A Promise in a Thought 47

Chapter 47

This was the first time Bo Muyu had heard Lan Yuxin’s laughter devoid of mirth, instead filled with pity and sadness.

“Sister Lan, please tell me. About the incident from over a decade ago and the one from four years ago. I know the incident from over a decade ago happened between Auntie Yin and her university classmates. She left four years ago because something happened that was related to that old incident. The nature of these two incidents should be similar, or at least related, otherwise Auntie Yin wouldn’t have been so scared as to go abroad.”

Bo Muyu was calm and composed, summarizing the information she had gathered to let Lan Yuxin know that she was not completely in the dark.

She was just one step away from the long-sealed past. She had to know everything. She couldn’t be kept in the dark forever, watching Jiang Chenyin be unable to escape her nightmares for the rest of her life.

Lan Yuxin suddenly had an indescribable feeling. She felt that Bo Muyu was hiding a lot. To have found out so much information, it must have taken time, and it seemed that Jiang Chenyin had no idea that this child had quietly learned so much.

Jiang Chenyin was an adult with social experience, yet she was completely unaware that the child beside her was gradually exploring the past that everyone was trying so hard to hide.

Lan Yuxin stood up and paced back and forth in the living room. After a moment, she said, “I can’t tell you these things. She wouldn’t want you to know about the past from someone else. If you must know, I think she would rather be the one to tell you.”

Bo Muyu’s gaze turned to the bright sky outside the window, and she murmured leisurely, “Will she tell me?”

“I don’t know either,” Lan Yuxin laughed, then comforted her, “But in any case, she has never forgotten those things. Our deliberate avoidance of the topic is only a temporary solution. She doesn’t have amnesia. So if you really want to know, then ask.”

Bo Muyu was slightly taken aback. Lin Chuwan had said the same thing. Something that had such a heavy impact on a person would not disappear from their memory. After all, without amnesia, how could such a profound past be removed from one’s life?

To some extent, Lin Chuwan and Jiang Chenyin were the same. They were just used to the pain, had become numb to it, so they didn’t show it on the outside. But that didn’t mean their hearts would no longer be touched by it.

“I understand,” Bo Muyu’s eyes flashed, and her voice deepened. “Thank you, Sister Lan.”

Lan Yuxin thought for a moment and said, “Although I can’t tell you those things, I can tell you about her past with Meng Yi’an. That’s not something that can’t be said. Besides, if she really does confide in you, then you’ll be able to sort out the relationships.”

“Okay, I’m listening,” Bo Muyu said, a hint of joy in her heart as she sat back down on the bed.

“After the incident from over a decade ago, Meng Yi’an gave Chenyin a lot of emotional support. You could say he took care of her in every possible way. He would comfort her, take her out to relax, and do whatever she said. I thought he was a very outstanding man at the time. Of course, I still think so now, but he made one mistake. This mistake might not matter to others, but to Chenyin, it was fatal.”

Lan Yuxin paused and, for a rare moment, sighed.

Bo Muyu frowned. “It’s what you told me just now.”

“Yes,” Lan Yuxin continued. “Meng Yi’an is a caring person, with a good character and personality, but he just didn’t think about the consequences those ordinary words would have on Chenyin. So, the reason he has been unable to win Chenyin back all these years is because almost every one of his attempts to win her back was a hurt, and was invisibly pushing her further away.”

In other words, what Meng Yi’an said often made Jiang Chenyin uncomfortable.

Realizing this, Bo Muyu’s left hand, clenched into a fist, tightened, and she said in a low voice, “I know. Thank you, Sister Lan.”

Lan Yuxin smiled, trying her best to diffuse the serious atmosphere. “You’re welcome. If you think your big sister is nice, you can treat me to a meal sometime. I’ll definitely be there.”

After agreeing, Bo Muyu hung up and looked out the window. The sky was clear, no longer as gloomy as yesterday.

