Chapter 24

Dressing with an air of nobility has its merits. There’s truth in that. But dressing as nobly as the emperor himself means a screw is loose somewhere. Feng Jun had once had that screw tightened, but Jiang Yang had talked him out of it offhandedly, and he’d never seen reason since.

Immortals in the Mortal Realm are bound by the laws of Heaven’s Dao, but for Feng Jun these might as well not exist. Jiang Yang had expected this lofty Heavenly Emperor to fly into a thunderous rage and treat the mortal realm to another opera classic of “The Immortal Descends.” Instead, Feng Jun actually surrendered without a fight.

Surrendered in the most literal sense. He stood there obediently, waiting for the soldiers to bind his hands, then loop the rope around his body, securely wrapping him up tight.

If he wasn’t resisting, Jiang Yang naturally dared not resist either.

Arrested alongside them was the self-proclaimed mourning woman, Honglian, who had just successfully “sold herself.” As the Prefect of Jingzhao arrived, she seemed to tug imperceptibly at the corner of her mouth and murmured under her breath, “What a bother.”

Jiang Yang looked back at her and saw she’d instantly adopted a look of maidenly fright before the soldiers.

The three of them were thus taken away.

What bewildered Jiang Yang even more was Feng Jun. The Prefect of Jingzhao conducted a disorderly, slipshod interrogation in court, then had Feng Jun given forty heavy strokes of the plank on the spot and thrown into the prison. With their immortal techniques protecting their bodies, they feared no harm. But what on earth had possessed Feng Jun to let a mere mortal walk all over him?

The King of Hell himself wouldn’t dare touch a hair on his head by comparison.

Once they were locked in the cells, Jiang Yang finally got the chance to ask him. Feng Jun replied, “Since we’ve come, might as well sample the flavor of a jail cell. What you said was right, A Yang. This Prefect of Jingzhao is indeed a useless official drawing unearned pay. He went straight to the plank without even properly interrogating me.”

Jiang Yang said, “Heav… the place we live also has a jail, far more secure than this one. Why didn’t you stay in that one?”

The male and female prisons were separate. From the next cell over, Feng Jun stretched lazily. “They all know who I am there. How dull it would be to stay there. Besides, as exalted as my status is, how could I commit something so unseemly?”

“Truly a pampered young master raised in the lap of luxury, blind to the bitter hardships of the common folk, tra-la~la~la~” Jiang Yang turned her head toward the voice. It was the mourning-clad woman who had been arrested with them. She was leaning bonelessly against the cell wall, her fingers tapping one by one on her curled knee. The last four words were actually sung out, twisting and lilting in a way that clearly came from opera training.

“Finally decided to drop the act?” Jiang Yang seemed to have anticipated this all along. She first raised her hand and cast a barrier to block Feng Jun’s line of sight, then stated with certainty, “You’re no filial daughter selling yourself to bury your father. What great being are you? State your name.”

Honglian replied in a coquettish tone, “But I already told you, Miss. My name is Honglian.”

“I don’t care if you’re a red lotus, white lotus, black lotus, or green lotus. I have a pond full of lotus flowers, and I’ve never seen the likes of you.” Without any visible movement from Jiang Yang, her fingers suddenly closed around Honglian’s throat. As she tightened her grip, her voice dropped to a cold register: “Neither demon nor immortal, a freak of nature. Did you reincarnate wrong, or are you just tired of living? Did you eat the Divine Dragon Gallbladder from the East Sea to dare deceive me?”

Honglian’s expression showed not a trace of pain. Instead, a soft, smooth hand slowly reached up to rest on the back of the hand clamped around her neck. Her fingertips traced slowly upward along Jiang Yang’s hand, then drifted to her face. She murmured approvingly, “I never imagined that someone so plain-featured could feel so pleasant to the touch. Not bad. Not bad at all.”

Never in her life had Jiang Yang suffered such an insult. In a flash, the intent to kill surged within her.

Honglian drawled, “Beauty, do you wish to kill me?”

Jiang Yang’s thin lips pressed into a tight line. A lethal strike burst from her hand.

“Tsk, I’ll stop playing with you. Losing my life would be a shame. I shall come find you again tomorrow. Wait for me.” In a blur before her eyes, while Jiang Yang was off guard, the figure slipped through her grasp like a darting fish. Then a streak of crimson light vanished from sight.

Jiang Yang was about to give chase, but when she saw the being’s true form, she froze. That was…

She sat down, muttering to herself. “And here I thought she was some kind of creature. So demonic and seductive. I’m a snake demon myself, and I don’t look like that.”

