Chapter 277: Dream
“First, where should I start? Let’s start with a little girl. There was a little girl, with no parents, nothing at all. She couldn’t eat her fill every day, and had no quilt for the winter. She had a dream, and that was to be able to eat a hot meal every day.”
She began to tell a story, a story that others didn’t know.
“Before she was 17, she always felt that the happiest thing in the world was to be able to eat a full meal. When she was hungry, she would run to the bookstore to read manga for free, because reading manga could temporarily make her forget her hunger. She read like this for ten years. She also had ideals, and had thought about creating manga, but because the pressure of life was too great, she gave up. After all, a person who had difficulty even feeding herself had no right to choose a dream.”
The stories she told, everyone knew that the little girl in the story was Yu Linna herself.
It was the first time they had ever heard Yu Linna talk about herself. Since they had known her, she had never talked about these things. Whether she felt it was unnecessary or just didn’t want to bring it up, she basically never talked about it.
Yu Linna had confessed her background to Fang Jiangning before, but she hadn’t gone into much detail about her experiences. This was also the first time Fang Jiangning had heard her talk so much.
“At the age of 17, she and her friend signed up for the national singer competition. She firmly believed that this was a choice that could change her life, that she could become a real star through the auditions like others and escape poverty. The facts proved that this did indeed change her life, but she didn’t succeed. She was eliminated in the second round of the national singer competition. Although she worked hard, desperately, the judges wouldn’t look at whether you worked hard or not. What they looked at was the result. Reality is just that simple.”
Xiao Yanhan’s heart was touched. This story was a bit familiar. That’s right, it was very similar to her experience. She had also put in the effort, but had also failed to get any reward.
“She worked hard, desperately, entering the entertainment industry from scratch, being an extra, a stand-in, and even auditioning for the female lead in a big movie, and then constantly repeating failure, constantly being driven away. She was too bad, couldn’t do anything well. Even if she worked hard, what was the use? What people needed were not hardworking people, but people who could create value.”
Those days were very important to her. Without those days, she might not have valued today’s achievements. Success does not come easily. Without the difficult days of hardship, how could one cherish today’s happiness?
“Perhaps, there was still a trace of a thought in her heart, and that was that she could become a big hit through this stage, completely escape poverty, and become a big star. Like Nangong Ying, become loved by everyone. She thought so and did so, but this was really too difficult. Chenghe was unwilling to support her, because she was disobedient, she was unwilling to accept the contract. She didn’t even have the qualification to be a ‘vase.’ Chenghe pushed her step by step. She collapsed. Most importantly, she had no friends, no family, nothing. No one helped her, no one saved her. Chenghe wanted to turn her into a toy. A girl with no one to rely on, no decent background, could only end up at the mercy of others. She couldn’t fight them.”
“That girl, what happened to her later?”
“She committed suicide. No, it should be said that it was an attempted suicide. She had thought of jumping off at the train station to end everything. It’s very simple. Isn’t living tiring? Living is too hard. If you die, everything will be easy. You don’t have to think about anything, just close your eyes, kick your legs, and never have to open your eyes again.”
The three of them listened to her story with their mouths agape, full of shock. To anyone who heard it, it was an unbelievable thing. Yu Linna, she had actually thought of committing suicide?
Then, how desperate, how helpless, how miserable must she have been to have thought of suicide as an option.
Humans live in this world for no other reason than attachment. If a person wants to commit suicide, doesn’t that mean that he has no attachment anymore?
Yu Linna was originally without parents, without anything, but she at least had friends. Could it be that she didn’t even have friends…
“Don’t look at me like that. She’s alive. At least she’s living well now. She just left that place, went to a different place to start over, and became a novelist. What happened in the past has become the past. She doesn’t need to be sad about the past, because she is living for the present.”
She finished her story.
She pushed aside the books on the table, leaving an empty space.
“I started from this small table. There was nothing on the table, just a computer. Everyone is like this. In the beginning, what can you have? Who doesn’t start from scratch?”
She said this for Yanhan to hear.
People, to fight to a certain point, how can it be so easy? But when a person starts to fight, what do they have in their hands? Who doesn’t start from scratch? Even people with a family background, when they start a business, it’s impossible for them to create a big company from the beginning.
Everyone is the same. Success, besides hard work, also requires accumulation.
“Linna.”
Xiao Yanhan called her name, her tone full of heartache.
When she heard her tell these stories, her heart also ached. She really hadn’t expected, hadn’t expected that Yu Linna would have these stories. Just being without parents was pitiful enough. She had almost committed suicide. What kind of despair must she have experienced to lead to this?
“Isn’t this unfair to you?”
