Chapter 11: Hesitation
A scream erupted from the bathroom. The sound of footsteps was chaotic, almost as if she were in a panic, and she almost fell.
The little girl held on to the wall to steady herself. A red cloud climbed up her cheeks, and a hint of shame and anger was hidden in the depths of the clouds. She covered her chest, which was throbbing violently. The memories were chasing after her from behind. The masculine and restless scent was lingering at the tip of her nose, and it was expanding into her heart with an aggressive look.
“What’s wrong?”
A voice full of confusion came from the bathroom. She shivered and lowered her head. Her tender white and soft and glutinous toes were on the ground, and the fine blue veins were faintly visible on her porcelain-white instep.
“Hey, why aren’t you wearing any clothes…”
He Mu Qing covered her face and rubbed it. Her palm was burning hot.
“My clothes were all wet yesterday. I’ve already washed them. This is the last one.”
A trickling sound of wringing out clothes was heard. Su Yu walked out from inside, and he was holding a half-dry piece of clothing in his hand. His upper body was bare, and his thin and slender muscles were slightly tensed. The lines were distinct, and they were sharp and deep. He looked at He Mu Qing’s red earlobes and realized his negligence. His tone was calm and gentle. “Then… then I’ll stay in the bedroom and won’t come out.”
“Don’t… don’t go.”
She called out to him, and her gaze couldn’t help but slide over those unsightly lines. Her heart was beating faster and faster. She opened her mouth but was like a mute. After a long while, she tilted her gaze and looked at the cold and icy floor. “I’ll go and get you some clothes.”
He Mu Qing rushed to the bedroom without a second thought. She opened the wardrobe and took out a few long-sleeved T-shirts that she had bought before as pajamas. They were all large-sized men’s styles, and they had been in the wardrobe and had been collecting dust since autumn.
She was sitting on the side of the bed, and her clothes were in her arms. She took a deep breath and exhaled the turbid air from her chest.
The blush had faded from the base of her ears, and the scorching heat had also slowly cooled down.
She lay on her back on the bed, and her body was in the soft fabric. She was looking at the gray and white ceiling in a daze, and she didn’t know what she was doing at all. She was as if she were lost in a deserted and deep sea, and she was just looking for an isolated island. She knew that the road ahead was long and hard to find, but she was willing to be trapped in a prison.
Her hair was a mess from her venting. Four years… some things that should have been forgotten a long time ago were still so turbulent the moment she saw him. But she was still cowardly, and she was still hesitant…
“Here, see if it fits.”
Her hair was tied into a neat and high ponytail, and her cold, pale, beautiful face was exposed. Her pride was as charming as a raging fire, and the people who got close to her would always feel a sense of shame.
Su Yu took the clothes and roughly compared them. The size was a little small, but he should be able to barely fit into them.
“I didn’t expect to be taken care of by you now.”
“Hmph… stop being so smug. I’m living a good life on my own.”
She was quite disdainful and pouted, hating the other party’s lecturing tone. It was as if she were always naive and impulsive. In the end, she thought that his like was also the same. She could even think of the excuses she might hear when she was rejected, and she was in pain again.
“Then have a good rest today. There are still leftovers in the refrigerator. What do you want for lunch?”
“Egg fried rice.” She didn’t hesitate much and almost subconsciously affirmed.
“Yeah, it will be ready soon.”
He stood up and took a few eggs from the refrigerator. He turned on the fire, started the pot, and heated the oil… a bowl of fried rice was not complicated. He had only known how to make this before, and she had often eaten it.
The chopsticks were clinking in the bowl, and the round egg yolk was beaten into fine pieces. The snow-white foam of the egg white was slowly becoming thick.
The midday sun was shimmering. He looked up and was blinded by the sun. He was a little unaccustomed to the suddenly clear weather.
He lowered his head again and listened to the boring and uninteresting noon news on the TV in the living room. The hot oil was sizzling at the bottom of the pot.
The lines in his mind, which were in a mess, suddenly became clear. Slowly, they outlined the patheticness of her dark circles under her eyes. When she had woken up in the morning, she had looked at the weather as a habit. The capital was still being ravaged by a thunderstorm all night.
He thought of her insomnia. Her frail body. Her lack of security.
