Chapter 24 p1
Jian Xin hadn’t been this embarrassed in a long time.
She had no idea what had possessed her to send such a stupid sticker to an ex she had broken up with seven years ago!
What big cutie, what suddenly appeared!
Who gave her the audacity to act so crazy!
The key was, she had already recalled it in a second, but Yan Lu had still seen it!!!
Last time, she had lied about having read her novel, taking the drastically changed plot from the drama and praising it to the high heavens. This time, she had suddenly sent such an embarrassing sticker and was caught red-handed when she recalled it…
She couldn’t imagine what kind of image she had in Yan Lu’s mind anymore.
Can anyone teach her how to dispel this deadly embarrassment…
Jian Xin stared at Yan Lu’s question for a long time, finally sighed, and decided to give up struggling and face the embarrassing scene head-on.
Picked Up a Heart: I just feel that, given our current relationship, it seems a bit inappropriate to send that sticker.
Just two seconds after the message was sent, a counter-question came back.
Perched by the Roadside: What is our current relationship?
Picked Up a Heart: [This question is very profound]
Picked Up a Heart: [Lost in thought…]
Picked Up a Heart: [Hesitates to speak]
Perched by the Roadside: It seems hard to define.
Picked Up a Heart: Not really!
Perched by the Roadside: Then tell me.
Picked Up a Heart: [Salty fish tears]
I give up. Does Teacher Yan have to be so strict?
Those simple words, hitting the nail on the head, without any modification from stickers or emoticons, every stroke exuding the coldness of the text.
Even Director Niu didn’t have this kind of aura and pressure!
Jian Xin had never dreamed that one day she would be a little afraid of Yan Lu.
To be honest, her current relationship with Yan Lu was indeed quite difficult to define.
Many people say that once a couple breaks up, it’s hard to go back to being friends.
Faced with someone you once genuinely cared about, even if you part on good terms, there’s bound to be a hurdle in your heart.
So what kind of relationship should she and Yan Lu have?
Jian Xin thought for a long time and answered nervously.
Picked Up a Heart: It must be friends
Picked Up a Heart: Good friends!
Picked Up a Heart: But not so good that we can be completely without reservations.
Picked Up a Heart: [Hahahahaha]
Picked Up a Heart: What I mean is, we’re both adults, and I have my pride.
Picked Up a Heart: The sticker I sent just now seemed a bit silly, a bit embarrassing. I recalled it because I wanted to switch to a more normal one, so you wouldn’t think I’m too childish.
Picked Up a Heart: If I had known you saw it, I wouldn’t have bothered.
Picked Up a Heart: [Your big cutie has suddenly appeared]
Perched by the Roadside: It’s fine, I didn’t think it was childish.
Perched by the Roadside: You don’t have to recall it next time.
Perched by the Roadside: Recalling it after it’s been seen is meaningless. Recalling it when it hasn’t been seen will only make people overthink.
Picked Up a Heart: [You’re right]
Perhaps she was overthinking it. It was just a sticker. She had sent it to her friends countless times before, but when it came to Yan Lu, it just felt inappropriate.
Actually, she thought she knew where the problem lay…
In the very distant past, she had always played the role of the person in Yan Lu’s heart who seemed to be able to do anything, handle anything, and overcome any obstacle.
—But she wasn’t that person anymore.
Seven years, not long, but not short either. Neither of them was the same as before.
The youthful spirit of not knowing the immensity of heaven and earth, of daring to think, dare to do, and dare to compete with everything, had long since been worn away without her realizing it.
When the dreams of her youth quietly shattered like bubbles in the busy reality, without any pain, as if it were just an ordinary wind blowing by, taking away some insignificant dust.
The aspirations of her youth had quietly turned into the most insignificant things in her ordinary life.
Although she knew in her heart that she really didn’t need to compare herself with anyone, the moment she saw Yan Lu again, she couldn’t help but fall into a sense of inferiority.
The girl she had once pulled along with all her might had, in the years since she left, walked so far, so far.
And she had been standing still, as if she could no longer catch up to her footsteps.
She couldn’t ignore this distance, but she didn’t want the other person to notice these thoughts. So she subconsciously played the role of a complete stranger, imagining that as long as she put on a more mature and steady appearance than before, she could narrow the seemingly insurmountable distance between them.
—What a meaningless struggle.
With this thought, Jian Xin couldn’t help but smile and shake her head.
Why am I taking the long way around? The old me would never have done something so thankless.
It’s better to just say what can be said, right?
She bit her lip, her heart a mix of emotions as she typed a new message.
Picked Up a Heart: Actually, I’m not that mature now. It’s just that you seem very steady now, so I subconsciously hope that in your eyes, I can be a grown-up me.
Picked Up a Heart: But on second thought, it seems quite unnecessary.
Picked Up a Heart: You know what I’m like. Why am I pretending in front of you?
After sending this message, Jian Xin hesitated for a moment, as if she had made some kind of resolution, her face becoming more serious.
Picked Up a Heart: Actually, I haven’t read your novels. I was lying to you last time.
Perched by the Roadside: I know.
Picked Up a Heart: I know you know.
Picked Up a Heart: But I really did go and read them later.
Picked Up a Heart: I haven’t finished all of them, I’m just reading them slowly.
