As soon as Ye Can finished speaking, Lin Zixi abruptly lifted her head from her embrace. Her eyes widened, tears streaming down her face as she stared at Ye Can in utter shock.
In that shock, Ye Can once again realized that she wasn’t Lin Zixi’s Ye Can.
She gave a strained smile and said to Lin Zixi, “Although I have the same name as Ye Can, I’m not the Ye Can you knew.” She took a step back, releasing Lin Zixi and suppressing the discomfort rippling through her body. Softly, she added, “This isn’t a good place to talk. How about I drive you to the hospital first?”
Lin Zixi’s gaze followed her every move, her expression puzzled, her eyes dazed. Ye Can’s heart ached a little. She pointed to her own lips, licked them helplessly, and said, “Your lip looks like it’s busted. I think you should get it checked at the hospital.”
Ye Can reached out and tugged at Lin Zixi’s sleeve, leading her away.
Once in the car, Ye Can asked, “Miss Lin, how about the nearest district hospital?”
Lin Zixi, sitting in the back seat, shuddered at the words. She dug her nails into her palm hard, holding back for a long moment before forcing out, “You don’t remember anything, do you?”
In the enclosed space of the car, just the two of them, the air—Ye Can’s territory—was overtaken by the faint, cool fragrance wafting from Lin Zixi. As if immersed in an ocean of the other’s scent, Ye Can gripped the steering wheel, her thoughts a chaotic whirl.
Ye Can paused, choosing her words carefully. “Yeah, I did lose my memories. More precisely, I’m not the Ye Can you knew.”
Determined to explain her origins clearly, Ye Can continued, “From what I’ve investigated, about six and a half years ago, in winter, I attempted suicide—but unfortunately, I didn’t lose my life.”
“After that, another personality awoke in me—your Ye Can. To make it easier to distinguish, let’s call her Ye Can No.1.”
Ye Can heard a sob from behind. She reached for the tissues in the car and passed them back. “Miss Lin, I know this must be really hard for you right now, but please wipe your tears.”
Lin Zixi reached back, took the tissues, and softly said, “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Ye Can replied.
She didn’t turn around, but her attention drifted as faint sounds came from the back. At that moment, Ye Can’s heart felt like bubbles floating in the sunlight—drifting, suspended, then popping with a bang.
She imagined Lin Zixi must have felt the same upon hearing her words.
She was Ye Can, but not Lin Zixi’s Ye Can. To Lin Zixi, she was just a phantom of Ye Can No.1.
But who wanted to be a mere phantom?
Ye Can knew she was cruel. When she’d “killed off” Ye Can No.1, she’d doomed herself to never play that social role. For someone who loved Ye Can No.1, a Ye Can without those memories was nothing but a fake—and that was brutally cruel to both sides.
The sobs from behind gradually quieted. Ye Can continued, “Ye Can No.1 emerged after my suicide attempt six and a half years ago, up until the ski resort incident three years ago. After she vanished, I, the primary personality, awoke. So I have no memories from that period.”
Lin Zixi in the back stayed silent, just listening.
In that silence, Ye Can felt a heart-wrenching pain. She paused, then went on, “So, while I am Ye Can, I’m not the one with all those memories of you two.”
Worried it sounded too far-fetched, she added, “I know split personalities might sound insane to you, but that’s the truth as I see it. Even in the same body, different personalities mean different identities—maybe even different souls.”
“So after Ye Can No.1 disappeared, I chose to announce her social death. For me, without those memories, she wasn’t another me—she was more like a twin sister.”
Ye Can tilted her head, staring at the traffic light ahead. After a moment, she said resolutely, “I know this might be hard to accept. You might just think it’s amnesia. But… I’m really not your Ye Can.”
Lin Zixi looked up from the back seat at those words, gazing at the back of Ye Can’s head. Softly, she said, “I understand.”
Lin Zixi lifted her gaze, staring quietly at the figure in the driver’s seat—like a sovereign in imperial robes. This must be the best punishment for not recognizing her at first sight.
Ye Can’s eyes widened at the response. Huh? She understood? Just like that? Lin Zixi’s acceptance was way too quick!
Wouldn’t she think this explanation made Ye Can sound like a total nutcase?
Ye Can’s mind went blank. Then, the woman in the back seat spoke softly, “But no matter which Ye Can it is, I’m just glad she’s alive.”
“Alive—that alone makes me happy.”
Ye Can’s hands trembled slightly on the wheel, her heart fluttering. Ye Can No.1 really was lovable. Otherwise, why would someone say something so sweet just because of a similar face?
Not knowing how to respond, Ye Can followed the script: “Thank you.”
She drove Lin Zixi to the hospital.
