Chapter 274: Heartless
When had Nangong Ying started to realize this feeling? Perhaps it was after she had completely let go and heartlessly betrayed her, perhaps it was after she had lost her, or perhaps it was even earlier. But none of this mattered, because it was already impossible for them to go back to the past, and she could no longer have any relationship with her.
It should have been like this.
But she couldn’t let go. It was more like she didn’t want to let go. She still wanted to get something, even though it was a meaningless thing.
Every day after work, she would log onto Weibo to look at this person’s account, Shion, to see how she was doing now. Everyone said Shion was amazing, a newcomer author who had achieved results that many authors couldn’t achieve in a lifetime. And her popularity was very high, often competing with popular celebrities for the top trending spots. Everyone recognized her as a future star.
But for Nangong Ying, that was the Yu Linna she was familiar with, the Yu Linna she wanted to understand, a completely different Yu Linna from the past.
“Why are you always looking at her?”
“Can’t I?”
“Of course you can. Let’s get pizza after work.”
“Okay.”
If only I could talk to her again, that would be great.
Though she didn’t dare to hope for it.
She wasn’t worthy.
…
Xiao Yanhan had been working very hard recently, desperately. For her manga career, she had decided to give it her all. For this, she had entered a frenzied state, not even going to class, just drawing in her dorm every day. And the few people in her dorm had discovered that when they got up at six in the morning, she was still drawing at her desk, basically pulling an all-nighter. And she was unwilling to stop, constantly drawing, constantly perfecting her manga. If anyone asked her why, she would surely answer, “Because this is my dream.”
Xiao Yanhan had loved manga since she was very young. Influenced by her father, she also wanted to be a manga artist. But turning ideals into reality was never as simple as imagined. She had first submitted her manga, but had returned in defeat, with nothing to show for it. After that, she had continuously tried to submit, constantly changing her style, but had failed without exception. The editors always said, “Your story isn’t interesting enough.”
So what was an interesting story? She had always wanted to know, so she had always worked hard.
But the longer the time, the more rejections she received, and she discovered that her work had never been successful. Gradually, she began to grow numb. She began to doubt her own ability. She thought that perhaps she was not suitable to continue being a manga artist. Just as she was about to go back to being an ordinary person, she had accidentally read Shion-sensei’s novel. She thought again, perhaps I can also draw such a story. And so she picked up her brush again and continued to move forward.
An ordinary life was certainly good, and there wasn’t much to worry about, but that was definitely not what she wanted. What she really wanted was her ideal, her dream, a child’s dream of becoming a manga artist.
“Yan, are you planning to continue on this path? This path is not that easy to walk.”
Her mother had also called her, asking if she had really decided to continue. After all, being a manga artist was not that simple. The competition in the industry was cruel. Countless youths with ideals threw themselves into it, but how many could stay? Everyone wanted to become famous, to leave their own mark here, but it was too difficult to stay. Most people were swept away by the sea on the beach, washed into the ocean. Only a few grains of sand could remain on the beach.
Manga artist, novelist, celebrity, no matter which one you chose, it wasn’t that simple. The cruel competition in the industry forced them to make a choice: to continue to barely survive or to choose another path.
Xiao Yanhan was one of these people.
“Mom, I will walk on, I will always walk on. Until I become a great manga artist. I also know I’m being willful, but this time I think I can succeed.”
“Alright. No matter what you become, I’ll be at home waiting for you to come back for dinner.”
She was relatively lucky. Her parents supported her and were willing to let her do what she liked.
Xiao Yanhan hung up the phone, patted her cheeks. No, I still have to draw my manuscript. I can’t continue to waste time. She sat down and continued to draw her manga. She had to finish the manuscript before the deadline and submit it. This was her last chance to submit this year. She had to strive to debut next year as a manga artist. What her father could do, she could definitely do too. It was just that she was different from her father. Her father had a partner, while she could only rely on herself for everything.
Yu Linna saw how diligent she was and didn’t have the heart to disturb her. For now, she could only let her develop freely. Only by letting her continue to fight could she experience the hard-won success. Everyone wants to succeed, but success is definitely not something that can be achieved just by talking about it, by sitting at home and waiting. Hopefully, this experience would let her understand how difficult it is to struggle. Just saying “I’ve already worked hard” on your lips will not lead to success. Hard work is just the basic requirement. To truly want to succeed, you still have to rely on correct choices and judgments, and of course, you have to seize opportunities.
And Xiao Yanhan was indeed working hard enough. Her appearance even made Yu Linna feel as if she were seeing the days when she had spent seven days and six nights writing Ballad of the Enchantress. Those days were something she would absolutely never forget in her lifetime.
Xiao Yanhan had indeed not worked hard enough in the past few years. She thought that as long as she kept drawing and constantly changing her art style, she would succeed, and she didn’t reflect on her own shortcomings. But now she was different. She had changed, so she had to become the person she most wanted to be.
