Chapter 18: Unwilling
The light pierced in, bringing a riot of color, and on the retina, it slowly outlined her silhouette and the monotonous gray and white.
Su Yu watched as she slowly walked in. The door was gently pushed back and then closed again. After a crisp click, the noisy and chaotic sounds in the corridor immediately disappeared, and only the two of them were left in the room.
She was hesitating at the door, and she was stammering and not speaking. It was a long time before she had squeezed out a conventional greeting. That appearance was not like her at all. Her fierce and ruthless style was hidden under her frail and weak appearance, and her hesitant appearance was out of place with her personality.
“Are you feeling better?”
Xia Qiange stared at the collar of his shirt, which had two buttons undone. The exposed skin was wrapped in a very thick bandage, and his face was also pale, and his breathing was frail. He was so light that it was as if he could not be held. She had seen this terrible appearance in the mirror many times. Before, it was just her who was suffering. Now she had tormented him like this.
“It doesn’t hurt anymore.”
He pursed his pale and chapped lips and squinted his eyes to look at the uneasy girl in front of him. The self-blame was written in her dark eyes. It was as if it were real, and also as if it were fake. It was both illusory and real, and it was confusing him. If he made a wrong choice, it would be an irredeemable disaster. He had been bitten by a snake once, and besides, his wound had not yet healed.
“Come and sit. Aren’t you suffering from low blood sugar? It must be uncomfortable to stand…”
Su Yu waved his hand and asked Xia Qiange to come over, as if he had forgotten that the pure and harmless-looking girl in front of him was the culprit of all this.
“Did you not eat well again? You looked much better for a while, but now you’re thin again…”
Xia Qiange’s left hand, which was hidden behind her, was trembling, and her breath was unsteady. She didn’t understand why he was saying these things.
She had originally thought that he would be angry, hateful, and indifferent. She had thought of countless scenes of being coldly questioned by him. She was lying in the empty hospital room on the other side, and she was looking at the ceiling and had thought of many convincing reasons. She had even thought of lying and saying that she had a mental illness, which was why her behavior was so extreme.
In short, she had to keep him, and she had to do it without any reservation. The years of endurance and scheming, in one night, were almost completely destroyed. She was like a small fish that was lying in the sand at the bottom of the sea. Without the filthy and turbid mud, she would be completely exposed to the light, and there would be no place for her anywhere.
“Did you leave? I’ve resigned from my job, and I’ve also given up the house. I’ve been looking for a long time, but there’s nothing left that’s worth remembering. It’s all like a dream. It’s all my fault.”
Xia Qiange was sitting on the empty bed across from him, and her expression looked calm. Her hysterical behavior was also calm, and even her eyebrows and eyes were cold, and it was hard to see what was inside.
She lowered her eyes, and she was pitiful. “I’m sorry. I just can’t control myself. As you said, it’s a disease…”
“We… is there still a chance?”, she bit her lower lip, and the soft lip was broken. The blood had dyed her lips a bright red, which was in contrast to her pale skin. Her voice was also choked. If a few crystal-clear and hot tears were to fall, it would probably be even more lethal. Anyone would have a soft heart. “If you want, we can go back to the capital and renew the rent. Yeah… let’s start over…”
She had already disregarded her dignity, and the words she said were also ridiculous. A despicable and shameless person could always say something to ask for forgiveness with a straight face after hurting the other party.
“I’ve actually never liked the capital. It’s too far from a familiar place, and the winter is long and cold, and the traffic is also crowded. I’m not used to living there…”
Because of her, he hated that place.
Her experience was not enough to support her to interpret everything optimistically. When she was in the darkness, she would easily believe in the light. But in order to live, she had to get used to the darkness.
A heart was falling straight down, and the panic of not hitting the bottom was surrounding her. She was subconsciously grinding her sharp nails, and she was just a tile’s distance away from him. Xia Qiange didn’t dare to get close. An invisible barrier was at her and his feet, and they were so close yet so far.
It was as if she deserved it. But how could she be reconciled?
“Qian Ge, I’ve thought about it…”
“It’s all my fault. You don’t have to tell me in a hurry. I’m afraid I won’t be able to accept it, and I’ll do something stupid again.” She saw him open his mouth and suddenly interrupted, changing the subject. “Forget it… think about it again. I’ll peel an orange for you.”
Xia Qiange slowly stood up and looked at the messy and chaotic consolation gifts on the table. She rummaged around, and the table, the drawers, the floor… she didn’t see a fruit knife. So she could only take an orange and peel it with her hand.
Her gaze inadvertently fell on the thermos. The sea-blue bottom, the half-pink heart, and the wavy pattern of the opening were very similar to the cheap souvenirs that were sold in the souvenir shop at the seaside.
She turned the cup and looked at it for a long time, but she couldn’t find where the other half of the heart was hidden. In the end, she could only sigh, and a smile was on her lips. “Shouldn’t this kind of cup be a pair?”
“Maybe I just bought it casually and didn’t pay attention.” Su Yu didn’t pay much attention to it. He just remembered that when Wang Yao had come in, she had thrown everything on the table.
“I see. That’s a pity.” Xia Qiange nodded and slowly put down the cup. But her eyes were still staring at the half-cracked heart, as if she still wanted to tear it open even more.
The phone by the bed vibrated. She picked it up and glanced at it. “The porridge I bought has been delivered. I’ll go down and get it. You should get some rest.”
She put the peeled orange by Su Yu’s hand and rushed out of the hospital room with her phone. She wanted to escape the other party’s direct and serious attitude. It was like a gamble, but she couldn’t afford to lose.
She pushed open the door and turned her head. She saw the girl leaning against the wall, holding a bottle of hot thermos in her hand. The water mist was in her wet eyes, and her cheeks were slightly red.
Xia Qiange stopped, and her eyes were dark and uncertain. She walked over silently.
He Mu Qing lowered her eyes and saw the white shoes that had come into her view. She realized something and suddenly raised her head. “You’re awake?”
She slowly realized that she had asked a stupid question. If she hadn’t seen the inside of the hospital room, what was she waiting for here?
“Yeah. I’m going downstairs to get some porridge…”
Xia Qiange nodded, and her gaze went straight to the familiar thermos in the girl’s arms. The other half of the lost heart had found its trace here. She looked at the wavy pattern of the opening, and it was a perfect match.
“What’s wrong?”
The temperature had dropped for a moment, and the hot air from the mouth of the cup had dissipated. He Mu Qing frowned and asked.
“Nothing.”
Xia Qiange suddenly smiled brightly, and the corners of her eyes were curved like a shallow crescent moon. “This cup is very pretty.”
With a suspicion, her sensitive nerves were plucked, and a sense of crisis suddenly arose. The morbid thought that had been suppressed had woken up again, and it was sinisterly at work.
The feeling of being out of control was really making her uneasy.
It was just a matter of reining in at the brink of a precipice. Then she would rather make a mistake again and again.
“I’m going in.” He Mu Qing glanced at her, with no interest in talking.
“Hey…”
He Mu Qing turned her head, a little impatient. “What’s wrong now?”
“Ah Yu’s body is a little afraid of the cold. He doesn’t like places with a lot of moisture. He’s prone to catching a cold and coughing. It’s better to bring him to this kind of place less often next time.”
Xia Qiange smiled with a nonchalant look. When she was speaking, she was gently rubbing the ring on her left middle finger, as if it were unintentional. The light from the ceiling was scattered and was reflected by the translucent diamond, and it was in the girl’s violently shaking eyes.
“Oh, didn’t Ah Yu tell you?
She shook the wedding ring on her finger, and a faint dimple appeared on her lips.
“We’re getting married soon.”
