Chapter 37: Towards Death, Towards Life

Su Wei recalled everything that had happened before and found it only ironic. She had been about to accept herself, and it turned out it was all just toying with her. So much so-called love was merely a fantasy she alone had conjured.

From beginning to end, she was the only one who fell into it. What was real, what was fake? She had been deceived by the person she trusted most.

Deceived so cruelly.

A tear slid from the corner of Su Wei’s eye, tracing down her face to drip onto the floor. She suddenly laughed, took two steps back, and quietly looked at Su He. After a moment, she spoke: “Shadow Nine understands. I won’t disturb the Master anymore.”

With that, she turned around, wiped away her tears with her hand, and walked out. She didn’t want to see Su He; she didn’t want to see anyone. She was like a laughable clown, stupid and detestable.

“Little Nine.” The Leader, who had been waiting outside, called out to stop her. “Are you alright?”

Su Wei turned around, her eyes lifeless, staring directly into the Leader’s eyes. She forced a smile: “I’m fine. You should go see the Master. Shadow Nine was too impertinent.”

The Leader felt Su Wei’s state was off. Just as she reached out, Su Wei dodged. The shadow guard stepped back two paces and said softly, “It’s nothing. I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

She wanted to leave after saying this. She didn’t want to see the Leader, even less did she want to vent these emotions in front of anyone.

But things didn’t go as she wished. Su Wei was called to a halt by Shadow Seven. Probably because she looked too disheveled, so many people were paying attention to her.

Su Wei stopped her steps. The moment her gaze shifted to Shadow Seven, she suddenly seemed to understand something. She heard Shadow Seven ask her, “Are you alright? Your complexion doesn’t look right.”

“I’m fine.” Su Wei tilted her head and smiled. “I think what you said that day was very reasonable. I should just climb up. Someone like me is already useless.”

Shadow Seven frowned, her tone urgent: “Don’t say that. That day was my fault. I apologize to you.”

“No need.” Su Wei stepped forward and hugged Shadow Seven, whispering, “You are my best friend by my side. Help me investigate something.”

Shadow Seven paused, but still agreed. She heard Su Wei’s voice: “A type of gu. One that makes a person unconsciously cling to another, and also causes brief memory gaps.”

Su Wei’s gaze was fixed on a single spot, her eyes numb and hollow.

.

After Su He had torn through the pretense that day, Su Wei instead became obedient. That night, she said nothing, lying on the bed and waiting obediently for her Master to return. These past few days, she had acted normally, as if nothing had ever happened.

Su He even asked her: “Do you like me?”

Su Wei smiled at her: “Of course I like you. Shadow Nine likes Master the most.”

She was so well-behaved, appearing harmless. Every day she obediently drank her medicine and greeted people when she saw them.

But Shadow Seven sensed a change in Su Wei. She went with Su Wei to the backyard and told her the results of her investigation: “I’ve looked into it. The only gu with this situation is the Life-Death Gu. One Life Gu, one Death Gu. The Death Gu is completely controlled by the Life Gu’s host.”

Su Wei made an “Ah” sound. Dressed in white, she leaned back and asked, “So can the Death Gu not resist at all?”

“There is one way.” Shadow Seven turned her head. “That is, the Death Gu kills the Life Gu. But at that moment, the host of the Death Gu won’t live much longer either.”

Su Wei lowered her head and smiled. Her voice was very soft: “Thank you.”

Shadow Seven said, “After all we’ve been through, why do you need to thank me?”

“Yes, you’re my friend, even closer than family.” Su Wei raised her head, exhaled a breath, and looked up at the sky. “I hope so.”

If she was suspected, Shadow Seven couldn’t escape it either. If she was a suspect, so was Shadow Seven. It couldn’t be that palace attendant, after all.

But this kind of suspicion was too heartbreaking, and Su Wei felt sorrowful every time she thought about it.

Yet she also needed to bow to reality.

Su Wei stayed in the inn room. The medicine prepared for her sat on the table, as it usually did. She had always listened to her Master, so she usually drank it all. But after Su He left, she didn’t move.

Very soon, she felt a piercing pain. Su Wei gritted her teeth and endured it for a moment, but she still couldn’t resist the power of the gu insect. Just before she lost consciousness, she drank down the medicine she had taken out. She slumped to the floor, leaning against the table leg, slowly feeling the pain fade away.

There was no trace of joy on Su Wei’s face. She sat blankly on the ground and slowly closed her eyes.

This gu destined her to never stray too far from Su He. Her Master, the person she had wholeheartedly wanted to protect, had treated her this way.

So, did Su He like her? Perhaps she did. But Su Wei suddenly understood: she had been trapped here by Su He, just like the birdcage behind her. Everything had left its traces, after all.

Su Wei choked out a few tears. She clutched her lower abdomen, preventing the wound from reopening. These past few days, she had observed Shadow Seven. Details she normally overlooked surfaced one by one. She stood on the second floor of the inn, silently watching Shadow Seven.

She saw Shadow Seven’s small movements—those hands, tapping out information with hand signals.

Su Wei remembered now. This hand language seemed to have been something Shadow Seven learned for her. In the end, it was all used against her. A fitting conclusion, in a way.

She was stupid, not to have discovered it after so long.

