Chapter 139: Silence
The brilliant and hazy sunset seemed to have cast a film between them. Su Yu’s gaze was deflected by the film. As if he hadn’t seen it, he ignored the hand that was extended in mid-air and silently carried his heavy suitcase into the house. It was no different from the countless times he had walked into the empty house alone with his schoolbag on his back.
He had once envied his classmates whose doors would automatically open from the inside with just a knock, while he had to use a rusty key to turn the lock for a long time before he could push open the old iron door of his house.
Su Yu put his suitcase in the living room and looked up at the woman sitting on the sofa. She was wearing an old-fashioned, bright red dress, her hands clasped on her knees, looking a little uneasy. The woman looked very young, but the few wrinkles at the corners of her forehead revealed her true age.
The woman looked up at him, her soft eyebrows drooping, as if they were soaked in water. He could vaguely see her youthful beauty… a bit… like Su Yu’s mother’s shadow.
In Su Yu’s memory, his mother’s appearance was already blurry. Occasionally, he would remember, but only a hazy outline remained. But the first time he saw the woman, he thought of his mother, as if those memories that had been sealed in the deep sea had been salvaged from the darkness, so few yet so precious.
Perhaps his mother was not a perfect person, but people always have a strange fantasy about things they haven’t had much contact with. He would rather never see his mother again in this life than see his father casually find a substitute and bring her home.
“This… this is your…” The man behind him suddenly caught up, standing between Su Yu and the woman, stammering, not knowing what to say.
Father Su was a man who was still handsome in his middle age. His eyebrows were firm, and his features were sharp. Compared to Su Yu’s slightly softer eyebrows, he had a more tough and mature temperament. Su Yu looked more like his mother, but he still had his father’s shadow.
“She’s Auntie Fang Yan, and also your stepmother. From now on, we’re a family.” Father Su hesitated for a moment, then gritted his teeth and spoke.
Su Yu stood there with a blank expression. He had already heard this familiar speech from Father Su once, and the details were even the same. He didn’t feel anything, and he didn’t plan to make things difficult for the woman, let alone blame her. They just needed to leave him alone like before, living their own lives, not disturbing each other.
“Hello, Auntie Fang.”
Su Yu suppressed the raging fire in his heart. He lowered his head and called out to the woman, then carried his luggage back to his room. He slammed the door shut and leaned against it, feeling a little weak. This time, he had restrained his temper, but the annoyance in his heart was still raging. He covered his face as if he were wearing a broken mask. Helplessness, pain, and anger… seeped out from the edges of the cracks.
He just didn’t want the woman who had only been with him for a short while to be so easily replaced, but he also didn’t want to vent his anger on another innocent person.
The door suddenly knocked. Fang Yan’s voice came from outside. She had lowered her posture, as if she were pleading. “Su Yu? Can you open the door? I have something to ask of you.”
Su Yu sat in the darkness for a while, then slowly stood up and opened the door. He looked at the woman outside. Her face was not at all like the shrewish stepmother in a cheap soap opera. Instead, she was uneasy and avoided Su Yu’s gaze, but she really wanted to talk to him.
“Is there anything else, Auntie?”
Su Yu turned on the light in the room. The warm light eased the tense atmosphere between them a lot, and he also tried to make his tone as gentle as possible.
“Can I come in and talk?”
“Yeah, you can.” Su Yu looked at the pleading in Fang Yan’s eyes and didn’t refuse. He stepped aside to let her in and moved a stool for her. “Sit down.”
“Thank you.”
Fang Yan hesitated for a moment and then sat down. She wiped the cold sweat from her palms on her clothes. “Um… this is the first time we’ve met. I don’t know what you like, so I bought you a watch. I hope you don’t mind.”
She took out a rather exquisite box from the bag she was carrying. Su Yu didn’t know much about these things, but he roughly knew the brand of the watch. The price was definitely not low. It should be a very expensive gift.
“You’ve spent too much, Auntie. There’s no need for this. And I don’t really like to wear watches.” Su Yu looked away from the watch and said softly.
“It’s okay. A boy… you don’t need it now… but you’ll need a watch to show off when you start working in the future. If you don’t like it, just keep it for now.”
Fang Yan seemed to have expected this. She gently placed the watch on the table. Her lips moved, but she couldn’t say anything. She fell into silence again.
“If you have something to say, just say it, Auntie. We’re… a family now. It’s okay.”
Su Yu smiled and broke the silence.
“Yes… a family. We’re a family.” The humble expression on Fang Yan’s face instantly turned into surprise. She repeatedly repeated Su Yu’s comforting words, and her worries dissipated a lot. “Um… I heard from your dad that you’re studying in Qingchuan now? At Qingchuan University?”
“Yeah, I’ve been studying for half a year.”
“Qingchuan University…” Fang Yan seemed to have remembered something sad. The light in her eyes was extinguished in the darkness. She seemed to be muttering to herself, her voice weak. “If Xi’er… if she had been obedient, she would have been in college with you.”
“Xi’er?”
Su Yu heard the end of the sentence. He thought for a moment. Xi’er… Su Xi, the girl Fang Yan had brought with her, his sister with no blood relation. He had not seen Su Xi many times, and her appearance was already blurry. The only thing he remembered was this simple name. Their understanding of each other was limited to the descriptions of Father Su and Fang Yan as a medium, no different from a stranger.
