Chapter 93: Struggling, Tearing.
In the past, when faced with the docile and dependent Huai Xing, Chu Wantang had felt that she would never lose control in this relationship. She would always be at ease, always keeping Huai Xing by her side. She could not care about the past and let Huai Xing be hers alone, from body to heart.
…But that was only limited to “the past.”
In fact, the moment she had realized that Huai Xing had completely left, she had already lost control. Her emotions, her psychology, everything, was no longer within her control. It had been so hard to reunite with Huai Xing, and the mistakes she had made in the past had made it difficult for her to move forward. She had tried to put on a calm and self-possessed appearance on the surface, being ordinary friends with Huai Xing.
But a single, longed-for kiss could make her chew up her own dignity.
Her reason was like a soaked piece of paper, wrinkled and easily torn with a poke. The feeling of being unable to resist and out of control made her feel as if she were on a roller coaster without brakes. Even though she knew that she would be bruised and battered, her soul scattered, she still held on to the handrail and refused to let go.
She had no more chances, but there was so much she wanted to have.
At this moment, she was clearly holding Huai Xing, but she knew that she was not holding the Huai Xing of five years ago, who had been full of her.
Her tears fell due to gravity, and her nasal cavity was blocked again. She felt as if her bones had been removed, and it seemed that only by holding Huai Xing could she not fall.
She was clearly dressed exquisitely and had makeup on, but she looked extremely disheveled.
Huai Xing stood still, not hugging her back, but her gaze fell on the full-length mirror at the side.
There was a full-length mirror in the entryway. The mirror was large, clean, and clear. She looked at them at this moment in the mirror. The woman’s sad expression, her transparent tears, the hair that was sweeping across her, and so on, all entered her field of vision without a single mistake.
She had had such a perspective before, in the changing room of “Lan Ling,” when Chu Wantang had been taking her measurements. That was the first time she had been so scantily clad and had hugged Chu Wantang. Her heart had felt as if it were about to jump out of her throat, and she had had to press it down desperately so that Chu Wantang would not notice.
Now her heart was still beating very fast, and she also did not want Chu Wantang to notice, but her mood was no longer as bright and cheerful as before.
She slowly raised her hand and pressed it on Chu Wantang’s wrist, and gave her own answer in a low voice, “No.”
As soon as she said that, she could clearly feel Chu Wantang’s body stiffen. She turned her head slightly and no longer looked through the mirror. She stared at Chu Wantang’s moist long lashes, her lips pressed together for a moment, and then she said with a hint of apology, “The night before last was an accident. If you mind this, I apologize to you, okay? You also know that I’m on my period now, and hormones will affect one’s mood.”
“Accident…” Chu Wantang said, denying the word. “That was not an accident.”
Huai Xing was stunned for a moment, her breathing lightening.
This was also the reason she had been avoiding her these past two days. She shouldn’t have been so impulsive at that time. Hormones were really harmful. She was both afraid that Chu Wantang would remember and not be able to explain clearly, and also afraid that Chu Wantang would not remember and would pretend that it had never happened.
“How could I mind this?” Chu Wantang said, relaxing her arms. Her tear stains were shining in the light, and she said with a pained expression, “I’ll just take it as a gift from you, Xingxing.”
She raised her hand and used her fair fingertips to brush away her teetering tears, and gave Huai Xing a radiant smile. “I should be the one to apologize to you. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said such things at such a time.” Her nasal voice was hard to ignore, and her vision was still a little blurry. “Can you not go? I can’t eat all these dishes by myself. You’re my only friend here…”
“I won’t bring this up again either.”
Huai Xing’s unhesitating answer had nailed her.
In Huai Xing’s eyes, she didn’t even have the qualification to be a backup choice.
Thinking of the meal that Chu Wantang had personally cooked on the table, Huai Xing’s knuckles curled, and she nodded. “Okay.” She curled her lips into a smile. “It’s a housewarming dinner. We should finish it.”
Chu Wantang also smiled. “Mm.”
She bowed and stepped back. “But I have to go upstairs to deal with my face first. You can sit down first.”
“Okay.”
The two of them separated, as if what had just happened had never happened.
Huai Xing sat in her chair, watching Chu Wantang’s figure disappear on the second floor. She lowered her eyelids and fixed her gaze on the destination of Chu Wantang’s tears just now.
She was wearing a black T-shirt today, a pure cotton fabric, and the water stains were very well covered.
But that teardrop was like a red-hot iron, branded on the surface of her skin, so hot that her bones trembled, and it burned a scar.
A few seconds later, she picked up her glass and swallowed her drink.
