After Filming a WLW Movie With My Straight Girl Crush 37

Chapter 37

As for getting some air, the hot and humid air outside was far less pleasant than the air inside the hotel. Where could she go to get some air? Chang Ning could see that Qin Cong’an was going to find Xu Ling.

Qin Cong’an stood at the restroom door, not even pretending to look at her phone, just waiting for Xu Ling.

Yi Huai tidied herself up in the mirror and came out first. Seeing Qin Cong’an, she was startled.

“Where’s Xu Ling?”

“She’s inside.”

“You left her alone?” Qin Cong’an frowned.

Her tone was cold and fierce, which stunned Yi Huai. She replied, “She’s fine.”

How could she be fine? Qin Cong’an had seen that Xu Ling could barely walk straight just now. What if she slipped in the restroom? What if she hit her head?

Just as Qin Cong’an was about to go in, she saw Xu Ling come out. At least at that moment, Xu Ling was moving freely.

The moment their eyes met, Xu Ling’s expression froze. Then her gaze shifted away from Qin Cong’an, and she walked over to Yi Huai, grabbing her arm and slurring, “Sister Huai…”

Yi Huai also couldn’t quite figure Xu Ling out. If she were drunk, she could walk a straight line. When she had offered to go in with her, she had been refused. If she weren’t drunk, then why was she slurring her words and her eyes unfocused?

Qin Cong’an watched them walk back to the banquet hall, her feet feeling as if they were filled with lead, so heavy she couldn’t lift them. What did Xu Ling mean? Was she pretending to be drunk to avoid her?

Her heart instantly turned half-cold. Why? Everything had been fine this afternoon. To be precise, everything had been fine before the wrap.

At this moment, it was as if Xu Ling had drawn a barrier between them and was reinforcing it bit by bit.

Was she angry? But this wasn’t how Xu Ling was when she was angry. She wouldn’t express her anger in this way. She had repeatedly told her not to be like this… but what if it was all fake? What if every second she had spent with her was fake?

Something was collapsing, bit by bit. Qin Cong’an’s impression of Xu Ling had returned to how it was at the very beginning.

Qin Cong’an was a very guarded person.

She didn’t trust people easily, didn’t get too close to them, always kept her distance, even with her family.

Before filming for She and Her and the Knife began, Qin Cong’an had done some research on Xu Ling, trying to understand why Chang Ning would choose a newcomer to act opposite her.

It wasn’t that Qin Cong’an looked down on newcomers. It was just her habit, to prevent any possible accidents.

And the result was simple. Xu Ling’s family was middle class. She had gone abroad to study fashion design, entered the industry as a fashion model, and had some fame in the fashion circle but had not yet reached world-renowned status. She had no remarkable background. It seemed Chang Ning had chosen her simply because she felt she was a good fit.

That night Xu Ling came to find her was an accident that Qin Cong’an had never imagined.

Of course, her instincts told her it was strange, but Xu Ling was too beautiful, and her eyes, when she looked at her, shone with something that made her chest tremble…

Qin Cong’an still remembered the first time she had seen Xu Ling, at an event. That day, she had sensed a gaze and had looked over, and just like that, she had seen Xu Ling. She was wearing a long, form-fitting rose-red gown, utterly flamboyant. The red suited her, so bright it made it impossible to see anyone else.

She had immediately memorized this unfamiliar face. And this beautiful face was now saying she wanted to sleep with her, and had even found a good reason for it—for the sake of a smooth shoot.

She didn’t know what came over her, but Qin Cong’an made a decision that even she found incredible: she actually agreed.

Afterward, she felt a little regretful. She had also become the kind of person who slept with a fellow cast member.

In this industry, even if she didn’t want to know, she had heard of many ugly incidents that had resulted from such affairs.

Qin Cong’an knew she should be more cautious. She had many endorsements. If something happened, her losses would be severe. She shouldn’t have so easily agreed to do this with Xu Ling.

Maybe Xu Ling had ill intentions. Maybe she was here to ruin her. Maybe she had taken photos of her while she was asleep, ready to post them online at any moment.

Qin Cong’an once again carefully went through all of Xu Ling’s social media and found nothing unusual, just many photos with beautiful women.

