Chapter 36: My Hand Is Stuck

It had been over ten days since Shen Yuezhuang had last seen Liu Yun, since they had parted ways at Precious Flower Temple.

Logically, she should be the one in the right this time!

Liu Yun had thrown her inexplicable tantrum. Shen Yuezhuang had warmed her bed, run errands, and even obediently stayed quiet when she didn’t get to go to the Ten Thousand Flowers Pavilion.

To be honest, Shen Yuezhuang felt that if Liu Yun still had complaints, she was being very unreasonable.

But what happened? She only jokingly kissed Liu Yun, and Liu Yun got angry.

It was just playing around! No matter how you looked at it, it was Liu Yun who should be reflecting on why she had such a short fuse, right?

Yet, the more Shen Yuezhuang thought about it afterwards, the more guilty she felt.

She didn’t know what she was feeling so guilty about. She could only chalk it up to the lingering effects of all those years of unthinking trust in Liu Yun, so much so that whenever Liu Yun got angry, she would instinctively feel she had done something wrong.

Yep, it was a sickness. She needed a cure!

But… even to cure a sickness, she had to eat. So Shen Yuezhuang followed the Emperor to the Longevity Palace.

The moment she stepped through the gates of the Longevity Palace, Shen Yuezhuang kept her head down, following behind the Emperor, focusing only on the grey bricks beneath her feet, reciting a mantra in her heart.

Eat and leave. Eat and leave. Eat and leave.

In the main hall, Liu Yun was seated, dressed in a dark rust-red embroidered silk robe bearing auspicious clouds. She held a book in one hand and a string of beads in the other. Her expression was wooden and impassive.

Behind her was a large, square rosewood screen, its warm, dark hue carved with auspicious clouds, flowers, and birds. Amidst the curling, ethereal smoke of sandalwood, it created an atmosphere of somber majesty and deep, silent loneliness.

Although Liu Yun was young, she did not seem out of place sitting there. Her face, too young for the experience she carried, had a perfect veneer of detachment and lifelessness. To the palace attendants, the entire scene seemed a perfect tableau.

When a eunuch announced the Emperor’s arrival, Liu Yun let out a quiet breath. She subtly moved her neck and slowly set the book aside.

From a distance, she saw that flash of dazzling vermilion hiding and brightening behind the imperial yellow dragon robe. Fingers which held the prayer beads stopped moving.

It was an official robe!

As the figure approached, coming fully into view, Liu Yun’s heart leaped. Her calm expression cracked like a sheet of ice. Amidst the breathtaking shock, Li Jianyun could even discern a hint of panic in her face!

Panic?

Li Jianyun suppressed his triumphant, showy demeanor with a look of keen interest. His gaze shifted behind him to Shen Yuezhuang.

Since entering the room, Shen Yuezhuang had been trying her best to appear calm and unruffled. Now, standing still, she kept her eyes lowered.

Had they argued again? No wonder someone had been so grumpy in the palace these past few days!

It looks like this trip wasn’t a waste after all!

With the intention of watching the drama unfold, Li Jianyun clasped his hands in a formal bow. “Greetings, Mother Empress.”

Shen Yuezhuang, copying her homework, also cupped her hands. “Greetings, Empress Dowager.”

“…” Li Jianyun looked at her with silent exasperation. He glanced back.

What’s wrong? Your mother isn’t my mother. At least I got the title right this time!

Shen Yuezhuang blinked back at him.

I’m wrong? Did I miss something?

Li Jianyun’s gaze dropped to her unbending knees.

Are you stupid? You used the wrong form of address!

An official was supposed to kneel in greeting to the Empress Dowager. Since when could she follow the Emperor’s example?

Shen Yuezhuang finally realized her mistake and was about to drop to her knees when the Empress Dowager stood up first and ordered the meal to be served.

This cut short the friendly exchange between sovereign and subject, and the stage was once again set for the Emperor and Empress Dowager’s highly artificial display of filial piety.

There were still over a dozen palace attendants standing silently in the hall, so Li Jianyun and Liu Yun had to make a show of things.

Shen Yuezhuang followed half a step behind, watching as Li Jianyun dutifully asked Liu Yun about her sleep and appetite, warned her about the summer heat, and suggested a stroll through the Imperial Garden to see the flowers in full bloom.

