Chapter 70

Her fingertip lightly tapped the bottom of the bowl. Mu Qian Tan said, “Didn’t I tell you to address me as ‘Your Honor’?”

“Okay, okay.” Shang Shan readily complied. “Do you want to drown your sorrows too, Your Honor?”

She blew on the surface of the wine liquid, stirring up fine ripples. Mu Qian Tan softly said, “The wine isn’t bad.”

Shang Shan agreed. “I don’t really understand it, but I think it’s good too—especially fragrant, not hard to drink at all.”

She slightly changed the topic, and her mind turned into a chaotic mess. She could no longer recall what she had asked earlier. She pressed her face to the ground, peered past the window lattice at the swaying sea of trees outside, and waggled her index finger, pointing at the tip of each tree. “Actually, I don’t want to kill people, and it’s not just for that reason.”

She recalled something, longing appearing in her eyes. “I’ve seen how children are born. The mother’s belly swells up huge. After several months, she gives birth—so hard, so dangerous, bringing the child into the world. Those children start out so tiny, so cute, just this big…”

She looked up at the woman and formed a circle with both hands, about the thickness of a thigh. “This big.”

Mu Qian Tan glanced over. “Something this small should be a puppy.”

“No, it’s human!” Shang Shan shook her head vigorously, then sighed. “They all start out about the same size when born. So why do some people… turn bad when they grow up?”

Mu Qian Tan said, “Born but not raised, raised but not taught.”

Shang Shan said, “That’s right! Their parents don’t teach them! They just let them grow up bad. And, and I feel… um… how to put it?”

She had a thousand words she wanted to say, but hampered by her ability to express them, she couldn’t spit them out directly. She could only hug her head in contemplation, racking her brains. After a long while, she tentatively said, “If I prepare a duck and just leave it there without eating it or tending to it, it will spoil and start to stink. That means dead meat rots, right? But I’ve realized people do too. People are just a lump of meat. A living person is living meat—fine under normal circumstances. But if the heart goes bad, even while alive, it will slowly rot and start to stink.”

Mu Qian Tan lowered her brows. “What nonsense is that?”

“What do you mean! I think it makes some sense. You’re not even listening seriously! I’m done talking!”

Shang Shan lay down properly and slept in a huff.

She slept for a bit but couldn’t fall asleep. She lifted her head to look.

Moonlight alone flowed through the room, hazy and cold as frost. The woman was too slender, on the verge of melting into the moonlight and drifting away. Shang Shan’s heart jolted. She abruptly grabbed the hem of the woman’s trailing skirt and suddenly said, “I think life is beautiful.”

At it again? Mu Qian Tan said in bewilderment, “Hm?”

Shang Shan pointed outside the window. “Look over there. Every tree, every butterfly, every flower—to be born into the world, to grow up, it’s not easy at all. It’s beautiful too. I’ve seen cocoons break into butterflies with my own eyes. I’ve seen flowers bloom. The moment life blossoms, it’s even more beautiful.”

“…” Mu Qian Tan took a sip of wine and asked, “Have you seen predation?”

Shang Shan was momentarily stunned. Mu Qian Tan continued, “Those beautiful lives you’ve seen—they must have consumed other lives to survive and sustain that beauty.”

A clear breeze swept over the treetops of the forest, causing the deep green leaves to sway with a rustling sound. Shang Shan said, “Oh, so that’s how it is.”

It seemed beautiful but was actually cruel. Something deep in her heart felt extremely uncomfortable. She simply lifted the wine jar and chugged a big mouthful. All those chaotic thoughts vanished, leaving only vast emptiness.

The girl beside her, who had drunk wine, was burning hot all over. Even from a distance, it felt like she was on fire. Mu Qian Tan coldly said, “Prepare to return to the sect tomorrow. If you can’t get up, stay here by yourself.”

Shang Shan said, “Got it? Got it, got it!”

She had all this fiery energy with nowhere to vent. The woman looked like a block of ice—probably cool if she got close—but she was more likely to get beaten. Shang Shan hesitated for a moment, then stood up on her own. She flailed her arms wildly, leaped out the window, and crashed heavily to the ground below, startling countless flying birds.

Mu Qian Tan: “…What is she doing?”

Li Biyuan said, “Mm… Drunk dragon practicing drunken fist. Don’t bother arguing with a drunk person.”

It was only the second floor; a fall like that wouldn’t amount to much. Shang Shan landed headfirst with a splat, which cleared her mind a bit. She stared at the soft half-moon on the horizon for a moment, then crawled to her feet to head back. Suddenly, she spotted a blue little flower by the dirt path, overflowing with fragrance and hosting a butterfly. Her heart leaped with joy. She scaled the wall back up to the second floor.

She grabbed the window lattice, about to call her over to see. Shang Shan had just shouted “Master” once when the hand she had extended slowly lowered.

The room held only the wine bowl now. The person was gone.

The next day, after waking, Mu Qian Tan went downstairs for breakfast. She was halfway through her porridge when Shang Shan finally staggered down from upstairs. She looked like she hadn’t slept a wink all night—unusually low in energy. She had just sat at the table when she slammed her head onto the surface and passed out cold.

Mu Qian Tan swallowed the porridge in her mouth and eyed her. “I’ll count to three. If you don’t get up, walk back to the sect yourself. One, three.”

“Ah!” Shang Shan jolted awake. “That’s cheating!”

Mu Qian Tan said, “I’ll give you ten minutes… one cup of tea’s time. Finish breakfast, and we depart. I won’t wait for you.”

She knew this woman always followed through on her word. Shang Shan had no choice but to squint blearily, grab buns from the table without looking, and stuff them into her mouth. Her cheeks bulged hugely as she choked them down with sips of thin porridge.

