Chapter 37

Coming out of the conference room, everyone’s faces grew darker with each passing moment, each one looking more miserable than the last. Lu Yao’s expression was especially grim, almost frightening. After leaving the conference room and returning to her office, she began assigning tasks to Jiang Chen. Meanwhile, the project team members in the outer hall started whispering among themselves again.

“What’s going on here? CEO Lu ripped my proposal to shreds, calling it utterly worthless. Yesterday, she said just a few tweaks would do.”

“I have no idea. My report got bounced back for a complete rewrite too. Is she in a bad mood today or what?”

“Keep it down. Don’t go poking the bear.”

After briefing Jiang Chen on the work, Lu Yao pulled out her phone. She called Shen Zhirou several times, but there was still no answer. Lu Yao checked WeChat and saw only that one message from Shen Zhirou in her friends list.

Lu Yao fired off a string of WeChat messages to Shen Zhirou one after another.

Lu Yao: Have you gone to the company? I’ll pick you up at noon so we can talk things out properly.

Lu Yao: We’re all adults here. Let’s just clear the air. No need to run away from home, right?

Lu Yao: I’ve been swamped these past few days. Can you please not distract me? I really don’t have the bandwidth to go searching for you in the middle of the night every day.

After sending them, Lu Yao kept her eyes glued to her phone, waiting for Shen Zhirou to reply. But no response came.

For some reason, Lu Yao felt a twinge of unease stirring in her chest. In the past, she would have dismissed waiting for someone’s WeChat reply as a complete waste of time. Now, though, she couldn’t settle down to work. She refreshed the WeChat screen over and over, watching for Shen Zhirou’s message.