She found her WeChat in the group chat and clicked on it but couldn’t see her Moments. She didn’t add her with her main account, worried that she would screenshot their chat and post it.

Qin Cong’an created a new side account to add her and finally saw her Moments. She hadn’t blocked her, had no reservations. The content she posted was also very normal. She had many friends and loved to go out.

Amidst these worries, Qin Cong’an slept with Xu Ling several more times. Sometimes Xu Ling initiated it, and sometimes she did.

The first time could be considered an impulse. What about the second, the third, the many times after? Qin Cong’an felt she was starting to like her.

Qin Cong’an had been observing Xu Ling. It seemed she was hiding something, but it didn’t seem like she meant to harm her. Xu Ling was very well-behaved, and the way she looked at her always made her defenses crumble.

Gradually, Qin Cong’an stopped suspecting Xu Ling of anything, believing that she had no ill intentions, believing that she wouldn’t backstab her. She felt sorry for her own speculations about her.

The only thing she worried about later was that Xu Ling might not like her, just liked sleeping with her. But that was okay too. Relationships that started from the physical also existed.

Qin Cong’an confirmed that she had fallen for her, and at the same time, was willing to believe that she also liked her.

She had acted in romance scenes before but had never felt what it was like to be in love. It was incredible. She even thought about the future.

And at this moment, Qin Cong’an didn’t understand.

As soon as the filming wrapped, Xu Ling had completely changed. Even the light in her eyes when she looked at her was gone.

Qin Cong’an couldn’t figure it out. Could she really be, as she had claimed at the beginning, just doing it for the sake of the film? Then why, after they had finished filming the ambiguous scenes, did she still come to find her every day, insisting on sleeping in her arms, as if she couldn’t sleep otherwise?

So her worries were right? Was Xu Ling just lonely on set and looking for someone to sleep with, and wanted to cut ties with her after the wrap?

It didn’t have to be her; it could have been Gu Qi or anyone else? Or what? What was it?

Qin Cong’an returned to the banquet hall. The turmoil in her heart made her want to drink too, but seeing that Xu Ling had already drunk a lot, she still didn’t touch a drop.

Xu Ling had been pretending to be drunk just now, but if she kept drinking like this, she would eventually get drunk for real.

Qin Cong’an desperately wanted to have a good talk with her, to ask about everything clearly, but she felt powerless. Her urgency was all blocked out by Xu Ling.

Xu Ling didn’t leave Yi Huai’s side for a single step. She had even unconsciously changed seats, moving far away from her. Even though she seemed really drunk, she still held onto Yi Huai, as if in her muddled state, only Yi Huai was worthy of her trust.

The party broke up. Everyone went upstairs to rest. Some were in a hurry to get off work and caught a late-night flight back. Some were waiting to leave the next day. And some wanted to stay and play in Mist City for a while. After all, they had been here for several months, but it had all been work. It would be a pity not to have really experienced the city.

Qin Cong’an followed Xu Ling, who was hanging onto Yi Huai, into the same elevator.

Yi Huai felt an invisible pressure and would occasionally glance at Qin Cong’an. She wasn’t looking over, but her expression was unusually dark.

Qin Cong’an usually had a cold expression, which made people who met her for the first time think she was difficult to get along with. But after getting to know her, they would realize she was actually just very calm. But at this moment, it wasn’t like that. Her expression was calm, but the pressure around her was extremely low.

Lin Xinnuo was even more like a quail, shrinking in the back, not daring to move.

The elevator doors opened. Qin Cong’an got out first but stopped at the door of Xu Ling’s room.

Yi Huai, supporting Xu Ling, walked to the door and glanced at the cold-faced Qin Cong’an. She took the room key from Xu Ling’s pocket and opened the door.

After opening the door, Yi Huai said to Qin Cong’an, “You must be tired too. Go get some rest.”

“Xu Ling.” Qin Cong’an ignored her and pulled Xu Ling’s arm, only to be swatted away as if by a drunkard.

Xu Ling was already practically hanging onto Yi Huai. Now, she was like a rogue, hugging Yi Huai tightly, refusing to let go, as if she were the only one she wanted.

