Chapter 94: Like
The hands of the clock were ticking. He had already forgotten how many times he had counted. He only knew that time seemed to be passing very, very quickly, so fast that he couldn’t count, so fast that when he lowered his head and then raised it, the time had already jumped from the afternoon to ten o’clock at night.
The house was filled with a thick darkness, and it was rolling and howling in the cold wind. The lights were not on, and the whole house was so dark that not a single ray of light could penetrate. He was wrapped in a coat and was sitting against the wall at the entryway. He was silently blending in with the surrounding shadows, and the thick darkness made him feel a sense of suffocation.
But he thought that what he needed was not oxygen.
A promise is really a good thing. It’s like the most effective stimulant in this world. Just one shot can pull him up from the bottom of the abyss. It makes him wait and wait with a secret sense of excitement, from sunset to dark, and then to late at night…
The excitement was rolling in every corner of his body during this time, bringing a scorching temperature. If he took out the thermometer in the drawer and measured him at this time, his condition would probably be even more serious.
The more fulfilling and expectant he was when he was hot, the more empty and helpless he was when he was cold. It was the greed in his heart that had overdrawn his happiness. Otherwise, how could he be so sad now?
But so what if he really came? They couldn’t do anything. They would have a dinner, and then they would have to part again. But he just suddenly wanted to see her face, so that he would know that he could see her again at any time. A person who has been lonely for a long time should be like this. He was frantically finding excuses for his strange behavior in his heart.
Su Yu suddenly thought of something. He stood up in the darkness with the help of the wall. Before he could even turn on the light, he rushed to the bedroom. He ran to the floor-to-ceiling window and looked out.
Most of the houses in this neighborhood, where there were many old people, had turned off their lights before ten o’clock. A little later, not a single light could be seen in the entire building. He craned his neck and looked out, trying his best to see far. He soon found the building the girl had mentioned.
He counted from the first floor, and he went up layer by layer, looking for it house by house. His eyes were dry and sore from being open in the cold wind for too long.
Su Yu, what are you doing? You’re like a crazy pervert.
His gaze finally stopped at the house on the seventh floor, which was facing him. The curtains were not drawn, so the light from the living room was shining straight out. His vision soon became blurry, but that ball of light completely dominated his vision.
She’s clearly at home. Then why didn’t she come to find him? Why… did she lie to him?
An uncontrollable sadness engulfed him like a tide. He was so sad that he couldn’t control himself. Didn’t he say that everything was slowly getting better? Why did he have to play such a joke on him?
He started to find reasons for the other party again. He wondered if the definition of “night” was too broad. Perhaps the other party still remembered, but it was just a little later. Or perhaps something important had happened and needed to be dealt with urgently.
Something important…
He regretted that he had forgotten to save the other party’s phone number at that time, which was why he was so confused and was thinking about things now. But what if there was really something important? Something that needed his help, and he was still in the empty house, doing nothing.
I’ll go and help her. Yeah… I won’t do anything else.
I’ll just go and help her. And also…
I want to see her.
…
The night wind was desolate. The rows of trees were waving their withered and bare branches in the wind, as if they were performing a dark and devout sacrifice.
A figure with a bent back secretly walked out of the building. He was holding a coffee-colored scarf in his hand and was shrinking his body. His steps were furtive, like a little thief who was about to sneak into someone else’s house.
Su Yu was breathing out a steaming white mist. He was wrapped in a thin black coat, and his messy and long hair was tied up with a thin rope, revealing his entire pale and handsome face.
He tried his best to make himself not look as pathetic as when they had first met. But the clothes in his closet, including the dirty and old work clothes from the construction site, were pitifully few. After much deliberation, he still chose the black coat he was wearing, which was neither good nor bad. It was just a little thin and could not be used to keep out the cold.
His hands and feet were cold, and the pounding of his heart in his chest gave him the body temperature to maintain his strength. He was squeezing the strength in his body. He crossed the heavy darkness and plunged into the door of the apartment building.
His whole person was in a state of suspicion and unease. He was like a startled bird. Every nerve was so sensitive and fragile that it would break with a single touch.
Su Yu suddenly stopped in front of the elevator. His impulsive action was not enough to prepare him.
Was it a cold and indifferent questioning of the other party’s lies, or was it a smiling return of the scarf as if nothing had happened?
Reason told Su Yu that it didn’t have to be her. There were many other people in this world who loved him or whom he loved.
But… but… the only person he could express himself to seemed to be the girl.
He really had nothing left. He only had her by his side, but she still didn’t belong to him.
The fear of loneliness had overcome his reason.
Su Yu reached out and pressed the elevator button. He strode in, pressed the number, and then stared at the numbers as they jumped up one by one.
He had thought about a lot of things during this time, so much so that the elevator, which was not very high, seemed to have been climbing for a long time.
With a crisp sound, the elevator’s sense of weightlessness made his head dizzy. The elevator door slid open lightly. He walked out of the elevator with some eagerness and went straight to the second-to-last door on the left side of the corridor.
His wet and greasy fingertips were on the doorbell, hovering. He held his breath and then pressed the doorbell with a heavy heart. He was worried that it would seem too rushed and reckless. He deliberately paused for a while before he pressed the second time. No one answered. He then slapped the door with his palm.
The lonely sound of knocking echoed in the empty corridor. It was as fierce as a storm. But the door was standing in the wind and rain, motionless. It was blocking him from the outside.
The door was still welded to the wall. A door… had thrown him to a side that was full of loneliness and solitude. And on the other side was the happiness and joy that he had been longing for but could not get.
He lowered his eyelashes and didn’t speak. His long and neat eyelashes were trembling slightly, and they were covered with water droplets. He didn’t know if it was sweat or tears. He was still holding the scarf in his hand, and his palm, which was soaked with wet and sticky sweat, had defiled the originally sweet and warm fragrance.
Su Yu knocked a few more times, unwilling to give up. The night was silent… no one answered. He turned and left in dejection. The desolation was along his spine and was pressing his head to the soles of his feet. The voice-activated light above his head dimmed and went out. The corridor was filled with darkness, and a black curtain was on his heart, and it had lost its meaning of beating.
He was walking towards the top of the stairs with his neck drooping. Suddenly, a crisp and clear sound of a bell rang. The elevator had just stopped on this floor. He was stunned for a second, and the strength in his body suddenly erupted. He ducked into the stairwell next to the elevator and looked out from the shadows. The light from the elevator was on the floor, and the voice-activated lights were lit up one by one, heading towards the deep part of the corridor.
The sound of high heels on the white porcelain tiles was no longer light. The unsteady and slow pace made people feel a deep fatigue.
After a while, the woman’s figure appeared in his view. A large, chestnut-colored windbreaker was wrapped around a tired and drowsy body. She was holding a stack of even thicker documents and was walking quickly past the stairwell.
Su Yu held his breath, and his gaze was locked on the departing figure. The… too many suspicions and scruples he had had had long since made him lose the ability to love. No matter how strong the emotion was, it was just a fear of loneliness. It was not like, let alone a single bit of lust.
This boundary seemed to have been blurred at this moment. The dead heart was lying in his chest without any vitality, but the moment he saw her, it was rekindled. His whole heart was pounding with joy.
He thought that if a person would always think of another person when he was lonely, besides the two answers of love and like, what else was left?
The stairwell was narrow and cramped, and a cold and desolate wind was blowing.
He touched his face. It was a little hot. Perhaps the fever had not completely gone down.