Picked Up a Heart: You still write so well. Every book makes me cry so hard.
Picked Up a Heart: Watching the emotions you want to express in your writing slowly change over the years is like witnessing a shocking metamorphosis.
Picked Up a Heart: You really did it, you’re amazing.
After sending this message, Jian Xin stared at the chat box, lost in a daze.
She didn’t know what else she could say, nor did she know what kind of reply she was expecting.
She had been holding these words in for a long time. Over a month ago, on the day of her first follow-up check-up at the hospital, she had already wanted to tell Yan Lu.
But she was just a bit stubborn.
Even though she knew Yan Lu had seen through her long ago, she still clung to that little bit of pride, as if admitting it would make the sky fall.
Now, she had said it all, and the rock in her heart had finally been lifted.
From now on, no matter what Yan Lu thinks or how she replies, I probably won’t care anymore, right? she thought.
Anyway, I’ve already said everything I should and shouldn’t have said very clearly. The rest, whatever happens, happens.
Jian Xin sighed and waited quietly for a while, finally receiving Yan Lu’s message.
Perched by the Roadside: Did you suddenly contact me just to say this?
Picked Up a Heart: Oh, not really. This was just a bloody incident caused by a sticker.
Damn it, when did I suddenly go off-topic? I didn’t even realize it!
Perched by the Roadside: Then what did you want to talk to me about?
Picked Up a Heart: It’s like this, I wanted to ask, are you very familiar with Lin Xiyu?
Perched by the Roadside: Why the sudden question?
Picked Up a Heart: Oh, it’s like this, I received an OST collaboration offer from the crew of Moon Between the Clouds.
Picked Up a Heart: But the total number of my followers on all platforms is less than 100,000, and I’ve been practically off the grid these past few years. Even if I had fans before, they’re all just dead fans now. I just feel like this kind of opportunity wouldn’t fall into my lap.
After writing this, Jian Xin took a deep breath and asked the question she really wanted to ask.
Picked Up a Heart: Isn’t Lin Xiyu in Moon Between the Clouds?
Picked Up a Heart: She’s interacted with you on Weibo, you seem to be quite familiar.
Picked Up a Heart: I was just thinking, maybe you recommended me to her.
Yan Lu’s side kept showing “typing,” but no message came for a long time.
Jian Xin didn’t know how long she waited, only that time suddenly seemed to stretch on.
Until she got her answer.
Perched by the Roadside: I don’t know.
—As expected, that’s the answer.
But why?
Even though the answer was expected, Jian Xin still couldn’t quite understand.
Why wouldn’t Yan Lu admit it?
Was it so hard to say that she had just helped her out?
Perched by the Roadside: You had a lot of works back then, and you weren’t so obscure that no one knew you.
Perched by the Roadside: Maybe someone in the crew had heard your work and thought you were talented but not famous, cheap and easy to use, and very cost-effective.
Jian Xin: “…”
Talented, not famous, cheap and easy to use, cost-effective…
Mmm, how should I put Yan Lu’s evaluation?
It’s a sentence that’s hard to tell whether it’s a compliment or an insult.
Picked Up a Heart: [Thank you]
Picked Up a Heart: [You’re so good with words]
Perched by the Roadside: What I mean is, if you have the opportunity, you should just take it.
Perched by the Roadside: There’s no need to think about whether you’re worthy before the result comes out.
Perched by the Roadside: As for opportunities, it doesn’t matter how they come. If you can seize them, you’re worthy.
Picked Up a Heart: [Lost in thought…]
Perched by the Roadside: What’s wrong?
Picked Up a Heart: Thank you, Teacher Yan!
Picked Up a Heart: It was a sudden enlightenment, a moment of realization, and I’ve benefited greatly!
Perched by the Roadside: …
Perched by the Roadside: Passive-aggressive.
Picked Up a Heart: [Trying to be cute to get away with it]
Yan Lu didn’t reply again, and the conversation seemed to end there.
Jian Xin lay back on her bed, flipping through the chat history countless times.
She still couldn’t help but wonder, why wouldn’t Yan Lu admit that this had something to do with her?
Was she afraid of hurting her pride?
No, no, that’s unlikely.
She had always had a thick skin, and Yan Lu must have known that.
Could it be that Yan Lu didn’t want this help to cause any misunderstanding, and didn’t want the person being helped to suddenly have any unrealistic thoughts?
Or maybe, Yan Lu simply didn’t want others to know about her private relationship with Lin Xiyu…
Jian Xin lay on her bed and thought for a long time, but she just couldn’t figure it out, and she didn’t know how to ask.
She couldn’t just tell Yan Lu that she had actually been to her house, been her pet, and had seen everything she should and shouldn’t have seen, right?
Forget it, maybe she didn’t need to figure this out at all.
Just as Yan Lu had said, when an opportunity comes, just seize it. There’s no point in overthinking too much before the result comes out.
Besides, no matter what the truth was, whether Yan Lu admitted it or not, she had seen it with her own eyes and knew it clearly.
But she was the kind of person who always repaid kindness. Someone had done her such a big favor, but she didn’t even have the chance to say thank you. It was a little frustrating.
At the very least, she should treat her to a meal, right?
