Chapter 50: Chaos

Ji Yan’s motive for asking that question wasn’t pure.

In fact, she had brought up the past specifically to needle Xu Yinian, hoping to provoke her into leaving. Since childhood, Ji Yan had always licked her wounds in solitude. She had no need for others to strike a pose, interfering in her life or offering some hollow salvation.

But now, the Ji family’s secrets and her own pathetic, half-dead state were laid bare before Xu Yinian’s eyes.

It was strange. This time, Xu Yinian didn’t seem afraid. She even dared to approach. Is she pitying me? Ji Yan didn’t realize that the walls around her heart were already beginning to crumble.

Xu Yinian froze. When she looked up, she collided directly with those ink-dark eyes.

This was the second time they had locked eyes in this room. The cold defensiveness from before had softened slightly, yet Ji Yan’s gaze remained sharp, fixed intently on her. Despite the usual damp chill in her expression, there was an inexplicable, burning intensity in her need to know the answer.

Xu Yinian hadn’t thought much of it when she decided to stay. It was simply her “Saint Mother” nature—she was the type of person who couldn’t easily turn her back on someone in need. Moreover, the Ji Yan she saw just now was truly fragile and harmless, which had finally allowed Xu Yinian to let down her guard.

“Because… you aren’t being mean right now…”

Her soft voice was dry from nerves. She spoke tentatively, one word at a time, but the trailing end of her sentence betrayed her characteristic timidness. As she spoke, she stole glances at Ji Yan’s face.

In hindsight, her impulsive honesty was basically equivalent to saying Ji Yan was always mean. But “mean” was an understatement; she was practically a psychotic mess… If it weren’t for the sight of the blood loss stirring Xu Yinian’s compassion, she wouldn’t have dared to get involved.

The answer was unexpected, yet it was exactly the kind of thing only Xu Yinian would say.

Ji Yan had seen through her nature long ago—from the first time Xu Yinian met Qin Jiashu and immediately tried to please and accommodate her just because of a few polite words. Xu Yinian was the type to keep a single kindness in her heart forever, always looking for a way to repay it, while completely forgetting the times she’d been hurt.

No matter how much she usually avoided Ji Yan or trembled under her control, the moment she saw Ji Yan looking lifeless, she threw her fear to the wind and approached without any sense of self-preservation.

She didn’t stop to consider that even if Ji Yan were at death’s door, she could still treat her however she pleased. Ji Yan could easily drag her down into the same abyss.

However, those weak, uncharacteristically bold words—”you aren’t being mean right now”—seemed to brush against the frozen depths of Ji Yan’s heart. A soft warmth began to smooth over the repressed hostility and gloom left behind by her own mother’s cruelty.

Ji Yan didn’t speak. She lowered her eyes again as if she didn’t care. But beneath the veil of her thick lashes, a flash of complex emotion flickered, hidden from view.

Accustomed to controlling others, Ji Yan hated the feeling of her emotions being swayed by a simple sentence. Yet, under the influence of Xu Yinian’s cautious, soft voice, even her lingering irritation was easily dissolved.

During the long silence, Xu Yinian worried that she had offended the other girl with her unintentional insult. Just as she was about to say something, the sound of footsteps echoed from the far end of the hallway, drawing closer.

Both girls looked up at once, their gazes colliding.

It was nearly nine o’clock. When Xu Yinian had passed the other studios earlier, the lights had already been turned off and the doors locked. Who would be coming here at this hour?

“Xu Yinian?”

It was Shen Ruoshuang’s voice, seemingly calling out to confirm her presence.

Only then did Xu Yinian snap out of the panic and worry caused by Ji Yan’s injury. She realized why she had stumbled into this studio in the first place: she had taken a wrong turn on her way back to the Elective Course classroom.

She had been gone for so long that either Shen Ruoshuang or Jiang Ke was bound to get suspicious… Shen Ruoshuang had watched her run away, so she knew Xu Yinian had headed in the wrong direction. Now, she had likely come looking for her, tentatively calling her name in the dim hallway.

Ji Yan also recognized the voice. The darkness in her eyes deepened, and she spoke through gritted teeth.

“You brought her here.”

“Shen Ruoshuang cannot see this.”

Aside from Xu Yinian, who had intruded while she was unconscious from blood loss, Ji Yan would not allow her secrets or her weaknesses to fall into anyone else’s hands. She didn’t notice that she had already subconsciously accepted sharing those secrets with Xu Yinian.

Xu Yinian thought about how Ji Yan had refused to go to the hospital just to keep the origin of her wounds a secret. Xu Yinian had her own secrets that she didn’t want to share, so she never asked questions. However, those grisly knife wounds couldn’t have come from a simple argument.

Furthermore, a person as vengeful as Ji Yan wouldn’t normally swallow such an injury in silence, hiding here alone. Everything suggested the wound was anything but simple.

Xu Yinian pondered this for a moment, but she wasn’t the type to pry into others’ traumas. She tucked her curiosity away.

“…Should I go turn off the lights and lock the door?” Xu Yinian asked, moving to stand up.

“It’s too late.”

Despite saying that, Ji Yan’s attention wasn’t on the approaching Shen Ruoshuang. As she stared at Xu Yinian, a flicker of possessiveness flashed through her eyes.

