A few days earlier, A Sang had sent a letter to the palace. Following Shen Yuezhuang’s advice, she had asked Pei Shangyu whether her plan to repay a debt of life by offering her own life in service, to help find a powerful patron, would work.
Pei Shangyu’s reply was first sent to the Huo Mansion, then forwarded to Precious Flower Temple along with Shen Yuezhuang’s luggage.
The letter said that if A Sang wanted to repay a life debt with her own life, she should seek out either the Emperor or the Empress Dowager. No one else in the realm could help her, and no one else would need her to offer her life in return.
After that, when the Empress Dowager told her to find an excuse to decline Shen Yuezhuang’s invitation to the Ten Thousand Flowers Pavilion on the fifteenth, she obeyed without any objection.
When the Empress Dowager told her not to let Shen Yuezhuang climb walls and trees so often, she obediently did it all by herself.
When the Empress Dowager told her to keep an eye on Shen Yuezhuang and not let her run out of the mansion, she went along without complaint.
Her connection with Shen Yuezhuang was hardly more than a chance encounter. Later, during their days at the temple, Shen Yuezhuang was always glued to the Empress Dowager’s side. From start to finish, A Sang’s understanding of Shen Yuezhuang was simply that she was a friend of her mistress.
But after spending these few days together at the mansion, she gradually discovered that Shen Yuezhuang had no airs about her. She was good-natured and knew how to have fun. Most importantly, their temperaments matched!
She wasn’t two-faced. She wasn’t duplicitous, saying one thing and meaning another.
When Shen Yuezhuang was happy, she was happy. When she wasn’t, she wasn’t. A Sang didn’t need to speculate or guess, and she certainly didn’t have to worry about accidentally offending her.
Gradually, A Sang began to feel guilty when Shen Yuezhuang couldn’t go out to play.
She worried about the rift between Shen Yuezhuang and the Empress Dowager.
And she felt a complicated mix of emotions when Shen Yuezhuang went to such trouble, rushing back and forth just to hang a prayer plaque for the Empress Dowager.
She prayed for her mistress; Shen Yuezhuang prayed for the Empress Dowager. Logically, her concern for her mistress should be the same as Shen Yuezhuang’s concern for the Empress Dowager. A Sang felt she should be able to understand that!
But this person in front of her, when talking about the Empress Dowager, had an attitude that A Sang simply couldn’t comprehend.
On one side was a friend; on the other was her mistress’s future. A Sang was torn. Seeing that Shen Yuezhuang’s expression when she said she was “angry” didn’t seem fake, her anxiety grew.
If her friend and her immediate superior were at odds, should she find a way to pledge her loyalty to the Emperor?
But forget the Emperor! Just meeting the Empress Dowager was a stroke of luck, a chance encounter! Where was she supposed to find the Emperor?
A Sang had been sleepless for half the night, finally coming up with a solution that morning. If the friend and the superior weren’t getting along, then she would just help them make up!
This was the best plan A Sang could think of, and one she could actually implement!
A Sang’s ears caught the sounds of the bustling city growing distant as the carriage turned into an alley, heading silently towards the Grand Preceptor’s Mansion.
Shen Yuezhuang was holding a half-eaten lotus pastry in her hand, with crispy crumbs still clinging to the corner of her mouth.
“Just thinking about it makes me furious!”
Shen Yuezhuang slid down on the bench and nudged A Sang with her elbow. “Let me ask you something. If someone, for no reason at all, stabbed you in the back when there was a perfectly good road ahead, would you be angry?”
A Sang’s blood instantly boiled. Without a moment’s hesitation, she slammed the table and declared fiercely, “If that were the case, I’d run them through with my spear!”
“Exactly!” Shen Yuezhuang grabbed A Sang’s shoulder and patted it firmly, looking as if she had finally found someone who understood. She pounded the small table in frustration. “Now, what if this person stabbed your best friend instead? Would you be angry then?”
Bang!
A Sang’s palm came down, and the small table flipped over.
The midday sun, bright and glaring, flickered in and out of the carriage as the curtain flapped in the wind. The shifting light and shadow made A Sang’s face look even sharper. She was filled with a righteous fury, her voice cold and solemn.
“If anyone hurts my mistress, A Sang will pursue them to the ends of the earth. It will be a fight to the death!”
As she finished, she seemed to remember that Shen Yuezhuang was still there. A flicker of embarrassment crossed her face as she tried to backtrack. But Shen Yuezhuang stopped her with an understanding hand.
“That’s right! So, if you consider her a friend, and someone stabs her—no matter who that ‘someone’ is—shouldn’t you be angry? Even if that ‘someone’ is herself?”
