Chapter 59: Withered
The old and rusty… iron door, which was covered with small advertisements, was finally opened. She also had a key to this room, which the boy had given her.
Every time she had a fight with her family, she would hide in the boy’s house. Sometimes, when the boy came back late from school, she would lie on the desk and do her homework, waiting for him to come back. She would then pull the boy upstairs to have dinner. When the boy was around, her mom would not be in a bad mood, so she would not be scolded. At that time, she was almost full of such small thoughts. There was still a long time. She didn’t want to be too mature. She, this person, had never made any progress.
She had passed by the door of the room countless times, and she seemed to have never noticed that there was a thin layer of dust on this door. The small advertisements were stacked on top of each other, almost blocking the keyhole.
Now that she thought about it, her mom had not come down to clean this room, which was not often lived in, for a long time since a certain day.
Whether it was the unnatural attitude she had when she often mentioned Su Yu in front of them, or the particularly warm and careful consideration of the neighbors, they were all vaguely telling her something, but she seemed to have never noticed.
The key was inserted into the keyhole, and it was gently turned. A thin layer of dust was shaken off, and it was rippling in the crimson sunset. She pushed open the door, and a slightly harsh creaking sound sounded in her ear. It was as if she was familiar with every fluctuation of the tone.
The door opened, and the deep twilight seeped in through the window on the left. She took a deep breath, and the dust that was scattered in the air was a little choking. It was as if the sand and dust had blurred her eyes, and a sour feeling rushed up from her chest to her heart. The corners of her eyes suddenly became wet again.
“Uncle Su was worried that you would be sad. The room hasn’t been moved much, and the things haven’t been taken away yet. He said that if you are reluctant, you can pick a few things to keep as a memento.”
He Mu Qing thought of Mother He’s instructions. She had been here many times, and she was familiar with everything in the room. She almost went straight to the bedroom.
The lighting in the bedroom of this house was not very good. The floor was not high, and she often couldn’t see the sun when she got up early. But every time she came home in the evening, she could always see a brilliant and hazy sunset seeping in along the crack of the window, which was very beautiful.
The door and window were tightly closed, and the air was turbid and stuffy. He Mu Qing pulled open the glass window, and the evening wind slowly blew in. The cool and gentle wind was wandering in the bedroom, as if it hadn’t been here for a long time. It had almost visited every corner.
The afterglow of the setting sun had lit up the large clouds in the sky. The raging fire had spread to the entire sky, and the dark golden sunset had shone in, covering the black and blue bedsheet, adding a few bright colors.
The boy’s personality was just like the clothes in his closet, which were either black or white. He was so boring. He didn’t even fight back when he was bullied. She had been arguing with the people who had bullied the boy until the sky was dark. The boy had been pulling her to leave, and he would only dampen his own prestige. He was like a heavy and hard, broken stone.
The dark and gloomy black and white at the corner of the table in the sunset was particularly conspicuous. He Mu Qing walked over and stared at the black and white photo for a long time. Her fingertips gently caressed the other party’s cheek, but she was blocked by a layer of thin and cold glass.
The seedling that was rooted in her heart was a little listless. It was as if the summer sun was too strong. The tender green seedling that had just sprouted was drooping its branches and leaves like the row of ginkgo trees in front of the teaching building, as if it were about to die.
The wooden box containing the relics was placed next to the photo. A small lock was hanging loosely on it. He Mu Qing gently opened the lock and looked at the familiar old objects. She picked them up one by one in her mind, as if she could piece together a shadow that would never come back.
A deep and dark black was sinking in her field of vision. He Mu Qing subconsciously moved away the things on top, and a circle of particularly inconspicuous hair tie was lying in a corner, unnoticed. But she was a little excited and took the hair tie out of it. She carefully held it in her cupped hands, as if it were too heavy, and her heart was trembling.
