A Figure on Jade Steps in the Wind and Snow 48

Chapter 48: The End

All was silent, and not a human voice could be heard.

The twilight fell on all four sides.

Jiang Yu’s head was very light, and it rested motionlessly on her shoulder.

Shen Zhishu turned her head and glanced at the top of that person’s head, which was tinged with a warm color by the candlelight.

Shen Zhishu did not speak, and the hand on Jiang Yu’s back used a little force.

She said silently, Mm, I’m listening.

Jiang Yu’s voice came over from her spine, muffled and swaying—

“Jiang Chu was not my biological sister. More than thirty years ago, my mother could not have children, but she really wanted to have a legitimate eldest imperial daughter, so she adopted a three or four-year-old orphan from the imperial clan and raised her under her knee.”

“An older sister is like a mother. I know how difficult it was for Jiang Chu. She could have ignored me and let the wet nurses and matrons take care of me.”

“At that time, she was fourteen, and our mother-empress passed away. Our mother-empress also passed away a month later due to excessive grief. I was only three months old and didn’t understand anything. Rumors gradually started in and out of the palace, saying that I had a hard fate and had caused the death of my parents.”

“Jiang Chu beheaded a few people who were gossiping, and then took me into the Hall of Mental Cultivation, personally taking care of my three meals a day. She did everything herself as long as it was related to me.”

Jiang Yu turned her head halfway, facing Shen Zhishu’s neck. So when she spoke, Shen Zhishu could feel the breath of that person slowly flowing onto her skin.

This breath was different from the usual Jiang Yu, it was warm and sticky.

She heard Jiang Yu continue to say softly:

“Jiang Chu was very good to me… but she was too good, which made me a little at a loss. For example, I have another legitimate sister, and Jiang Chu did not treat her as carefully and eagerly as she treated me.”

“At first, I deceived myself and told myself that perhaps it was like this between sisters, or perhaps the age gap between me and Jiang Chu was too large, and it was possible that she was raising me as her daughter… until that day.”

“At that time, I was fourteen. I came back from school early, and I was originally thinking of secretly scaring Jiang Chu, so I walked without making a sound. There was no one guarding outside the Hall of Mental Cultivation. I thought it was strange, but I didn’t think much of it and secretly sneaked into the hall.”

“Do you know what I heard? I heard a suppressed moan, that was—”

Jiang Yu paused and said, “That was Jiang Chu pleasuring herself.”

“I also heard… my name.”

Because she had just cried, Jiang Yu’s breath was uneven, and she couldn’t say a long string of words smoothly, having to gasp for air after every few words.

Shen Zhishu patted her on the back and said, “Mm.”

Jiang Yu took a light breath and continued slowly, “Jiang Chu didn’t know I had been there that day. She always thought she had hidden it well. She thought I would internalize all the unreasonable things as deep sisterly affection. Perhaps she is an arrogant person at heart, thinking that everything is under her control.”

“But how could that be? Paper can’t wrap fire. Her subsequent actions were all just deceiving herself in my eyes, trying to cover things up.”

“I have been thinking, if I hadn’t left school early that day, or if I had made some noise when I entered the hall, I would probably have grown up to this day without any awareness, and there wouldn’t have been such a deep rift between me and Jiang Chu…”

“So I sometimes think, our sisterly relationship is so strained. Jiang Chu is certainly at fault, but am I not at fault too?”

“Especially… today Jiang Chu told me that the ‘aphrodisiac’ that night was unintentional. In fact, it wasn’t an aphrodisiac, but was for promoting blood circulation, just to make me feel more cheerful. The aphrodisiac effect was just a side effect, and it would have been fine in a short while. Otherwise, it couldn’t have been so easily resolved.”

“General, do you think I should believe her? Am I being too paranoid? I suddenly feel that I might have been a little too decisive with her.”

“And on second thought, Jiang Chu has never shown that kind of attitude in front of me. It can be completely explained by ‘it’s just that our sisterly affection is a little deeper’.”

