Over the next few days, Gu Xizhou would pay attention to Ding Shiyun’s movements.
She discovered that the other girl, just like herself, had no friends besides Su Zhiyi.
Most of the time during class breaks, Ding Shiyun would sit in her own seat, busy and bustling. At lunchtime, Su Zhiyi would lead Zhang Chuchu and a group of Omegas, marching in great splendor to the cafeteria to eat.
During afternoon self-study periods, Su Zhiyi, as class president, would usually head to the meeting room with Ding Shiyun and a few Omegas who could draw to work on the posters.
Sometimes Su Zhiyi would also go to eat alone with Ding Shiyun. The normally very quiet Ding Shiyun seemed to always have endless things to talk about in front of Su Zhiyi.
Take today’s lunch, for example. Sitting diagonally across from them, poking at the rice in her bowl, Gu Xizhou watched from afar as Ding Shiyun’s little mouth chattered away non-stop.
Ah, Ding Shiyun was so clingy with Su Zhiyi. And Su Zhiyi indulged her so much.
Gu Xizhou admitted she was feeling sour. Even when 0820 mocked her—”You have time to wallow in melodrama, but no time to take the initiative? You’re a coward.”—she couldn’t be bothered to retort.
The meal tasted bland. Sitting across from her, Yan Qing was still complaining about the recent training teacher being too rough.
Yan Qing grumbled to herself for quite a while without getting a response. She looked up and saw Gu Xizhou’s gaze fixed somewhere behind her, clearly not listening, and felt speechless. “Gu Xizhou…”
Gu Xizhou snapped back to attention. “What’s up?”
“What are you looking at?” Yan Qing found it strange and turned her head to look behind her. Seeing Ding Shiyun and Su Zhiyi chatting happily away, she immediately understood.
She gave a light “tsk,” looked at Gu Xizhou, her gaze suggestive. “You’re watching Su Zhiyi, huh?”
Gu Xizhou blushed with embarrassment. She lowered her head and shoveled two mouthfuls of rice, covering up. “No…”
“Heh heh…”
Gu Xizhou ignored her sarcastic tone and refocused her eyes on her. She smiled and asked, “What were you just saying? Say it again.”
Her attitude was good, so Yan Qing couldn’t be bothered to hold it against her and had to recount the matter once more.
That day, it happened to be Yan Qing’s day for cleaning duty. Gu Xizhou stayed behind to help her clean up.
After the two had tidied the desks and chairs, they walked out of the classroom.
Passing by the corridor entrance, they heard a burst of silvery laughter.
Yan Qing instinctively headed toward that small meeting room. Pushing open the ajar door, she saw Su Zhiyi at once. “Class President, you haven’t gone home yet?”
Su Zhiyi held a palette in one hand and a paintbrush in the other, busy coloring the poster.
Perhaps from playing around, both she and Ding Shiyun had streaks of different paints on their faces. Like little indigenous forest natives smeared with oil paints, very exotic.
When someone pushed the door open, the girl looked up. Her cheeks still carried a pink flush left over from the fun.
Gu Xizhou, who was behind Yan Qing, looked at the paint on Su Zhiyi’s face, and then saw Ding Shiyun beside her, also blushing and very shy. Her brain suddenly jammed.
She stood behind Yan Qing, pressing her lips together, and didn’t speak.
Su Zhiyi, for her part, didn’t blush as much in front of outsiders as Ding Shiyun did. But seeing Gu Xizhou, she still felt somewhat embarrassed.
She gave a light cough, straightened up, and said with graceful poise, “Yeah, drawing posters. And you two? Cleaning duty?”
Yan Qing answered, “Mm.”
Gu Xizhou didn’t speak. Yan Qing glanced at her and, seeing she had no intention of greeting anyone, said, “Then we won’t disturb you. We’ll head back now. Bye-bye.”
“Bye-bye, see you tomorrow.”
