Chapter 103: Sunset
When he woke up, the sky was still dark. A car that had started early drove past downstairs, and the dazzling car lights came from a distance, piercing the silent darkness. The light and shadow slid across the ceiling, leaving a sharp and deep scratch on it.
The air seemed to be filled with a certain viscous glue, as if something were rotting and spoiling. Su Yu was in the darkness and suddenly felt a little breathless. He eagerly fumbled on the bedside table, and the sound of rapid breathing echoed in the narrow space. The switch was pressed with a click, and the light, as if it were a lifesaver, pulled him out of the darkness.
The dim table lamp cast a thin halo on his half-pale and haggard face. The blue veins on his thin hands were bulging, and he could vaguely see the pulsating blood vessels on the back of his hand.
Perhaps it was because he was too busy, but the bedroom window was still ajar. The cold wind was blowing into the room, and it was whistling past his neck. The room was suddenly a little scary.
Su Yu was in a daze for a while, as if he were recalling something. The time he had been lying in bed these past few days seemed to be particularly long. He had fallen into darkness in a muddle, and he still hadn’t broken free when he woke up.
It wasn’t exactly insomnia. He had actually gone to bed very early yesterday. After he had finished his work at the supermarket, he had taken a quick shower and had gone to bed. He couldn’t remember when he had fallen asleep. He was lying on the bed, facing the ceiling. He had seized the fleeting opportunity, and he had even mastered some skills. As long as he relaxed his brain at the moment of drowsiness, he would soon fall into a deep sleep.
Most of the time, he wouldn’t dream. Only occasionally, when he was lucky, would he dream of Xia Qiange. If dreams were all reflections of reality, then they were doing the things he had experienced in his dreams. The things he had had, it was as if he had gone back to the past…
He would hold Xia Qiange in his arms and kiss her… the two of them would be in a lingering embrace, their lips and teeth touching. They would be squeezed in a narrow kitchen, washing the dishes after dinner together. And they would also… also… hug each other and fall onto the soft bed, and they would roll around and play.
That was almost the happiest time.
The girl was half-kneeling in front of him, and she was moving her knees and getting closer to him, looking up at him. Her face was flushed, and her gaze was dilated and hazy. He slowly wrapped his arms around the girl’s swaying waist…
His blood was boiling and had ignited a scorching desire. He was drawing pleasure from his fantasy.
What followed was an overwhelming longing. He was a sailboat that had lost its mast, and he had lost his direction in the tide of loneliness and being loved.
Su Yu covered his somewhat throbbing temples and took out the phone from under his pillow, which was about to run out of battery. He swiped away a few annoying advertisements, and he couldn’t find any new messages. Xia Qiange’s message was still from three days ago. A light and airy “I’m busy” had simply covered up everything between them.
He suddenly felt a little resentful towards Xia Qiange. It wasn’t hatred, but just a complaint. Why did Xia Qiange have to suddenly appear in his life?
If he hadn’t heard the late confession on the phone, things wouldn’t have gotten so bad. He didn’t blame Xia Qiange for leaving when he was so sad. He just blamed Xia Qiange for being so good to him when she had met him.
But he thought he shouldn’t go and find her. She was so young, so beautiful, and she was in her prime. And she was about to go and live in the bustling capital. She was full of the youthful vigor and vitality. He didn’t even have the courage to stand with her openly.
Su Yu lifted the heavy blanket and got out of bed. His nose was a little stuffy when he was breathing. Perhaps it was because he had caught a cold from the cold wind blowing through the open window. He was walking barefoot on the cold floor, and the coldness was shooting up from the soles of his feet to his head, and he was so cold that he had lost his sensation.
A few clean and sun-dried curtains were piled up on the floor, and they were stained with some of the powder from the seasoning packets. After a long time, the color had deepened a little, and it couldn’t be washed off… so he didn’t bother with them anymore and stepped on them to go to the living room.
The mess in the house was unprecedented, even worse than when he had first arrived. The finished instant food was piled up on the table, and the unwashed bowls and chopsticks were piled up in the sink. There were no beer cans. It was he who had tried his best to restrain himself. If he drank too much, he wouldn’t be able to go to work.
These past few days, he had been living in a muddle. When he was in pain, he would choose to be drowsy. When he occasionally woke up, he would look up and see himself in the mirror with bloodshot eyes. He was glad that Xia Qiange couldn’t see his pathetic appearance. This seemed to be the only comfort.