“Everyone has evil thoughts. A gentleman is judged by his actions, not his heart.”

Jiang Yu lowered her head slightly and buried her head in Shen Zhishu’s chest.

Her voice, muffled by the fabric, came through soft and blurred, each word tinged with a dull, melancholic ache.

“I don’t know what to do anymore, I really don’t know,” she shook her head gently. “General, tell me, what should I do, alright?”

Shen Zhishu wrapped her arms around the back of the person in front of her’s head. Jiang Yu’s head was as small as a pine cone in her hands.

She paused, then moved her hand to the top of Jiang Yu’s head and rubbed it lightly and heavily twice.

“What should I do…” Jiang Yu sobbed again, and her hands around Shen Zhishu’s waist tightened.

She didn’t seem to be stubbornly seeking an answer, but just didn’t want to stop.

Perhaps it was because once it became silent, the emotions, both overt and covert, would surge up and become even more helpless.

The one who tied the bell must be the one to untie it. A heart disease must be treated with heart medicine.

Emotional matters can probably only be understood by the person themselves, and what others say doesn’t count.

Thinking this, Shen Zhishu said softly, “Your Highness doesn’t know, and I don’t know either.”

“…” Jiang Yu seemed to have been choked for a moment and suddenly raised her head from Shen Zhishu’s arms, “The General should say something to comfort me.”

“Actually, whatever I say about the grievances between you sisters doesn’t count,” Shen Zhishu thought for a moment and said. “Then I’ll just say that in my opinion, Your Highness is not at fault at all.”

Jiang Yu had already stopped crying and shook her head sullenly, “…The General is being too biased.”

“Really,” Shen Zhishu said. “What crime has Your Highness committed? Your Highness said that a gentleman is judged by his actions, not his heart, but the Emperor calling out Your Highness’s name while pleasuring herself, is that not an ‘action’? It is human nature for Your Highness to become distant from the Emperor since then. In my opinion, it is Your Highness who is too strict with yourself. Even if it is more than twenty years of nurturing grace, it was not what Your Highness asked for, it was her own wishful thinking.”

Jiang Yu stood quietly in Shen Zhishu’s arms. Shen Zhishu looked down from above and could see her moist eyelashes and pale face.

The tear tracks on her face were not yet dry and were glistening in the candlelight.

Jiang Yu’s back was so thin, different from everyone else she had been with before. It seemed that with just a light touch, it could break in the evening wind.

Shen Zhishu was silent for a moment, released one hand, took out another handkerchief from her sleeve, and pressed it on Jiang Yu’s face.

Jiang Yu blinked, and her eyelashes brushed against her palm through the handkerchief. Her attention was diverted by another matter, “Why does the General have two handkerchiefs?”

“I knew you would cry, so I brought one specially. Do you believe me?” Shen Zhishu said with a light laugh. “Poor thing, your face is streaked with tears, and your pearl powder is also mottled.”

“I didn’t wear powder today.”

“Your Highness’s bare face is no different from when you are wearing makeup,” Shen Zhishu said.

Jiang Yu pulled the handkerchief from her face, suddenly raised her face, and asked, “What kind of person does the General think I am?”

Shen Zhishu thought for a moment, “I’m not good at describing. Your attendant said you are a good person, so I’ll just say you are a kind person.”

“…” Jiang Yu said. “If the General wants to cheer me up, you don’t have to answer in such a perfunctory way.”

“How is that not a proper answer?” Shen Zhishu raised an eyebrow and asked. “Don’t you think you are a kind person?”

Jiang Yu was quiet for a while and said, “To make someone who cares about you sad is not considered kind.”

“If Your Highness says so, then there are no kind people in the world,” Shen Zhishu sighed. “Let me ask you, if you die one day in the future, will your child be sad? Does she care about you?”

“That’s a fallacy. I can never argue with the General.”

“It’s not a fallacy, it’s the truth,” Shen Zhishu said. “Your Highness is also very demanding of yourself. I’m curious what the Emperor said to Your Highness that made you so sad?”

