Overly Intense [Criminal Investigation] 85p1

Chapter 85 p1: Regret Is an Emotion That Shouldn’t Be

Her palms were sweating, and her heart was still palpitating. The white T-shirt she was wearing was like a vine wrapped around her body, pricking her skin with a slight burning sensation. Her anxiety had become so obvious that it was physical. She realized that she was having a panic attack.

The last time this had happened was on the anniversary of her mother’s death. She had spilled coffee on the way to the cemetery, and the brown stain had dyed her T-shirt. Later, when she had gotten home, she had vomited in the toilet for a long time.

In all her years of living with mysophobia, she understood its invasion. She also knew that from a medical perspective, it was just an abnormal activation of the amygdala, a failure of the prefrontal cortex to regulate, and a physiological reaction of difficulty breathing caused by psychological stimulation.

In the past, she had always been able to handle these stress reactions very well.

For example, she would anticipate possible situations in advance and use her consciousness to intervene in her behavior.

Lu Shimao had also borrowed her clothes before. She would comfort herself that the other was clean, that this person was safe. After disinfecting them and putting them in the closet for a period of time, the sense of insecurity would be forgotten with the passage of time.

But she couldn’t guarantee that the assistant director who had stayed at Qin Luo’s house was clean.

She remembered that the last time in the restroom, a piece of acrylic on You Ning’s work pass had been broken, and she had just stuck a piece of transparent tape on it, and had been planning to move into Qin Luo’s river view room.

The burrs on the edge of the tape had pierced her skin. It was the breath she couldn’t swallow at this moment.

Shen Yiyi leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes.

She really couldn’t imagine how You Ning would have spent a night at Qin Luo’s house… Qin Luo had said that her house had no guest room. Last time, they had woken up in each other’s arms. She didn’t know how You Ning had woken up.

Perhaps she hadn’t given up yet. Shen Yiyi opened her eyes and enlarged the picture again. She covered You Ning and the white T-shirt with her hand and looked at the indoor environment through the balcony glass door.

There was no sign of Qin Luo in the blurry background. There were no clothes thrown around on the sofa. There was just a familiar mug on the table.

The mug she had analyzed, it seemed to have found its user.

…She clicked her mouse a couple of times and quickly exited the web page. She typed You Ning’s name into the search engine and pressed enter.

Sure enough, it was not much different from her profile. You Ning was a young person with very good business skills. She also looked energetic, worked in a field related to art, could understand and empathize with Qin Luo’s writing inspiration, and could provide emotional support for Qin Luo. And her family background was also good. She had gone directly into the entertainment industry after studying abroad. Her life could be described as smooth sailing.

For Qin Luo, she was a good choice.

Shen Yiyi flipped through the documents on the table again. The victim in front of her had a connection with Qin Luo, a channel that could be contacted.

She knew that all the choices she could hesitate on now were opportunities to turn back.

But she didn’t call Qin Luo. Instead, she took the documents and went to find Director Hong.

“Change me to another group. I have too much on my plate.”

Director Hong asked, “What else do you have on your plate now?”

“The competition, the Institute of Criminal Science, and that live stream case. The workload is too heavy. I can’t handle it.” She refused stiffly.

Her tone was cold, revealing her impatience with work. Director Hong noticed his subordinate’s emotional problem, pushed up his glasses, and stood up, pulling her to the sofa to sit.

He was not in a hurry and poured a cup of hot tea for Shen Yiyi. “Have some water first.”

“Is it because Little Lin is not good enough? Then I’ll transfer Little Wang over to help you. If you say you can’t handle it, I can’t find anyone else to take over. Besides, the case was assigned to you by the system. If we change it again, we’ll have to go through the whole process again, and we don’t have time.” Director Hong really had no one else to use. “I know you’re a little busy now that you’ve just become a director. You also have a lot of paperwork, and you’re sick…sigh… I understand your difficulties. But you’re really the only one who can handle this case.”

“How about this? I’ll apply for you to review the identification of this foreigner, and you can be the main examiner for the 823 case. And I’ll have Little Wang go to that competition. You don’t have to lead the team.” Director Hong pushed the teacup toward Shen Yiyi. “I do have a lot of meetings this month, and it’s hard for me to take care of your situation. If you have any other work difficulties, just say so. I’ll try my best to adjust.”

Try my best to adjust. Then what’s the point of saying anything?

But being able to be adjusted from the main examiner to a reviewer meant that she wouldn’t have to hear them discuss Logos in the analysis meeting.

That was good.

“Thank you, Director Hong.”

Seeing that Shen Yiyi was about to leave without even touching her cup, Director Hong didn’t understand what she meant. Was she satisfied with his arrangement or not?

This was the first time this department-level cadre had worked with a woman in a leadership team. He couldn’t figure out her bottom line and her tricks for the time being.

“Hey, Little Shen, you’re leaving before you’ve even had your tea?”

Shen Yiyi weighed the documents in her hand. “I’m going to work, Director.”

“When I get back from Beijing, let’s have a good meal together.”

Shen Yiyi smiled. “Director, I’ve just had surgery. I can’t even eat at the cafeteria. Let’s forget about the meal. We can have tea another day.”

In the corridor, Shen Yiyi was standing by the window at the corner, holding her phone.

Smoking was not allowed in the public building, but there were too many male police officers. They would always run to the fire escape to smoke secretly. Their identification center was always the worst in the hygiene evaluation. Director Hong had come up with a solution and had set up a smoking area at the corner by the window.

The windowsill was covered in dust with tar, and the white walls had also been stained yellow. The soles of your shoes would be sticky when you stepped on it.

Shen Yiyi did not smoke. She even hated the smell of smoke. But she just wanted to stand in it and feel the presence of the unsettling factors. Compared to the anxiety brought on by her mysophobia, regret was what she feared the most.

Regret is a chronic pain. When the pain embraces the body, all hesitation will be slowly soaked and expanded, and then the willpower will also be devoured.

“Does Director Shen also smoke?”

She came back to her senses. “No.”

“Then you…”

Shen Yiyi smiled and stepped aside to make way. “I’m just out for some fresh air. You guys go ahead.”

In the corner of that photo, the ashtray on the balcony was full of cigarette butts. Qin Luo had also smoked last night. Had she also figured out that if you really let go, you won’t look back?

“Who sent the flowers?”

Liu Jia stared at the vase on Qin Luo’s dining table. Inside was a bouquet of fresh sunflowers. Qin Luo hated things that would wither, so it was most likely a gift from a suitor.

But the people who had Qin Luo’s home address…

“Shen Yiyi?”

Qin Luo had just woken up and was sitting on the sofa, rubbing her temples. “You Ning sent them.”

“Huh?”

Derailed, derailed.

Liu Jia felt that she and Qin Luo were drifting further and further apart. “How does You Ning have your home address? Or did you bring this bouquet back from the production? And then you arranged it in the vase?”

“Yes, it was Little Sun’s birthday the day before yesterday. She got drunk at night and slept at my place.”

“At your place?”

Liu Jia walked around the sofa and asked in a judgmental tone, “Did you sleep together?”

“Not yet.”

Qin Luo looked at her watch. It was 7:30 in the evening. She had gotten up a little late today. She had promised to have a late-night snack with You Ning tonight. “I’ll tell you if we do.”

Normally, Qin Luo should have said to her: “Get lost,” “Are you sick,” or “You’re crazy,” one of the three.

But today, it was just a light and airy “I’ll tell you if we do.”

…