That’s right. This world was really unfair to her.
“Yanhan, there is no fairness in this world.”
“But I don’t understand. Since you’ve already gone through all this, why do you still persist? After leaving the entertainment industry, shouldn’t you have gone back to living an ordinary life and never thought about unrealistic things again?”
Hearing her words, Yu Linna just smiled faintly, looked up, and said faintly.
“Because of a dream.”
This sentence, Tang Yumeng had once said to her. Now, she was giving it to Xiao Yanhan.
“I could never let it go. I always felt that something was missing. I found that if I lived an ordinary life and did nothing, my life might not be so turbulent. But I knew that was not what I wanted, and I would definitely not be happy. So I started over and became a novelist. I didn’t know if I could succeed. To me, it was like a gamble, and I was just lucky.”
Xiao Yanhan felt her heart ache, her eyes beginning to blur. Looking at Yu Linna’s calm smile, she felt a pang of pain. This calm appearance, how much pain and despair must she have gone through to become so calm?
Compared to her, she felt so ashamed.
It was just being rejected. But Yu Linna had experienced despair. She still had the face to throw a tantrum in front of her. She really shouldn’t have.
“I’m sorry, Linna.”
“I don’t blame you, Yanhan. I understand you. We’re all the same. It’s just that you’re still fumbling. You still have many opportunities, a lot of time. You can succeed. It’s just that this road is a bit long.”
As someone who had walked this path, it was really most appropriate for her to say these words.
“Can I really do it?”
“You have to have a little more confidence in yourself.”
Xiao Yanhan wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes. At this moment, she seemed to know what she should do.
“Linna, I’m very sorry for saying those words. I was too self-righteous. I thought I was the only unfortunate one in the whole world. Actually, that’s not the case. I just haven’t found a suitable path yet. Linna, I still want to continue drawing, to draw the story I want to draw.”
Yu Linna nodded, expressing her support. No matter what, she would support her and help her.
Everyone wants to succeed, but this path is not easy to walk. To walk this path to the end is really too difficult.
But she hoped that Xiao Yanhan could find the right path. Although it would take a long time, it didn’t matter. As long as she could find it, it didn’t matter how long it took.
“A very good story.”
Lan Ranyan finished listening to the story, full of emotion, her eyes also a little sore. She thought she had probably been watching too many TV dramas recently. She should take a break.
Her roommate, she never thought she had experienced so much. No wonder she always acted so calm. That’s right. She had experienced life and death and despair. What else couldn’t she get through? She respected Yu Linna even more.
Everyone who has overcome despair and worked hard deserves to be respected.
As for Fang Jiangning, she had a heavy expression on her face.
…
While Xiao Yanhan was planning to work hard again and continue drawing, Fang Jiangning called Yu Linna out to the balcony, wanting to talk to her alone.
Unlike Lan Ranyan and Xiao Yanhan, she had known Yu Linna the longest and also knew more things that others didn’t.
“Linna, are there still many things you haven’t told me?”
“What else is there to tell? Didn’t I tell you everything?”
“I’m not a fool. I’ve known you for a long time. Do you still remember? You disappeared for a period of time in your third year of high school. After you came back, you left the entertainment industry. And what you just said, about the time you wanted to commit suicide, it matches up perfectly.”
“…”
“Tell me, Linna, was it because of Nangong Ying that you were like that?”
All along, she had wanted to know the truth, but Yu Linna was never willing to say. Every time, she would change the subject. But this time, she couldn’t avoid it. The facts were right in front of her. She couldn’t escape. Although she hadn’t mentioned Nangong Ying just now, Fang Jiangning knew that there must be something about Nangong Ying in this.
The evidence was that after that, she and Nangong Ying had never met again, never spoken again.
“Yes, that’s right.”
She admitted it, frankly admitted it.
Now that things had come to this, there was no need to hide it anymore. Fang Jiangning knew it was just a matter of time. Rather than this, it was better to confess early. It might be a little easier that way. This thing, she had originally wanted to hide it for a lifetime, but now it seemed impossible.
“What did she do?”
“She didn’t do anything.”
“She didn’t do anything, and you were like that?”
“It was precisely because she didn’t do anything that we went our separate ways.”
If she had done something at that time, if she had been willing to turn back, she, Yu Linna, would definitely not be like this today.
If Nangong Ying had been willing to turn back, then there would have been no need for Ye Zhiyun.
But there were no ifs. Everything had become a fact.
Nangong Ying had betrayed her. This was an indisputable fact.
“She and I were destined not to be on the same path. It’s as simple as that. It’s nothing.”
“You’re lying.”
“No, she’s the one who’s lying.”
Nangong Ying was a complete liar.