The hair tie was just a cheap one that could be bought for a dollar a dozen on the street. And besides, it had been used for a long time. The hair tie was exposed from the cover, and it was so loose that it couldn’t even hold the boy’s wrist. It was always like this… as if no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t hold on.
The hair tie was very clean, without any of the gruesome bloodstains that should have been there. She couldn’t help but fantasize that the boy had not been wearing this hair tie that day. If he had happened to have spent some time putting the hair tie on his wrist that day, would there have been a different result at a certain point in time, and she could have brought back a person who might never come back?
He Mu Qing held the hair tie tightly in her hand, as if she wanted to hold on to something. She closed her eyes with some fatigue and fell back into the soft bed behind her.
The raging fire in the sky was vaguely showing signs of dying out. The fire was gradually extinguishing, and the sunset that was falling into the house was slowly retreating along the original path. The darkness was spreading in, and it had swallowed the shadow that was cast by the window frame on the floor. The sound outside suddenly became noisy. The food stalls were preparing to open, and the sound of the shop owner pulling open the old iron door to make room for business was a little harsh. The hot summer night was even more lively than the daytime.
She raised her head, and the flickering white incandescent light from the food stalls downstairs shone in, cutting the ceiling into square pieces, which looked bloody. The memories, like a persistent curse, came back to her. Some of the emotions that had been accumulating in her heart and could not be vented were stirring restlessly.
“Knock, knock, knock!”
The knock on the door was abrupt. He Mu Qing came back to her senses. She subconsciously looked at the clock on the wall. The hands were pointing to a familiar time. She got out of bed in a panic, barefoot, and walked quickly in the deep darkness of the house, as if she were chasing something. Her nose was sour, and a dense pain arose in her heart.
She couldn’t help but start to pray. Her tightly pursed, thin lips parted, and she subconsciously shouted into the silent darkness.
“Why are you back so late? Were you wandering on the road again?”
Her hand was on the handle and she pressed it down hard. The dim light from the corridor seeped in, and it shone brightly in her eyes. She endured the discomfort and opened her eyes. Her heart was pounding like a drum, but she was also vaguely looking forward to seeing that familiar face.
“Mu Qing, are you okay? Go up and rest. You’ll be fine.”
The little bit of light that had lit up in her heart struggled and flickered a few times, and was extinguished in the desolate and cold darkness behind her.
“I’m fine. I’ll go back after a while.”
Her features were so stiff that they were a little scary. She forced a smile, and the feeling of her muscles tearing was as if it were bloody.
He Mu Qing dealt with Mother He outside the door and closed the door again. She turned around and leaned against the wooden door, letting the darkness roar and swallow her. The sadness that had been suppressed in her heart came slowly and fiercely, and it joyfully occupied this defenseless body.
“Why are you staying at my house again? I’ll have to charge you next time. I’ve told you so many times, don’t always argue with Auntie He and use my place as a shelter. You’re so old.”
The nagging that she had been looking forward to and that she had hated before suddenly fell empty. Instead, there was a deafening roar, which made her eardrums ache, as if the world had collapsed.
She reached out and rubbed her sore eyes, but she touched a large patch of wetness. She wiped it with the back of her hand in a fluster, thinking to herself, why am I crying again? But the tears flowed down the back of her hand and into her palm, and she couldn’t stop them. They were even more turbulent, and the sound of the water hitting the floor was pattering, and it slowly spread in the darkness.
So he really wasn’t coming back. This cold fact, with the warm blood in her heart, was presented in front of her. Her limbs were so stiff and cold that they didn’t seem to belong to her. She hugged her arms and leaned against the door, slowly falling to the ground. Her sobs grew louder and louder, and in the end, she was crying her heart out.
Her years of love had suddenly lost its target, and she was at a loss. She was like a seedling that could not see the sun, buried in the soil, and would never be able to bloom with a beautiful bouquet of flowers.
The flower in her heart had finally withered. It had withered peacefully before it had even bloomed.