Su He and the Leader must have discovered it too. They were probably suspecting her. Su Wei suddenly remembered that day in the inn when she encountered an assassin. Could that also have been a test?

Then, would Su He feel regret… that she didn’t die?

Su Wei drank her medicine and ate every day, but her complexion only grew paler. It was obvious at a glance that her physical condition was not right. But she didn’t mind much. This was fated. She was like a bird being admired; everyone was playing with her.

So she hated it, thoroughly.

Su Wei’s nature was pure—in matters of love. Originally, she was one of the most outstanding shadow guards. How could she possibly not hate?

From birth, she understood the principle of repaying grievances with vengeance.

The gu inside Su Wei meant she couldn’t run far. So Su He was very assured about her, letting her go out as she pleased. She even praised her a couple of times upon hearing the palace attendant report that she had gone out.

At those times, Su Wei would rub her face against Su He’s hand and say, “I bought some medicinal herbs. I’ll make a sachet to give you when I get back.”

Su He said she was looking forward to the gift.

Shadow guards had to undergo rigorous training, and poison identification was the most basic skill. Su Wei methodically picked out the herbs she needed, then carefully ground them into powder and stored them in a safe place.

After handling everything, she would sit in the room and embroider the sachet.

Su Wei wasn’t skilled at needlework, but she was meticulous enough. The pattern on the sachet was a bird.

When her Master returned that night, Su Wei would personally deliver it.

That night, Su He even brought back candied hawthorn. She handed it to Su Wei, her mood quite good: “Try some.”

Su Wei ate one piece and couldn’t eat more. She shook her head and offered the stick back, but Su He casually placed it on the table.

She was pulled over by Su He. Su Wei straddled Su He’s lap. She bent down and kissed her Master. After a long moment, she heard Su He ask, “Do you want to go back?”

“I do.” Su Wei hugged Su He. She said, “I miss the food at the Shadow Guard Camp.”

Su He found this amusing: “How could you miss eating that kind of food? I’ll take you to eat good things.”

Su Wei gave an “Mm” and then heard Su He whisper in her ear: “Very soon, we can go back.”

At this moment, Su Wei also understood: this massive net, the extent of which she still didn’t fully grasp, was about to close.

At night, she nestled against Su He. Her Master never thought her words were problematic. And indeed, it was true. Shadow Nine was born to be the Master’s blade. If the blade dulled, it just needed to be sharpened.

Su He also showed not a shred of guilt. Su Wei was obedient, as if those previous conversations had never existed.

Only Su Wei struggled painfully, floundering in the mire.

.

The next morning, Su He went out. Su Wei wasn’t in a hurry. She watched Shadow Seven send out the secret signal and quietly waited for nightfall.

Their operation was at night. Su Wei bathed early and changed into the red dress Su He had prepared for her. She hadn’t liked it much at the time, so she had left it untouched.

Tonight, she donned it anew and went to the backyard, finding Shadow Seven preparing there.

Not many people came to the backyard. At this moment, it was just the two of them.

“Make sure to come back safely tonight.” Su Wei looked at her with concern. “Why do you seem so nervous? It’s not because I’m not going with you, is it?”

Shadow Seven said helplessly, “Get lost, get lost, what nonsense.”

Su Wei laughed: “Want some wine to boost your courage?”

Shadow Seven sighed: “My alcohol tolerance is poor. Forget it.”

“Then have some water.” Su Wei patted her shoulder and turned to bring out two bowls of water. The two squatted on the ground, their bowls clinking together with a clear sound.

After drinking, Shadow Seven stood up. She handed the bowl to Su Wei and said sincerely, “You take care too.”

With that, she turned to leave. But the next moment, she stopped dead in her tracks. Unable to hold it back any longer, she vomited a large mouthful of blood. Her body collapsed straight backward. Su Wei caught her very naturally, then hid her in a dead corner of the backyard.

Su Wei crouched before Shadow Seven and asked, “Does it hurt?”

Shadow Seven’s face was full of disbelief: “You… why?”

“No reason. Shadow Seven, I trusted you so much, liked you so much, yet you dragged me out to cover for you.”

Su Wei let out a dark chuckle: “That prison was so cold. That sword strike really hurt. Shadow Seven… I’m about to die.”

Shadow Seven didn’t answer her. She tried to crawl away but was dragged back by Su Wei. “This type of poison is very painful. It slowly eats away at your internal organs. We spent so many years together, but you only wanted my life all along.”

“You really deceived me so cruelly.”

Blood continuously gushed from Shadow Seven’s mouth as her life steadily faded away: “…Sorry.”

Su Wei shook her head: “It’s useless. You’re too wicked. But I still want to help you.”

As soon as the words fell, the sound of a blade sinking into flesh rang out.

Shadow Seven’s eyes widened as she watched a dagger plunge into her abdomen. She couldn’t utter another word.

Su Wei’s face was expressionless. She drew the dagger out with both hands—the one He Erlu had given her. It had truly come in handy now.

She clenched the dagger tightly, blood staining her hands. Dressed all in red, she watched as Shadow Seven breathed her last breath.

Su Wei suddenly let out a soft laugh. The next moment, she fell to her knees and burst into silent, choking sobs, covering her face. The suppressed weeping was mixed with her despair. The cooling blood smeared onto her face, threatening to shatter her heart and soul, leaving behind only endless suffocation.