No. 32 Lost in a Maze with No Exit
Lan Zhuoyue’s funeral was scheduled for three days later, on Sunday, February 28th.
Tan Lijiang and I attended as friends.
I didn’t shed a single tear throughout the entire ceremony.
Because two days ago, Lan Zhuoyue’s mother had given me a letter. It was a short note, written in his familiar handwriting, on a plain white sheet of paper: “I’m gone. Don’t cry. Thank you.”
Tan Lijiang, on the other hand, was inconsolable.
Although he and Lan Zhuoyue hadn’t been close friends, they often played basketball and bickered after school. And after all, Tan Lijiang was just a fifteen-year-old boy. Witnessing the death of a classmate was a profound experience for anyone at that age.
Flowers bloomed and withered, dynasties rose and fell. I returned home as the setting sun cast long shadows across the city.
My father was sitting on the sofa, smoking a cigarette, his face etched with worry. He quickly extinguished it when he saw me.
He was a heavy smoker, but he rarely smoked in front of me or exposed me to secondhand smoke. It had been the same in my previous life. I vaguely remembered my mother, before she was hospitalized, telling him never to burden their child with his bad habits. So, when it came to smoking and drinking, he was surprisingly considerate.
“Yi Yao…”
He called out to me as I walked past him.
“What’s wrong?”
I took off my cap, placed it on the sofa, and sat down beside him.
I recognized his expression. He always looked like this when he had something important to discuss with me.
Unease, uncertainty, hesitation.
He was never good at hiding his emotions.
“You know about your mother’s illness. What are your plans for the future?”
He picked up an orange from the coffee table, avoiding my gaze, his voice weary.
“Plans for the future?”
Those words were all too familiar. It was a question every interviewer asked after graduation. Reputable companies used your answer to assess your character. Of course, most companies were probably just following the trend, but you still needed to have a prepared answer.
“I want to go to high school, then get into a good university.”
That was the expected answer for someone my age, I thought.
“University?”
His hand trembled, and the orange he was holding rolled onto the floor. “What kind of… university?”
“Whichever one you want me to go to.”
I knew it sounded unrealistic, considering my current situation, but I was confident I could achieve anything I set my mind to.
“Yi Yao… Dad thinks… we need to be realistic…”
He sighed deeply. “To be honest, there’s not much future for girls in higher education. If you spend a year or two at a vocational school, you’ll get a guaranteed job and some work experience. You can also help alleviate our financial burden.”
His words chilled me to the bone.
Here it was… a diverging path.
I remembered that he hadn’t said anything like this on February 28th in my previous life. I had spent the day studying, then reluctantly agreed to accompany him to a shopping street, where he bought me two new outfits.
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve never been a strong advocate for girls going to university.” He turned to me, his face shadowed in the dim light. “You’ll get married eventually, and we don’t have much money left… You understand what I’m saying, right?”
Not much money left?
But when I was a boy, he had supported me through university.
Money was just a convenient excuse. Was it really just about gender discrimination?
“I can take care of my own tuition.”
I said firmly. “Besides, I already told you, if I don’t get first place in the grade in the monthly exams, I’ll leave this house.”
“You… you’re serious?” He dropped the orange he was peeling, his hand shaking. “I was just angry. You…”
“But I’m serious.”
I nodded. “If you’re worried about money, I can help. If it’s about my grades, the monthly exams are next Wednesday. I’ll prove myself.”
“Sigh… let’s talk about it after you get your results.”
He dismissed my words, waving his hand dismissively. “Go eat your dinner.”
He was clearly in a bad mood.
Something must have happened with Mom.
He was usually critical and sarcastic towards me. Only when he was facing his own problems would he show this kind of vulnerability.
I stood up and saw him reach for a bottle of beer. “That’s not good for your health,” I said.
“I know. Just one drink today.”
He opened the bottle, brushing off my concern.
“Dad, why don’t you ask the doctor to check your liver function tomorrow when you visit Mom?”
I deliberately spoke in a soft, pleading tone, something Yi Yao would never have done.
“Please?”