But when he was craving for her to be in a lingering embrace, the pleasure of playing with people’s hearts was so addictive to her. This twisted and unrequited love, which could not be defined afterwards, made him so angry.
The egg liquid fell into the oil pot and immediately puffed up into a flower. A few drops of hot oil splashed on his hand, and the scorching heat had dyed his skin red. He suddenly came back to his senses and put his hand under the cold water to rinse it. But a small blister still appeared, and a wave of a stinging pain was tormenting him.
…
“What are you doing? You’re a grown-up. How can you lock yourself in the house?”
Wang Yao had received the message and had immediately rushed over from the school. She had opened the door with the spare key that He Mu Qing had left in the dorm to save her.
“Nothing. Just a little accident.” He Mu Qing took the key and put it away. Her eyes were a little uneasy and were on the floor. “Um… you can go back first. I’m not going to school today.”
“Hey, it’s noon. I didn’t even get my beauty sleep and I rushed over. I haven’t even stood firm yet, and you’re already rushing me to leave?”
Wang Yao was standing at the door without moving. Her long, wavy hair was draped down, and her voice was also loud. It was so loud that He Mu Qing’s heart was pounding. “Um, have you thought about going to the beach? You ran away in the rain for no reason last time. You didn’t even take an umbrella. It was as if you were possessed.”
“I said it’s nothing. We’ll talk about the beach later.”
“Hey, hey, hey. What are you cooking in your kitchen? It smells so good.”
Wang Yao twitched her nose and smelled a wave of an oily fragrance. Her spirits were lifted. “I’m just hungry. I haven’t had breakfast yet. Miss He shouldn’t mind having another bowl in the house, right?”
“No!”
He Mu Qing’s answer was firm. She was pressing on the door with more force, and her scalp was numb.
Wang Yao frowned and opened her mouth, wanting to say something more. But the expression on her face suddenly froze. Her fingertips were trembling as she pointed behind He Mu Qing. She was as if she had seen a ghost, and she was stammering and couldn’t speak.
After a long while, she finally came back to her senses. She saw the man in an apron clearly. Her frightened voice was sharp. “Who is he? Mu Qing, you… you have a man hidden in your house? Why is he wearing your clothes?”
…
“A classmate, a relative, or a boyfriend?”
Wang Yao rubbed her hands. She had no interest in the oily and fragrant egg fried rice in front of her. Her eyes were shining as she stared at Su Yu, and she was looking him up and down.
“Mu Qing and I are…”
“Eat!”
He Mu Qing knocked on the rim of her bowl and glared at Su Yu fiercely. “Just cook. Who told you to run out?”
“I couldn’t find any scallions. I was just going to ask you.” Su Yu smiled helplessly and then looked at Wang Yao. “You’re Mu Qing’s classmate. I’ve heard her mention you.”
“Is that so? It seems that having a man with her hasn’t made her forget about me, her good sister.”
“What are you talking about?”
Her ears were red. He Mu Qing was slapping the table, and her voice was louder than everyone else’s. “He and I are just…”
She paused, and the quiet little deer began to make a fuss again. It was hitting her ribs with pain. Then she nodded against her will. “Yeah… just friends.”
“Alright, alright. Friends are friends. I won’t say it.”
Wang Yao’s boisterous personality was also able to see the situation clearly. She just looked at the T-shirt on Su Yu’s body deeply. “Hey, by the way. We’re planning to go to the beach. Do you want to come along?”
The hand that was holding the chopsticks suddenly tightened, and the fingertips were pale, and they were white. He Mu Qing inadvertently glanced at him, and her usual wantonness when they were alone was gone. “Yes. Aren’t you leaving in a few days? Let’s go and have some fun before you leave.”
He thought for a while and nodded in a muffled voice.
…
The sun had set, and the moon had appeared.
The evening was dark, and the streetlights were dim. The night bus was not crowded, and most of the seats were empty in the shadows.
She was sitting in the back seat, leaning against the window. Her dark eyes were looking up, and she was watching the moon slowly reveal its outline, and it had a full view. It was a crescent moon, as if it had been cut by a knife, and only a narrow crescent was left. The sunset was its blood.
The car stopped at the side of the station. She walked into the bustling night crowd alone and slowly disappeared into the street. Only the red leather suitcase that was dragging behind her was conspicuous.
