Chapter 1
Have you ever tasted what it’s like to miss someone for years?
That taste is like all five flavors mixed together—sour, sweet, bitter, spicy, and salty, with none missing.
But the sweetness within it is so faint it’s almost negligible. Waiting day after day gradually blows away the joy of the past.
In the end, even when you try to revisit it, the memories that once made you smile have lost their original flavor.
A fine rain drifted outside the window as night fell, starless and moonless. The sky was as gloomy as a giant black curtain, sealing the world tightly shut, not letting a single sliver of light through.
A bedside lamp was lit in the room, its light, like a thin mist, enveloping the sleeping person.
Bo Muyu hugged her comforter, the corners of her lips curved into a smile.
She was dreaming of her childhood, dreaming of Jiang Chenyin—the person who would squat down and smilingly embrace her small body.
Her father would always stand, then bend down, clap his hands, and say to her with a hearty laugh, “Xiaoyu, come, let Daddy hold you.”
Her mother would always stand by her father’s side, her eyes filled with doting affection as she watched the two of them, asking, “Xiaoyu, do you like Mommy’s hugs or Daddy’s hugs?”
But every time Jiang Chenyin approached with grace, she would always squat down to meet her gaze, her eyes bright and captivating, her features exquisite. She would gently hold Bo Muyu and occasionally say in her melodious, enchanting voice, “Muyu, let me see if you’ve grown taller.”
In the dream, the snow outside was falling thick and fast. Her parents had invited Jiang Chenyin over for a barbecue. The three adults were talking and laughing while Bo Muyu sat obediently in her chair, easily captivated by Jiang Chenyin’s smile.
Her parents had a wonderful relationship and always had endless topics to discuss. Jiang Chenyin would listen with a smile, chiming in with a reply from time to time.
She would also check on Bo Muyu from time to time, seeing if the child was bored, if she might throw a tantrum for being ignored, or if there was something she particularly wanted to eat.
As her mother was skewering meatballs, Bo Muyu blinked twice. Jiang Chenyin’s sharp eyes caught it, and while the couple was deep in conversation, she put down the bamboo skewer in her hand and went over.
She squatted in front of the chair where Bo Muyu sat, took Bo Muyu’s small hands in her own, and, looking up, asked with a smile, “Muyu, what do you want to eat? I’ll grill it for you.”
“I want meatballs,” Bo Muyu said, licking her lips.
She glanced at the freshly skewered meatballs in her mother’s hand, then looked down at Jiang Chenyin squatting before her. A smile suddenly bloomed on her slightly chubby cheeks. “And hot dogs.”
Jiang Chenyin smiled patiently and asked, “Alright. Anything else?”
“Can I have anything I want?” Bo Muyu asked in a sweet, childish voice, but her expression fell a moment later. “But Mommy and Daddy don’t let me eat too much barbecue.”
“Eating too much isn’t good for you,” Jiang Chenyin said, stroking her hair. “But you haven’t even started eating yet. It’s okay to have a little bit of everything.”
Bo Muyu nodded several times, her smile widening to reveal two small canine teeth. “Auntie Yin, you’re so good to me.”
“Silly child.” Jiang Chenyin smiled faintly, stroking her soft hair.
“Auntie Yin, will you be good to me for a lifetime?” Bo Muyu pressed, her small hands turning to grasp Jiang Chenyin’s.
She had heard her parents say the word “lifetime.” Her father had said it meant from now until they grew old.
A lifetime. It seemed so very long, so long that she couldn’t imagine what she would look like at the other end of it, or what Jiang Chenyin would look like.
Jiang Chenyin was momentarily surprised by her question, but when she glanced at the affectionate couple nearby, she seemed to understand. She replied in a warm voice, “Of course. But when you grow up, there will be someone else who will be even better to you than I am.”
Without a second thought, Bo Muyu shook her head, shaking Jiang Chenyin’s hand along with it. “No, I only want you.”
Jiang Chenyin chuckled and patted her little head, explaining what she had just said. “It’s different. When you grow up, I’ll still be good to you, but by then, there will be another person in your life. The kindness this person gives you is one that can accompany you at every moment. It’s different from the kindness I give you, or the kindness your mommy and daddy give you.”
Bo Muyu pouted in confusion. “Auntie Yin, I don’t understand. I don’t want that person. I don’t even know who that person is.”
Jiang Chenyin gently pinched her cheek. “You’ll know in the future. For now, let’s get some delicious food. I’ll get you a little toy, and you can play with it while you wait for me, okay?”
“Okay!” Bo Muyu nodded with a smile, instantly forgetting the topic she hadn’t understood.
She watched as Jiang Chenyin stood up to get her a teddy bear, then returned to her parents’ side.
Hugging the teddy bear, she secretly peeked over.