“She’s your sister. Her surname is Su now. She changed her surname… but she still uses her old name. She’s a few months younger than you. You took the gaokao in the same year.”
“She’s also at Qingchuan University?”
Su Yu’s heart suddenly beat faster. He was particularly sensitive to these blanks in his past. His speech became a little faster, and he was eager to figure out the discrepancy with his memory. He didn’t remember at all that his strange sister had also been admitted to Qingchuan.
“N-No.” Fang Yan immediately shook her head. She lowered her eyes and sighed helplessly. “She… was indeed admitted to Qingchuan University, but she didn’t go…”
“Why?”
“Sigh, because of me and your father. Xi’er’s personality has been a little strange since she was a child. She started school very late, and she didn’t like to interact with other classmates at school. But she’s very smart…”
Speaking of this, Fang Yan suddenly smiled, her eyes full of pride. “Her high school teacher always told me that her grades were not good. But I don’t know what kind of competition she won later. It was the most prestigious award. But it seems to have professional restrictions, so she went to Qingchuan University through independent recruitment. Otherwise, she could have even gone to Jiangnan University.”
“So… she dropped out of school?”
This was the answer Su Yu had come to. He only knew that Su Xi had not gone to school. He had simply thought that she had not been admitted to college. But he had not expected the truth to be like this. A curtain of a strange time seemed to have been lifted in front of him. They were hidden in the dark side of Su Yu’s past life. The things he had never explored because of his annoyance were slowly surfacing.
Admitted to Qingchuan University… dropped out without going. Perhaps he had also heard about this regrettable matter from Fang Yan’s mouth in the past. But he and Su Xi were just two parallel lines with no intersection. The lack of desire to understand would make the memory fragmented and damaged, turning into fine sand and sinking into the long river of memory.
“Yeah… she went to Qingchuan, but her counselor told me… Xi’er didn’t attend a single class after she registered. I had to apply for a leave of absence for her. Now she’s living alone outside the school.”
After Su Yu heard everything, he looked up and met Fang Yan’s hopeful gaze. His tone was calm. “Not wanting to go to school is a psychological problem. I can’t help. You should take her to see a psychologist.”
“I know, but she’s not willing to go. She even… even threatened me with death.” Fang Yan suddenly grabbed Su Yu’s hand, her tearful eyes full of pleading. “It’s fine if she doesn’t want to study. It’s my fault. But she’s alone in a strange city. I’m not at ease. She’s a girl… what if…”
“…”
Su Yu silently pulled his hand away. The back of his hand was warm and wet. The sound of sobbing echoed in the quiet room.
“Auntie Fang, Su Xi should be your daughter, right? Why weren’t you by her side when she needed you the most? Are all you parents like this? Just like the person in the living room now, leaving your own child alone and only caring about yourself. It’s too selfish.”
“It’s not like that. It’s really not.” Fang Yan was almost choking. “I’ve been there many times. She hates me and won’t let me in. Just consider it a favor from me. She’s related to you now. If you weren’t in Qingchuan, I definitely wouldn’t have told you these annoying things.”
“And… I really want to start a new family with your father. He’s recently taken on a big business deal, and he’s very busy during the New Year. He can’t take care of himself. I have to go with him everywhere… I’m in a very difficult position.”
Fang Yan suddenly stood up from the chair and then knelt down heavily. She forcefully pulled up her sleeve, revealing the arm underneath. She pleaded and grabbed Su Yu’s wrist again.
“I divorced because of years of domestic violence. It’s all my fault that Xiao Xi has become like this. She’s really a good girl. I don’t ask for her to be successful. It doesn’t matter if she hates me forever. But… but I just want her to have a home. Even if it’s not me… someone should be with her. I really don’t want my own flesh and blood to be alone for the rest of her life. Please save her. Just consider it a favor from me.”
Su Yu felt his wrist gripped by Fang Yan’s icy palm. He stared blankly at the arm that should have been slender and fair—now covered with fierce, terrifying scars. Long and short marks littered her forearm, the stitches still visible, alongside burns from cigarette butts.
His heart suddenly tightened.
He stared at Fang Yan’s face, which was somewhat similar to his mother’s. He couldn’t help but wonder if his own mother had said the same thing before she left. She didn’t want her child to live alone. Maybe she had said it, but he had forgotten.
He repeated this strange name again.
Su Xi.
…
Su Yu pushed open the door and came out. He looked at the man who was squatting by the trash can, smoking silently, with a cold expression. The swirling smoke lingered in the living room, leaving a foul smell.
He couldn’t help but feel a flash of disgust in his eyes. He said lightly, “You guys leave today, and I’ll agree to take care of Su Xi.”
“Xiao Yu, I…”
Father Su slowly stood up. He looked at the boy who was now a little taller than him and subconsciously wanted to explain something again.
“No need to explain. I’m tired of your excuses. Isn’t this the reason you came back? I’ve agreed to your request. You can leave now.”
Father Su was silent. He took a long drag from the cigarette he had just lit and then forcefully stubbed it out in the ashtray, which was piled high with cigarette butts. He said in a hoarse voice, “Okay, we’ll leave today.”