Yi Huai quickly said, “Thank you for taking care of Xu Ling when she fainted before. You don’t have to trouble yourself today. I’ll take care of it. Thank you for your hard work. Happy wrap. Please take care of us during the upcoming promotional activities.”

Qin Cong’an said nothing, her eyes fixed on Xu Ling.

If Xu Ling were really so drunk she was unconscious, there was no way Yi Huai could support a person nearly 1.8 meters tall so easily. Xu Ling was clearly supporting part of her own weight. She wasn’t drunk, at least not as drunk as she was acting.

Qin Cong’an stood at the door, watching with a blank expression as the door was closed.

Lin Xinnuo, standing to the side, was almost scared to tears. In the car on the way back to the hotel, she had seen Sister An with a happy expression. Now, she was exuding a cold aura, her eyes red, and it was clear she could barely suppress her anger.

Lin Xinnuo had been Qin Cong’an’s assistant for two years and had never seen her truly angry. But her aura was already strong enough. Even though she was nice to her, she sometimes felt intimidated. Now, it could be described as terrifying.

Qin Cong’an stood there for a long while before walking towards her own room.

Lin Xinnuo followed her. At the door, she was glanced at. She quickly said, “Sister Quan asked me to help pack.”

“No need.” Qin Cong’an opened the door and walked in.

“Sister!” Lin Xinnuo called out anxiously. “Remember, the flight is at 9:05 in the morning!”

The door slammed shut.

Qin Cong’an leaned against the back of the door, taking a long time to barely calm down. But her heart still felt as if it were being squeezed tightly. She suddenly understood again what it meant to be crushed by the ruthless forces of the universe.

She walked into the room, her legs feeling as if they weren’t her own, weighing a thousand pounds. She went into the bedroom, planning to get Xu Ling’s room key and, after calculating that Yi Huai had probably left, go find her.

But, it wasn’t there.

The room key was gone.

Qin Cong’an usually kept it on the nightstand or in the cabinet, but it was nowhere to be found. She started to search all her pockets, and even flipped through The Dark Room to see if it was tucked inside. Nothing.

She had always been very careful with her things. It could be said that she had never lost anything in her life. So there could only be one possibility.

Her mind was a mess, yet she clearly remembered a moment.

Xu Ling had said, “I’m going to the restroom too. You can go first.”

At that time, Qin Cong’an hadn’t thought anything was unusual. Looking back now, Xu Ling had probably taken the room key then.

After that, they filmed the scene of riding a motorcycle by the river together, feeling the wind together, eating croquettes together. Xu Ling had said many times that she was so happy.

After returning to the hotel, they had kept at it until dawn. When they kissed, she had even cried.

Qin Cong’an had kissed her tears for a long time. At that time, Xu Ling had held her so tightly, so very tightly. Even now, Qin Cong’an could feel the burning pain on her back.

But after the final shoot of the day, Xu Ling had suddenly let go.

Qin Cong’an really didn’t understand what all of this meant, what Xu Ling was thinking. If it was just for the sake of the film, if it was just out of loneliness and a desire for sex, then why would she cry, why would she show reluctance to part?

Her chest was completely cold, and even the sweat on her body was cold.

Qin Cong’an’s family often told her not to close herself off, but when she was in a bad mood, she was still used to being alone.

Xu Ling had also said it wasn’t good for her to ignore people when she was angry, had said it several times. Qin Cong’an had listened.

She changed out of her sweat-soaked clothes, planning to change into a dry set and go knock on Xu Ling’s door. But as she casually pulled a shirt from the closet, she saw a corner of bright, watery blue, like a clear lake.

There was no way Qin Cong’an would have clothes of this color. She unfolded it and saw that it was indeed Xu Ling’s.

In an instant, she felt like she could breathe again. Qin Cong’an even checked her own clothes and found that a short-sleeved shirt was missing. It must have been taken by Xu Ling.

Good, good. Their connection wasn’t completely severed.

Maybe she had just misunderstood. Maybe today was the wrap, and Xu Ling was so happy she had gotten drunk. Although she had drunk so much she seemed not to see her, it was okay.