She hoped that Jiang Chenyin’s heart could also be so cloudless, but no one had been able to achieve that for so long. Since that was the case, then she would use all the strength she had to do this.

Since taking over her friend’s coffee shop in the city center, Jiang Chenyin had only supervised the initial work for a few days before leaving the continued management to the original shop manager.

This time, the place she had chosen to meet Meng Yi’an was her own coffee shop. It was the first time she had invited him out in many years, and he had arrived very early.

Jiang Chenyin was the owner, so the shop manager had naturally asked about her preferences long ago. Not long after she sat down, the manager personally brought her a coffee.

The rich aroma of espresso filled the air. Jiang Chenyin took a light sip, letting the bitterness spread between her lips and teeth.

“You still like to drink bitter coffee,” Meng Yi’an said with a smile, slowly stirring his own coffee but not drinking it.

Jiang Chenyin’s lips curved, her smile gentle. “Mmm, I’m used to it. I feel uncomfortable if I switch to something else.”

Meng Yi’an looked out the window. Because of the cold weather, pedestrians were hurrying by, but there were still a few couples with smiles on their faces, showing no sign of being cold.

He turned back to look at Jiang Chenyin, a hint of nostalgia for the past in his eyes. “I remember you used to say that in the winter, you wanted to go to the south to see what a winter without snow was like. And you also wanted to see the snow scenes all over the world, to see how the snow in other places was different from in Qinzhou.”

Jiang Chenyin leaned back in her chair, also looking out the window, and then said with a smile, “I’ve already seen all that. My free time over the years has not been wasted.”

Meng Yi’an asked, “Alone?”

Jiang Chenyin shook her head with a smile. “With friends, and also with family.”

“Are friends just friends?” Meng Yi’an’s tone was a little meaningful.

Jiang Chenyin looked into his eyes and said, “Just friends is enough.”

“Can I boldly guess that you haven’t met anyone you like?” Meng Yi’an suddenly turned the topic to the main point. “You used to have such feelings, Chenyin…”

Jiang Chenyin interrupted him, “But that doesn’t mean I still have such feelings for you now.”

Meng Yi’an said, “But at least you did. Why can’t we try again? Are you not confident in yourself, or do you not believe in me?”

Only a very faint curve remained on Jiang Chenyin’s lips, and there was no longer any obvious emotion in her eyes. She sometimes felt annoyed, because Meng Yi’an persisted as if he didn’t understand what she meant.

She said they couldn’t get back together, so he said they should start over, trying every means to find a way in.

Before she could speak, Meng Yi’an said, “Chenyin, you trusted me very much back then, and I never did anything to wrong you. So it can be the same now. We can start over. Why not?”

Jiang Chenyin rubbed her temples, for the first time feeling that bitter coffee seemed to have the effect of giving her a headache.

“Yi’an,” she smiled faintly. “Say what you said to me at my parents’ house yesterday again.”

“Okay,” Meng Yi’an was a little surprised. “What I meant yesterday was that we can be friends first. At least you shouldn’t resist being with me. We can maintain the most ordinary friendship, get to know each other again, and understand each other again. When the time is right, and we both feel that we can take another step forward, then we can go back to how we were before.”

Jiang Chenyin rested her left elbow on the armrest of the chair, her hand massaging her forehead, a faint, unreadable smile on her lips.

Meng Yi’an smiled. “Of course, at that time, I will take the initiative, just like before.”

“Start as friends…” Jiang Chenyin’s lips curved as she looked at him. “In other words, from the beginning, it’s about cultivating feelings, preparing for that suitable time in the future. All our interactions, even just as friends, are for the sake of that future time, right?”

Meng Yi’an nodded. “Yes. What you need is time, isn’t it?”

Jiang Chenyin shook her head helplessly. “So even as friends, I can only consider being with you. Although it’s in the name of friendship, it has tied me down from the very beginning. I can’t have other choices, only to be with you as friends for the sake of that so-called time.”