Why wasn’t it a peach-flavored fruit wine?
After the small interlude on the weekend, Huai Xing threw herself into her work. She could clearly feel the subtle atmosphere between her and Chu Wantang.
When they had meetings with Chu Wantang, their gazes would meet very calmly. In others’ eyes, they were really just a temporary superior-subordinate relationship.
She had never run into Chu Wantang in the pantry again, and even things like getting coffee were done by Mo Mo. After work, she also did not see Chu Wantang’s figure at the top of the stairs. On Wednesday afternoon, she had specially looked at the design team’s office. It was empty outside, and the other designers had already gotten off work.
In the director’s office inside, there was still a figure hunched over a desk.
She retracted her gaze and lifted her foot to go downstairs.
She just thought that it was because the design team’s task was very heavy, so Chu Wantang was so busy that she was drawing, reviewing, discussing, and communicating every day, and even working overtime.
But she was also very familiar with this situation…
She and Chu Wantang had had a cold war for a period of time in the past, and it was a similar scene.
At that time, they were still under the same roof, and she could hardly see Chu Wantang’s figure, let alone now that they were separated by three floors.
Time flowed like water, pouring over the brand on her shoulder.
Soon, it was Friday afternoon. Huai Xing and her three friends went to Yunqi Yuan.
Yunqi Yuan was about an hour and a half’s drive from the city center. They had booked the “Mountain Rain” resort hotel under the Junling Group. Originally, Lu Xianyue had wanted to book a large suite with three bedrooms and one living room, so that the four of them could live together. But this suggestion had been rejected by Huai Xing.
Huai Xing: “I don’t want to be a third wheel.”
Lu Xianyue hummed lightly. “We’ll close the door very tightly. Don’t worry.”
“That’s not the problem.”
“Then what’s the problem?” Lu Xianyue said, flipping through and remembering that Wen Shiwei had liked Huai Xing before. After she had finished asking, she said again without waiting for Huai Xing’s answer, “Are you going to stay in a suite with my sister? The kind with a master and a guest bedroom.”
Huai Xing shook her head. “Sister Suisui and I will each have a room.”
“Then that’s three rooms.”
“Mm.”
Lu Xianyue had also asked for Lu Zhenyue’s opinion and had gotten the same answer, so she did not insist.
So the group of four set off from “Silk Season.” Including the traffic jam time, it was almost eight o’clock when they arrived at Yunqi Yuan, and then they checked in.
Yunqi Yuan was far from the hustle and bustle of the city. The temperature was comfortable, and the air was fresh and pleasant. It was a natural oxygen bar.
It was surrounded by a large area of lush green mountains and forests. At night, the streetlights shone on this area, and you could see groups of two or three people walking on the wide road under the trees.
On the first night they arrived at Yunqi Yuan, Huai Xing and the others had dinner and strolled around nearby.
But no matter how cool it was here, it was still summer, and there were many mosquitoes in the mountains.
She had sprayed the mosquito repellent she had brought on all four of them, but after she returned to the hotel, she still found that she had been bitten a few times, and it was a little itchy.
After taking a shower, she looked at the four-person group chat. Lu Zhenyue had sent a photo. She had also been bitten by a mosquito on her neck.
Lu Xianyue: [So miserable. I was also bitten by a mosquito.]
The next second, she showed the hickey on her collarbone.
Wen Shiwei: [Xiao Xian, you sent the wrong photo.]
Lu Zhenyue: [?]
Huai Xing: [?]
Lu Xianyue: [Ahhh!]
Huai Xing couldn’t help but laugh. She lifted the comforter and sat up at the head of the bed, took out the jade comb she had brought, and opened her Moments as she stroked it.
After much thought, she posted the pretty good photos that the few of them had taken tonight on her Moments.
Ten minutes, half an hour passed, and she still hadn’t received a like from Chu Wantang. Her brows couldn’t help but furrow, and she opened her chat with Chu Wantang again.
In the past few days, Chu Wantang’s robot-like messages had not come again. Had she not been drinking water properly, so she didn’t dare to send them to her, this supervisor?
Her thoughts were in a mess. She looked at their conversation that had been paused a week ago and irritably got under the covers.
…
The next day, Huai Xing and the others drove to a natural scenic area ten kilometers away from Yunqi Yuan. There were waterfalls, streams, and strange peaks and rocks. Tourists who came here for vacation would almost always come here to experience hiking, rock climbing, and other outdoor activities.
In order to distract herself, Huai Xing participated very actively and even competed with others in rock climbing. But she had been slacking off on her exercise recently, so she didn’t have the ability to win first place.