“Fine.”
To my surprise, he agreed readily.
“I’ll get checked tomorrow, just to put your mind at ease. Happy now?”
He gave me a strange look, then waved his hand. “Go eat your dinner. The food is getting cold.”
“Okay~”
Was this the privilege of being a girl?
I remembered how my father in my previous life rarely listened to me. He was stubborn and set in his ways. I had expected a long and difficult argument to convince him to get a checkup.
As usual, I changed into my uniform and went to the gym after dinner.
Huang Yingdie and a few other early birds were already there.
“Good evening, Instructor.”
Huang Yingdie, who was practicing on a punching bag, greeted me, which was a first.
I stopped beside her. “How’s your shoulder?”
I noticed she was wearing a Shimakaze hair clip from the Kantai Collection anime.
“It’s completely healed.”
She delivered a powerful kick to the punching bag, then wiped the sweat from her forehead, her back still turned towards me. “Yi Yao.”
“What?”
“Who told you about that incident?”
“What incident?” I frowned. “Which one?”
“The karaoke thing with Huang Qinghao.”
I shrugged. “I’m friends with a lot of the Jiang Nan Gang members. They told me. Why?”
The bright lights above cast a long shadow behind her.
She turned to face me. “I need to talk to you after training.”
After spending weeks with her, I had a good understanding of her personality.
She was spoiled and had a bit of a princess complex. Like most girls her age, she had unrealistic expectations about love and the future. But perhaps due to her family situation, she craved excitement and rebellion. In other words, she was easily swayed by sweet talk and empty promises.
But she also had her good qualities. She was determined, strong, and kind. Especially during training, she never complained, no matter how difficult the exercises were.
For example, the stretching session after warm-up was a nightmare for most students. While everyone else was groaning in pain, she gritted her teeth and endured it silently.
Perhaps she had something she wanted to protect too.
“Instructor Zhai is absent today. I’ll be taking over his class. You all know my name, right?”
I gathered the students, seeing that it was almost time to start.
“Yes, Instructor Yao! The only female second-degree black belt instructor in Upper Capital City!”
One of the students shouted, raising his hand.
“Then I won’t waste time with introductions. Attention!”
“Bow!”
“Courtesy! Integrity! Perseverance! Self-control! Indomitable spirit!”
“At ease! Prepare for warm-up exercises!”
This wasn’t the first time Yi Yao had taught an entire class on her own.
Zhai Fangning wasn’t just named Zhai, he was also a true otaku. Anime, games, figurines—he was obsessed with all things anime.
(T/N): His surname is 翟 (Zhai), which means long-tail pheasant. However, there is another character 宅 (Zhai), pronounced the same way, that is used as a slang term for “someone who stays at home,” often associated with otaku or geek culture. In this context, the character 翟 (Zhai) is used as his surname, but the homophone 宅 (Zhai) can be used to describe his personality and interests as an otaku.
Besides being an instructor, he also had a part-time job online, which was just enough to cover his living expenses and his otaku hobbies.
This meant that he often asked me to cover for him. As he put it, “Yi Yao, you can handle a dozen kids on your own. You’re even better than me. It doesn’t really matter if I’m here or not. Be a good girl, and I’ll buy you milk tea tomorrow.”
…
At 9:30 PM, the training session ended smoothly. Thanks to my experience managing people in my previous life, I had those kids under control. As soon as the whistle blew, they collapsed onto the floor, exhausted.
“Alright, what did you want to talk about?”
I changed into my casual clothes and walked over to Huang Yingdie, who was also drenched in sweat.
She seemed hesitant. “Huang Qinghao asked me to go to karaoke with him on Friday afternoon. Just the two of us.”
“So, go.”
I feigned indifference. “You said he’s not that kind of guy, right? What’s wrong with a girl going to karaoke with her boyfriend?”
“I…” She looked down. “I was wondering… could you tell my dad that I’ll be home late on Friday?”
“Sorry, we have exams on Friday. I’ll pick you up from school after the exams.” I turned away. “You should discuss this with your father, not me.”
