Chapter 276: You Can’t Be Mad at Me
It’s hard to understand, unfair, even like the world’s malice. There’s nothing to be done about it. In the eyes of others, Yu Linna’s success was very casual. She just wrote something casually and succeeded, as if she didn’t have to work hard at all.
In fact, was that really the case?
If she herself were to answer, it would definitely be no. If she could succeed so casually, then what was the point of working hard? In the past few years, she had lived a life of having one meal but not the next, and she didn’t have many forms of entertainment. She usually liked to browse for one or two old books at street stalls, or borrow a few books from the library, or go to the bookstore to read manga for free. And she also had the habit of writing a diary. Once, when she was idle, she even wrote a novel, although it was just for her own enjoyment.
It wasn’t that she hadn’t summarized, hadn’t searched for material, or improved her writing. She had always been doing it, in places that others couldn’t see.
Her success was, one, because she was hardworking enough; two, because she had seized the opportunity; and three, because she had accumulated experience.
It was definitely not a casual success.
She had been screwed over by Chenghe before and hadn’t debuted as an actress, but she felt that this was fate. If she had become an actress, then she wouldn’t be where she was today.
“Aren’t you going to look for her?” Lan Ranyan asked.
Xiao Yanhan’s actions just now had startled everyone in the dorm. She had cried in the toilet for forty minutes. When she came out, her voice was hoarse and her eyes were red. She left the dorm alone, and no one knew where she had gone.
“I understand her,” Yu Linna said faintly.
“I used to be like this too, always working hard, always fighting. I entered the entertainment industry, and I thought I could become a big star like Nangong Ying. In fact, that was impossible. Sometimes, even if you work hard, even if you give it your all, you still won’t be rewarded. This world is just like that. Even if you work hard, you won’t necessarily succeed.”
“So you changed careers?”
“I wouldn’t say that. I just chose a path I thought was suitable. At that time, I thought, even if I might fail, I had to do it, because I didn’t know the result, and I couldn’t be sure if I would fail. Rather than sitting around and waiting to die, I would rather take a gamble. Who cares? I’ll just do it first. We’ll talk about it after I fail.”
“I think I can understand why you were able to succeed.”
Lan Ranyan’s perennial iceberg face finally showed a smile.
A person’s growth has three stages.
The first stage is when you realize you’re not the center of the world.
The second stage is when you realize that no matter how hard you try, there are still some things that are beyond your control.
The third stage is when you know that some things may be beyond your control, but you still try your best to fight for them.
“Maybe you all think I succeeded very easily. Everyone thinks so. I’ve never written a novel before. The first time I wrote one, I became number one. This is not incomprehensible, because in the eyes of most people, this is basically a cheat. But in fact, it’s not like that.”
“Why?”
“I’m not afraid of you laughing at me when I say this, but when I was little, I had a small dream, and that was to be a novelist. I used to look at novels in the bookstore and was attracted by the stories inside. I thought, if only I could write such a novel. Maybe it was because of this reason that I developed the habit of writing a diary.”
“And then?”
“Then, like most people, I forgot about this little dream and had to face my troubles under the heavy pressure of life. After that, my dream became to be a star.”
Yes, after that was the matter of participating in the national singer competition. Her life began to undergo earth-shattering changes. She entered Chenghe just like that, became an actress, was almost subjected to the casting couch, had thought of committing suicide, and was later saved by Ye Zhiyun.
“But I don’t understand. Since you entered the entertainment industry back then, why didn’t you become a popular celebrity? Logically speaking, with your looks, even if you couldn’t do anything, you could at least be a ‘vase,’ right?”
Lan Ranyan asked the question she had always wanted to know. Fang Jiangning also put down her keyboard and sat over to listen to her explanation. They all wanted to know what had caused Yu Linna not to become a popular celebrity, but instead to leave the entertainment industry in a down and out state and become a novelist.
“Maybe I encountered a proper company? Alright, alright, I’m joking. I think it’s because my value wasn’t enough.”
“What do you mean?”
“In the market, just relying on your face is useless. In the end, it still comes down to strength. But there are also people who become popular by being popular celebrities. Obviously, I didn’t have this qualification. Because I got on Chenghe’s bus, and Chenghe was destined not to let me debut so easily. What they needed were obedient people, and unfortunately, I’m not.”
She had understood long ago, very long ago. Wanting to be a popular celebrity under Chenghe’s hands was a very small possibility. How many of the female stars they promoted were real “vases”? Most of them were still capable. Although she was unwilling to admit it, Chenghe had principles when it came to cultivating actors. They would absolutely not cultivate so-called popular celebrities, because what they filmed were movies, not TV dramas. TV dramas can rely on traffic, but movies can’t. In the end, movies can only speak with quality.
Another important point was that Yu Linna was not obedient.
She was unwilling to accept Chenghe’s casting couch.
So she was not qualified to be cultivated by Chenghe. This was also a very important reason.