But her friends were very supportive. They took pictures for her outside the yellow line and also applauded her.
Lu Xianyue, this social terrorist, even took the opportunity to say, “Happy birthday, Xiao Xing!”
So when other passersby heard this, they all wished Huai Xing, “Happy birthday!”
The sound of blessings was incessant.
“Thanks,” Huai Xing said, clasping her hands together in thanks, and took off her safety equipment to walk closer to her friends.
She asked Lu Xianyue with a smile, “You did that on purpose, right?”
Lu Xianyue hid behind Wen Shiwei and pulled her own sister at the side. “Sister, save me.”
Lu Zhenyue handed Huai Xing a water bottle. “Happy every day, Xiao Xing.”
Huai Xing nodded. “You too, Sister Suisui.”
It wasn’t until dusk that they returned from the scenic area and had dinner at a restaurant near the hotel.
After the dishes were served, Lu Xianyue was flipping through the photos they had taken today and muttered, “I should have brought my camera. I could have filmed a vlog. It’s so inconvenient to hold a phone.”
Wen Shiwei put food in her bowl and smiled. “It’s also very good. We’ll come again in the future. I’ll definitely remind you to bring it next time.”
“Okay, okay.” It was good to have a future.
Huai Xing and Lu Zhenyue, who were sitting opposite them, exchanged a look and smiled at the same time.
“It seems our decision to come out this time was very right,” Lu Xianyue said, putting down her phone and picking up her chopsticks. “I just received a weather forecast push. There will be a thunderstorm in Haicheng late tonight.”
“…A thunderstorm?” Huai Xing caught the keyword. She hadn’t looked at the weather forecast much since the plum rain season was over.
Lu Xianyue: “That’s right.”
Lu Zhenyue turned her head. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Huai Xing said, shaking her head. “Will it still be raining tomorrow?”
“No. It will be clear again when we go back tomorrow. The weather in summer is more fickle than my temper,” Lu Xianyue answered.
Wen Shiwei: “Not that often. There are more thunderstorms in Jingcheng in July and August.”
The topic of the weather was turned over. After eating and returning to the hotel room to take a shower, Huai Xing came to the viewing balcony. She had protected herself very well before she went out today and had not given the mosquitoes a chance to bite her, but she still felt a little uncomfortable.
She looked at the night sky of Yunqi Yuan. The night here was like a piece of Xuan paper soaked in ink, slowly spreading out among the mountains.
The evening breeze passed through the forest without a whistling sound, but with a sigh like a wisp of silk.
Huai Xing listened to the sigh of the wind, opened the weather forecast, and her brows furrowed. The lightning symbol appeared at eleven at night, and the next few hours were all marked with heavy rain.
The image of Chu Wantang on the rainy night on Ningxi Road flashed through her mind.
Chu Wantang, who was like a small mushroom on the side of the road, and Chu Wantang, who had held her wrist tightly when a clap of thunder had flashed by after they had gotten in the car.
So, it wasn’t because the car had broken down that she was scared, right?
The one who was afraid of thunder had always been Chu Wantang, but the woman was very proud and did not want to show her fragile side in front of her. So every time, she would hug her and accompany her on the grounds of being worried about her.
Every “don’t be afraid” she had said to her was actually also said to herself.
A strange city, all alone.
Would she be more scared, flustered, and uneasy?
Huai Xing closed her eyes, her temples throbbing. She tried her best to suppress the thought that was about to break out of her heart. The brand on her shoulder seemed to have just been invisible these past few days, not completely disappeared.
At this moment, it was on the surface of her skin again.
Struggling, tearing.
Her chest seemed to be filled with balloons, about to burst and blow her up.
She should have known not to have kept Chu Wantang in Haicheng on the grounds of “interests.” She really didn’t want to be entangled with Chu Wantang, but she couldn’t hide or ignore the concern that was faintly revealed in her heart.
She unlocked her phone and sent a message to Chu Wantang, breaking the stalemate between them. [Have you not been drinking water recently?]
Huai Xing’s lips were pressed together tightly, and she stared at the chat box.
The note status did not change to “the other party is typing…” Five minutes, ten minutes passed, and the message still had not been replied to.
The wind suddenly grew stronger, and a low roar came from the mountain forest. The sound of the leaves also quickened its rhythm.
Huai Xing felt a little cold, and her brows never relaxed.
After waiting for another two minutes, she stood up and left the viewing balcony, changed into her usual clothes, and took her car keys out of the hotel room.
She was going back to the city to get Lu Xianyue’s camera.
