Chapter 78

By Thursday, Lou Yixuan’s leg injury had mostly healed, thanks in large part to the attentive care from Lu Lingxuan and her whole family.

At noon, she made plans to eat with Du Heming, whose upturned lips never dropped the entire time.

It wasn’t until they finished eating and left the restaurant that Lou Yixuan linked arms with her and asked, “Teacher Du, what’s got you so happy? Won’t you share with me?”

Du Heming was uncharacteristically coy, hemming and hawing for a good while. “I do want to share it with you, but… I’m a bit embarrassed, and I’m worried you’ll feel bad hearing about it.”

“Why would I feel bad about something that makes you happy?”

A spark of realization hit Lou Yixuan, and she beamed. “Is it… you and Teacher He…?”

“Shh, shh, shh!” Du Heming hurriedly hushed her, leaning in to whisper a few words.

That day, she and He Huan had kissed twice in the undisturbed stairwell, holding each other for no less than ten minutes before emerging.

Back in her dorm, she was so thrilled she couldn’t sleep. She’d thought about sharing the good news with Lou Yixuan, but Lou Yixuan was deep in her own tortured romance with Teacher Lin at the time. How could she rub her budding hot romance in the face of someone else’s heartbreak? That would be like rubbing salt in Lou Yixuan’s wounds.

She couldn’t do something so heartless—using her friend’s pain to highlight her own joy.

On Saturday, she’d invited He Huan for a leisurely stroll along a quiet riverside path, followed by dinner and afternoon tea. Throughout it all, she hadn’t impatiently demanded that He Huan declare her as her girlfriend, nor had she made any overly intimate moves toward He Huan in public.

Her “give it a try” meant letting He Huan get used to having her by her side, to doing all sorts of fun, relaxing things together.

Most importantly, it meant getting used to walking openly with a woman named “Du Heming” under the gaze of society’s judgmental eyes—loving and living fearlessly.

Once He Huan was ready, once she trusted her wholeheartedly, Du Heming believed He Huan would give her a clear answer.

Lou Yixuan had waited eight years.

She could wait too.

As long as He Huan wasn’t dating someone else, she’d wait a day for every day.

“That’s wonderful, Teacher Du. You’ve finally stopped being a little bitter melon.”

After hearing about the kissing progress, Lou Yixuan said from the bottom of her heart, “I’m genuinely happy for you. Not upset at all.”

Seeing her good friend persevere until the clouds parted to reveal the moon? She was thrilled, no time for sadness.

Far from it—she was healed by this “sun” who had reclaimed her laughter.

“But what about you, my little bitter melon? What are you going to do?”

One family’s joy, another’s sorrow.

Du Heming let out a long sigh toward the sky. “Next Friday night’s gathering… Sigh, I guess I’ll still have to sit next to you. Lou Lou, I’m not the type to forget friends for love, and neither is Teacher He.”

What they had right now was the “Platonic” stage of pure love. No matter how much desire burned in her heart, she had to hold back—couldn’t abruptly offend a beauty.

“Mm-hmm, you’re not.”

Lou Yixuan tilted her face up too, letting the sunlight bathe her. “Sit next to whoever. I’m not so fragile I can’t lose gracefully. It’s fine, Teacher Du. I’m really okay.”

Love was precious, sure, but if you couldn’t have it, did that mean dying inside, wallowing forever?

Life had so many flavors.

If romance fell short, family and friendship filled the gaps.

Before the bell rang, they parted ways at the edge of the playground—one heading to the dormitory building, the other to the art classroom.

Lou Yixuan had arrived carrying the midterm test paintings, so she hadn’t swung by the classroom to grab last week’s in-class assignments.

Today’s lecture covered the midterm results; the in-class drawings’ critiques were bundled with next week’s homework, so no rush to grade them.

But along the way, she kept wondering: What if Lin Huayan shows up later and wants me to explain it all privately again? If so, I’ll make her come listen to class herself this afternoon.

She needed to try removing Lin Huayan from her “special” list, to ease things up for both of them.

As soon as the bell rang, Lou Yixuan timed it perfectly and messaged Lin Huayan.

【Lou Yixuan: Teacher Lin, eat lunch first before coming to pick up your stuff. I’ll wait in the office. It’s just grabbing something—plenty of time at noon.】

Lin Huayan replied after two minutes: 【Okay.】

Ever since Lu Lingxuan had teased her that day about her chin sharpening to a point, Lu Lingxuan had been forcing her to weigh herself every other day.