Fang Jiangning didn’t quite understand, and although Lan Ranyan didn’t know the specific situation, she more or less understood the meaning behind her words. In a complicated place like the entertainment industry, there was everything. If Yu Linna had encountered this kind of thing, it didn’t seem incomprehensible. After all, that big dye vat had all kinds of cloth.
“Please allow me to be presumptuous. I don’t mean anything else. You haven’t done that kind of thing yet, right?” she asked, trying her best to be as subtle as possible.
“It was precisely for this reason that I left Chenghe,” Yu Linna said faintly.
Lan Ranyan breathed a sigh of relief. At least Yu Linna was still clean. It seemed that her choice to leave was not without reason. That place was not suitable for her.
Fang Jiangning didn’t understand and asked for an explanation, but Yu Linna was clearly unwilling to say more.
…
“Yanhan, I want to talk to her. I can’t just watch her like this.”
“She probably doesn’t want to see you.”
“But I still have to find her.”
Xiao Yanhan was too similar to her. Seeing her fail, she couldn’t help but think of herself, of that time at Chenghe. She had experienced countless failures, been eliminated from the national singer competition, been driven away by Happy Fries, been rejected in the female lead auditions, and been betrayed by her best friend at Chenghe, to the point where she almost committed suicide on the train tracks.
If this kind of experience were written out, it would be enough for her to make a new novel.
So she understood her feelings very well.
Yu Linna found her in the dorm next door. She was staying there, and seemed to have cried again in front of Bai Ya. When she saw Yu Linna come in, she immediately took a tissue to wipe her tears, hiding behind her, not wanting her to see her in such a sorry state.
“Yanhan, don’t be like this.”
“…Just leave me alone. Let me be alone.”
Xiao Yanhan’s voice was much hoarser, her complexion no longer rosy. Her usual goofy and lively temperament was gone, leaving only haggardness. This failure had hit her too hard. She wouldn’t be able to pull herself together in a short time. Especially after seeing her dearest idol become a character designer for a game, she admitted that she was jealous.
A novelist’s drawing was even better than hers. How bad must her drawing be?
She was really unwilling. Why, everyone was human, why was she always failing, while she succeeded in one go? Why was this? She was unwilling.
“I think we should talk,” Yu Linna said with a sigh.
At this, Bai Ya and Su Ziyan could see at a glance that there was a problem between the two of them and decisively chose to shut up. They also persuaded Xiao Yanhan to go back to her dorm, but Xiao Yanhan was not very willing to go back.
“I’m not like you. You’re a genius. You can succeed in anything you do. I can’t. I don’t have your talent.”
“Yanhan, if you think so, then you’re wrong.”
“Now that it’s come to this, what do you want to say?”
“You can’t take your anger out on me. I’m not your punching bag either.”
“…”
“I’ll wait for you to come back.”
Yu Linna turned and left alone, leaving a dazed Xiao Yanhan behind.
Her back looked a little lonely, her expression seemed a little hurt. Had she gone a little too far?
“Did you two have a fight?” Bai Ya asked cautiously.
Xiao Yanhan nodded, her head lowered, her bangs covering her eyes.
“It’s my fault…”
That’s right. No matter what, it wasn’t her fault. What on earth was she doing?
And Yu Linna just waited for her to come back in the dorm, drawing her character designs while she waited, trying to finish them before the end of December. Although the other party could have hired their own designer to draw the character designs, they had specifically asked her to do it, perhaps because they valued her popularity.
It was only at 7 o’clock in the evening that Xiao Yanhan came back. She had stayed in the dorm next door for a long time. When she came back and saw Yu Linna working, she opened her mouth, weighing her words.
“I’m sorry, Linna. It was my fault.”
Yu Linna put down her pen and asked her to sit down. She went to lock the dorm room door and also closed the window, not wanting any outsiders to enter their dorm. Fang Jiangning and Lan Ranyan both obediently sat down. They knew that Yu Linna wanted to say something.
“Yanhan, I want to talk to you,” she repeated what she had said before.
“Do you think I’m a bastard, that I succeeded so casually, that I just worked a little hard and got first place, became a great author?”
“No…”
“Don’t lie to me. I know you think so. But it’s no wonder. In the eyes of outsiders, this is indeed a bastard story. To have gotten so much honor and wealth that many people can’t get in a lifetime without doing anything, it would be strange not to be jealous.”
Yu Linna said with a wry smile.
Xiao Yanhan didn’t know what to say at this time. She could only sit there and listen to her. She didn’t want to say another word, afraid of hurting her.
“Yanhan, I understand you. I understand you very well. To have worked hard but not be rewarded, I know this feeling all too well.”
“Linna, you’re saying those words again…”
“Do you think I really succeeded without experiencing any setbacks? You’re thinking too highly of me, Yanhan.”
She interrupted Xiao Yanhan’s words and said faintly.
“Eh?”
Xiao Yanhan looked at her with a slightly dazed expression.
And Yu Linna opened her mouth, brewing her words, and began to tell an unknown story.
“That’s a very long story…”
