Chapter 122: Once, Twice, and Countless Times
Perhaps this kind of thing always had a beginning, and then…
With the first time, there was a second, a third, and countless times.
After leaving the ancient records library, Mingyan had been thinking about this problem.
Mingyan had a good impression of the Temptress Sister. She really took good care of him and was very considerate. If he said he had no good feelings, then Mingyan would be a bit of a white-eyed wolf.
But this so-called good feeling, could it really make him cross some things that perhaps should not be crossed and go to the other side?
This was not just about the Temptress Sister and her. In fact, it also concerned Huang Feiyan and his senior sister.
Whether it was his senior sister or Huang Feiyan, adding more to the existing number was probably not a wise move.
But as Huang Qingfei had said, the Temptress Sister’s thoughts about him seemed to be known to everyone. And he really should give the Temptress Sister an answer, whether it was agreement or rejection.
Making a choice was a very difficult thing. To accept would hurt Huang Feiyan. To not accept would hurt the Temptress Sister. No matter which side, it seemed that it was impossible to accept.
If one ignored all other aspects and only looked at the situation brought about by the results of the two choices, rejecting the Temptress Sister would probably make Huang Junru, Huang Qingfei, and even the Temptress Sister herself have some resentment towards him. And accepting, only Huang Feiyan would be hurt. In this situation, it seemed that choosing to accept the Temptress Sister was the most appropriate.
But this kind of multiple-choice question could not be done like this, because Mingyan could not possibly ignore other aspects, such as what Huang Feiyan would think after knowing, or what the outside world would think.
How to make Huang Feiyan accept his senior sister was already giving Mingyan a headache. If there was another Temptress Sister…
This was also the situation Mingyan was most worried about, because they would see each other when they looked up and down. Even if he refused, he couldn’t avoid it in the future. This was the most awkward part.
Mingyan also couldn’t understand his own thoughts now. Perhaps after talking with the Temptress Sister, he could make a decision in his heart.
On the way, Mingyan remembered his sister’s words…
If you like it, go and have it. But if this possession would hurt the original people around him, should he still go and have it?
Mingyan was silent, thinking about this question. In fact, if he didn’t have too many moral bottom lines, it would be fine. Then he wouldn’t have to consider so much.
Mingyan came to the courtyard where Huang Junyi lived. She was a core figure of the Huang family, and her residence was very close to Huang Junru’s family head’s hall.
The people of the Huang family basically lived alone and would not have any maids or the like, because there were only Huang family members in the family. The Huang family did not distinguish between noble and lowly. Everyone was equal. Naturally, there would not be other Huang family members as maids or the like.
Mingyan walked into the courtyard and saw Huang Junyi. She was sitting in the pavilion in the courtyard, holding a wine cup alone, lost in thought.
Mingyan walked closer, and Huang Junyi’s gaze quickly swept over. She had probably already discovered Mingyan’s existence. Although she was not as good as her sisters, she was still a half-step Human Gateway.
“Sister,” Mingyan showed a smile and stopped in front of Huang Junyi.
“Why are you here? Do you want to have a drink with me?” Huang Junyi gently shook the wine cup, her smile charming.
“Are you in a bad mood again recently, Sister?” Mingyan sat down. “Why are you drinking to drown your sorrows again?”
“You think I’m drinking to drown my sorrows?” Huang Junyi chuckled. “I’m not that sentimental. I just wanted to drink, so I’m drinking.”
“It would be great if that were the case,” Mingyan sighed softly. “Your mood is not high. I can still see it.”
“Do you really think you can see it?” Huang Junyi’s smile did not diminish, charming and alluring.
“Do you think I can’t see it, Sister?” Mingyan asked in return.
“I hope you can see it,” Huang Junyi’s smile gradually faded. “Can you see through me?”
Huang Junyi’s tone was a little expectant. She was waiting for Mingyan’s answer. She was waiting for him to say “he could understand and see through.” She hoped Mingyan could understand her.
Mingyan heard everything, but the words were on the tip of his tongue, but he didn’t dare to say them easily.
Because to say it was equivalent to making that multiple-choice question in advance…
Accept, or refuse.
If Mingyan refused, then he would just say he couldn’t see through. That would cut off the possibility. After that, there wouldn’t be too many worries. If he said he could see through, that would be acceptance. After that, Huang Junyi would definitely tell him her heart’s thoughts.