To others, this might have looked like a display of filial piety. But to Shen Yuezhuang, it was like watching two childhood friends play-act, with one calling the other “Mother Empress.” She didn’t see filial piety; she saw comedy!

Shen Yuezhuang bit down hard on her cheeks to keep from laughing, but a snort escaped her anyway.

The two figures ahead didn’t turn back, pretending not to hear the sound behind them.

Finally, the three took their seats, and the meal was served.

During the meal, Liu Yun and Li Jianyun had a harmonious and warm discussion about arranging the palace consorts and their ranks. In the end, the conversation focused on the issue of the Empress.

Originally, with Pei Shangyu out of the palace, the throne of the Central Palace was almost certain to fall to He Dan. But for some reason, the Emperor was not ready to directly establish an Empress. Instead, he wanted to make He Dan a Noble Consort, who would temporarily manage the affairs of the rear palace on his behalf.

This matter had already spread throughout the court. The talk was that the Emperor was wary of the Left Chancellor’s political influence, and by extension, wary of He Dan. But in the end, the consensus was that the Emperor had been angered by the Left Chancellor’s heated opposition to his plan to war with the Xiongnu.

Later, on the day of the Palace Examination, the Emperor had originally assigned the Left Chancellor a role as an examiner, but the Chancellor had feigned illness and declined. Since then, even his own daughter was implicated.

Of the four women who achieved Grade A in the Preliminary Selection Exam, Shen Yuezhuang and Pei Shangyu were now serving as Rank 5b female officials in the Six Ministries. Gu Qingzhi was quickly appointed to a Consort rank. He Dan, who was originally poised to be the Empress, had become the only one still in limbo.

The court had been buzzing about this for a long time. But Shen Yuezhuang, whose head was full of nothing but collecting debts, only thought of this now when she overheard the gossip firsthand.

She strained her ears, waiting to hear the Emperor’s own explanation. But the two of them exchanged a look and fell silent, as if they both already knew the truth.

Shen Yuezhuang, who heard nothing: “…”

I really hate their useless unspoken understanding. It makes my gossip completely pointless!

Getting no answer, Shen Yuezhuang asked directly.

“Your Majesty, do you not intend to establish an Empress?” She paused, then, choosing her words more carefully, added, “Sister Pei has already left the palace. Your Majesty should cherish the one who remains.”

The public speculation about the Emperor not naming an Empress was varied. Besides He Dan being implicated by her father, there were also many who said that the Emperor had originally stated he was holding the selection to find an Empress. Now that he hadn’t chosen one, it meant the woman he wanted to be Empress either hadn’t entered the palace, or had entered and then left again.

There were two widely known women who had entered and then left the palace: one was Shen Yuezhuang, the other Pei Shangyu.

That settled it. There could only be one possibility!

His Majesty was in love with Miss Pei. But Miss Pei was unwilling to be tied down in the rear palace. His Majesty gave up his love and let her go, but in his heart, only she could occupy the throne of Empress. So, he left it vacant for her. What a deep and true love!

Shen Yuezhuang’s question was quite subtle, roughly meaning, “Pei Shangyu didn’t choose you. Don’t pine for a lost love.”

The Emperor’s reaction was equally direct. The words “Are you out of your mind?” were practically written across his face.

Seeing that this “Mother-Son harmony” was about to become “sovereign-minister discord,” Liu Fushun bowed and entered.

“Your Majesty, the Marquis of Yongding inspected the military camp yesterday and returned to the city today. He is currently waiting in the Imperial Study to report on his duties.”