“Finished!!”
One morning, the three of them in the dorm were woken up by Xiao Yanhan’s excited shout. Lan Ranyan even wanted to curse, but seeing Xiao Yanhan’s pale face under the bed, her dark circles particularly obvious, and her sickly appearance, only the smile on her lips was dazzling, making it impossible to look away.
Lan Ranyan’s sleepiness was gone. She came down to get herself a glass of water and looked at her finished manuscript. Gambling Boy could indeed be said to be the most manga-like manga she had drawn in so many years. The manga of the past Xiao Yanhan had felt like she was just playing around. But this time, Gambling Boy let her see how amazing Xiao Yanhan could be after her small universe exploded.
“Not bad, you’ve got the look.”
“Hehe.”
Being praised by Lan Ranyan for a rare time, Xiao Yanhan blushed a little and smiled happily. She felt that all her hard work was worth it.
Yu Linna yawned, rubbed her eyes, and picked up the manga she had drawn to look at it. Anyway, her sleep was gone. She might as well take this time to look at the manga and then write something. She still had to go and discuss the script with the program team today. She planned to turn down the script for the second season of The Smile of the Rose because she was too busy and wanted to free up some time to do other things. Besides, she didn’t want to be rushing her manuscript during the New Year.
“How is it, my dear Shion-sensei?”
Xiao Yanhan looked at her with anticipation.
Yu Linna finished reading the whole manga. Compared to the past, she had indeed made great progress. Xiao Yanhan finally stopped randomly stuffing strange elements into a pot and stewing them together. She at least had a clear plan of her own. Overall, it wasn’t bad.
“You’ve improved. The manga is indeed completely different from before.”
“Yay!!”
Xiao Yanhan jumped up in excitement. She really wanted to do a few somersaults in the dorm to vent her joy, but thinking that she didn’t have the ability and would probably sprain her back, she gave up. But to get such an evaluation from Shion-sensei was enough to make her happy for several days.
“I’m going to submit it today. This time I will definitely succeed.”
She picked up the manuscript, kissed it a few times, as if it were a treasure. After so many things, she could finally go and submit it, moving forward on the path of her dream.
Her roommates all sent her their blessings and saw her off. Everyone was also happy for Xiao Yanhan, feeling that she had found her own path and could finally move forward. Only Yu Linna was as cold as usual, without a single smile. But everyone was used to this stinky loli’s coldness.
Xiao Yanhan went out.
She went to the magazine company. There were several large magazine companies in Guangnan City, among which “Manmao” was one. It was the magazine company she often submitted to, and the editors already knew her. Plus, her father had once been a famous manga artist in the manga world. As his daughter, she had submitted many times. It was impossible for the people at the magazine company not to know her. It was just that she was far from her father’s level. She seemed to have no aptitude at all. She always submitted, but her drawings didn’t improve much.
But today, all that perception would end.
That’s what she thought.
The editor asked her to sit down in the reception room and opened her manga. This manga, Gambling Boy, chose a hot-blooded theme that was popular in the market today, and also added the concept of gambling and money. Just the setting was quite interesting. The editor opened the first page and saw the protagonist, an ordinary student, get involved in the school’s underground gambling den. He was immediately attracted.
Perhaps this is a good story, the editor thought.
Then he flipped on.
Then, his brow furrowed.
The subsequent development of the manga was not without its highlights, but it was too bland. A story about gambling, a hot-blooded story, yet there was no major dramatic conflict, nor were there complex character relationships. Everyone was like a pre-set NPC, stiffly delivering lines, leading the male protagonist into the underground gambling den. The male protagonist naturally cheated his way up and became a gambling king, without any foreshadowing or transition. At the end, the male protagonist actually said he wanted to get more money by gambling. His greed was stimulated by gambling, and the turn was too abrupt. And the art style also became darker, making one wonder if this was really a hot-blooded manga.
“Yanhan, you’ve improved a lot, and the story is better than before.”
“Thank you.”
“But don’t be too happy too soon. This story has too many flaws. Many places are not handled well. All the characters seem to be there for the sake of the story, like NPCs. Although it’s hard to say so, but Yanhan, this manga of yours does not meet the requirements for commercial manga publication. Therefore, I cannot let your manuscript be published in the magazine.”
He returned the manuscript to Xiao Yanhan, very heartlessly rejecting her manuscript, once again letting her taste the cruelty of industry competition, letting her experience what it’s like to be sad.
“Editor…”
She looked at the returned manuscript, a large part of her heart hollowed out. The strong contrast made it difficult for her to accept. She had failed? Just like that?
The manuscript she had spent so long drawing was actually rejected.
Her efforts had turned to foam.
Is this world really so unfriendly? Even if you work hard, you won’t be rewarded. The result is the result. There is no possibility of reversal.
This is truly a hateful world.
Xiao Yanhan smiled bitterly, her tears falling onto her manuscript.