So, it seemed to be an insignificant question and answer, but it affected what kind of ending there would be in the future.
Refusal required courage, but acceptance required even more courage.
If it was himself who was hurt, then it would be fine. Mingyan definitely wouldn’t be stingy. But the actual situation was that the former would hurt Huang Junyi, and the latter would hurt Huang Feiyan. It seemed that it was impossible to avoid hurting someone. It was the same as when Mingyan had to choose between his senior sister and Huang Feiyan before.
It seemed that choosing to give up on Huang Junyi was the right choice, because after all, from too many angles, Mingyan should not have any improper feelings with Huang Junyi.
But Mingyan recalled his sister’s words again…
Would giving up on the Temptress Sister become a regret? Years later, when Mingyan recalled this moment, would he feel sad, would he feel he had done something wrong?
The Temptress Sister’s feelings, were his actions worthy of them?
As a cultivator, if there were any regrets in this life, it would be too long. If he often recalled the choice at this moment and often felt regret, then it would probably be unbearable, right?
But if Mingyan accepted, Huang Feiyan’s feelings, his actions, were they worthy?
The clearer one saw, the harder it was to make a choice.
Mingyan did not lack courage, but to use courage to hurt others, what was the difference from being generous at others’ expense?
How can one have the best of both worlds?
Seeing Mingyan remain silent and not give an answer for a long time, Huang Junyi laughed at herself. “I just wanted to have a drink.”
Her tone was a little lonely and sad.
If Mingyan had answered Huang Junyi, told her that he had seen through her, her statement at this time would definitely not be like this. Perhaps she would have let him say her thoughts, perhaps she would have directly told him her thoughts.
Her saying this now was telling Mingyan that since he was unwilling to make it clear, then she did not want to either. Since Mingyan had already expressed his stance, to make it clear would only add to the awkwardness. Everyone was a smart person. It was enough to stop at the right point.
This way, the relationship between the two of them also ended here.
Perhaps, this was the best solution?
Mingyan looked at Huang Junyi and saw her eyes were dazed, with an indescribable loneliness and loss.
It was as if she thought there was someone who could understand her, but it turned out that the other person was like a fool and couldn’t understand, or was a coward and didn’t dare to admit it.
Mingyan felt an indescribable sadness in his heart, not because Huang Junyi had misunderstood him, but because he felt that he had let Huang Junyi down.
Recalling the relationship between him and the Temptress Sister, she had always trusted him unconditionally. This was fully demonstrated at the Ning family back then. She had once said that she always helped her own and not reason. In her eyes, Mingyan was “her own.”
Her care for him was never just a little bit.
She had chosen him very early on and then began to pay attention to and take care of him, silently supporting him. Perhaps it was to watch him grow up one day and repay her, or perhaps it was just to immerse herself in this sense of accomplishment.
But no matter what, Mingyan remembered all the good things the Temptress Sister had done for him.
“Go back, Mingyan. Go and accompany Feiyan,” Huang Junyi put down her wine cup and said to Mingyan with a smile.
Huang Junyi smiled—a very restrained smile, neither as alluring as before nor as dignified as when she faced outsiders.
So, was the Temptress Sister treating him as an outsider?
At this moment, Mingyan only felt a strong anger, not at Huang Junyi’s attitude towards him, nor at the fact that Huang Feiyan was unlikely to accept Huang Junyi, but at his own inability to settle all this, at why he couldn’t make a third choice between his senior sister and Huang Feiyan as he had done before.
For a long time, Mingyan’s attitude had been very problematic. Perhaps it was because he valued the concepts he had shaped for a long time too much, shackling himself in them, always worrying about hurting this person and that person, so he was hesitant in his actions.
Mingyan was very dissatisfied with this self, very annoyed.
So…
So, Mingyan had to shatter his former concepts and reshape himself.
If accepting Huang Junyi was indeed a hurt to Huang Feiyan, then at least Mingyan would not hurt Huang Junyi. At least, on Huang Feiyan’s side, Mingyan could still have a way to let her stay by his side.
Just like accepting his senior sister and Huang Feiyan, why couldn’t Mingyan accept Huang Junyi?