“…someone so plain-featured could feel so pleasant to the touch. Not bad. Not bad at all.”

Subconsciously, Jiang Yang raised a hand and touched her own face. After a moment, she let out a heavy, emphatic “Hmph!” Let her not cross paths with her again.

Today, the Prefect of Jingzhao’s mansion welcomed a distinguished guest.

Music and dance filled the air, strings and flutes resounding.

Amidst the clinking of wine cups, the Prefect of Jingzhao raised his goblet toward the woman seated in the place of honor. “For the Saintess to grace this humble abode in your great presence, truly this shabby house is now resplendent!”

“Oh, come now,” the Saintess waved a hand dismissively, a faint smile playing on her lips. “Lord Wang is too courteous. My visit today is for a personal request.”

“‘Request’ is too strong a word! Saintess need only command, and I, your humble servant, would shred my body to dust without… urgh…” The Prefect let out a drunken belch, then continued, “…without hesitation!”

The Saintess covered her nose with a hand. The Prefect immediately scrambled backward several steps, grinning awkwardly in embarrassment.

“It’s like this,” the Saintess began. “Deeply disheartened by the decline in public morals, I staged a little morality play in the bustling market today, posing as a woman selling herself to bury her father. When ruffians accosted me, not a single person extended a hand to help. Only one young lady ordered her servant to drive the villains away and generously offered financial aid. My heart was greatly comforted. I was just about to properly reward this young lady when you, Lord Wang, descended like celestial troops and hauled her away along with her servant.”

Two people? I distinctly remember hauling away three! And one of them seemed to be wearing mourning clothes…

Lord Wang’s intoxication instantly sobered into stark terror. He collapsed to his knees with a thud. “Your servant-servant-servant…”

The Saintess bent down and gave him a beaming smile, saying nothing.

A dampness spread across the crotch of Lord Wang’s robes. He stammered in a trembling voice, “Saintess, sp-sp-sp-spare my life.”

Damn, this game went sideways…

“Eek! Get away from me! Change your clothes, switch rooms, light some incense, and then we’ll talk.” By the time she finished speaking, Saintess Lian had already bolted outside as if fleeing a plague. “Wang Qin, have you any fragrant beauties in this mansion? Send one to speak with me. You stand behind the screen.”

After much fuss, the Saintess was finally satisfied. She looked at the beauty before her and inquired in a gentle voice, “Go ask Wang Qin: besides beheading, according to Da Liang law, is there a lighter sentence for those two?”

The beauty drifted over and back. “His Lordship says that if the Saintess commands it, setting them free without charge is nothing.”

The Saintess said, “Don’t set them free. Ask him to find a light sentence.”

Indeed, even walking, a beauty is graceful. That old scoundrel Wang Qin had landed himself a fine one.

“His Lordship says the lightest sentence would be exile.”

“Where to?”

“Usually the southwest.”

“Which place in the southwest is the most prosperous?”

“Lanzhou City.”

“Excellent.” The Saintess clapped her hands together and laughed. “Then exile them to Lanzhou City.”

She tilted her head, appraising the beauty before her, then raised her voice. “Wang Qin, how about you give this beauty to me? Keeping her here is a true waste.”

No matter how Wang Qin chewed on that, it tasted unpleasant. But he who outranks you by many levels can crush you like an ant. He fawned, “Oh, what are you saying? So many high officials and nobles wish to send beauties to the Saintess, yet you accept none. If you’ve taken a liking to someone from my household, it’s her good fortune.”

He turned toward the woman and barked, “Li Ji! Kowtow and thank the Saintess!”

“Oh, Lord Wang, why so fierce? If you frighten my beauty here, can you afford to pay for the damages?”

Wang Qin swiftly agreed in a flurry of nods.

The news that the Saintess had visited the Prefect of Jingzhao’s Mansion and left with a beauty quickly spread amongst the civil and military officials. Yet, no one knew what happened afterward. While the Saintess loved beauties, she only loved looking at them. Observing their bearing, their gestures, their charm lifted her spirits. But she never, ever touched mortal beauties.

That very night, she branded a mark on the forehead of the beauty brought from the Prefect’s mansion and ordered her to go to the Saintess Palace by herself, where her own people would care for her.

Beauties? They should be well looked after. How could she let an old scoundrel like Wang Qin ruin them?

After changing into a less conspicuous outfit, she popped a candied hawthorn stick bought on the road into her mouth and lolled leisurely onto the road that led to Lanzhou City—the mandatory path for exiles.