“Some things, once they start, aren’t so easy to end.
I didn’t sleep well last night. I need to sleep well tonight.”
—
Ren Sanliu didn’t sleep deeply that night. She woke up now and then, and each time she did, she instinctively snuggled tighter into Xiang Yu’s arms, hugging her even more securely. She felt a sense of anxiety, always fearing that the moment she fell into deep sleep, Xiang Yu would slip away.
It wasn’t until the first rays of morning light filtered through the curtains that her restless heart finally settled.
Perhaps this was the aftermath of acting on intimacy before resolving their emotional knots.
Ren Sanliu always felt like she had stolen all of this. Stolen things, even held close, always came with unease.
She didn’t want to face Xiang Yu’s distant gaze upon waking, nor did she want Xiang Yu to detect her true intentions from this unusual behavior. So, she quietly left first.
But Ren Sanliu had her selfish side. They had agreed it was only for last night, but she wasn’t willing to let it end there. The breakfast she personally made at the table was her little ploy. She wanted to use warm food and the small details of daily life to leave Xiang Yu lost in endless reverie, even after she left first.
They were both people starved for love. No one knew better than they did… how to hold onto someone’s heart.
After preparing breakfast, Ren Sanliu left the house and drove to Red Mountain to enjoy the scenery.
The deep spring landscape was hazy and poetic. The breeze was gentle, the sunlight bright, making everything feel leisurely and relaxed. As Ren Sanliu gazed at the lush green mountains before her, the warm wind carried the deep, moist fragrance of grass and trees. She felt like a sudden intruder wandering in, wrapped in a fuzzy warmth that spread around her, glowing with translucent gold.
Ren Sanliu hugged her arms and recalled the entanglement of their lips last night… the scorching intensity when Xiang Yu suddenly pinned her down. She felt like she had nearly been melted by Xiang Yu at that moment.
It wasn’t as if they had never shared intimate moments—closer than last night, even.
But the feeling was different. Before, they hadn’t understood. Their inexperienced bodies made them cautious. Later… there was finally one deep collision, but at that time, she had been in a completely shattered state, unable to truly savor the beauty of sex and love.
In that midsummer season, in that bedroom with doors and windows tightly shut, on that single bed, everything had been forced by her. Xiang Yu had no say at all. People say two people supporting each other walk more steadily, but they forget the premise: at least one side needs to be strong enough. But they? They had been as fragile as infants back then, neither able to stand steady, let alone have the strength to support the other.
Now, they had grown strong, their wings full, their bones sturdy enough to bear weight. Looking back to do such intimate things—even if they didn’t go all the way, just endless kissing—drove her mad.
On the way down the mountain, Ren Sanliu drove while watching the trees flash by outside the window. She began to miss Xiang Yu again and no longer restrained this pervasive emotion. She knew her own nature—she never easily missed anyone, nor did she let her feelings expand unchecked. She wasn’t one to fall for just anyone. Xiang Yu was the exception, the only one.
At that moment, she parked near a stylish coffee shop.
As soon as she entered, she saw Jin Shang sitting at a black ebony square table under a retro Mediterranean-style glass chandelier hanging from the center of the ceiling.
Jin Shang smiled at her, looking quite interested—
“You look like you had a good night last night.”
For once, a flush colored Ren Sanliu’s cheeks. Though she didn’t answer, it was as good as admission.
“Falling in love is a good thing.” Jin Shang nodded and continued, “You should have started dating long ago. It’s that person you mentioned on the phone last time, right?”
“It’s her… but… we’re not dating yet.” Ren Sanliu said honestly.
Jin Shang looked surprised—
“One-night stand?”
“Do you think I’m the type for one-night stands?” Ren Sanliu countered.
“You don’t seem like it, but… these things are unpredictable. When the feeling hits, no one can stop it.”
They were all adults. Jin Shang didn’t see one-night stands as something shameful to hide, as long as both parties were sober, willing, and single. What was wrong with a bed romp that left them both satisfied?
Ren Sanliu pursed her lips in silence and took a sip of the coffee by her hand.
She didn’t know how to explain this to Jin Shang. If Jin Shang knew it was the result of her deliberate scheming, would she think her too cunning—setting a trap before anything was made clear, luring the unsuspecting person in?
“Why so pensive? Whether it’s dating or a one-night stand, you must like her to do it.” Jin Shang noticed her unease and added, “And… anyone you fancy probably isn’t half bad, right?”
“She’s great.” Ren Sanliu finally spoke.
The reason she could confide in Jin Shang was not just because she was her mentor, but because she had been her guide and comforter during her darkest times.
Back then, not long after starting work, her grandmother had passed away. Ren Yu sold the old lady’s house and gave her the lifetime savings along with it. Alone in Jingbei, staring at the hefty sum in her bank account, she had broken down completely—burning with a 40-degree fever, lying in bed thinking she was dying. That’s when Jin Shang came, took her to the hospital, and told her people don’t die that easily; even the hardest things pass.
