Chapter 48: Darkness
The taxi finally stopped on an unknown street in the city center. Exquisite modern buildings stood tall along the way, and the dazzling and gaudy neon lights lit up the night. The street was bustling with people.
The street was as crowded as a woven cloth. The pedestrians’ clothes were getting lighter and lighter, as if it were summer in the blink of an eye. The crowd was surging on the bustling street, as if it were in a slow-motion shot that had been stretched very long.
Su Yu’s gaze was a little dazed as he merged into the noisy crowd. He was like being in a dangerous quicksand. The more he struggled, the deeper he sank. One day, it would cover his body, and he would be completely buried, and all he would see was darkness.
The freedom he had longed for had been obtained a little too easily, so much so that when he held it, a vast sense of confusion arose. He had been thinking for a long time in the taxi, but he couldn’t find a place to go. His former friends or relatives probably didn’t want to see a person who had already said goodbye to them at a funeral appear in front of them like an undead ghost.
A person had died twice in a row. He couldn’t figure out whether it was good luck or pain for a moment. But who could give him another chance to be reborn?
It seemed that there was nowhere to go. Su Yu had been thinking for a long time and had gotten this almost-cruel answer.
He still walked numbly for a long time, shaking off the bustling and lively long street behind him. The lights and wine gradually faded away and were hidden in the deep darkness of the alley. Only the old streetlights above his head were buzzing. A long and thin black shadow was cast in the dim light. He was walking with his back bent, his baseball cap covering his eyes, as if he were being pressed down by a heavy desolation and couldn’t raise his head.
There was a very old and dilapidated food street near the entrance of the alley. The grease that had accumulated over the years was piled up on the wall near the exhaust fan. The dim yellow grease was so thick that it was almost black, as if a bucket of thick black ink had been poured on the wall. The gradually cooling evening wind brushed against his face, and the exhaust fan, which was covered with dim yellow grease, was turning weakly.
The food street was mainly for the students nearby. There were almost no customers at eleven or twelve o’clock at night. Many of the shops had turned off their lights, and more than half of the long row of stir-fry shops were closed. A few of them were still lit with poor-quality incandescent lights, and they were busy cleaning up the shop and preparing the ingredients for the next day.
A very harsh and ear-piercing friction sound suddenly attracted his somewhat slow attention. An old man was stretching his bent arm and using a long hook in his hand to pull down the rusty hanging retractable door above his head. His movements were a little difficult.
It was a very old convenience store. Adults would come here to buy some cigarettes and alcohol for convenience, and children would be thinking about the small toys on the shelves and the candy in the cabinet.
Su Yu stopped and stared blankly on the side, not saying a word. He stared at the glass cabinet, which was filled with densely packed cigarettes. There was a landline phone on it, which was almost rarely seen. It was dark blue… and it was particularly conspicuous in the darkness.
He slowly walked towards the convenience store. The old man with sparse hair had his back to him. A few gray and white hairs were drooping on his forehead as if they were on their last legs. The old man didn’t notice him at all. He was struggling to pull the retractable door with a hook. But it seemed that the axle was stuck, and he couldn’t pull it no matter how hard he tried. When he got closer, he could even hear the old man’s rapid panting.
“Sir, let me help you.”
The old man paused his movements. He seemed to not believe his somewhat malfunctioning hearing. He turned around hesitantly and only then did he realize that there was really a young man standing next to him.
He squinted his eyes and looked at the well-dressed young man in front of him in the dim streetlight. The old man was really old. He had age spots on his face, and the loose flesh on his forehead was piled up. The belly of his yellowish-white tank top was also unhealthily bloated.
“Oh, young man, why are you still wandering around outside so late? Hurry up and go back. I’m used to it.”
The old man subconsciously thought that Su Yu was also one of those hooligans from the nearby schools who would always come here to buy cigarettes on credit. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have such long hair and a small braid, and he wouldn’t be out so late at night. But then he thought that those bad students wouldn’t be so kind as to help him pull the iron door. He was relieved and spoke to Su Yu in a gentle tone with a local Qingchuan accent.
“I want… I want to use the phone. Is that okay?”
Su Yu pointed to the landline phone on the cabinet and asked pleadingly.
“Go ahead, go ahead. Finish your call quickly. I’m about to close up. I’m getting old and I can’t stay up late anymore. When I was young, I was even more handsome than you. A lot of girls were chasing after me.”
The old man seemed to have recalled his youth and was suddenly a little emotional. He put away the hook, and the iron door was hanging in mid-air, leaving Su Yu time to make a phone call.
Su Yu smiled and didn’t say anything. He stared at the phone that was pressed on the counter. The dark blue phone was stained with some sweat that had dried, leaving a stain. He picked it up without any disgust. His fingers were on the buttons, which had faded and the numbers were no longer clear. He couldn’t press them for a long time.
In this intelligent era of information explosion, the only thing that was novel was that very few people would lose their phones anymore. The phone book was all stored as data in the phone. Unless it was a very close relative, even very good friends would mostly not remember the other party’s phone number.