“She…” Jiang Yu’s voice became lighter. “Probably, she has never been willing to let me be hurt, in any form.”

“So she said that if I was in too much pain… she was willing to let go and not actively seek me out anymore. She also said that I didn’t have to say it, she actually knew that we could only be sisters. She also said that she had hidden it for seven or eight years, and now she didn’t have to hide it anymore, and she felt light and free. In the end, she said that she just wanted me to be well, and that I only needed to consider my own feelings and not care about her.”

“General, the wind is a little strong, and my eyes are blurred. I can’t see the road ahead clearly.”

As Jiang Yu spoke, her voice became a little nasal.

She hadn’t cried when she was suffering, but when she suddenly felt the surging emotions that had spanned twenty-one years, her tears could not be stopped no matter what.

What was she crying about? Was she crying because she hadn’t handled this matter well? Was she crying because she had made someone who cared about her sad? Or was she crying for a journey that had ended without a resolution at this very moment?

Her shoulders trembled gently in the gentle breeze, like a white-feathered bird perched on a branch.

Shen Zhishu watched in silence, suddenly lifted her hood, and wrapped her head in it.

“Don’t cry. If you can’t see clearly, then you can’t see clearly,” she said in a deep voice. “I’m here, I’ll see for you.”

**

North of the manor.

Bathroom.

The First Imperial Princess was the most disheveled, but she washed the fastest. She got out of the bath in a few moves, her hair wet and sticking to her scalp.

“Your Highness, it’s cold outside, be careful of catching a cold,” an attendant said hurriedly by her side. “Your Highness, please don’t leave the bathroom yet. This servant will help you dry your hair. Anyway, there’s still half an hour before dinner, so it’s not too late to go out then.”

So the First Imperial Princess had someone move a chair in, sat down with a plop, and asked, “How are things outside? Have the Second and Seventh finished washing?”

“Not yet,” the attendant replied with lowered eyes.

“What about our mother-empress? Is she still in the flower hall? Did she notice the commotion in the small kitchen just now?”

“Probably not, the Emperor…” the attendant said. “She has left the manor. She said she won’t be staying for dinner and has to go back to mark memorials.”

“Our mother-empress is truly the most diligent person in the world!” The First Imperial Princess let out a long sigh. “No wonder she became the crown prince at the age of fourteen in the previous dynasty. It’s a pity that I’m already seventeen, and our mother-empress has no intention of appointing a crown prince. Perhaps if I were more diligent, I would be able to catch our mother-empress’s eye…”

The attendant was terrified on the side, but she didn’t dare to speak loudly. She could only remind her in a low voice, “Your Highness, be careful with your words! We are not in the prince’s manor now, be careful of the walls having ears!”

The First Imperial Princess waved her hand nonchalantly, “Oh, what’s there to hide about these little thoughts? Everyone knows, they just don’t say it. Take the Second Sister for example. She looks indifferent, but she has already left the palace and established her own household, yet she still often enters the palace, under the pretext of finding the Seventh Sister, but in fact, she goes to the Imperial Study to discuss governance with our mother-empress. Who can be fooled by these little thoughts? I heard that a while ago, because she went too often and was at a loss for words when discussing politics, she was even scolded by our mother-empress and ordered to stay at home and not to wander around the palace.”

The attendant did not dare to answer and silently dried the First Imperial Princess’s hair.

But the First Imperial Princess felt that it was not enough to just talk to herself, and she had to have the attendant give some comments, “Don’t you think so?”

The attendant said, “Yes, yes,” and was about to say something along those lines when she suddenly saw the curtain being lifted, and a gentle voice came in.

“Imperial Eldest Sister has a unique eye, what you said is very true,” the Second Imperial Princess stepped into the bathroom, clapping her hands, and said in a gentle voice. “So why don’t you tell me, Imperial Eldest Sister, what are these ‘thoughts that can be hidden’?”