Over the week, with everyone at home stuffing her full, her weight had improved a bit.

Up from 90 jin pre-injury to 93 jin.

The 3-jin gain wasn’t obvious. After all, last semester she’d spent a long stretch “heart at ease, body plump” from eating well, peaking at a historic 98 jin.

She’d specifically told Lin Huayan to eat first before coming because she’d noticed Lin Huayan’s chin had sharpened too.

She remembered it clearly: last year, when they’d first reconnected, Lin Huayan’s face had looked fuller than hers.

Then Lin Huayan slimmed down a bit, while she plumped up.

And now…

Lou Yixuan turned her chair to face the window.

She slipped off the camphor seed bracelet Zhang Xiao and Lin Jianlu had given her, rubbing the beads one by one like a monk with prayer beads.

Cultivating body and mind.

Some called smoothing one’s edges “maturity.”

Yet mature people smiled as they locked themselves in rooms gridded with rules, imprisoning their passion and ambitions alongside.

Lou Yixuan was confused, trapped.

She couldn’t say if she was truly “mature,” or if her handling of emotions was “mature.”

She feared the day countless independent “Lou Yixuans” would surge from the shadows, clashing fiercely with the current “her.”

This worry stemmed from not living fully as herself.

Not seizing this second chance.

Lost in closed-eye meditation for who knew how long, a knock at the door jolted her awake like from a dream, cold sweat beading her palms.

She quickly slipped the camphor seed bracelet back on her wrist, stood, and welcomed: “Teacher Lin, come in.”

She grabbed tissues to wipe her hands, then picked up the thermos and paper bag holding the glass container from the desk, offering them with both hands. “Sorry to make you come all this way.”

Lin Huayan, just like last Friday at the apartment, didn’t take them. “So eager to shoo me away? Don’t want to see me?”

“…Teacher Lin’s joking.”

Lou Yixuan awkwardly withdrew, setting them back on the desk. “You can sit and chat if you want, but I’ve gotten into the habit of napping at this hour while recovering this week. If you’d like to see the students’ midterm work, I suggest coming to class this afternoon? Just one period.”

Hearing about her recovery, Lin Huayan glanced at her left calf, hidden under loose sweatpants.

“Okay, is it the first class after lunch?”

“…Yeah, first one.” Lou Yixuan leaned against the desk, her fingertips digging into the edge until they whitened.

Not nerves—frustration.

Why would the culture class homeroom teacher attend her art class?

The class monkeys would make a huge fuss, rumors flying wilder by the minute.

She was agonizing over whether to sacrifice and just explain it at noon when Lin Huayan suddenly stepped closer, stopping half a pace away.

“Teacher Lou, do you have plans tonight?”

“Hm?” Now Lou Yixuan was nervously clawing the desk, but pinned against it, nowhere to retreat. “Evening self-study…”

“I mean dinnertime. Are you free, Teacher Lou?”

“…” Lou Yixuan’s mind and mouth screamed No, but it was like her mute point had been struck—she couldn’t utter it.

Seeing this, Lin Huayan’s lips curved like a hunter who’d snared her prey, smug and satisfied.

“From now on, every Thursday night, I’ll—”

“Teacher Lin!” Lou Yixuan cut her off loudly, without mercy. “Sorry, I don’t have time. Even if I did, I wouldn’t want to.”

Don’t want to have dinner alone with you. Don’t want Thursday dinners with you every week.

Lin Huayan was still the same.

Always dredging up old matters long after, always coaxing only after she’d gone cold and hopeless.

Wasn’t this just teasing a cat or dog?

She was willing to wait for Lin Huayan, but as a gardener who watered and fertilized—not a tail-wagging guard dog begging for scraps.

In front of Lin Huayan, she could lower her stance endlessly, but never abandon her dignity.

“Teacher Lin, I’ve always respected you—my conscience is clear on that. Maybe because of our past teacher-student bond, it’s hard for you to adjust to us being equal colleagues, hard to give me equal respect. I don’t say it doesn’t mean I don’t mind.”

“I’m not as tolerant as Teacher Du. My heart’s actually pretty small, and I remember past events crystal clear. So I don’t think the current me and you are at a stage for weekly Thursday dinners.”