But he had lived for so long and had not been too close to that close relative. When he was at his most confused and helpless, a string of abrupt numbers suddenly appeared in his mind. He didn’t dare to stay for too long, worried that the old man would think he was here for fun. So he subconsciously pressed them out.
His finger paused on the last number for a moment. Su Yu suddenly realized what it meant to dial this number. He hadn’t expected that after all this, it would still be her.
The hesitation was only for a moment. Su Yu pressed the button, and the unique ringtone of a landline phone sounded on the other end of the receiver. It was eleven or twelve o’clock at night. He didn’t even know if the other party was asleep. His palm was uncontrollably sweating, and it was sticky on the phone.
Time flowed particularly slowly in the thick darkness. After summer began, the mosquitoes gradually became more numerous, and they were always buzzing annoyingly at night. The ringtone rang for a full time and then started to repeat. He almost didn’t miss a single note.
In a dim alley, people would subconsciously walk towards the streetlight. Even if the light was so dim that it was almost non-existent, it was still a glimmer of light. At least he could use that little bit of light to see the shadow behind him, to tell himself that he was still alive.
Click!
A sudden sound came from the receiver. His heart suddenly stopped at that moment. Then, the moment he heard the familiar voice that was almost etched in his mind, it began to beat wildly. The girl’s tone was always so light and thin, yet it was filled with a comfortable gentleness.
“Hello? Who is this?”
Su Yu opened his mouth wide, like a drowning person who had just been rescued. He was craving every breath of oxygen that could keep him alive. His vocal cords were trembling, but he couldn’t make a sound. There were too many words in his mind, and they were stuck in his throat and couldn’t get out.
Every sentence seemed to be very important, yet it also seemed so redundant.
What should he say?
Tell the girl that he was not dead yet, or ask her how she had been recently, and also ask about his sister, and whether she had any sequelae from her suicide attempt.
And also… and also…
But how could he say it? How could he tell others about this conspiracy that would lead to eternal damnation if he got involved?
A person who was about to drown would always grab anyone who came to save him. He was almost irrational, grabbing others to be buried with him, to be drowned together in the deep and dark sea.
Anyone who knew about such a conspiracy would go and investigate. And besides, the other party was studying law. This was her instinct to investigate. He would definitely get her killed. This was almost a bloody fact that was laid out in front of him.
The spear and the shield were fighting in his mind. His fingers, which were holding the phone, were white from the pressure, and not a single bit of blood could be seen.
The mosquitoes in his ear were buzzing incessantly, and they had completely covered the girl’s confused voice. Su Yu suddenly ruffled his hair in frustration. His long black hair was a mess. He was as if he had turned from that cold and clean young man into a disheveled tramp in the blink of an eye.
He was homeless, both physically and mentally.
“Hmm?”
The female voice on the other end confirmed again, as if she were about to hang up on him as a boring prank call.
“Qian Ge… I…”
“Beep beep beep…”
The phone was suddenly hung up. He had only said half of his sentence. The other party probably hadn’t heard a single word.
Su Yu’s mouth was half-open. The feeling of failure was not as sad as he had imagined. He actually felt a little relieved.
Someone patted him on the shoulder. Su Yu turned his head and looked at the old man’s dark old face. The other party sighed with deep sympathy, as if he had misunderstood. “Sigh, don’t be shy when you’re chasing a girl. You don’t even dare to make a sound when you’re on the phone. You’re a coward. When I was young, I was…”
“Hey, you’re right, sir. I’m just too timid.”
Su Yu forced a smile, which was a little ugly. He took out a few wrinkled bills from his pocket and handed the smallest one to the old man.
He didn’t dare to use it recklessly. He still needed a lot of money to take a black car that didn’t require an ID to leave Qingchuan. This escape seemed to have accomplished nothing. He didn’t have the courage to die. The most painful thing was that he had to continue to live. He couldn’t even imagine the days of living in anonymity in the future. It was inexplicably absurd and ridiculous.
“You didn’t even say two words. Why should I charge you? Just help me pull down the door.”
Su Yu pushed and shoved with the old man for a while. The corner of his eye suddenly caught a glimpse of a few people in black clothes and black pants who had suddenly appeared under the dim light of the streetlight in the distance. They were wearing baseball caps and black masks, and he could barely even tell their gender.
But he had recognized them at a glance. They were the men in black who had beaten the hooligans half to death in the abandoned warehouse that day. His heart pounded a few times, as if he had met some monster that was hidden in the night.
Su Yu no longer pushed and shoved with the old man. He even forcefully pushed the old man into the shop. The other party was cursing, and he couldn’t hear what he was saying. He was squeezed into the door by him. He pulled down the iron door, picked up the lock on the ground, and closed it. The iron door rattled from the inside for a while, but he didn’t care.
He almost turned his head and ran, using the darkness of the alley to hide his figure. Several of the streetlights in the alley were broken, and it was getting darker and darker as he went deeper. Until the last ray of light was swallowed, he buried his head and completely disappeared into the endless darkness.