Shen Yuezhuang: “!!!!!!!”

~~~

Thanks to her ever-diligent and dedicated father, Shen Yuezhuang’s plan to “eat and leave” was foiled.

Her father was now in the palace. Her sedan chair was parked at the South Gate. To get there, she had to pass the front hall. She had no idea how long her father’s report would take. It was very possible that if she left now, she would run right into him!

With her father’s temper, once he caught her, he’d probably give her a beating right there at the palace gates, without even waiting to get home!

To be safe, she had to wait until her father had left before she could sneak out.

She could delay the beating, at least for a little while.

So, Shen Yuezhuang, clutching a bowl with three grains of rice left, used the excuse that she hadn’t finished her meal yet to see off the gloating Emperor, who was enjoying her misfortune. Then, she sat awkwardly across the table from Liu Yun.

Awkward as it was, it was better than getting beaten.

After all, times had changed. In the past, her father would just scare her, and Liu Yun was the one who actually hit her.

Now, she didn’t know if Liu Yun would hit her, but she was certain her father really did want to break her legs!

Choosing face over her legs, but ultimately opting for shamelessness, Shen Yuezhuang stayed in the Longevity Palace until the food and tea had gone cold.

The two sat there in silence, not saying a word. From start to finish, Shen Yuezhuang didn’t even glance Liu Yun’s way!

Silence was the prelude to today’s awkwardness. It was Liu Yun who finally broke the prelude.

She let out a light sigh. Her face held a wry, helpless smile.

“Ruixue, go to the Imperial Study and find out if Lord Shen has left yet.”

“Yes.”

Ruixue, who also hadn’t spared Shen Yuezhuang a single look, turned and left briskly.

Shen Yuezhuang stretched her neck, watching Ruixue’s figure disappear into the courtyard before letting out a sigh of relief.

While relaxing, her glance swept over Liu Yun.

Well, at least she offered an opening, didn’t she? Shen Yuezhuang seized the chance to come down with grace.

“You’ve been busy lately, Your Highness?”

Liu Yun didn’t look well. There were dark circles under her eyes, a slight pallor to her complexion. She looked like she hadn’t slept well, listless and tired.

Shen Yuezhuang’s eyes swept discreetly over the hall’s furnishings.

Precious, yet carrying a musty, decrepit air.

Liu Yun was young, but Shen Yuezhuang felt that too long spent in this place had made her take on some of its deadness. It only made her dislike the items in this hall even more.

Shen Yuezhuang asked her question. This time, it was Liu Yun who avoided her gaze. She was sitting sideways to Shen Yuezhuang, her slim figure wrapped in the heavy palace robes. The dark red silk looked like dried bloodstains, making the heart feel heavy and oppressed whenever one saw it.

Perhaps it was Shen Yuezhuang’s imagination, but she felt that Liu Yun’s normally straight back was a little hunched, as if it couldn’t bear the heavy burden. Her form was slightly despondent.

Her pale fingers never stopped spinning the prayer beads. Her tone was dismissive. “It’s acceptable.”

But Shen Yuezhuang felt she was just being stubborn. If she weren’t so overwhelmed, why would she be so eager for the Emperor to quickly establish the Central Palace?

And why work herself into a state like this?

Shen Yuezhuang was about to say something else when she saw Ruixue had already returned.

Her face full of hope, Shen Yuezhuang looked at Ruixue. “Has he left?”

“No.” Ruixue’s voice was cold. “He’s coming.”

Shen Yuezhuang: “???”

Ruixue then addressed Liu Yun. “I only got halfway there when I saw the Marquis of Yongding heading for the Longevity Palace. He said he hadn’t seen Her Grace the Empress Dowager for some time and came to pay his respects.”

Shen Yuezhuang: “!!!!!!!”

Bullshit! That’s absolute bullshit!

It had only been about ten days since he had gone to Precious Flower Temple on behalf of the three armies to kowtow to the gods. The Empress Dowager was at the temple then too. It was at most ten days! What “long time” was he talking about?

He was clearly planning a surprise attack! He wouldn’t even let her hide with the Empress Dowager!

Ruixue twisted the knife deeper. “Your Highness, he is currently outside the main hall, waiting for your summons.”

Shen Yuezhuang was so panicked she was sweating. Liu Yun stood up leisurely, pressing a hand on the frantic Shen Yuezhuang’s shoulder. “Even your own father scares you like this?”

Of course! If he weren’t my father, would he hit me so hard?

Liu Yun’s eyes curved in a smile at her antics, though the corners of her mouth turned down in a look of disdain. “If you don’t want to see him, just hide. Why sit here like an idiot?”

~~~

The wide screen hid Shen Yuezhuang well enough, but the openwork on its base and frame still showed hints of the vermillion robe.

Liu Yun walked over unhurriedly, picked up the book, rolled it into a tube, and tapped it on Shen Yuezhuang’s head as she peered out.

