014 Exorcism (Part 1)
It was two days later when Qin Ren found out why his sister had suddenly sent him that WeChat message the other night.
[King of Qin: Sis, it was really a friend’s kid staying over, you have to believe me]
[Jing Ke: Mm, I believe you]
Qin Ren was stunned. Was his sister being this easygoing today?
[King of Qin: For real or for fake?]
[Jing Ke: For real. That’s why I’ve already called the police]
[King of Qin: ???]
Qin Ren immediately called [Her Majesty, the Queen]. He explained thoroughly and even had Luo Yao, who was playing Landlords on the tablet, come forward.
“Stop playing, you unlucky kid! Hurry up and be a witness for me!”
“Oh, oh.”
The unlucky kid was very obedient. She dropped the tablet, kicked off her little slippers, climbed onto the sofa, and sat with her legs together. Her feet, wrapped in pure white cotton socks, were tucked under her little bottom. Her hands rested on her knees, and her small frame instantly straightened up.
“I’m sitting up straight. What’s next?”
“Be a witness!”
Qin Ren nearly coughed up a mouthful of blood and wanted to stuff the phone into her mouth. But considering her mouth was too small, he restrained himself, covered the mouthpiece, and held the phone next to her face.
“Just tell her you’re a kid, not some random woman, understand?”
“Understood~”
Luo Yao hadn’t been paying attention before and didn’t know who “her” was at the moment. In any case, she just had to do as Qin Ren said. So, as soon as Qin Ren uncovered the mouthpiece, she began to chirp.
“Hello? I am Qin Ren’s child.”
“?”
“A random… mmm… I’m also his woman.”
“???”
The amount of information packed into that short sentence made Qin Ren suspect that Gu Qing might actually call the police. He instantly felt very, very unwell.
As a result, a matter that could have been cleared up in half an hour took Qin Ren a full hour of pleading and explaining.
“Sis, why don’t you come home next week? You’ll believe me when you see for yourself.”
“Heh.”
Gu Qing let out a scoff. After a moment of silence, a low, cold voice came through the receiver.
“Is that the only reason…”
“What?”
“…”
Another moment of silence, then a hint of anger from the other side.
“I’m asking, are you making me travel all that way home just so you can make me believe you?”
All that way?
Qin Ren counted on his fingers. Jiaotong University was a bit far, but it wasn’t exactly a thousand-mile journey, was it?
“Well…”
Qin Ren scratched his hair, cleared his throat, and tried a different angle.
“Sis, I miss you. Is that okay?”
“…”
“Everyone’s been busy this year, we haven’t seen each other in a long time. I miss you a lot, so you’ll come back next week, right?”
After the third silence, Gu Qing’s voice returned to its usual indifferent tone.
“Next week won’t work. I have to attend a green building conference with Professor Zhang.”
“Oh, then when are you planning to come back?”
“We’ll see.”
After dropping that line, Gu Qing quickly hung up. After hanging up, she tossed the phone onto the desk, startling Wang Li behind her.
“What’s wrong, Gu Qing? Did your phone explode?”
Gu Qing didn’t speak. Wang Li craned her neck and leaned over, only to see her roommate’s exquisite little face flushed in a pink, hazy blush.
“Tsk, tsk, tsk…”
Wang Li clicked her tongue repeatedly and touched Gu Qing’s forehead.
“Do you have a fever?”
“You… you go away…”
Wang Li didn’t go away, so Gu Qing went away.
“Where are you going?”
“To eat.”
Wang Li watched Gu Qing’s light steps and the fluttering hem of her little skirt. She stared silently at the spot where she had left the dorm for a few seconds, shaking her head and sighing softly as she muttered.
“This hopeless sis-con… she’s really beyond saving…”
————————————
Qin Ren’s cover story for Luo Yao to Gu Qing was “a friend’s child staying over.”
But he himself knew that he couldn’t keep it a secret forever. So he planned to slowly tell his sister the truth when she had time to come home.
Sis, a Spirit Beast has descended upon our family! It’s a Pixiu! It’ll bring us wealth and treasure!
Put that way, it didn’t sound so bad.