After registering for emergency care, the doctor gave her a quick check and took some scans. Lin Zixi had a skull of steel—no concussion from that brutal impact. But one of her left teeth was loose and couldn’t be touched for a while. Her lip was split and bleeding, with bruising inside, making the left side swell slightly.
Ye Can stood to the side, arms crossed, watching coldly as the nurse cleaned the blood from Lin Zixi’s delicate lips. Her expression wasn’t great.
The reason? Lin Zixi was too thin.
Way too thin.
Perched on the chair, head tilted back, mouth open for the nurse. The harsh fluorescent lights made her already pale skin look like porcelain snow. Her slightly open collar revealed two straight, slender collarbones, thin skin clinging to bone—like a fragile porcelain doll.
Ye Can stared at her gaunt face, unconsciously digging her nails into her own arm.
She’d thought it was for the best that both had forgotten. She just hadn’t expected Lin Zixi to remember.
Life’s greatest suffering comes from things you can’t forget.
Ye Can understood that principle, so she could only imagine the torment Lin Zixi endured recalling the past.
A lover without memories, a lover declared dead with no trace—it was no different from true annihilation.
All the once-beautiful moments turned into cruel knives in recollection, slicing into her, piercing her heart.
Ye Can stood there lost in thought, arms crossed. After a while, Lin Zixi—wound treated, hand cupping her cheek—stood before her, staring blankly.
Ye Can snapped back, straightening up. “Miss Lin, where are you headed next?”
Lin Zixi cupped her cheek, turning away to block Ye Can’s view of the swelling. “To the pharmacy for some anti-inflammatories, then… home.”
Ye Can nodded, deciding to do what she could. “Alright, I’m free later. It’s on my way—I’ll drive you home.”
Lin Zixi nodded. “Thank you. Sorry for the trouble.”
“No problem,” Ye Can said.
She picked up the meds for Lin Zixi at the pharmacy, then drove her home.
On the way, Ye Can asked for her address. “Where do you live, Miss Lin?”
Lin Zixi in the back seat felt a strange sense of déjà vu. She paused, then gave her home address.
Ye Can responded naturally, “Oh, I know that area. It’s pretty close to where I lived during school.” She froze mid-sentence, suddenly recalling that Ye Can No.1 had first met her when she got a ride home.
Realizing she’d stepped on a landmine, Ye Can clamped her mouth shut and said nothing more.
The car atmosphere turned awkward, weird. After a long silence, Lin Zixi’s voice came from behind. “Why… after you woke up, did you leave without a word? Why didn’t you explain? Because you lost your memories, you figured I’d believe you were dead like everyone else?”
“But there wasn’t even a body—did you really think an official statement would convince me like the others?”
Her tone grew urgent, questions piling up, leaving Ye Can breathless.
Ye Can pursed her lips, thought for a moment, and replied, “From the info I have, I know Ye Can No.1 and you had something special. I couldn’t hide it from you.”
“So I waited until you woke up before leaving. I planned to explain, but when you did… you’d lost your memories too.”
Ye Can paused, unable to say the next part.
Lin Zixi finished for her. “You thought if both of us forgot, there was no need for contact or explanations, right?”
Ye Can nodded. “Right. Forgotten means strangers.”
Lin Zixi fell silent for a moment, then sighed softly. “You never considered I might remember, did you?”
Ye Can stayed quiet. Lin Zixi pressed, “You didn’t, right?”
Ye Can felt a wave of sorrow surging from behind, nearly drowning her.
Lin Zixi’s voice cracked with tears, a bewildered sigh. “But I… I remembered everything.”
She remembered everything. The dead king, the millennium of longing, those brief three years together—everything.
Day and night, relentlessly tormenting her to madness. Lin Zixi had wondered if she was insane, harboring memories of someone who never existed, thinking Ye Can was just a bubble-like fantasy.
But countless traces and evidence proved Ye Can wasn’t a phantom. She’d lived in this world, brilliantly, vividly.
Countless people could testify that Ye Can No.1 had once shone brightly.
How could she forget? How release it? How heal?
Ye Can felt crushed by the grief, nearly suffocating. She took a deep breath and said deliberately, “See? That’s the biggest difference between me and her.”
“I’m cruel. No empathy. I don’t sympathize like she did, don’t consider others.”
“I’m not likable.”
“So I’m not your Ye Can.”
Lin Zixi, your Ye Can is dead.
Ye Can desperately wanted to say it, but swallowed the words—they were too cruel.
Lin Zixi froze, burying her face in her hands, murmuring, “This is my karma, Ye Can… this is my…”
Punishment!
For those three hundred nights of poisoned wine she’d fed the king.
Tears surged through her fingers. Lin Zixi cradled her face, sobbing uncontrollably.
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