Meng Yi’an was taken aback. “No, that’s not what I mean… you can have choices.”

Jiang Chenyin asked calmly, “Can I really have choices? If I could, you wouldn’t be so persistent in persuading me to start as friends with you again now.”

Meng Yi’an was completely stunned. He held the armrests of the chair and shook his head. “That’s not it. I didn’t want to tie you down. I really just wanted to start over.”

“Alright then,” Jiang Chenyin smiled. “If I agree to be friends with you, then while we are friends, I fall in love with someone and want to be with that person. Is that okay?”

Meng Yi’an immediately objected, “No, we’re starting as friends, but I’m not giving you up to someone else.”

Jiang Chenyin spread her hand, her eyes full of understanding. “So, your suggestion is not a real friendship from the very beginning. Your goal has been very clear from the start.”

“No, that’s not it…” Meng Yi’an still shook his head, but he couldn’t say anything else, leaning back in his chair powerlessly.

She was right. He had never intended to back down from the beginning. Even being friends was for the sake of cultivating feelings. He didn’t want to give her up to someone else.

The current situation was not what Jiang Chenyin wanted to see, but compared to Meng Yi’an’s stubbornness, she had to choose this way. Since he had always thought that she was hurting him, then being more decisive would be better for everyone.

After a long silence, Jiang Chenyin’s expression softened again. “Yi’an, look forward. We can’t go back. No matter what method you plan to use, it’s all about getting back together. Just as I said just now, you want to be friends with me, but you’re not willing to let me choose what I really want.”

Meng Yi’an couldn’t answer, and he didn’t even dare to look up.

Jiang Chenyin smiled dismissively, took a sip of her coffee, and said, “A friend of mine was right. If you really just want to be friends, then the best way is to let nature take its course, not to force it. A forced relationship, whether it’s friendship or love, is not pure, and it’s not what we want.”

She had no intention of telling Meng Yi’an that half of these words were from Bo Muyu. That child was not sensitive by nature but was exceptionally intelligent. She would cherish these small details herself.

Meng Yi’an suddenly looked up, a final glimmer of hope in his eyes. “Chenyin, is it really not possible? I don’t want this. We could have been very happy.”

“I’m very happy now too,” Jiang Chenyin first smiled, then shook her head gently without hesitation. “We can’t be together not because I need time to accept you and deepen our feelings, nor for any irrelevant reason. It’s simply because I don’t like you anymore. It’s that simple.”

After she finished, she looked out at the clear sky through the glass wall and felt much more relaxed.

In the coffee shop’s parking lot, before getting into his car, Meng Yi’an still turned to face her with some reluctance. “Chenyin, what kind of person will you like in the future?”

Jiang Chenyin looked at the polite man before her, and for a moment, she didn’t know how to answer this question. Back then, he had been gentle and refined, his appearance in a white shirt handsome and dashing in a crowd. And now, he was even more outstanding than back then, but he was no longer the person she liked.

“I don’t know about the future,” Jiang Chenyin said with a soft laugh. “I don’t have a definite standard, but if there is such a person, then that person will be the type I like.”

Meng Yi’an let out a helpless laugh, gave her another deep look, and then silently got into his car and left.

He didn’t say goodbye, probably because he felt that the words “see you again” might not have a chance to be realized. Even if they did, it would at most be a few pleasantries, and nothing more.

Jiang Chenyin watched his car disappear in a cloud of dust, feeling an unprecedented sense of relaxation.

She walked to her car and took out her phone to look, only to find that she had several missed calls from Lan Yuxin on the phone she had silenced to talk to Meng Yi’an.

What was so urgent that Lan Yuxin had called so many times?

Jiang Chenyin didn’t dare to delay and called her back. As soon as the call connected, before she could speak, she heard Lan Yuxin’s serious tone, which she hadn’t heard in a long time, “Teacher Jiang, I advise you to consider telling your little one about those past events as soon as possible. She’s already found out most of it.”