It was still a while before he had to go to work. He couldn’t stand the morning’s labor without breakfast. But he was really too lazy to spend too much effort on eating. He remembered that there were still some instant foods from the store in the refrigerator, so he fumbled in the refrigerator while he was boiling hot water.
When he opened the cabinet door, he smelled a foul and strange smell coming out. It was like the smell of rotting meat. The refrigerator was a bit old, and it had some bad connections. It would often lose power, and a thick layer of ice had formed at the bottom, and it was mixed with turbid and bloody water.
He wrinkled his nose and searched for a long time but couldn’t find the source. They had bought too many vegetables together that day, and they had filled the entire refrigerator. How could he possibly finish it all by himself?
He used this to spark his imagination, wondering if Xia Qiange actually didn’t want to leave. Otherwise, why would she have bought so many vegetables with him? Had he done something wrong to make her unhappy, so she had to lie and say she was too busy, and was unwilling to come and accompany him anymore? But what had he done wrong? He had racked his brains but couldn’t think of a reason.
Su Yu casually took a box of frozen steamed buns and steamed them with the hot air from the kettle. When he was looking for the TV remote control, he accidentally found a half-eaten box of fruit cereal under the TV cabinet.
This was what Xia Qiange had given him. She had a stomach problem herself and always had these instant drinks on hand. She was worried that he wouldn’t eat breakfast and had specially brought him two boxes. He had also eaten them often at that time. Only this small half-box was left. Later, he didn’t know how he had forgotten about it.
Su Yu looked up at the rose-red parasol that was hanging on the wall. He suddenly felt that Xia Qiange had clearly not been here for a long time. But how could there be traces of Xia Qiange everywhere in this house?
He realized that he was a complete coward. He always had to rely on something to live. Before, it was the hope of regaining his freedom. Later, it was the daily numbing physical labor. But now it seemed that nothing was working.
He tried to call for help, but the other party had just glanced at him and had turned and left.
…
The supermarket was privately owned, and the work was not complicated. During the day, he was responsible for counting the goods to make it convenient for the other employees to put them on the shelves. There were many promotional products at the end of the year, and there were all kinds of discounts. He was holding a pen and was staring at the numbers in the dark warehouse, and his eyes were sore.
He had just finished counting the last batch of goods when someone suddenly came to the back and called him. It was time to change shifts.
Su Yu finished his work and immediately changed his clothes to go outside to be a guide and to stock the shelves. There were not many people in the supermarket on weekdays. He could go back after another hour of work.
He was in the snack area, holding a basket of ice-skin square cakes and stocking the shelves. This was a new product, and a whole row of shelves had been cleared for it. He wiped the sweat from his forehead and then bent down to get the goods. When he straightened his back again, he suddenly saw a familiar figure in the corner of his eye.
His whole person was very stiff and was fixed on the spot. The girl was wearing a very beautiful little cotton-padded jacket today, and she was wearing a plaid short skirt. A pair of slender and round legs were exposed, and they were wrapped in a very thin layer of flesh-colored stockings, which outlined a graceful and beautiful leg curve.
Xia Qiange was pushing a shopping cart and was coming out from the other side of the snack area and was walking towards him. There were a lot of snacks in the shopping cart, and many of them were the ones he had just replaced not long ago. Her long ponytail was swaying behind her, and a pair of small and cute pearl earrings were on her earlobes, which made her look radiant. The youthful and vibrant atmosphere was burning his retina, and the corners of his eyes quickly became hot.
He looked down at his wrinkled and simple work clothes. He casually stuffed the cake in his hand into the shelf and began to retreat in another direction.
He was hiding behind another shelf, watching as the girl was standing where he had just been. He saw the few new products that had just been replaced. Her bright red cherry lips were lightly pursed, and a curve was slowly formed. Her eyes were curved like a playful crescent moon.
She was so beautiful when she smiled, like the sun that had passed through the heavy haze.
Xia Qiange took a few pieces of cake and then pushed the shopping cart and slowly turned and left.
Su Yu came out again like a deserter who had returned to the battlefield. His heart was pounding in his heart. He had even forgotten to let go of the breath he had just been holding. It was not until he began to cough violently that he slowly came back to his senses.
The person he had been thinking about day and night was standing in front of him, but he couldn’t hug her.
She had originally liked to eat sweets so much. If she had time to wander around slowly, she should not be busy. But why didn’t she come to find him? They had missed so many dinners that they should have had together. The ingredients in the refrigerator had all gone bad.
