The gu insect needed blood. Su Wei licked Su He’s blood clean, and only then did the Death Gu gradually release its control over its host. The shadow guard slowly regained her senses. When Su Wei’s consciousness returned, she found herself already lying on the bed, her clothes changed.
Yet she had absolutely no memory of any of it.
Su Wei sat up in fright. Just as she was about to leave the bed, Su He stopped her. Su He’s voice was still hoarse from just waking up: “Not sleeping at night, what are you getting up for?”
“Had a nightmare?”
Hearing Su He’s voice, Su Wei gradually regained her bearings. She instinctively grabbed her Master’s hand, her voice trembling at the end: “I feel like I had a very long dream, but I don’t remember anything.”
“It’s fine.” Su He gently pushed Su Wei back down, her hand patting the shadow guard’s back. She murmured softly, “It was a nightmare. Don’t be nervous, I am right here.”
“…Master.” Su Wei murmured. “Can I hold you while I sleep?”
Su He deliberately hesitated for a moment before answering: “Alright.”
After getting the reply, Su Wei hugged Su He. Her body was still trembling, but she found a strange sense of safety here with her Master.
It felt like an external force pushing her, yet it allowed her to fall asleep peacefully.
Su Wei truly couldn’t think anymore. Her heart was panicked, like a sudden falling sensation of weightlessness. The unsettled feeling made her unconsciously clutch Su He’s clothes tighter.
“Sleep.”
Su He’s words seemed to carry magic. Su Wei drifted off into a dazed sleep just like that, unable to even ponder what had happened.
The next morning, Su Wei woke up. She waited for her Master to get dressed before she sat up. She didn’t speak, clearly in a state of deep thought, torn and afraid. She didn’t know how to ask. Her last memory was only of the inexplicable pain that appeared in her body, and then nothing after that.
“Su Wei.” Having fastened her belt, Su He turned around and spoke the words she had long prepared. “Yesterday, the moment I entered, you fainted. The imperial physician came to examine you and said your constitution is too weak.”
Su Wei abruptly looked up, then tilted her head, trying to match the missing memory.
Su He strode over, gently pinched Su Wei’s face, leaned down, and kissed her. She said gently, “Wait for me to come back. I’ll bring you food.”
“Master…” Su Wei’s already chaotic thoughts instantly became impossible to sort out. She shrank her shoulders back, leaning away. “What are you doing?”
Why had it become like this out of nowhere?
She didn’t want this!
Su He sighed helplessly. She looked at Su Wei with a doting expression, her tone so earnest, so reverent: “I like you. The kind of like where I want to be with you.”
“After you asked me that day, I thought about it for a long time.” Su He smiled with a sense of relief. “Punishing you was because I didn’t want you to be with someone else. It would make me unhappy. As expected, saying it out loud feels much better.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t force you. Take your time to think.”
Su He left as soon as she finished speaking, giving Su Wei no chance to reply. Before closing the door, she added, “Remember to drink your medicine. It’s on the table.”
The sound of the closing door cut off all sound. Su Wei was too frightened to move. It was a long while before she regained sensation, slowly standing up. She washed and dressed in a daze. Swallowing hard, she drank the medicine in one gulp.
She absolutely couldn’t understand what her Master meant by those words. She was a shadow guard, as her Master had personally stated that day. How could she be worthy?
How could feelings appear so suddenly?
Su Wei was completely blank in this aspect. She sat helplessly in the chair, replaying the memories of their interactions over and over.
It shouldn’t be like this. How could things develop into this?
Su Wei sat thinking, utterly unable to digest this matter. Her thoughts were only pulled back when the palace attendant entered.
The attendant, seeing her poor complexion, asked, “What’s wrong with you? Are you feeling unwell?”
“No.” Su Wei was silent for a moment, then asked, “Did the Leader go out with the Master?”
“Yes.” The attendant placed the food on the table. “Seems like there’s more traveling to do again today. Eat something first, or your body won’t hold up.”
Su Wei stiffly picked up her chopsticks. She chewed a couple of tasteless bites, then couldn’t help asking, “Tell me, could the Master… like someone?”
“Ah, you.” The attendant wasn’t surprised. “Isn’t it normal? Since ancient times, when have emperors ever been devoted to one? They love here and there. Don’t overthink it, just accept it openly.”
“I am a shadow guard, here to protect the Master.” Su Wei’s eyes widened, finding it absurd. “How can it be like this?”
The attendant frowned: “What about being a shadow guard? You’ve lost all your martial arts now, you can’t even protect yourself, let alone Her Majesty. Why not just enjoy it? How long can an emperor’s favor last? Boldly accept it.”
“Think about it carefully. Perhaps you might truly experience love.”
Listening to the attendant’s words, Su Wei didn’t reply, numbly eating her meal.
Even after the attendant cleared away the dishes, she remained silent. Su Wei stayed alone in the room for a long time, rubbing her longevity lock, gently pressing it against her chest.