For some reason, she suddenly told Jin Shang, “I miss her so much, so very much. She’s a girl.”
Jin Shang remembered Ren Sanliu’s breakdown then—like her soul had died, but her body lingered.
She told her: man or woman, love shouldn’t be divided by gender.
Later, Jin Shang took her to watch the movie Manchester by the Sea. Thick snow blanketed the earth in endless white, the winter cold seeming eternal. Ren Sanliu cried uncontrollably. Jin Shang didn’t know what this young girl had been through, but she wanted to tell her: whatever happened, it doesn’t matter. You don’t have to reconcile with the past—it’s your right.
After that, once Ren Sanliu recovered, she never mentioned it again.
Now, Jin Shang looked at Ren Sanliu and, seeing her serious gaze, asked—
“Is it that girl you told me about back then?”
Ren Sanliu had only confided in Jin Shang about her orientation and feelings, though she was close to Su Huang too. But in terms of trust, she leaned toward Jin Shang.
And Jin Shang was indeed trustworthy—always listening quietly at the right moments.
“Yes, we reconnected recently.”
Ren Sanliu didn’t want to hide it from Jin Shang. She needed an emotional outlet to prove she wasn’t the cold-blooded person others saw.
“We’re not dating yet. The knot from our breakup isn’t untied. I said we’d be friends, but… you know… that was just a pretext. Last night… I used some tactics. We didn’t go all the way, but it wasn’t entirely aboveboard.”
“Is that what you think? Or does she think so too?” Jin Shang didn’t believe there were real “tactics” against a sound adult. Seemingly shady acts were often unspoken consents. In her eyes, Ren Sanliu had probably overcomplicated it—and assumed the other was too innocent.
“I don’t know.” Ren Sanliu said, though her heart stirred. Last night… Xiang Yu had seemed very invested.
“Not knowing is fine. It’s not a big deal… The key is…” Jin Shang shrugged, leaning forward slightly. “How did it feel for you? After so long since the breakup… is it the same as before?”
How did it feel? Ren Sanliu’s gaze dropped, and the little black mole at the corner of her left eye burned. She recalled Xiang Yu sucking on it repeatedly, then flipping her over, thrusting her tongue into her mouth, stirring fiercely.
“Looks like it’s even better than before.” Jin Shang leaned back, tapping the edge of the black agarwood table with her fingertip, smiling. “If it feels good, that’s all that matters. The rest isn’t an issue.”
“Things between us are complicated. Doing this without clearing anything up first—isn’t that a bit wrong?” Ren Sanliu furrowed her brow.
“What’s wrong with it? Do you mean it has to be like a legal document, listing clauses one by one before it’s settled? Isn’t that ridiculous?” Jin Shang said bluntly. “When emotions hit that peak, you fumble with buttons—you want to rip everything off.”
“Jin Lv, you…”
“Am I wrong? I’ve always wondered why ‘ripping clothes’ can’t apply between women. As if that fierce passion only exists in men. Who says women have to be soft and passive, waiting to receive, unable to take the initiative? Otherwise, they aren’t ‘women’? In my view, human nature is the same. And emotionally, women’s passion burns far hotter than men’s.”
With that, Jin Shang laughed again, tapping the table—
“And… don’t forget, I’ve been there.”
Ren Sanliu was convinced by Jin Shang. Last night, in that trembling moment, she had wanted to tear off Xiang Yu’s clothes. And not just that—she craved Xiang Yu tearing hers off too.
“Want my advice?” Jin Shang asked.
“Go ahead.”
“My advice: don’t overthink if it’s ‘aboveboard’ or if you used ‘tactics.’ Follow your heart. Know this… if she didn’t want it, you couldn’t have succeeded.”
“You mean…”
“Keep teasing her, but don’t give in easily. Make her addicted—she’ll come to you.”
Make her addicted…
Ren Sanliu sipped her coffee, her mind full of Xiang Yu—her rapid breaths against her ear, kissing the mole at her eye corner over and over, then sweeping to her lips without mercy, prying open her teeth, sucking desperately. Her whole body strained, hands gripping her waist, kneading so hard it felt like her bones would shatter. That gentle person in her memory turned so intense in a kiss, scorching enough to burn everything.
Ren Sanliu didn’t know if Xiang Yu would get addicted, but she was certain—she already was.
“Have you ever been addicted?” she asked Jin Shang.
“Yes, many times over.”
Their eyes met, and they burst into laughter together.
In the languidly stylish café, elegantly sipping coffee—two beautiful women in refined attire, chatting with poise—drew lingering gazes from nearby men. But none dared approach.
They knew such women had sharp minds, unmoved by gentlemanly facades.
Ren Sanliu and Jin Shang were long used to it.
Following her heart, facing her inner desires squarely, Ren Sanliu texted Xiang Yu—
“Have you eaten breakfast?”
