In those days, Qi Xu counted on her fingers waiting for Xia Zhiming to come back, while thinking about what she should say when Xia Zhiming returned. If they had met that very day, Qi Xu would have been at a loss, but she could have ridden the momentum from the incident and directly told Xia Zhiming, “Don’t worry, I’ll definitely take responsibility!”
However, so many days had passed since then, and the event seemed to have faded quite a bit. Qi Xu even needed to carefully recall it to remember the details clearly.
Although she could now deliberate over her words, the speech she had mulled over for days certainly lacked the sincerity of emotions bursting forth on the spot. Qi Xu was extremely troubled about this matter.
Yet Xia Zhiming had always been whirlwind-like. She did not send a message in advance on the day she returned. Qi Xu sat at the dining table eating when she heard the sound of the password lock outside the door. Qi Xu hurriedly set down her chopsticks, barely managing to grab a piece of paper to wipe her mouth. Just as she poked her head out, she saw Xia Zhiming already through the door, changing into slippers at the entryway.
Qi Xu wiped her mouth again, her reaction somewhat flustered.
She had not seen Xia Zhiming for so long that the memories of that day had somewhat faded with time. But the moment she laid eyes on Xia Zhiming, images of her that night involuntarily surfaced in Qi Xu’s mind. She shook those indecent thoughts out of her head with effort and took small steps over to Xia Zhiming.
Qi Xu resembled a timid little wife. When Xia Zhiming tossed her bag over, she instinctively caught it. Her first words were, “You’re back? Have you eaten dinner yet?”
“I have.”
Xia Zhiming looked somewhat fatigued, with a layer of dark circles under her eyes and her hair a bit disheveled. Even so, in Qi Xu’s eyes and heart, she remained breathtakingly beautiful. The thought that she would confess soon made Qi Xu’s little heart pound wildly.
She trailed behind Xia Zhiming like a shadow. After putting away the bag, she followed her all the way until Xia Zhiming grabbed some clothes and headed to the bathroom for a shower. Only then did Qi Xu return to the dining table, intending to continue with the takeout she had ordered earlier. But her thoughts had already drifted to Xia Zhiming; how could she have the mind to eat?
She poked at the food in her bowl with her chopsticks a couple of times, but Qi Xu really could not eat anymore. She simply set down the chopsticks, covered the container, and placed it aside to eat later when she got hungry.
After that, Qi Xu picked up her phone, but she could not focus on scrolling.
Finally, Xia Zhiming emerged, and Qi Xu immediately stuck close again. Xia Zhiming really did not want to see her acting so spineless. She frowned and directly asked, “What are you doing? Hovering around me like this.”
Qi Xu hesitated for a moment before blurting out all the words she had pondered for days.
“Xia Zhiming, although what happened that night was indeed an accident, and my mind was a complete mess without knowing why I did it, I did it, and there’s no denying that. I’ve never been in a relationship before and have never been intimate with anyone. My first time was a bit reckless, and it made you uncomfortable, but I’ll work hard to improve afterward! Please give me a chance so we can build a healthy and happy romantic relationship!”
She felt truly embarrassed saying these words. Qi Xu had never imagined she would one day confess like this—after the fact, striking first and reporting later. So as she spoke, her hands clutched the hem of her clothes, twisting it awkwardly. Her voice started calm, normal, and soft, but grew faster, her breathing unsteady, and her volume louder toward the end.
After finishing, Qi Xu slightly lifted her chin and looked at Xia Zhiming with eyes full of hopeful anticipation, eager for her affirmative response.
But who was Xia Zhiming? She let out a “heh,” still wearing soft pajamas that gave off a strong homey vibe. Yet her words were as cold as a northeastern winter— the kind that could freeze someone to death.
“Qi Xu, don’t be ridiculous. It was just one time, and now you want to move in? It’s your first time—could it be you’ve gotten a taste and now you’re hooked? Clinging to someone like this is really pathetic.” As she spoke, she approached Qi Xu and even extended a finger to lift her chin.
But her gaze was not flirtatious at all; it was like a sharp knife. The finger hooking Qi Xu’s chin held no ambiguity either—it was like a dagger pressed there, conveying only bone-chilling cold.
It was clear that Xia Zhiming was actually quite furious about that roll in the sheets.
“And you think I don’t know what you’re planning? You figured you’d stay in the Third Bureau for a few months at most, solve your own issues, then leave and return to a normal life. And you want to date me? For a few months?”
“I didn’t…” It was undeniable that Qi Xu had indeed thought that way about the former. She really did not think she could stay in the Third Bureau for long. Though the pay was good and it was government work, this line of work truly did not suit her—seeing ghosts every day! Her little heart could not handle that kind of fright.
But as for dating, Qi Xu was serious. Not the kind for just a few months—if possible, she could date Xia Zhiming for a lifetime.