She had never experienced romantic love. Su He said she liked her, and Su Wei was again trapped in the constraints of status. Yet the attendant’s voice echoed uncontrollably in her mind—
If she indulged, if she tried to accept it, would she still be a qualified shadow guard?
Could she ever go back to how things were?
.
Su He didn’t return early. At that time, Su Wei was just about to bathe. Seeing her Master return, she stopped her actions and saluted properly: “Master.”
“Did you feel any discomfort in your body today?”
“No. Everything is fine.”
Su He nodded faintly: “I understand. Go bathe.”
Su Wei hesitated in place, clutching her clothes. Seeing Su He’s confused gaze, she took a few steps forward and slightly raised her head: “Master, regarding what you said today, I’ve thought about it.”
“You still think it’s inappropriate?”
Su Wei nodded guiltily: “Yes. I think—”
All her words were blocked. Su He kissed her, then pulled back slightly: “You were saying?”
“I…”
“Saying what?”
“I want…”
“Saying what.”
Every time Su Wei tried to speak a sentence, Su He would kiss her, stealing her breath before asking again. In the end, she finally changed her words: “Haven’t thought it through. Haven’t thought it through yet.”
Only then did Su He let her go. But she didn’t rush to let Su Wei leave. She hugged the shadow guard and whispered in her ear, “Do you truly feel nothing at all? Then why is your heart beating so fast?”
Su Wei paused. She held her breath and accurately caught the sound of her own heartbeat, beat after beat. Was her chest resonating?
Confusion surfaced in her eyes as she stood there helplessly.
Thankfully, her Master didn’t hold her for too long and soon let her go bathe. But they couldn’t sleep. In the middle of the night, they got into a carriage and left that place. Su Wei also didn’t know what Su He was doing; she could only follow along with the carriage.
Perhaps because her thoughts were too tangled, she developed a low fever midway. Su Wei’s mind was muddled. Every time she woke, she found herself in a familiar embrace, and the first person she saw upon opening her eyes was always her Master. It seemed this person had completely embedded herself into her own life.
Her low fever lasted three days. The convoy traveled day and night for two days without stopping, save for brief moments of rest.
By the time Su Wei felt her consciousness clear, it was already the fourth day. It was late at night. She opened her eyes and saw Su He sleeping. She opened her mouth, then closed it, thinking to move slowly and get off her Master.
But the slightest movement alerted Su He. Su Wei was held by her Master, unable to move, and could only give up.
“Awake?” Su He quickly became alert. “Your body isn’t fully recovered yet. Why run?”
Su Wei whispered, “How can I let you hold me? I should get down.”
Su He said directly, “I like you. Is it wrong to hold the person I like?”
She didn’t give Su Wei a chance to interject, immediately asking, “Don’t you want to stay by my side?”
Su Wei went mute. She had indeed been very clingy to Su He these past few days, her body unconsciously seeking closeness. Often, a thought surfaced in her mind: she didn’t want to be apart from her Master.
This thought was so clear, even when she was sick.
“I do want to.” Su Wei bit her lip. “But it can be overcome. I should still get down.”
“Don’t move!” Su He suddenly said sharply. “Sit still and don’t move.”
Su Wei indeed stopped moving. The next moment, she heard her Master speak to the coachman driving outside: “Let’s rest here for a while. We’ll continue after a short break.”
Only after saying this did Su He let Su Wei get down. She reached out and pressed a finger against the shadow guard’s lips, lowering her voice: “Come out with me.”
Su Wei didn’t understand, but she still followed. Su He led her to a place with a very open view.
“I lived here before, so I’m somewhat familiar with the terrain.” Su He took off her outer robe and laid it on the ground. She looked at Su Wei. “Come sit.”
Su Wei obediently complied, still worried: “Master, it’s cold. You should put your robe back on.”
“Shh.” Su He breathed out. “Look up.”
Su Wei subconsciously obeyed. The moment she raised her head, she met a sky full of stars, so dazzling, so brilliant. The moonlight perfectly embellished the entire sky, illuminating their silhouettes.
This was the first time she could see such a beautiful sky.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Su He held Su Wei’s hand. She said, “This place is much more beautiful than the Capital. You can’t see scenery like this in the Capital.”
“Su Wei.” Su He turned her head and asked, “Is it beautiful?”
Su Wei was stunned by the beautiful scenery. Her eyes were bright, and she looked at Su He with excitement: “Truly beautiful, Master. I’ve never seen anything like it.”
Su He’s gaze fell on Su Wei, so affectionate. Her fingertip traced from Su Wei’s earlobe down to the shadow guard’s lips. Her voice was incredibly touching: “Su Wei, I also think you’re beautiful. This is a gift I prepared for you. Do you like it?”
“I like it.”
Su Wei replied in a low voice. Just as she raised her eyes, Su He kissed her. She leaned backward, her waist supported by her Master’s hand. In this moment, she clearly felt the sound of her heartbeat in her chest—