Su Zhiyi curved her eyes and waved at Yan Qing, then shifted her gaze to Gu Xizhou behind her.
She thought Gu Xizhou would greet her, but when she looked over, Gu Xizhou only nodded slightly and left moments later.
Su Zhiyi was surprised, but didn’t say anything more. Holding her palette, she continued coloring with Ding Shiyun.
On the way from the teaching building to the subway station, Gu Xizhou was very silent.
Yan Qing sensed her mood was off and nudged her with an elbow. “What’s wrong? Unhappy?”
Gu Xizhou instinctively wanted to say “No,” but Yan Qing was her friend, and she shouldn’t hide things from her. She had no choice but to answer honestly. “A little.”
She furrowed her brows and looked at Yan Qing very seriously. “Would you and your good friends smear paint on each other’s faces?”
Gu Xizhou felt her number of friends was still too few and couldn’t understand what kind of reasoning led to such behavior.
This seemed way too intimate. Could friends really be so uninhibited with each other?
Yan Qing had initially wanted to tease her, but seeing Gu Xizhou’s earnest expression, she couldn’t help bursting into loud laughter.
On the dim, tree-lined path, the girl’s hearty laughter echoed.
Yan Qing reached out and ruffled Gu Xizhou’s head vigorously, laughing so hard tears were about to fall. “Hahaha… Gu Xizhou, you’re so cute!”
“Why wouldn’t we? When we went camping and played poker, we even drew monkey butts on each other!”
Gu Xizhou’s ears were red from being laughed at. She gently pushed Yan Qing’s hand away and said sheepishly, “Alright, alright, I get it.”
She was overthinking things.
Despite this, Gu Xizhou remained distracted. During evening training, in order to vent the frustration in her heart, she hit especially hard and nearly injured one of her senior brothers.
It wasn’t until she’d hammered him down onto the ring with one punch that she realized how ferocious she’d been today and hurriedly went to help him up.
She hastily pulled him up, her mouth constantly apologizing. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”
The senior brother wasn’t angry. Using her hand to stand up, he even teased her a bit. “Not bad, Xizhou. Your power is coming through.”
“You had great momentum today. Let’s continue.”
The senior brother adjusted his state slightly and quickly led Gu Xizhou back into the drill. “Again!”
“Yes!”
When a person is jealous or angry, there’s a pent-up force in their chest. When that force catalyzes into ferocity and surges out from the fist, it becomes weight.
Gu Xizhou pounded punches all night. Soaked in sweat from head to toe, she went into the locker room to wash up, and only changed into fresh clothes and came out.
Yan Qing had also just finished showering. She fished a sports drink out of the fridge and pulled the tab with a “psst,” taking a large gulp with her head tilted back. “Ah! So refreshing!”
Wiping her hair, Gu Xizhou glanced at her with a concerned tone. “Don’t drink something so cold right after exercise. Master will scold you.”
Yan Qing pouted and said peevishly, “Training is already so grueling. Must I be deprived of even my right to a happy beverage?”
Gu Xizhou sighed and said earnestly, “This is all for your own good.”
Yan Qing muttered, “Good or not is secondary. Happiness is all that matters.”
Gu Xizhou couldn’t say anything more. She held a towel and silently wiped her damp hair.
Yan Qing, however, walked over to her, narrowed her eyes, and scrutinized her, her tone very gossipy. “I heard you beat Senior Brother Li quite badly today. That much of a temper?”
Gu Xizhou looked up, her eyes somewhat bewildered. “What temper?”
“Heh heh…” Yan Qing reached out and poked Gu Xizhou’s thin shoulder blade. “It’s about Su Zhiyi and Ding Shiyun… Thinking back on it now, you were watching Su Zhiyi at lunch because Ding Shiyun was there too, right?”
“Gu Xizhou, you’re jealous, aren’t you?”
Gu Xizhou: …
Gu Xizhou wiped her hair, biting her lip as she looked at Yan Qing, her expression somewhat tangled. “It’s not exactly that. I just feel like their relationship is too good.”
