After dinner, the three of them squeezed into the kitchen to wash the dishes, exchanging silence.
Because neither Si Nanyu’s question nor Qin Hua’s question had received a clear answer.
And as for Si Jiamu, only Wen Qingyan could bring her up freely. Neither of the other two wanted to touch the subject.
As for the question of staying the night, Wen Qingyan had sidestepped it.
Si Nanyu, on the other hand, kept sneaking glances at Wen Qingyan. While washing dishes, she wedged herself right between Qin Hua and Wen Qingyan, cheeks flushed, saying nothing.
Her gaze flicked to Qin Hua one moment, then to Wen Qingyan the next.
To Si Nanyu, Wen Qingyan’s presence had a kind of magic to it, and Qin Hua knew that magic well. As long as things drifted toward Wen Qingyan, Si Nanyu could forget a great deal.
Like, for instance, why she had seen Si Jiamu.
Once the dishes were nearly done, Qin Hua excused herself first, and Si Nanyu finally worked up the courage to ask, “Teacher… before, did we…”
“Always stay over?”
If this had been Wen Qingyan from over half a year ago, she might have answered without hesitation: yes, they would stay.
But it wasn’t over half a year ago. Back then, Si Nanyu would never have asked such a silly question. Instead, on one weekend most months, usually right when Qin Hua returned from a business trip, the two of them would stay over here.
At least, that was how things were supposed to go.
But these past six months had been full of surprises, and it had been a long time since they’d stayed over at Qin Hua’s place.
Wen Qingyan couldn’t bring herself to lie. Eyes lowered, she said, “…We used to.”
“As for now…”
“So which room are we sleeping in?”
Si Nanyu cut her off before she could finish, her eyes shining. Wen Qingyan felt as if that gaze had pressed a hot iron to her heart, and for a long moment, no words came out.
She let Si Nanyu pull her out of the kitchen.
Si Nanyu was easily embarrassed, and when embarrassed, she got awkward and fidgety. In Wen Qingyan’s memory, that was how she’d been when they had just gotten together, and before they had. In recent years, the Si Nanyu Wen Qingyan knew best was bold and unrestrained.
So unrestrained, in fact, that more often than not, she hardly spared a thought for Wen Qingyan’s feelings.
Right now, at this very moment, it seemed much the same.
And so, once again, the thought that Si Nanyu hadn’t lost her memory at all surged up in Wen Qingyan’s chest.
“Your forehead… does it still hurt?” The question came out of nowhere, but Wen Qingyan’s eyes still stung.
Because Si Nanyu was always like this. Just when Wen Qingyan was about to hold a grudge, she would go and stuff a piece of candy into her mouth.
It did still hurt a little, but Wen Qingyan was stubborn and refused to admit it. “It doesn’t hurt anymore.”
Si Nanyu was capable of self-reflection, and she hadn’t forgotten about bumping Wen Qingyan’s head. Her sudden temper simply needed time to settle.
One meal, a few words that made her blush. That was enough.
So she leaned in closer, staring at the slightly reddened spot on Wen Qingyan’s forehead, and argued, “But it still looks really red to me.”
“It must hurt.”
“I’m sorry!”
The apology was deeply earnest, carrying remorse for the bump on Wen Qingyan’s head, and remorse for not rushing to soothe her right away.
Just how well did Wen Qingyan know Si Nanyu?
Enough that a handful of small things made her feel she understood her completely, and yet Si Nanyu never played by the rules.
This was one of those small things, and she had guessed right.
Si Nanyu was only holding off on comforting her for the moment. Once she came back to herself, she would sidle over playing pitiful.
And when Wen Qingyan still didn’t respond, she would lower her eyes and soften her voice into a whine. “I said I’m sorry~~”
Wen Qingyan couldn’t hold out against her. Gradually softening inside, she asked, “Do you really want to stay over?”
But the moment the words left her mouth, she regretted it.
Si Nanyu was a master at seizing any opening she was given!
First she nodded furiously, chanting, “Yes, yes, yes!” Then she quietly edged closer, cheeks scarlet.
Sneaky as a thief, convinced she was undetectable, she pushed her luck even further. “Then should we go out for a walk first? It’s still early~” Her voice tilted upward, and the more she talked, the more outrageous she got. “Oh, and on my way here I noticed an empty lot in the complex where you can see the stars!”
Whether by accident or by design, Si Nanyu was pulling the same old trick, and it stirred up memories in Wen Qingyan that were not exactly innocent.
One time, when they had come back to Qin Hua’s place, Si Nanyu had done exactly this. After dinner, under the pretense of a stroll, she had dragged her to that empty lot, and then in the darkness…
She’d done whatever she pleased.
“No…!” Wen Qingyan’s instinct was to refuse, but for reasons too shameful to name, her voice came out tiny. Si Nanyu, bolder now, had already taken her by the arm and was eagerly towing her toward the door, not hearing a word she said.
Wen Qingyan seemed to have lost control of herself as well. Looking at the light in Si Nanyu’s eyes, all she could think of was indulging her, and so she let herself be led out, one step at a time.
The empty lot wasn’t far. Before long, they arrived. Though it was already early autumn, the place really was beautiful. Qin Hua had even asked Si Nanyu and Wen Qingyan for their input when buying the apartment, and the environment truly was lovely.
Si Nanyu wanted to run wild every time she came here, and this time was no different.
“Wow!”
“The stars here are so pretty.”
She tilted her head back in admiration without letting go of Wen Qingyan’s hand. Worse, some habits ran bone-deep. Without either of them noticing, their fingers had laced together.
Si Nanyu’s hand had clean, defined bones and a firm grip, wrapping around hers with not a gap between them.
Si Nanyu gazed at the stars. Wen Qingyan stared, unblinking, down at their joined hands.
The longer she looked, the worse it hurt.
What was this supposed to be? Si Nanyu claimed she couldn’t remember anything about their past, and yet here she was doing the very same things they used to do.
Without a second thought, Wen Qingyan yanked her hand free.
Away from the warmth of Si Nanyu’s palm, away from the fingertips that had clung and curled around hers.
“Let’s go back.”
Si Nanyu, smiling up at the stars, froze at the sound of her voice. Almost in the same second, she turned to Wen Qingyan.
She watched her blink hard, her breathing tightening.
Then she looked down at their hands, now separated, and a sharp pain seized her heart. Si Nanyu opened her mouth, unable to grasp what that emotion even was, before shame flooded in to fill the gap.
“I…”
“I didn’t mean to. I just…” she stammered, trying to read what emotion lay on the half of Wen Qingyan’s face lit by the darkness.
But she couldn’t tell. All she heard was Wen Qingyan saying, in a voice thick with self-mockery, “Force of habit.”
Then came the urging. “I’m tired. Let’s go back.”
“We have to stop by the school tomorrow morning.”
It really was late, and Wen Qingyan’s excuse was perfectly reasonable, but Si Nanyu’s instincts were sharp enough to catch it anyway. Wen Qingyan was unhappy.
Not the way she’d been about discovering her and Shao Ling hanging out together, or about getting bumped on the head.
This was different. A low, heavy pressure. Plain and simple, she was in a bad mood.
The beautiful stars no longer held any charm for Si Nanyu. On the walk back, her whole heart and every glance were fixed on Wen Qingyan.
The feeling was not a pleasant one. It was as if some piece of her had gone missing, able to sense a little of what Wen Qingyan felt, yet with no idea how to reach her. All she could do was follow helplessly behind.