In the span of one cup of tea, she polished off five steamers of buns and three fried dough sticks. Then she lay on the table and wailed mournfully for a bit before the woman agreed to have food packed for her. She excitedly hefted the takeout and hopped onto White Pupil’s back.

As they soared into the high sky, East City shrank smaller and smaller below—but the streets still showed more flowing figures. The officials must have announced the glamour corpse’s capture. People cooped up at home for months could finally come out for air.

Shang Shan bit into a bun and sighed. “Although I wasn’t here long, it feels like I’ve grown attached. I’m a little reluctant to leave.”

Mu Qian Tan sat primly on the crane’s back. Her ice-blue long skirt spread out. Strands of hair whipped by the wind across her thin, jade-like face, lending her an otherworldly chill. She parted her lips. “Easily formed attachments fade just as easily. After flying a dozen li, you’ll have forgotten.”

Shang Shan said, “No way! I’ll stay moved for a long, long time.”

Mu Qian Tan fell silent. Shang Shan asked, “Right, Master—how’s your injury?”

These past couple days had been a bit exhausting. She had changed the bandages yesterday, but it hadn’t improved much. She’d have to recuperate slowly once back. Mu Qian Tan lifted her eyelids. “Not dead yet.”

“Oh…”

They flew through the skies for several days and finally returned to the sect. After the civil and martial trials, things had returned to their normal rhythm—sparsely populated, just as before she left. Quiet serenity flowed through every corner of the sect.

As usual, Mu Qian Tan would drop by Penglai Hall to chat with Panxiang Yin about recent events. But this outing hadn’t been mission-related, so there was no need for a report. She skipped the process and flew straight back to Narrow Sea.

However, she spotted an unexpected person in front of Azure Palace.

The crane descended. Mu Qian Tan looked at the woman in the courtyard and was slightly taken aback. “Sect Master?”

Standing before that thin stone chair was none other than Panxiang Yin.

She had probably just emerged from the hall. She wore only a white lightweight shirt that draped to her ankles, embroidered with a white crane with its head raised and wings spread as if about to take flight. A black sash cinched her waist, from which two red beads dangled—giving her a far more casual air.

Her hands clasped behind her back, she stood beside several crates of medicines and food. She turned to look over. “Back?”

Mu Qian Tan wasn’t surprised to have been found out about the trip, but she truly hadn’t expected Panxiang Yin to come all the way to Azure Palace to catch her. Unsure of her mood, she simply replied, “Mm.”

Panxiang Yin chuckled lightly. “You vanished without a word. Ran away from home?”

Faint traces of age marked her face—fine lines at the corners of her eyes. Her gaze was steady and tolerant. She spoke slowly, with a smile, as if lecturing a sulky younger generation. If anyone else had made that guess, Mu Qian Tan would have smeared their face. But facing someone who could swat her dead with a wave, she knew when to bow her head.

“No, I just took my disciple out for training.”

She dragged the person beside her forward. Shang Shan bowed. “Greetings, Sect Master.”

Panxiang Yin said, “Mm. You look spirited.”

Shang Shan grinned wide. Then she spotted her makeshift stove under the big tree behind the woman—now completely renewed. She cried out in delight, “Wow! Sect Master, you’re such a good person!”

She dashed to the stove, scooped up a bundle of neatly cut new firewood from the ground, ran her hand over the smooth stove surface, buried her head in the brand-new large pot, and rapped hard on the lid—creating a noisy clang. She was already imagining what dishes she could cook here, brimming with excitement.

No need to guess who was behind it. Mu Qian Tan said, “Sect Master, there was really no need.”

Panxiang Yin replied, “You need to eat properly. Don’t make me worry about something like this.”

It had been centuries since she’d heard words like that. Mu Qian Tan slightly averted her gaze. “I am eating.”

Panxiang Yin asked, “Was the medicine for your injury useful?”

Mu Qian Tan said, “Yes. Thank you, Sect Master.”

Before the woman could respond, Mu Qian Tan looked back—and caught the teasing glint in her eyes. She heard a helpless tone. “Still angry, huh?”

Mu Qian Tan choked. Was she being treated like a petulant child? She immediately said, “I’m not angry.”

Back in the Grading Pavilion, under unfavorable circumstances, she had borrowed Panxiang Yin’s pity over the “goddaughter” title—playing up the grievance of being untrusted. The effect had been quite good.

But who could have guessed Panxiang Yin would take it so seriously? First guilt-driven medicines, now a new stove. She even thought the outing was running away from home. Was the original host the type to inspire such easy associations?

She needed to halt this bizarre situation. Mu Qian Tan felt the issue lay in the form of address, so she said, “Really not. You’ve always treated me so well. Yao’e knows that. In her heart, she feels only gratitude toward her godmother—nothing else.”

Unclear if she bought it, Panxiang Yin merely hummed and raised her hand. “Let godmother take a look at your current condition.”

Mu Qian Tan didn’t think twice. She rolled up her sleeve a bit and offered a hand. Panxiang Yin placed three fingers on her pulse. After her even-knuckled fingers shifted for a moment, she said, “Do you realize how poor your physical condition is?”

It was bluntly put without mincing words. The situation must truly be dire.

Mu Qian Tan was well aware, of course. Frequent headaches and fevers, sudden weakness and coughing fits—to draw a large bow, she even needed a magical artifact. She hardly seemed like a reasonably powerful hall master. She knew all that, but having it stated to her face still brought an indescribable shame. She defended herself. “I’ll train later…”

Catching those mosquito-like words, Panxiang Yin said, “Perfect. That’s exactly why I came to find you.”

Mu Qian Tan said, “Hm?”

Panxiang Yin said, “Once your injury heals, I plan to have you train physical fitness together with the other hall masters.”