gleamed temptingly.
Her words, though, were tough to answer.
Ding Yingxue piped up, “Wouldn’t that be stealing someone else’s girl?”
She added an “oh,” mock-scandalized. “That’s not right!”
Xi Xi turned to Qiu Chao. “Have you tried it?”
Qiu Chao replied, “Nah, am I that kind of person?”
She blinked, looking somewhat innocent.
The woman with her coldly glamorous features tapped a finger on the table, her voice stretching out long and distant. “It’s just… I kind of regret it. My first love already had a girlfriend back then, and I…”
She propped her chin in her hand, and anyone could see how happy Qiu Chao was just talking about that first love.
It was a rare spark of excitement, one that was hard to connect with the Qiu Chao they saw on screen.
It didn’t quite fit her age somehow, pulling the viewers right back into those bygone days.
Qiu Chao: “Back then, I thought I wasn’t good enough for her, so I ran away.”
Xi Xi: “You had a time like that?”
Liu Song’s little first-love story had been smoothly hijacked by Qiu Chao—a roundabout way of rescuing her.
Qiu Chao: “Oh yeah. Back then, besides my looks, I was worthless. I’d never worn an expensive watch, never eaten at a fancy Western restaurant, never even slipped into real leather shoes…”
Her gaze drifted far away, her tone shifting from bubbly excitement to a quiet calm, as if she were sharing some hushed teenage secret.
It was easy to feel for her, to empathize.
Even the most beautiful girl feels small and insecure in front of the one she loves.
She’d mope over a fake purse, feel downcast about dressing too plainly.
Qiu Chao: “She was so radiant, shining so bright that she was all I could see.”
She closed her eyes, her long lashes like crow feathers casting thick shadows—like the dark clouds woven into the fabric of her life, confessions too fragile for the light.
Qiu Chao: “I regret it so much, but there’s no time for regrets.”
She said it with a smile, yet it felt like she was on the verge of tears. “At a certain time, for a certain reason… I have everything now, but I can never go back.”
Like going to school together with Yan Muyu, watching her from just outside the window.
Or leaning against the railing, gazing at Yan Muyu as she strolled across the playground with someone.
Or wearing the same school uniform, threading through the crowd out the school gates, arm in arm, asking her what she wanted to eat next.
Such a shame.
I’d missed out on so much. But had I not tried my hardest?
This was already the best ending I could wring out with everything I had.
【Fuck, I suddenly feel so sad.】
【So who the hell was her first love?】
【Who even deserves her!!】
Yan Muyu: “It can happen.”
The rain was coming down harder now, Yan Muyu’s voice tangled with the downpour, laced with a chill carried on the wind.
Yan Muyu: “If that person likes you enough, cares about you enough… time itself could turn back.”
A flicker of subtle irritation stirred in her chest. Qiu Chao was so incredible—it made that other person seem a little ungrateful, undeserving.
Yan Muyu: “Redoing all those things you missed before? It’s not impossible. Just depends if that person still has the heart for it.”
She shrugged, flashing a carefree smile. “If the feelings are still that strong, if the regret runs that deep… then go chase them down and win them back.”
She meant every word of comfort, and the audience could hear it plain as day.
Qiu Chao burst out laughing. “What would you know about it? You, who’s never even had a first love.”
Yan Muyu let out a protesting “Hey!” but before she could get another word in, Qiu Chao continued—
“I’ve already caught her.”
