“Si Nanyu, would you even go after a married woman?”
The moment Wen Qingyan’s words fell, she saw disbelief flood Si Nanyu’s eyes.
Only then did she realize, belatedly, that she had spoken too harshly.
She shouldn’t have let her emotions get the better of her, even temporarily.
Si Nanyu wasn’t that kind of person. She loved to play and joke around, sometimes without a care in the world.
But when it came to feelings, she was absolutely loyal, and when her affection ran deep, she could go overboard.
There were times Wen Qingyan couldn’t bear it, which was why she felt such a tangled mix of love and resentment toward her.
“Sorry…”
“I said the wrong thing.”
As soon as Wen Qingyan apologized, Si Nanyu’s surprised expression vanished. Instead, she let out a soft, wounded sound and lowered her eyes, looking wronged.
Somehow, that only made Wen Qingyan feel worse.
She was cold and straightlaced by nature, a person of strict black and white.
Right was right, wrong was wrong, and she could apologize for a careless remark. But she genuinely couldn’t understand Si Nanyu’s behavior.
Chatting so closely with someone she barely knew.
Wasn’t she afraid… that the other person might not be a good person?
Right. She wasn’t afraid.
In Xu Jinghao’s words, Si Nanyu was an extrovert, while she herself… could be spotted as an introvert at a glance.
Wen Qingyan had no idea how Xu Jinghao had reached that conclusion, and she didn’t care what category she fell into. But she knew exactly what kind of person Si Nanyu was, and Xu Jinghao had been right.
Si Nanyu was eloquent and socially gifted. Except when facing her…
Except when facing her, it was as if she lost the ability to communicate altogether.
Days of cold war had drained Wen Qingyan of much of her energy, so the moment an unpleasant thought surfaced, she filtered it out automatically and let her gaze settle on Si Nanyu’s hands.
After unlocking the fingerprint lock, she said, “Come in. Weren’t we making Spicy Crab?” With that, she reached out to take the bags from Si Nanyu’s hands.
Worried that they were heavy and still wet from the water, Si Nanyu instinctively dodged away, but she hadn’t expected Wen Qingyan to be surprisingly strong. The bags were nearly torn in the tugging, and in the end she could only hand over the lighter one.
The two entered one after the other, and just as the groceries were set down in the kitchen, the pet shop staff delivered Ribs back home.
Both Wen Qingyan and Si Nanyu worked, so they had found a reliable pet shop. On workdays, the staff would pick Ribs up in the morning and bring her back after hours.
Ribs was a well-behaved dog and got along wonderfully with the shop’s staff.
She just refused to warm up to Si Nanyu, and was even a little afraid of her.
Si Nanyu had tried every trick she could think of these past few days, and the best she’d managed was getting Ribs to stop scurrying away from her.
So when the dog came home, Si Nanyu tactfully stepped aside to make room for Wen Qingyan. “You go feed her. I’ll cook.”
However you looked at it, Wen Qingyan had been the one who said she wanted the dog, then hadn’t taken much responsibility afterward. It was hard not to feel guilty about that.
So Si Nanyu channeled her guilt into effort and threw herself into making an especially lavish dinner.
Spicy Crab, Braised Beef Brisket with Potatoes, Stir-Fried Cabbage, and Spinach with Aged Vinegar and Peanuts.
Salty, spicy, and sour. Meat and vegetables alike, a rich spread of flavors.
Sure enough, Wen Qingyan ate half a bowl more rice than usual. After dinner she still washed the dishes, then went out to walk the dog.
But this time, Si Nanyu wanted to tag along. She followed behind her, calling out, “Teacher Wen…”
“I want to come with you.”
Wen Qingyan lifted her eyelids slightly and didn’t agree.
Si Nanyu straightened her back even further, studied Wen Qingyan for a long moment, then worked up the courage to ask the question that had been weighing on her. “Were we… always like this with each other? Before?”
Five days of living together, and before she could even ask this question, she had already gone and made Wen Qingyan angry. But really, it wasn’t hard to guess.
Wen Qingyan was cold to her.
She honestly couldn’t imagine how the two of them had ever ended up here.
Her mind swirled with confusion, spiraling into wild speculation.
When Wen Qingyan stayed silent for a long while, she tried again. “Don’t tell me it was a marriage of convenience?”
“What could you possibly need from me that required a contract marriage?”
“Neither of us is from some wealthy dynasty.”
“And… if you’ve forgotten it, then it must be something that wasn’t worth remembering in the first place.”
Wen Qingyan was either silent or left Si Nanyu utterly speechless.
Every sentence sounded so reasonable that there was nothing to argue against.
They stood facing each other in silence for a moment. Then Wen Qingyan turned to walk away. Watching her back, Si Nanyu couldn’t stop thinking… Wen Qingyan simply didn’t want to talk about it. She was probably the type who would never say, no matter how she asked.
But why?
If there really were no feelings involved, then…
“Stop letting your imagination run wild. We are lawfully wedded wives. Mutual consent, protected by law. Unless we both voluntarily file for divorce, then…”
Wen Qingyan said it with her back turned, and even she didn’t seem to know how that sentence was supposed to end.
In any case, she simply knew that Si Nanyu was bound to let her mind wander into all kinds of nonsense.
She was too lazy to explain, but that didn’t mean she wanted Si Nanyu jumping to wild conclusions.