“If someone were as close with you as that, and you guys were messing around, and I saw it too, I’d probably be unhappy as well.”
Yan Qing’s eyes widened, extremely surprised. “Wow, Gu Xizhou, you love me that much!”
Gu Xizhou had successfully sidetracked her. She couldn’t help smiling slightly and said lightly, “Of course. You’re my friend.”
“I have very few friends, so I treasure all of them. If my good friend isn’t the one who’s closest to me, of course I’d be unhappy.”
“It’s just human nature.”
Right, that must be it.
The fundamental source of all her emotions was “possessiveness.”
Yan Qing was also a mature, steady child, very good at reading people’s hearts. Most teenagers at this age are too ashamed to express their emotions to the people they care about.
One reason: it’s not cool. They have to maintain a detached facade, feeling that once they say what they truly feel, it exposes how much they care, putting them in a weaker position.
The other reason: they don’t express anything at all.
But someone like Gu Xizhou, who just came out and said it directly—Yan Qing was seeing that for the first time.
Yan Qing admitted she was touched. She threw an arm around Gu Xizhou’s shoulders and patted her thin frame, greatly heartened. “Good sister, your dinner tonight is on me!”
“Tell me, what do you want to eat? Anything you want!”
“What’s so great about a two-timing social butterfly like Su Zhiyi anyway? From now on, you’re my one and only little sister.”
“I’ve got your back!”
This tone sounded like she desperately wanted Gu Xizhou to call her “Daddy.”
Gu Xizhou silently pushed her hand away and said tactfully, “I feel like… you also have quite a few little sisters, so let’s just forget it.”
Declining the sisters proposal, Gu Xizhou didn’t decline the dinner, however. She mooched a “feast” off Yan Qing and took the subway home.
At half-past ten at night, Gu Xizhou hugged her backpack, sitting in the crowded corner, her expression very dejected.
0820, infected by her mood, was also somewhat down. She didn’t know how to advise her either, so she just said, “If you really think Su Zhiyi and Ding Shiyun are dating, just go ask her.”
“Here you are, moping around like Lin Daiyu burying flowers, thinking Su Zhiyi will come coax you?”
Gu Xizhou sighed, a little melancholy. “You don’t understand.”
0820 found this amusing. “What don’t I understand? The thoughts of you little alphas, they’re nothing but those things. What don’t I get?”
“Liking her is liking her. Why must you use ‘friendly possessiveness’ as an excuse?”
“Is admitting you’re drawn to Su Zhiyi that hard, Gu Xizhou?”
Gu Xizhou didn’t speak. She sighed again. “Haah…”
0820 was almost annoyed. “Stop sighing! Just go ask her directly!”
Gu Xizhou’s mood was very complicated. She thought for a moment, then said after a while, “What I’m sad about, what I care about, isn’t how many friends she has, or who she might like, or what her life has to do with me.”
“It’s that her life is really good right now. I feel happy, and also sad about it.”
“I’m happy she has friends, that she’s doing things she likes, and maybe even has someone she likes—that she won’t head towards that future in the dream!”
“I’m sad because I feel like… maybe there’s nothing between her and me…”
Gu Xizhou didn’t quite know how to phrase it. Her tone started to grow a little frantic. “Anyway, it’s like that. Can you understand?”
0820 understood. Understood completely.
This meant their future might already have changed. From now on, Su Zhiyi’s happiness and sorrow might have nothing to do with her.
She felt both gratified and sad.
0820 let out a sigh and finally summarized mercilessly, “After all that, basically you’re just saying you think she’s dating someone and you’re very sad, aren’t you?”
Gu Xizhou: …
Gu Xizhou didn’t want to talk. She thought this broken system was so annoying and even started getting angry. “Get out of my body right now!”
So annoying! Bastard! If you knew, then don’t say it out loud!