Ji Yan knew now that Xu Yinian’s intrusion had been accidental and that she had been with Shen Ruoshuang before coming here. If Xu Yinian went to the door now, she would definitely be caught.

Even though she had initially been wary and resistant to Xu Yinian, thinking she didn’t need help or salvation, her mind had changed. After allowing Xu Yinian to stay and being moved by that soft “you aren’t mean,” she had accepted her presence.

And once Ji Yan accepted someone, she viewed them as hers. She wouldn’t let anyone else take her.

“Don’t go.”

Her usual commanding “You aren’t allowed to go” had shifted into a softer “Don’t go.” It was an ambiguous plea for her not to leave.

Perhaps it was because she was trapped in the mucky swamp of the Ji family, or perhaps it was the boundless darkness of healing alone in a corner while fragile and helpless, but Ji Yan suddenly wanted to keep the only light in front of her.

When a person begins to fall, they are often completely unaware of the descent.

Xu Yinian also heard the difference in her tone. It almost sounded like Ji Yan was begging her, causing her to look up in surprise. Ji Yan had never been like this before; she was always either malicious or mocking, forcing Xu Yinian into embarrassing situations.

After a moment of thought, Xu Yinian felt she understood. Someone as wild and arrogant as Ji Yan wouldn’t want anyone to see her in such a pathetic, terrifying state. Especially not Shen Ruoshuang—the two of them were a couple in the original story.

It was obvious who she was “begging” for.

Xu Yinian truly was the type to forget the hurt. Even though she had been terrified of Ji Yan before, her heart softened when faced with such a fragile plea. Moreover, the relationship between the Protagonist-top and the heroine was her original goal.

“Then… where should I hide?” Xu Yinian asked nervously.

“Get down. Otherwise, the junk in front won’t hide you.”

That was indeed the only way to stay hidden behind the pile of miscellaneous items, just as Ji Yan had been hiding in the corner initially. However, the space was extremely narrow. There was no room for Xu Yinian to lie down.

Unless she lay on… Ji Yan?

“I’ll… I’ll press against your wound…”

That was only one reason; the other was something Xu Yinian was too embarrassed to say. But before she could get an answer, the footsteps stopped right outside the door.

Xu Yinian didn’t have time to worry about anything else. She glanced back toward the door where Shen Ruoshuang was.

What she didn’t see was that Ji Yan’s eyes never left her. The dark gaze grew even deeper. In that moment, the jealous possessiveness—the desire for the other girl to look only at her—reached its peak.

Finally, Ji Yan raised her clean hand and pulled Xu Yinian’s body, which was still exposed above the clutter, toward the crook of her neck.

She whispered an ambiguous sentence into Xu Yinian’s ear, her breath hot: “From now on, don’t look at her. Don’t make a sound.”

Xu Yinian was startled by the sudden physical contact. Having no defense as she looked back toward the door, she was pulled directly onto the other girl, falling into an embrace that wasn’t particularly warm or soft.

The panic and fear she usually felt toward Ji Yan resurfaced. If she hadn’t been afraid of making noise and being discovered by Shen Ruoshuang, she would have struggled to get up.

But a moment later, she realized that Ji Yan truly had no strength left. It wasn’t a forced restraint; the arm draped over her shoulder was light. And, as expected, the impact had clearly hit the wound, causing Ji Yan’s breathing to become ragged with pain.

Xu Yinian didn’t dare move another inch. This first instance of genuine obedience caused Ji Yan’s gaze to tremble.

Xu Yinian was now practically prone, leaning against Ji Yan’s thin collarbone. The bone felt uncomfortable against her, and her nostrils were filled with the other girl’s unfamiliar scent. She could feel the steady thrum of a heartbeat against her chest. Her face flushed, growing hotter as she pressed it into the fabric of Ji Yan’s clothes.

Before she could succumb to her embarrassment, the door she had left slightly ajar was pushed open.

Shen Ruoshuang didn’t step inside immediately. She seemed to be standing at the threshold, scanning the room.

Xu Yinian tensed up, holding her breath for fear of being caught. But with even the slightest movement of her eyes, she could see Ji Yan beneath her, a constant reminder of the suggestive position they were in.

The sounds of Shen Ruoshuang at the door grated on Xu Yinian’s sensitive nerves. For some reason, she suddenly and inappropriately remembered Shen Ruoshuang’s earlier comment about “impure motives.”

The thoughts that had sent her running in shame earlier came flashing back. Only Xu Yinian knew the tidal wave of chaos that Shen Ruoshuang’s “torpedo” of a comment had set off in her heart.

It was even starting to shake her faith in the original plot.

Wasn’t Shen Ruoshuang supposed to be interested in Ji Yan? Why did she go to such lengths to take the same classes? Why was she so obsessively attentive, and why had there been so much physical contact since they met?

What were those “impure motives” for?

Xu Yinian didn’t dare to know the answer, yet she couldn’t stop herself from replaying it over and over like a forbidden thought.

Xu Yinian, who had been a “good girl” her entire life, never imagined she would one day be in such a mess—nestled in one woman’s arms while thinking about another.