Was she tired of him? The help between friends had cruelly come to an end. She must not like him anymore, and she would not have dinner with him again. He would be alone in this strange city for the rest of his life, and he would die quietly alone…
He was horrified to realize that his dependence was not from a material or physiological aspect, but a spiritual demand that was forcing him. He wanted the other party to look at him more. He didn’t need a very enthusiastic response. It would be fine if she was willing to stay by his side.
Suddenly, he had difficulty breathing.
He had to pull down the work clothes that were hanging on his neck. A certain craving was rising from the soles of his feet and had passed over his neck. He couldn’t find where his spiritual home was. His craving for Xia Qiange seemed to have surpassed everything, and it had easily crushed those completely dispensable suspicions and dignity.
…
A rushed knock on the door broke the silence of the long and narrow corridor. The voice-activated lights in the darkness were lit up one after another. After a long silence, the click of the lock turning suddenly sounded.
The woman’s eyes widened. She looked at the man outside the door, who had a scruffy beard and messy hair. He was as rough as a robber in a TV show. It was just that his eyes were red, and his dark pupils were as if they were soaked in water, with a translucent and clear watery light. They were as beautiful as the scattered stars that were twinkling in the night sky.
Neither of them spoke first. Su Yu raised his head and looked at the woman he had been thinking about day and night. The shackles on his spirit…
Xia Qiange seemed to have just come out of the bathroom. Her long, waterfall-like hair was wet and was drooping on her plain white shoulders and neck. The room was blowing out warm air. She was only wearing a pink silk nightgown, and the hem of her skirt was very long. Only two small and exquisite feet were exposed from her ankles.
Su Yu stared at Xia Qiange as she slowly raised her hand. His gaze was filled with a hot craving. He thought it would be great if that cold and slender hand could land on his cheek, gently caressing his skin, caring for him, and caring about him. Just thinking about it was enough to make him faint with happiness.
However, Xia Qiange just reached out and smoothed the messy hair by her ear. His heart skipped a beat and fell, and he almost fell to pieces.
“It’s cold outside. Come in quickly.”
She suddenly pulled Su Yu into the house, and she went all the way past the living room and into her bedroom. On the clean bed was a novel that was open to the middle. He thought that what she had been saying she was busy with was all this…
Xia Qiange tilted her head and looked at him. She pulled him to the side of the bed and sat down. Then she held the book in her arms and asked him, “Why are you here?”
Why was he here? This question had stumped Su Yu.
Yes… what was he here for? Was he surrendering or was he humiliating himself?
He tried to force a smile, but his lowered eyebrows and eyes could not show a single bit of a smile. The expression he showed was nondescript, and with the redness at the corners of his eyes, it was as if he were crying.
“Oh… I bought a lot of snacks. I’ll bring some over.”
Xia Qiange, seeing that Su Yu was not willing to speak, took the initiative to speak. She had just stood up when Su Yu frantically grabbed her wrist and would not let go. His scarlet eyes were filled with fear. His body was so stiff that he could not move, and he did not dare to blink his eyes. He was afraid that the girl in front of him would slip away from him without any warning.
Xia Qiange sat back down, and her clear black and white eyes were staring at him. She was as if she were teasing something bit by bit. Her on-and-off attitude was simply driving him mad. “Su Yu, you…”
Su Yu swallowed. He slowly approached Xia Qiange, and his palm climbed up Xia Qiange’s slender arm and moved up. Finally, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and leaned down, his forehead against her neck. The fresh and gentle gardenia fragrance was rich.
He called her with a trembling voice, and all his longing was contained in this name. “Qian Ge…”
“Yeah… I’m here.”
Xia Qiange gently caressed the back of his neck, and her hot breath was spread on his eyelids. A wave of unstoppable heat rose in his eyes, and his vision was a little blurry.
“I love you. Don’t leave me… okay?”
The person he loved was in his arms, and he was almost about to fall into the sweet and beautiful dream in front of him.
“Okay. Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this sentence? A long, long time…”
Xia Qiange readily agreed, and it was a little unrealistic. She gently curved her eyebrows and lightly bit his pale and thin lips. The short pain could not wake him from his dream, and it even dragged him deeper.
The wind lifted the curtains, and the brilliant sunset seeped into the house. She was against the light, and a raging fire was poured on the sky behind her. It was burning fiercely and was spreading with the wind. The whole world was as if it had fallen into an endless blood color.
She raised her dark and inky eyes, and her black hair was blowing in front of her. A cold and aloof emotion was wandering on the surface of her eyeballs. She gently parted her red lips and smiled silently.
“I love you too.”