They stared each other down, unyielding. Lou Yixuan’s emotions surged, anxiety and impatience building—like that irritable night at the Hot Spring Resort.

Before things escalated, she lowered her head, closed her eyes briefly, left hand fiddling with the beads on her right wrist, urging herself to calm down.

“I annoy you that much, don’t I?” Lin Huayan’s voice carried sorrow.

Because every word and tiny gesture from Lou Yixuan screamed disgust.

So this was what it felt like to be loathed by Lou Yixuan.

Slanting sunlight filtered through the window into the quiet office, gilding the frames and chairs with faint gold.

At Lin Huayan’s question, Lou Yixuan froze, her hand stilling. She slowly raised her head, eyes meeting Lin Huayan’s.

She forced a smile, frosted over, chilling Lin Huayan to the core.

“What a coincidence. I’ve wanted to ask you the same thing several times before.”

How early?

When Lin Huayan walked her back to the guesthouse but only peeked from the doorway.

When Du Heming pushed her to Lin Huayan’s door, “scaring” Lin Huayan into not even opening it.

When Lin Huayan interrogated her: You drink knowing you’re allergic? That’s your idea of ‘knowing your limits’?

When Lin Huayan scolded: Don’t use those childish tricks on me anymore.

…

An invisible force dragged Lin Huayan into a bottomless abyss.

Memories flooded like a tidal wave. The passion and longing in Lou Yixuan’s eyes back then played like a movie without pause, frame by frame.

That Lou Yixuan’s gaze had shone with spring sunlight, banishing all her gloom.

That Lou Yixuan always stole glances, drew near, secretly held her hand, linked arms, tugged her clothes—cooed at her, grinned like a child.

But now…

Those eyes held only ashes after the fire burned out.

“I’ve never been annoyed by you.”

“Really? My answer’s different.”

Lou Yixuan turned her face away, voice dropping, as if evading—or enduring.

The woman half a step away closed the gap to zero without warning.

Completely out of nowhere, Lou Yixuan was kissed by Lin Huayan again—a forceful kiss.

Lin Huayan’s left hand braced the desk by Lou Yixuan’s side, right hand pressing her nape, overwhelming her with fierce dominance as she seized her lips and tongue.

This was her first true initiative: first time actively kissing Lou Yixuan’s lips, prying open her teeth, entwining her tongue.

But Lou Yixuan reacted like a provoked beast. Once she snapped to, she bit down hard on Lin Huayan’s lip—shockingly forceful.

Then, summoning all her strength, she shoved away the woman whose lips clung unrelentingly.

The result?

Blood welled from Lin Huayan’s lip, staining Lou Yixuan’s vision—and Lin Huayan’s heart.

Lou Yixuan panted heavily, glaring at Lin Huayan in humiliated fury.

Seeing the bitten lip, a flicker of panic and regret crossed her eyes, but she quickly regained composure. “Teacher Lin, please show some self-respect.”

Lin Huayan calmly wiped it with her hand, staring at the bright red on her fingertip with a brilliant smile, her tone soft as spring breeze: “Lou Yixuan, when you kissed me those times, did you think about ‘self-respect’?”

“I…”

Lou Yixuan was furious. Those kisses? Lin Huayan had been willing, enjoying them—what self-respect?

Her mind was a mess of irritation and chaos. What game is this now?

Can’t be together, yet forcing a kiss.

Had her recent cold-shouldering and ignoring driven Lin Huayan so mad with the contrast that her brain short-circuited?

And why was Lin Huayan snapping first again?

She’d just spoken truth—which time wasn’t she the aggrieved one?

What right did Lin Huayan have to be mad?!

Lou Yixuan grabbed the items from the desk and thrust them forward again. “Teacher Lin, I need to rest. You should go.”

As for the wound on Lin Huayan’s lip…

Serves her right.

How she chose to cover it up or conceal it was Lin Huayan’s own business.

“Alright.”

This time, Lin Huayan took the items readily.

She held them in her left hand while her right hand pulled a tissue from the desk. Right in front of Lou Yixuan, she slowly wiped her mouth. A faint sting came from the spot where she’d been bitten and drawn blood.

“As expected, even the tamest, cutest little kitten will bite when it gets its hackles up.”

“…”

“Teacher Lou, you’ve bitten me twice now. Aren’t you going to take responsibility?”