Chapter 16: Birthday
“I was so ugly back then. Saying a single, unattainable ‘I like you’ almost killed me.”
Su Xi’s tone as she told this story was ice-cold, as if she were dissecting a movie plot, cutting the content into sections without adding any personal emotion.
“I also secretly went to the neighborhood to look for a boy named Lu Zhiyan. Unfortunately, the old gatekeeper told me that the boy, Lu Zhiyan, had gone abroad. Thinking back, those girls probably saw me as a love rival. But I didn’t even notice what that boy named Lu Zhiyan looked like.”
“And… and then? Are you… are you okay? Your father, he didn’t…”
Su Yu watched as Su Xi suddenly stopped speaking and pressed her for an answer.
“And then…”
Su Xi’s grip on their intertwined hands tightened. She paused for a few seconds, remembering the blue-dotted dress, stained with blood, that had probably been thrown into the trash along with the garbage, putting a final end to her short and bitter unrequited love.
She had secretly sworn that she would never expose that pathetic and ugly side of herself in front of the boy.
“I just got a beating. But I didn’t die. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to see Zhiyan.” Su Xi smiled, not caring much about this tragic past. “He died before me. I have nothing to hold a grudge against him for.”
Su Xi handed him the rusty key. The box that had sealed this memory was unlocked by the key. Su Yu suddenly understood everything. Their meeting was never a first encounter, but rather a reunion, a goodbye that had spanned more than a decade. The tangled mess that had been pulled apart was suddenly clear, and everything had a proper explanation.
“So Auntie Fang Yan and my dad had already…”
Su Yu’s impression of Fang Yan was still too shallow. The other party might remember him, but he had probably just brushed past her a few times in the corridor of his building, leaving no impression.
“I’m very satisfied. I don’t care about these things anymore.”
Su Xi smiled, her eyes curving into the shape of a crescent moon. She held up her intertwined hands with Su Yu and kissed the back of his hand, her lips lightly nipping at a bit of soft flesh, leaving a wet and sweet kiss mark.
“Zhiyan… don’t you think this is very good? If we could always be like this…” Su Xi’s heart was on fire. She curved her eyebrows, her eyes full of happiness and joy. “How wonderful would that be?”
“Do you want to be with someone like me, who can’t even use his limbs?”
“I…”
Su Yu looked at the faint curve of the girl’s lips. It was not the same as the sweet smile she had shown him when they had just met. His hand, which was hidden under the blanket, could already be clenched into a fist. He lowered his head with some difficulty and also placed a kiss on the back of the girl’s intertwined hand.
“I… I just want…” Su Xi felt the softness on the back of her hand. The wet tear stains were so stinging that her eyes were sore. She was like a punctured balloon that had suddenly deflated. Her voice was laced with a cry, as if she were a child who had done something wrong.
“I just want to keep Zhiyan. It won’t be long… I won’t be like this to Zhiyan forever. You’ll be free soon.”
“But drinking the medicine directly is too bitter. I can’t drink it.”
“Then we’ll switch to capsules like before. I’m sorry. I was just too angry before.” Su Xi looked at Su Yu with a deep apology. She unconsciously shortened the distance between them, her eyes glowing faintly, her hot breath brushing past his ear. “Zhiyan, will you lie to me again?”
Su Yu did not evade. His clear and moist eyes were filled with the girl’s image. He clearly didn’t have much strength, but he still shook his head. “I won’t.”
Su Xi curved her eyes. The other party’s statement seemed to have dispelled her suspicions. “Alright then. Let’s get ready to celebrate my birthday.”
“Yeah, we should celebrate properly.”
…
They stayed up until the evening, waiting for the clear blue sky to be smudged with a few drops of thick ink, turning into a rich, inky color that slowly spread across the sky. When the surroundings were completely dark, they drew the curtains to create a birthday atmosphere.
The cake for the celebration was prepared by Su Xi in advance. What surprised Su Yu a little was that Su Xi, a girl who had a special fondness for beautiful and pretty things, had prepared for herself a birthday cake that was just an ordinary cupcake from a cake shop, which could at most be considered a daily snack.
She seemed to have specially asked the clerk to add an extra layer of milk foam. A bright red, tender strawberry was placed in the middle of the small cupcake, and a very thin birthday candle was inserted into the cake. It looked a little shabby on the large dining table.
“A cupcake? Is that okay?”
“It’s enough. Any more would be a waste.”
Su Xi smiled and shook her head. She lit the candle, and the faint candlelight pushed back a little of the darkness. The warm yellow flame flickered slightly, and the faint shadow accentuated the girl’s increasingly sweet and moving appearance as time passed. She was no longer the ugly duckling who needed to use cosmetics to cover her flaws and flee in panic in front of the boy she admired.
She was a year older. This was her eighteenth birthday.
“Happy birthday to me… happy birthday to me… happy birthday to me…”
The girl held up the cheap cupcake and hummed a strange-toned birthday song. It had lost its joy… and for some reason, it made one’s heart feel as if it were being squeezed by a hand.
Her face was hidden in the flickering candlelight, and her expression was unclear. A hazy halo rippled, and her slender and thick eyelashes were dyed a faint crimson, but it could not enter her deep and dark pupils. The darkness extinguished the flickering candlelight in her eyes.
“Phew…”
Su Xi gently exhaled, and the small candlelight could not withstand a single bit of destruction. It struggled for a moment, and the scattered, weak sparks slowly disappeared into the air.
Su Yu watched as the candlelight in his eyes dissipated without any warning. He was in a daze in the sudden darkness.
He was about to speak when a soft and delicate body pressed against him.
“Zhiyan…”
A moist and hot breath rushed into his ear canal, as if it had taken control of his body, robbing him of his already little strength, and he numbly fell under the other party’s control.
The girl’s long, slender eyelashes rested on Su Yu’s forehead, a faint tickling sensation. Her entire body was curled up in Su Yu’s arms, her lips pressed against his forehead, and a trail of wet water marks slid down his high nose. A faint and suppressed moan escaped from the other party’s throat, stirring his restless fantasies, and his chest burned with a swelling fullness.
The girl seemed to be completely aware of every reaction of his body. She had suddenly lost her vision, and her sensitivity to touch had increased exponentially. The other party had immediately sensed his increasingly hot desire.
No resistance, even compliance.
Su Yu’s closed lips slowly parted. He couldn’t shake off the girl’s restraint. His body was stiff and he didn’t dare to move, but he could clearly feel the other party’s small movements—enticing, stirring. Those movements had shed their youthful awkwardness and had become deliberate, skillful, and seductive.
He was deeply attracted and was on the verge of becoming a slave to desire. But he was also bound by morality and was trapped in a baseless struggle.
“Xiao Xi… when was your first birthday…”
Su Yu tried to distract the girl, so he tried to ask. But his slightly panting, clear and moist voice only further proved his current predicament.
The girl’s hands stopped for a few seconds, and she didn’t give him an answer.
Su Yu thought the girl hadn’t heard him clearly and was about to speak again, but his lips were bitten by a softness, and his voice was completely blocked in the fortress the girl had built.
The sweet and greasy milky fragrance filled the air, pulling at his sense of smell, as if it were a tangible substance, enveloping him. It was as if the creamy cupcake on the table had been forcefully stuffed into his mouth.
A faint, sizzling sound of water was heard in the darkness. The body temperature broke through the ambiguous boundary, and a vibrant spring atmosphere slowly spread.
