Chapter 80: Malice
“Qian Ge…”
You gently murmured the name the boy had whispered in his sleep. Such a beautiful name, it must belong to a girl…
What kind of emotion would make someone utter another’s name even in a deep slumber?
You know the answer. You often wake up from dreams on hot, restless, lonely nights, shouting his name. It’s only then that you realize, you regret it. You abandoned your pet, you were an unfit master.
…
You had once stubbornly believed that he was not irreplaceable. To entrust your will to live to a boy you had just met seemed too fragile and ridiculous.
But you had searched for so long and never found anything that could replace him. Some things seem to appear only once in a lifetime. If you had never met him, never lived in that remote place, never found a job as a teacher in that elementary school, never… on that day when the snow melted in early spring, watched him being bullied by a few mischievous children.
But you had met him. You could never find another one with that fragile and pitiful look. It seemed that only he… could be him.
After returning to Qingchuan, you began to plan your revenge. The pedantic parasites in your family were no match for you. They crumbled under your attack. Years of stagnant infighting had long since drained them of their will to fight. You easily uprooted them, and your status in the family gradually rose. The old factions could only huddle in dark corners, barely surviving.
You knew you had already fallen into a situation you couldn’t escape from. They had forced you. Even if you could now easily crush the culprits who had watered your bad seed with malice, like crushing insects, you didn’t dare. You were afraid… hatred was probably your only support after leaving him and returning to Qingchuan. If you lost that hatred, where would you go?
You often fantasized about what your life would be like after you had killed them all. You thought you could easily find a substitute to carry your love. But the reality was different. You suddenly realized that the hatred of these past years had already dragged you into the abyss, leaving you surrounded by darkness.
You successfully stood at the top. With a wave of your hand, countless slaves would be willing to prostrate themselves at your feet, their heads serving as a cushion for your fair, jade-like feet, bowing down to you.
But during the days of revenge, you were always walking on thin ice. This made you meticulous. No matter how good someone was at hiding their intentions, you could see the ugliness in their hearts with just a glance.
Even eye contact made you feel disgusted…
After so many years, you were still alone.
Then, on a desolate night, you suddenly thought of him.
It was supposed to be a night of celebration. You had completely defeated a powerful enemy that day. At the celebration banquet, you made an excuse to go home early. You sat alone in the early spring night, drinking sullenly. You suddenly remembered the boy you thought you had long forgotten. But you quickly suppressed that thought. You probably didn’t want to admit defeat, to be a ridiculous person.
But later, you thought of him more and more often, mostly in your dreams. And just as your fingertips were about to touch his cheek, you would wake up with a start. The feeling of loss was almost driving you mad. His appearance had completely stirred up your empty pool of spring water, making you toss and turn at night.
But you hadn’t even dared to inquire about him all these years. You were afraid you wouldn’t be able to resist. Even though you really wanted to see the boy grow into a handsome young man, wondering if he was still as weak and pitiful as when you first met him.
But the little conscience you had left told you not to drag him down with you. You were a demon flower that had bloomed from a bad seed. Anyone who got too close to you would be unlucky.
However… he had suddenly appeared in front of you again, so suddenly, so unexpectedly, just like when you first met.
You began to think, why can everyone in this world live a good life, so coincidentally find the person who can carry their love at some point in their lives, and then leave this world when their life ends?
And you happened to meet him, as if countless invisible threads were pulling at your wrists, making you meet in the vast sea of people. Even if you were separated, you would be slowly pulled closer, eventually coming to each other’s side.
Once this thought started, it couldn’t be stopped.
Actually, if you could still maintain your rationality in front of others, you would have easily seen through the flaws in this thought. But people always find countless excuses for themselves when they want to do something. In the end, you just wanted to do that thing. The end of escaping desire is still to indulge in desire.
…
He was back now, in your arms, but he smelled of someone else.
You were a perfectionist, and naturally, you didn’t like your things to be stained with the scent of others. Although the cause of the matter was your unannounced departure, but… but…
You still didn’t want to forgive him so easily. This would give you an excuse to punish him. You were starting to find reasons for what you wanted to do again.
You looked at the boy’s frowning eyebrows, which seemed to be infused with water. Some wicked thoughts made the violent impulse in your bones quiet down a lot. You lifted the boy’s handsome chin, as if admiring a work of art. Those thoughts slowly took shape in your heart.
You had already thought about how to deal with him, how to make the boy your exclusive property. You would brand him with your mark, like a master putting a beautiful name tag on a beloved pet, so that the boy would never be able to escape your control for the rest of his life.
The boy could only see your existence, only hear your voice, only touch your body. And his smile, his voice, his body, and even his soul could only belong to you.
This wasn’t enough, far from it… you were a bad seed to the core. Getting even was etched into your soul. How could you be so generous as to let go of those who had once stained the boy with their messy scents?
You would use your own methods to completely possess the boy’s body and mind, to make him remember you forever. You didn’t mind being discovered, and you even enjoyed letting those who had coveted the boy see.
You wanted those who coveted him to watch their beloved boy grovel at your feet, craving your kisses, to watch as the delicate silver threads were pulled between your lips, to watch as the boy they loved, pressed under you in the throes of passion, said that the person he loved was you, only you.
Only with absolute obedience, with his eyes seeing only you, would you achieve the perfection you pursued.
You were such a disgusting and dark person. Just thinking about these scenes made you excited, your body trembling, your soul shaking.
However, this day would come, it definitely would.
But… it wouldn’t hurt to collect a little interest first.
You looked at the sleeping boy, your wet and sticky tongue licking the corners of your lips. Your mouth slowly widened into a ferocious and terrifying grin.
T/N: The author switches the characters’ point of view, as seen here, changing to second person (You)