Qin Cong’an folded the watery blue sleeveless tank top and placed it by her pillow. She started to tidy up the closet. In the midst of the repetitive, mechanical movements, she calmed down.

After packing her suitcase, Qin Cong’an took a shower and climbed into bed, planning to sleep for a while. She set an alarm. As soon as the sun came up, she would go find Xu Ling.

When she was woken up by the sound of a WeChat call, Qin Cong’an found that she was clutching that patch of watery blue. Her chest suddenly tightened, and she quickly answered the phone.

Qin Cong’an had gotten used to only switching to her main WeChat account when she was with Xu Ling. The rest of the time, she was logged into this side account. The only person who could be calling was Xu Ling.

“Xu Ling,” Qin Cong’an said urgently after answering.

“Mhm.” The voice on the other end was muffled, she didn’t know if it was because of the alcohol or because she had been crying, but her tone was calm. “Qin Cong’an.”

Tears hit the back of her hand. Qin Cong’an lowered her eyes, watching the tears slide down her hand and onto the watery blue tank top, spreading into a dark stain. She was stunned for a moment, and then the incessant flow of tears suddenly stopped because of the words from the other end.

“Thank you for this time.”

Xu Ling said, “It’s finally over. Finally.”

Finally… what does that mean? Have you been waiting for this day to end all along? Are you finally free?

Have you been in agony since the first day? Was it really just a “sacrifice” for art? Are you saying thank you because the filming went smoothly?

Or do you actually like me, but you just can’t forget your ex?

You pretended to be drunk to avoid me, to not face me, and in the end, you say goodbye like this?

Your clothes are still here. Don’t you want them?

Qin Cong’an knew her heart had grown cold. These questions flashed through her mind, but she no longer cared about the answers.

There was only one fact: Xu Ling was going to throw her away.

It took all of Qin Cong’an’s strength to suppress the surging emotions, but she almost had no strength left to speak. She only spat out one icy word: “Get lost.”

She immediately hung up the phone, tossed it onto the headboard, and the piece of Xu Ling’s clothing in her hand was also thrown to the floor.

Her chest was tight and uncomfortable, and something was churning in her stomach. Qin Cong’an retched, quickly got out of bed, but her limbs were weak, and she fell to the floor.

She had never been so pathetic. If it weren’t for a sliver of instinct not to get herself dirty, she would have really thrown up on herself.

Qin Cong’an looked at her own face in the mirror. It was swollen and ugly. Why was she crying like this? She knew she didn’t want to part. She didn’t want her to get lost.

After cleaning her mouth and face, Qin Cong’an dried her wet hair, trying to make herself look less scary. She had to go find Xu Ling. She walked to the door, then remembered the bread she had bought for her in the fridge, and went back to get it.

She regretted it, okay? She apologized, okay? She didn’t really want her to get lost.

Qin Cong’an knocked on the door, but there was no answer. She pounded on the door, but there was still no movement.

Her pounding was so loud that the person next door was disturbed and came out. It was the actress who had said she was going downstairs to buy something, the one she had run into twice.

“Are you looking for Xu Ling, Teacher Qin?”

“Mhm.”

“I just saw her leave with her luggage when I was coming upstairs. She said she had to catch the earliest flight and was going to the airport.”

Everyone at the wrap party had seen Xu Ling drink a lot of wine and get wasted. So when she saw her leave before dawn, looking in a terrible state, she had been startled.

“…Are you okay?”

“Mhm, I’m fine, thank you. Sorry for waking you up.” Qin Cong’an walked over and handed her the bag of bread. “I saw a long line at this shop on the way back to the hotel this afternoon. I thought it must be good. I bought too much, so I’m sharing with you.”

“Ah, oh…? Thank you, Teacher Qin.” It was the first time the girl had heard Qin Cong’an say so much to her, and she even had a smile on her face that she had never seen before. But she looked as if her soul had left her body, her face pale, her eyes a little swollen.

Qin Cong’an shook her head, and finally, the corners of her mouth lifted into a curve. She returned to her own room.

Oh, so this was what it felt like to be so sad. She understood. In the future, when she had to act out a character’s pain, she could do it with ease.

Another life experience gained. Very good. Thank you, Xu Ling.