Sometimes her gaze would meet Jiang Chenyin’s. The other woman’s eyes, already holding a smile, would grow even warmer the moment they looked at her.
Then, the clear picture began to blur, as if a cloud of fog was covering Bo Muyu’s eyes. She couldn’t hear her parents’ voices or see Jiang Chenyin’s face.
She felt as if she were in a speeding car, but what flashed by wasn’t scenery, but countless familiar images and half-remembered words.
“Xiaoyu, your Auntie Yin has gone abroad. We don’t know when she’ll be back.”
“Xiaoyu, this is your nineteenth birthday present from Auntie Yin. She’s not coming back this year.”
“I wonder when Chenyin plans to come back. She’s always abroad.”
All the memories were buried under a thick layer of sorrow. Bo Muyu’s nose tingled, and she could no longer hold back the tears welling in her eyes.
The person who said she would be good to her for a lifetime was absent year after year. Even in her dreams, she couldn’t escape the fact that that person had been gone for a very long time.
She didn’t know when Jiang Chenyin would return, if Jiang Chenyin would ever return, or if those words from her youth still counted for anything.
As she awoke, Bo Muyu was still in a daze, as if in the dream. A teardrop clung to her eyelashes. Jiang Chenyin’s gentle words echoed in her ears—Of course. But when you grow up, there will be someone else who will be even better to you than I am—and the image of Jiang Chenyin’s captivating face as she said them seemed to replay before her eyes.
She wiped her eyes and propped herself up against the headboard. The light from the bedside lamp was too weak to dispel the heavy darkness that saturated the room. In the warm, orange glow, her eyes looked moist.
Four years. Jiang Chenyin had left when she was eighteen, and now four years had passed.
The “lifetime” promised that year was now missing four years. How many more would be missing?
This question often plagued Bo Muyu upon waking. She never had an answer, and she never dared to ask Jiang Chenyin.
They still kept in touch. During their phone calls, she would recount everything that happened at university.
Jiang Chenyin would listen patiently, then chat with her with a light laugh, but she never mentioned a word about when she would return.
Dreams like this were a common occurrence for Bo Muyu. She gathered her thoughts, glanced at the time, straightened her pajamas, and left her room.
Before she even reached the dining room, she could hear her parents’ cheerful conversation. The hallway light shone on the girl, revealing a delicate air, skin as fair as jade, and long, smooth hair cascading down her back. A single glance revealed a pure and ethereal beauty.
She paused for a moment before walking over. “Dad, Mom.”
Bo Mingliang said with a broad smile, “Ah, Xiaoyu, just in time for dinner. You were sleeping so soundly, your father thought you were going to skip dinner tonight.”
Ye Xialan pulled her to her side with concern. “That’s right. Was work very tiring today? How come you fell asleep the moment you got home?”
Bo Muyu shook her head slightly. “It’ll probably be like this for a while. It should get better later.”
Her voice was exceptionally clear, like a pristine spring, and her tone was perfectly steady.
Ye Xialan stroked her hair. “Then let’s eat. We have your favorite dishes tonight. Eat your fill and then go back to your room to rest.”
Bo Muyu nodded, stood up to get a bowl of rice, and Ye Xialan and Bo Mingliang started chatting again.
Bo Mingliang took a sip of his drink and said, “By the way, dear, when are we going to go abroad for a few months?”
“Just eat your food.” Ye Xialan picked up her chopsticks and tapped her husband’s glass. “We’ll talk about that later. Not anytime soon. Chenyin is coming back. I need to get together with her.”
Bo Muyu, who had just sat down, felt her heart give a heavy thud. Then she heard Ye Xialan say, “We can talk about it after we two sisters have had our fill of catching up.”
Bo Muyu’s lips moved, and the hand holding her bowl trembled slightly.
Only then did Ye Xialan remember how much her daughter used to love clinging to her best friend. She quickly turned her head and said with a smile, “Oh, right, Xiaoyu. Your Auntie Yin is coming back. It’ll be in the next few days. When she comes over for dinner, you can compare your height with her. You should be about as tall as her now.”
Bo Muyu’s mind was buzzing, her vision blurring. She could only hear that one sentence.
“Your Auntie Yin is coming back. It’ll be in the next few days.”
She’s coming back. She’s finally coming back.
A smile appeared on Bo Muyu’s face. She picked up her chopsticks, lowered her head, and shoveled mouthful after mouthful of plain rice into her mouth. She remembered the last time she had seen Jiang Chenyin. Jiang Chenyin had hugged her and told her to study hard, and then, with a heart full of joy, she had kissed Jiang Chenyin.
A few days later, she heard the news that Jiang Chenyin had already gone abroad.
A tear fell into her bowl, but Bo Muyu tasted a long-absent sweetness.
You’re coming back. I’ve waited four years for you.