Half an hour passed with no reply. Lu Yao pinched the bridge of her nose, snatched up her car keys and bag, and strode out of the office.

~~~

Shen Zhirou hadn’t been slacking off that morning in the office. She’d gotten in touch with a real estate agent to help hunt for apartments, picking out a few single-unit ones close to the company that she planned to check out over the next couple of days.

She spent the rest of the time buried in her other tasks, determined not to let her mind wander idle.

A little after eleven, the phone on Lu Yao’s desk rang. Someone downstairs was asking for her.

Shen Zhirou let out a sigh. Better to get things out in the open with Lu Yao once and for all. She set aside her work, grabbed her phone, and headed for the elevator.

By the time she reached the company lobby on the first floor, she spotted her department head, Wang Qi, chatting with Lu Yao. When Wang Qi saw Shen Zhirou approaching, she called out, “Zhirou, when did you two get together? You kept it under wraps pretty tight—even I had no clue. Go on and chat. Any work stuff can wait till the afternoon.”

With that to Shen Zhirou, Wang Qi flashed Lu Yao a smile. “CEO Lu, I’ll head back upstairs then.”

“Go right ahead.” Lu Yao nodded back with a smile of her own.

Shen Zhirou’s gaze shifted to Lu Yao. She was still wearing yesterday’s suit jacket and hip-hugging skirt. Pursing her lips, Shen Zhirou said, “Something you need?”

“Yeah, and it’s nearly noon anyway. Let’s grab a spot to sit down and talk this through properly.” Lu Yao tamped down her rising frustration. She didn’t want to air their dirty laundry in the lobby.

“Last night pretty much covered it all. There’s a restaurant right across from the company—let’s talk there.” Shen Zhirou sighed softly.

Shen Zhirou and Lu Yao walked side by side toward the restaurant across the street, but a full arm’s length separated them—far more distant than they’d been at their first meeting.

Once inside the restaurant, Shen Zhirou ordered a few things at random and turned to Lu Yao. “Whatever it is, we can hash it out today. No need for us to see each other again after this.”

“I’m sorry—what I said later last night was just anger talking. I didn’t really mean for you to leave. I dozed off propped against the bed and never heard you go out; otherwise, I never would’ve let you head out alone that late. I’ve been searching for you ever since I woke up, too frantic to even change clothes. Jie Jie, can’t we drop this? Come back home.” Lu Yao gently pinched the bridge of her nose, exhaustion plain in her eyes.

Shen Zhirou’s face drained of color, and she managed a bitter smile. “You still don’t get why I want to break up with you. Even now, you think I’m just making a scene?”

“Then what is this? What do you want, exactly?” Lu Yao frowned at Shen Zhirou, confusion swirling in her eyes. Things had been going so smoothly between them. Once her schedule eased up, they could start planning the wedding. Why fixate on this one little issue? What was the point?

Shen Zhirou fixed her gaze steadily on Lu Yao, her voice hoarse as she spoke: “I want our relationship to at least be equal and mutually respectful. I want you to stop being hot and cold with me, only staring into my eyes and calling me ‘Jie Jie’ when we’re in bed. I want you to stop treating me like Wen Jin—I’m Shen Zhirou. And as for your parents making me write that IOU, for your sake, I can accept all of it. But I can’t stand their arrogant attitude, as if I’m coveting something from you. I’ve done nothing and wanted nothing, yet in the end, it’s all pinned as my fault alone. From beginning to end, the only thing I’ve ever wanted is you.”

Shen Zhirou’s nose tingled with emotion. She didn’t want to appear so disheveled in front of Lu Yao, but she couldn’t hold back any longer. Tears still slid uncontrollably down her cheeks. She grabbed a tissue from the table and wiped them messily, her voice laced with restraint, though the sob beneath it was unmistakable: “I know you don’t like me that much. You usually don’t like me meddling in your affairs either. But I always thought that if we spent enough time together, there would at least be a little place for me in your heart, right? Actually, every time I send you a WeChat message or call you, it takes me a long time to muster up the courage, because I’m afraid I still won’t get a reply from you. It’s just like our relationship—I’m always the only one taking the initiative.”

Lu Yao’s eyes reddened at Shen Zhirou’s words. She couldn’t think of how to respond to any of it, because everything Shen Zhirou said was true. Because of Wen Jin’s unilateral breakup, she didn’t want to invest too much emotion in anyone else, fearing she’d get hurt again. That was why she’d sought out a marriage partner who wouldn’t require any real emotional commitment.

But she didn’t want to part with Shen Zhirou either—letting her go and starting over with someone else would just be a waste of time. So Lu Yao sidestepped the heavier issues and asked, “What IOU? I really had no idea about that.”

Seeing that Lu Yao was only bringing up the IOU, Shen Zhirou shook her head in disappointment. She felt like she’d been a moth to a flame these past few days. Even so, she still couldn’t bring herself to say anything harsh to Lu Yao: “It’s not important anymore. I can’t walk down the road ahead with you any longer. Whether it’s Wen Jin or someone else, I hope you find happiness from now on. Let’s not see each other again.”

Shen Zhirou stood up to leave, but Lu Yao panicked for a moment, her heart inexplicably pierced with pain. Instinctively, she grabbed Shen Zhirou’s wrist, her gaze flustered as she looked at her. “Jie Jie, don’t go. I never wanted anyone else to walk that road with me.”

Shen Zhirou reached out and removed Lu Yao’s hand from her wrist. She gave Lu Yao one last look: “When we were together—or rather, when we were living together, to use your words—we were at least somewhat dignified about it. We never really counted as being together. I hope we can part with that same dignity. Don’t come to my company looking for me anymore.”

With that, Shen Zhirou picked up her phone and left without looking back, leaving Lu Yao alone at the restaurant table. It took her a long time to recover her senses.

The server seemed to sense the unhappy end to their encounter and cautiously approached Lu Yao. “Miss, all your ordered dishes are on the table now.”

“Okay.” Lu Yao replied, her voice faintly trembling. She stared at the dishes on the table, her thoughts drifting. She and Shen Zhirou had been together for some time now, but when she thought about it, she didn’t even know what foods Shen Zhirou liked, let alone her other preferences.

Now that she sat down and really reflected on it, her knowledge of Shen Zhirou was pathetically shallow. She didn’t know what Shen Zhirou enjoyed doing, what her favorite color was, which brands of clothes or bags she liked, who her friends were, or what her family situation was like. They had already shared the most intimate moments in bed, yet she knew next to nothing about her.

Lu Yao looked at the simple dishes on the table but couldn’t bring herself to take a single bite. She’d been up tormenting herself since the middle of the night, yet she still wasn’t hungry at all.

Uncharacteristically, she pulled out her phone and gave her secretary, Chen Qingqing, some instructions about company matters. Then she drove back to the home she shared with Shen Zhirou. In her current state, she had zero interest in work, but she also didn’t know what she wanted to do—she just figured she’d go home first.

Lu Yao took a quick shower and, feeling utterly listless, buried herself in the covers of the master bedroom. The bedding still carried the faint fragrance of Shen Zhirou’s scent. Suddenly, Lu Yao felt a pang in her heart. She clutched the covers tightly with both hands and buried herself completely in them, as if she had fallen not into a soft mattress, but into the warmth of Shen Zhirou’s embrace.

Lu Yao’s head throbbed with dull waves of pain. She figured Shen Zhirou was just upset these past few days, and once her anger cooled off in a couple more days, Lu Yao could go pick her up. Shen Zhirou would surely come home with her—after all, she couldn’t impose on her friends forever. This thought eased Lu Yao’s mind a little.

She had gone out searching at dawn and spent the whole morning running around. She had no idea when exhaustion finally claimed her, and she fell asleep.

Shen Zhirou found a restroom in the mall to wash her face, then stood outside breathing fresh air for a good while. It wasn’t until two in the afternoon that she made her way back to the office.

Zhao Tongtong stared at her best friend’s puffy eyes for a long moment. Once she saw that Shen Zhirou seemed her usual self, she let out a relieved breath and leaned in to whisper, “How’d it go? She didn’t give you a hard time, did she?”

“It’s fine. I cleared things up with her. No more contact from now on.” Shen Zhirou tried to force a smile to ease Tongtong’s worry, but her face just wouldn’t cooperate.

“That’s a relief. Don’t give her another thought. Let’s figure out dinner instead—I’ll tell Wei Xuan to pick up ingredients after work and cook for us.” Zhao Tongtong smiled, hoping to lighten the mood and help Zhirou unwind.

“No need. I’ll handle the shopping. I can’t just crash at your place and do nothing. I’ve already got a realtor lined up for a viewing this Saturday. Worst case, I move out by Sunday.” Shen Zhirou hated imposing on anyone, especially since Tongtong had a boyfriend at home. It just wasn’t right.

“No rush—let him get it. You’re not cooking on my watch.” Zhao Tongtong grinned as she pulled out her phone and fired off a WeChat message to Wei Xuan.