After all, Luo Yao was very presentable, not some kind of demon. The two siblings were orphans to begin with. If they added another orphan from another world to the family, Qin Ren estimated that Gu Qing would be able to accept it.
As for the exorcist business…
Since he had already retired, Qin Ren felt there was no need to reveal that as well.
Life was better the more peaceful it was. The less you knew, the happier you were.
As the saying goes, ignorance is bliss.
“Qin Ren, Qin Ren, this eminence wants to drink Saddam milk tea.”
“It’s Assam milk tea…”
Of course, complete ignorance wasn’t good either. For example, Luo Yao still had a long way to go.
“Why the sudden craving for that?”
It was 12 a.m. Qin Ren had already taken off his clothes and was ready for bed, but the little girl holding the tablet beside his pillow suddenly started clamoring for milk tea.
“It’s all because the people in here are drinking it so deliciously. This eminence suddenly has a craving for it, so much that I can’t sleep.”
Her finger pointed at the tablet. Qin Ren took it and had a look.
“Late-night poison… Handmade Assam milk tea… Clean and hygienic?”
For a Pixiu who had only recently been exposed to Bilibili, this kind of video that you couldn’t find during the day but couldn’t escape at night was indeed very tempting.
“Just one sip, please, Qin Ren…”
“No.”
Qin Ren was ruthless.
“What kind of milk tea are you drinking in the middle of the night? Be careful of getting cavities.”
Luo Yao wasn’t afraid of any cavities. What kind of bugs hadn’t she eaten back on the Myriad Demon Continent?
Golden-Winged Demon Butterflies, Tianshan Snow Silkworms… deep-fried in a pan, they were crispy and crunchy, enough to make even the Sect Master cry with envy.
“Qin Ren~”
The clever High Immortal had already learned the Earthling way of acting cute from some TV series. She grabbed Qin Ren’s arm and shook it back and forth.
“Qin Ren~ I just want it~”
“…”
“Just for tonight, just this once~”
“…”
“Plea-se-pretty-plea-se~”
The rhythmic shaking was even in time with her words. Honestly, having such a fragrant and soft little thing rubbing against him was really intoxicating. Qin Ren couldn’t hold out much longer. He finally sat up and glared at her fiercely.
“I’ll buy it for you! Are you happy now, my little lady!”
It was too late to get hot milk tea from a delivery service, so Qin Ren had no choice but to get dressed and go to a Golden Arches just two hundred meters from the community.
…
“Excuse me, can you still make milk tea?”
“Yes. Iced or hot?”
“Hot, please.”
“8 yuan. I’ll scan you.”
Beep—
“Welcome again!”
After leaving the Golden Arches, Qin Ren started back the way he came. Just as he turned into a small alley, he muttered about how it seemed a bit cold tonight, when a gust of sinister wind suddenly blew through.
Whoosh—
“Ugh…”
The wind carried a rusty, metallic stench. Qin Ren pinched his nose in disgust, then frowned. He saw a girl stumbling towards him from the depths of the alley.
She was completely covered in a hoodie and sweatpants. The hood was pulled down tightly over her head. Perhaps because of her small face, a black mask covered almost her entire face, revealing only a pair of nervous eyes. She staggered with every other step and shouted at Qin Ren from a distance.
“Get out of here, it’s dangerous!”
Her crisp voice had a hint of a neat, androgynous tone. Qin Ren tilted his head slightly and vaguely saw some black shadow writhing behind the girl, rapidly closing in with the sound of crumbling gravel.
…
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Translator’s Notes
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Landlords (斗地主): A very popular Chinese card game.
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Green building (绿建): Short for “绿色建筑” (lǜsè jiànzhù), it refers to sustainable and environmentally friendly building design and construction.
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Saddam / Assam (萨达姆 / 阿萨姆): A pun. Luo Yao mishears “Āsàmǔ” (阿萨姆, Assam) as “Sàdámǔ” (萨达姆, Saddam).
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Late-night poison (深夜放毒): Chinese internet slang for posting pictures or videos of delicious food late at night, “poisoning” others with cravings.