As far as she was concerned, the amnesia was still an open question. Even if it weren’t… she still wouldn’t want to talk about it.
She couldn’t bring herself to lay bare all those years of love for Si Nanyu. It was too embarrassing. Besides, it felt… unnecessary.
If Si Nanyu remembered, then she remembered. And if she didn’t…
If she didn’t…
Wen Qingyan still couldn’t work out the answer. All she felt was a suffocating weight in her chest, and her eyes were slowly growing damp. In the end, she cleared her throat and said to Si Nanyu behind her, “Just rest at home. Thanks for the trouble with dinner.”
Wen Qingyan left.
Only Si Nanyu remained in the vast apartment.
Her personality was a strange one. Outwardly, she could talk to anyone about anything, but the more she cared, the harder it became to speak. Having been shut out by Wen Qingyan, she felt awful, yet she didn’t dare ask again.
Like a turtle retreating into its shell, she sat hugging her knees on the tatami by the floor-to-ceiling window, watching Wen Qingyan down below.
She was so gentle with Ribs, a tenderness that was rare for her, and Ribs was joyful in her company, bouncing and circling around her.
For Si Nanyu, this place was ten years in the future, yet traces of her were everywhere.
She loved the floor-to-ceiling windows, loved the tatami, loved Labradors, loved… Wen Qingyan.
With so much of herself here, Si Nanyu still felt an indescribable loneliness.
She watched the woman and dog outside the window until she could no longer see them clearly, then buried her head between her knees.
Her mind went blank. She wasn’t thinking of anything, and at the same time thinking of everything and nothing.
The ring of her phone, the faint sound of footsteps upstairs, all of it was blocked out automatically.
Including…
The sound of Wen Qingyan coming back from walking the dog.
“Why didn’t you pick up when Mom called?”
Wen Qingyan was slightly out of breath, her voice edged with urgency. Her expression wasn’t pleasant when she saw Si Nanyu sitting there, deflated and dazed.
“I… I didn’t hear it,” Si Nanyu explained in a small voice, pulling out her phone to check. Wen Qingyan cut her off. “Nothing important. Mom wants us home for dinner tomorrow.”
“I’m going to wash up and sleep. You should turn in early too.”
Having said her piece, Wen Qingyan gave Si Nanyu no chance to respond. She wiped Ribs’s paws, refilled the water bowl, and returned to her own room.
That night.
Si Nanyu failed to fall asleep again.
Before bed, she had replied to Qin Hua’s message, only to receive a scolding from head to toe. Once the lecture was over, Qin Hua asked how things were going between her and Wen Qingyan.
How were things?
Not great…
Si Nanyu was still turning it over in her mind as she lay down. She didn’t drift off until the sky had barely begun to lighten, and then she overslept…
Shuffling groggily toward the dining table, she had assumed Wen Qingyan would already be gone, only to find her sitting there, unhurriedly eating breakfast.
Xiaolongbao, vegetable congee, fried dough sticks and tofu pudding.
The things each of them liked.
“Awake? Wash up, eat breakfast, then head to work.”
Wen Qingyan made no mention of going in together, so Si Nanyu naturally headed for her bike…
But Wen Qingyan stopped her. “Nanyu, ride with me. We’ll go to Mom’s place together tonight.”
“Oh, okay.”
Because she’d been invited, Si Nanyu’s lovestruck brain kicked right back in. A whole night of tangled feelings dissolved into thin air, and in the car she kept sneaking glances at Wen Qingyan.
It wasn’t until they stopped at a red light that Wen Qingyan suddenly said, “Dinner was a lot of work for you last night.”
Only then did Si Nanyu snap back to attention, smiling and saying it was nothing.
But Wen Qingyan suddenly shot her a look.
Before she could speak, the light turned green.
In the gap of that interrupted moment, Wen Qingyan said nothing more.
Si Nanyu gradually pieced it together. What Wen Qingyan meant was… breakfast was because dinner had been hard on her, and the ride to work was part of it too.
Probably?
She was curious, but decided it was better not to ask.
She got off at the subway entrance as always, waved goodbye to Wen Qingyan, and started another day of classes.
In high spirits, Si Nanyu practically floated through the day. Her lectures were witty and lively, and when class ended, she messaged Wen Qingyan asking if she wanted to have lunch together.
The reply didn’t come right away. It was only as the lunch hour approached that Wen Qingyan told her, “No time. Eat on your own.”
Si Nanyu’s good mood took a small hit, but it didn’t matter, because the cafeteria’s head chef was back. Her Sweet and Sour Ribs were back!!!
For lunch, Si Nanyu ordered nothing else, just a heaping plate of Sweet and Sour Ribs, and sailed away into a world of pure deliciousness.
She was so stuffed she could only stroll around the track to digest.
And on that stroll, she spotted Wen Qingyan and… Xu Jinghao.
They were in a corner of the track, arm in arm, laughing and chatting.
Her mood plunged like a roller coaster.
Si Nanyu didn’t understand herself. She had seen Wen Qingyan and Xu Jinghao together just yesterday without feeling anything like this. But when three people stood together, one was always bound to be left out.
Given the current situation, that someone could only be her. She quietly backed away.
Yet inside, the questions wouldn’t stop: Wen Qingyan said she had no time, didn’t she? Then why was she with Xu Jinghao?
She didn’t notice at all that resentment and jealousy had already crept all over her heart.