She had also considered what would happen to their relationship if she quit the Third Bureau. Qi Xu thought it would be fine. She would just not be in the bureau anymore; she was not running away. After graduation, she could stay right in Xintan City. They would just have different jobs—no long-distance even.
Office romances broke up easily anyway.
Xia Zhiming said directly, “I don’t date outside the industry. This job has too much risk; people die at the drop of a hat. Why would I go mess with a normal person? Am I sick? We can fool around, you want to roll in the sheets, fine—we’re compatible that way. But dating? We’ll talk face-to-face!”
Qi Xu was stunned by Xia Zhiming’s roguish words; her face paled a bit. She immediately said, “No way, I don’t want to be a fuck buddy! I want to be your girlfriend!” Her words were crude, but the reasoning was sound. Qi Xu was no player; now that she had someone she liked, how could she settle for being just a fuck buddy?
Hearing this, Xia Zhiming felt there was nothing more to discuss. She lowered her hand and tried to brush past Qi Xu to go upstairs. But she slipped, and Qi Xu grabbed her, pinning her onto the sofa.
“I’m serious about dating! It’s not just because we rolled in the sheets!” Her face went pale then red, red then pale—a color-changing performance that nearly made Xia Zhiming laugh. Qi Xu felt embarrassed; things were not developing as she had imagined. Though she could not guess what Xia Zhiming would be like in love, as a lovestruck girl, she had fantasized that even if rejected, it would not be like this.
Her voice grew softer, but it was earnest: “It’s because… I like you.”
Xia Zhiming lay back on the sofa, her hair splayed out messily. Her face showed no expression as she just looked at Qi Xu. After a moment, she said, “Oh? What do you like about me?”
Qi Xu lowered her head, looking at Xia Zhiming with bright eyes: “A lot. For example, though you seem unreliable, you’ve saved me time and again. When I called you, you rushed over without a word. In daily life, you’re actually very caring toward me. And your smile is really nice, even though it’s mostly cold laughs or sneers, but those casual smiles are truly, really beautiful…”
She rambled on and on, each point heartfelt. But after listening for a long time, the person Xia Zhiming pictured in her mind did not seem like herself at all.
She even felt an absurd “Wait, are you really talking about me?” But Qi Xu spoke so sincerely that she truly listened for quite a while.
After Qi Xu finished, she stared at Xia Zhiming with both eyes, waiting for a response. But the reply she got was definitely not what she wanted to hear: “So you’re saying you’d like anyone who saved you? A dog could probably achieve the same effect.”
“It’s not like that…”
Qi Xu now wondered if Xia Zhiming had even listened to her. She had said so much, yet Xia Zhiming fixated only on the saving part. True, being saved was a reason—a decisive one. But Qi Xu would not like her just because she had saved her.
It was a longer-standing, purer kind of like, as if her heart had fluttered with joy from their first meeting. Before she even realized it, her heart had already begun chasing after Xia Zhiming.
“I really like you!”
Xia Zhiming looked at her for a good while and confirmed that Qi Xu truly meant it before reaching out to pat the arm propping beside her: “Got it. Get up first.”
Qi Xu also realized their position was improper, so she obediently got off the sofa as Xia Zhiming said. But the next moment, Xia Zhiming threw her onto the sofa: “This old lady’s put up with you for too long! Last time you threw me! This time you yank me! Ever thought about respecting people?!”
Qi Xu landed back-up on the sofa. The next instant, Xia Zhiming straddled her butt and twisted one of her arms behind her back. Qi Xu’s free hand slapped the sofa as she cried out, “Ow ow ow! Sorry, I didn’t mean to! I was just too anxious!”
At the same time, Qi Xu thought to herself: Xia Zhiming was no good; she had confessed so sincerely, and she was still thinking about revenge!
After tussling for about ten minutes, the two finally sat back on the sofa again. More precisely, Xia Zhiming sat on the loveseat with her legs crossed, while Qi Xu fetched a small stool—the kind for changing shoes—and sat obediently across from her, inexplicably shorter by a head.
Xia Zhiming popped a lollipop into her mouth.
She really loved lollipops, all sorts of weird flavors—mostly strawberry, but green apple, orange, and pineapple were common too. Qi Xu had even seen wasabi-flavored wrappers and sometimes wondered if that actually tasted good.
Xia Zhiming sucked on the lollipop for a bit before finally turning her attention to Qi Xu: “You really want to date me?”
“Yes.”
Xia Zhiming smiled faintly: “I said earlier, I don’t date outside the industry. If we’re dying, we die together. I can’t die and leave my lover scraping by in the world, right?”
It sounded reasonable but a bit off, so Qi Xu opened her mouth, then fell silent.
“Think it over. Would your parents be okay with you doing this job? Lives are at stake.”