“Of course!” A Sang swallowed hard, forcing her gaze away from the lotus pastry in Shen Yuezhuang’s hand. She gulped, watching Shen Yuezhuang push the food box aside, and suddenly realization dawned. “What do you mean?”
What did she mean by ‘even if that someone is herself’?
“Did the Empress Dowager stab herself?”
“Don’t look so shocked!” Shen Yuezhuang patted A Sang’s shoulder affectionately, secretly wiping her greasy fingers clean. “It’s not about all those power struggles you hear in the rumors. The palace isn’t a good place. Why would I bother fighting for anything there? It was her…”
Shen Yuezhuang paused. “Anyway, she had her reasons for entering the palace. But I didn’t want her to go. I think the palace is a terrible place. I also believe she could have achieved her goal without entering the palace.”
Entering the palace, in essence, meant seizing power. Liu Yun wanted power. She wanted to overturn the unjust verdict against her father. She wanted the person who framed him thrown into prison!
This world offered so few paths for women. Her choices were to either marry a man of high status who could help her achieve her goal, or to enter the palace herself…
But choosing a husband would still require the Emperor’s approval. So why not just enter the palace directly?
~~~
These were the arguments the Huo and Shen families had used to persuade her, trying to make Shen Yuezhuang believe that Liu Yun’s choice was her own active decision, the best she could make in her current situation.
But she could have just waited for Li Jianyun to ascend the throne!
Besides, and this might be treasonous to say, when the Late Emperor ascended the throne, who could have predicted he would die after only five years? And he was sickly. Liu Yun had no children. If Empress Xiao hadn’t passed away, if Liu Yun hadn’t become Empress…
Liu Yun wasn’t prepared to suffer for just five years. She was clearly prepared to sacrifice her entire life in the deep palace!
How could Shen Yuezhuang not be furious? How could she not hate it?
She just didn’t understand. Why couldn’t she wait?
Wasn’t it because Liu Yun didn’t believe the Late Emperor would ever move against the deeply entrenched Governor Yang?
So, supporting Li Jianyun’s ascension was impossible?
Couldn’t she wait until Li Jianyun became Emperor to reopen the case, to conduct a thorough investigation…
Even now, Shen Yuezhuang didn’t understand. “Since it wasn’t the only path, why did she choose to throw her whole life away? How is that any different from stabbing herself?”
“That’s why I truly hate her for it! There are millions of people in this world. Anyone can not cherish her, but she, herself, cannot! As her friend, from my perspective, I naturally hate anyone who hurts my friend… even if that person is herself.”
This speech left A Sang feeling stunned.
Her mistress hadn’t wanted to enter the palace either. She hadn’t wanted her mistress to enter the palace!
But her mistress said it was her father’s wish, the family’s hope.
As a servant, while she resented the Master’s decision, she didn’t have the same resolute and absolute stance as Shen Yuezhuang. She lacked the standing to be angry.
The pastry in her hand suddenly lost all its flavor. A Sang stared blankly into the void in front of her and sighed.
If only all the world’s problems could be solved as easily as Shen Yuezhuang said—by taking a stab and then getting angry!
But A Sang didn’t stay melancholy for long. She remembered something Shen Yuezhuang had told her not long ago: “For us folks who don’t make a living by using our brains, the most important thing is to do as we’re told!” So, she quickly pulled herself out of the slight lament.
She had to follow her mistress’s orders and repay her life debt to the Empress Dowager or the Emperor. And now, with various factors to consider, she had to mend the relationship between her superior and her friend!
A Sang wolfed down the pastry in her hand in a couple of bites, brushed off the crumbs, and said, “But if you hate her, why did you hang a prayer plaque for her?”
Shen Yuezhuang rolled her eyes. “What kind of question is that? My father hits me, my maternal grandfather scolds me!”
Her words were a bit vague, jumping inexplicably from Liu Yun to the Marquis of Yongding and Grand Preceptor Huo. But A Sang felt she understood.
Things happened, relationships existed!
In the end, she hated only the fact that the Empress Dowager had entered the palace, not the person herself.
A Sang’s face showed a hint of understanding, and her heart relaxed. “It’s just like the old folks say: mother and daughter, no lasting feud.”
Shen Yuezhuang, who was never willing to lose on seniority, choked on her words. Her gaze turned dark and ominous. “Who are you calling mother and daughter?”
A Sang pursed her lips. “Well then… does this count as ‘A couple’s quarrel never lasts the night?’”
Shen Yuezhuang: “…”