“Get back.”

After tapping her, Liu Yun sat down in front. Her downcast eyes shimmered with a flicker of amused relief.

The palace attendants had cleared away the leftover food. Another screen was set up in front.

Only then did Shen Yuezhuang feel a little safer. She watched her father enter the hall and bow to Liu Yun through the screen.

“I haven’t seen Her Grace the Empress Dowager for some time. I came to the palace today to pay my respects specially.”

Shen Yuezhuang gave a soft “hmph,” mouthing silently, Bullshit!

She listened to the two of them exchange pleasantries. It was a long time before her father finally got to the point.

“I heard from His Majesty that my daughter is here, reporting her progress to Your Highness. Hah, that unruly girl must have caused Your Highness no end of trouble.”

Liu Yun gave a light laugh. “The Marquis is too kind. His Majesty is busy with affairs of state. Miss Shen is now one of the few female officials in the court. There are some matters that are inconvenient to report directly to His Majesty. I am glad to help where I can.”

The Marquis made an exaggerated gesture, looking towards the gate of the palace. “His Majesty said my daughter was here with Your Highness. I wonder why I haven’t seen her? To be honest with Your Highness, I haven’t seen her in a long time, and I miss her dearly!”

The last few words were practically ground out through his teeth. Shen Yuezhuang shivered at the sound. Then she heard Liu Yun say from the front, her tone still calm, “She did have lunch at the Longevity Palace.”

Shen Yuezhuang’s heart tightened. Her arm shot through the openwork gap at the base of the screen and poked the Empress Dowager right in the small of her back!

This demon is trying to get me caught!

Liu Yun’s back stiffened. She grabbed Shen Yuezhuang’s restless hand, shot a glare back at her, steadied her breathing, and managed a smile. “But that was over an hour ago. Lord Shen said she had official business to attend to this afternoon and left the palace quite early. I imagine she and the Marquis must have just missed each other?”

Her father’s laugh was filled with a chilling grimness. It was obvious he could tell Shen Yuezhuang was still in the hall. After making his not-so-veiled threats that she had to come home tonight, he finally took his leave.

The cup of tea that had been served to the Old Marquis slowly went cold. No one spoke in the hall for a long time.

Liu Yun was still holding Shen Yuezhuang’s finger that had poked her. Maybe Shen Yuezhuang was too scared to remember to pull her hand back after all this time. Liu Yun, with her back to Shen Yuezhuang, held that piece of soft warmth.

With her back to her, many things seemed easier to say. Besides, Shen Yuezhuang looked utterly pathetic right now. Liu Yun gently squeezed her hand, her tone becoming uncharacteristically soft.

“Still angry?” Liu Yun bit her lower lip. “Shouldn’t I be the one who’s angry? Why are you holding such a big grudge?”

Her tone was so innocent that it made Shen Yuezhuang furious. She pounded heavily on the screen. “What do you mean, you should be the one who’s angry? You didn’t even let me through the doors of the Ten Thousand Flowers Pavilion that night, and I didn’t make a fuss, did I? I just made a few jokes on the way back to the temple, and you got angry over that, and now you’re blaming me?!”

Shen Yuezhuang couldn’t figure it out for the life of her. After her anger subsided, she noticed that the hand holding hers was terribly cold, its icy fingers brushing over hers one by one.

Her anger seemed to be brushed away along with those touches. Plus, Liu Yun had just helped her escape her father’s wrath. She didn’t have that much anger left to vent. Instead, she started thinking about how good Liu Yun had been to her.

“You were the one who got angry first!” Shen Yuezhuang’s tone had already softened. “If you’re unhappy, fine! I’ll let you kiss me back!”

Time after time, Liu Yun’s heart barely stirred at those words now. She swallowed a sigh and the bitterness in her heart silently, choosing not to say anything more.

After a moment of silence, Liu Yun dropped the subject and tugged on Shen Yuezhuang’s arm. “Your father’s gone. Why aren’t you coming out?”

Shen Yuezhuang was silent for a long time, then said, “… I can’t.”

Liu Yun: “???”

Shen Yuezhuang twisted her wrist. “My hand is stuck.”

Liu Yun: “…”