Chapter 76
Duan Zhiheng was taken aback. “What’s wrong? Is something the matter?”
Jiang Chenyin’s voice was soft but solemn. “About the state of our relationship recently, both you and I are well aware of it, but we haven’t pointed it out.”
Duan Zhiheng was silent. After a long while, he closed the car door, his expression turning grave.
“You’ve known all along,” he said.
“Mmm, it would probably be hard for me not to feel it,” Jiang Chenyin sighed with a laugh. “I had the thought of giving it a try, but…”
She felt that she had returned to the starting point. What she was doing now was what she had been so resistant to in the beginning. She did not have the kind of feelings for Duan Zhiheng that could develop into a romantic relationship, yet she had let him invest his energy in her. Now that it was so obvious, she still couldn’t give him a definite attitude.
Lan Yuxin had said that this stage was something many people had to go through, but that was when both parties were willing. She had no such hope now. Even her attempt to persuade herself to try was based on the comfort she felt with Duan Zhiheng, and her original intention to struggle.
“Chenyin, do you not have any good feelings for me at all?” Duan Zhiheng moved closer to her.
“I admire you very much, which can also be called a good feeling,” Jiang Chenyin said, looking at him seriously. “But do you understand that feeling, the feeling of not wanting to develop it into another relationship?”
“You just don’t like me,” Duan Zhiheng said with a bitter laugh.
“I’m very sorry, but…” Jiang Chenyin paused, then smiled at him. “I’m unwilling to hurt others, but right now, I clearly don’t have that intention towards you, yet I’m letting you spend your energy on me. The result will not be what you want. So, I think we need to talk this through.”
Duan Zhiheng asked tentatively, “Maybe it’s a matter of time? We’ve only known each other for a little over two months.”
A hint of apology appeared in Jiang Chenyin’s eyes. “But our relationship is already a bit ambiguous, and I have no desire to be with you at all.”
Duan Zhiheng was silent again for a moment, then let out a low laugh, tinged with a bit of bitterness. “The way you say it, I feel quite sad. I have a very good impression of you, not just because we’re a good match. I really like your temperament. I’ve always hoped to be with a woman like you, and I also hope that my future wife will be such a gentle and kind person.”
This time, it was Jiang Chenyin’s turn to be silent. Only after a long while did she say, “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t…” Duan Zhiheng waved his hand, still smiling. “The reason you rejected me actually makes me admire you even more. Many people get together now without any emotional foundation. You don’t like me, so you reject my advances. I think that’s fine, although I’m very sad.”
His humor had returned, but this time, Jiang Chenyin couldn’t laugh.
She said to him seriously again, “Director Duan, I’m sorry.”
“Since that’s the case…” Duan Zhiheng looked up at the night sky, let out a long sigh, and then smiled at her. “Let me take you back.”
Jiang Chenyin shook her head slightly. “I’ll take a taxi back.”
Duan Zhiheng took a deep breath and couldn’t help but laugh. “Can’t I even take you back for the last time?”
“I’m sorry,” she said, holding out her hand. Her fine, smooth fingertips seemed to have a flowing light under the lights. “I hope we can be real friends in the future.”
“I feel like I’ve just been heartbroken…” Duan Zhiheng said with a regretful laugh, reaching out to shake her hand. “Then… as compensation, won’t you consider my drama?”
“Of course I’ll consider it. It’s a very interesting film,” Jiang Chenyin smiled and went along with his words.
Duan Zhiheng did not deliberately squeeze her hand. He was a gentleman, and had always been.
He watched her turn and leave in silence, and after she had taken a few steps, he said to her, “Be careful on the road. Goodbye, Chenyin.”
At home, Bo Muyu had cooked the meal and had been sitting in the dining room until the sky darkened, her body a little stiff.
On the dining table was a dish of cola chicken wings, a dish of mapo tofu, and a bowl of vegetable soup. They were all untouched and had lost their warmth. She just stared at the dishes on the table in a daze, her eyes without a focus.
Tonight was like a dividing line. If Jiang Chenyin crossed it, then there would be nothing more for her in the future. There would only be one person in Jiang Chenyin’s life who could bring her feelings related to love. Once this position was occupied, her existence would no longer have any meaning.
Her thoughts, her words, her actions would all become superfluous. Even staying by Jiang Chenyin’s side would become a luxury.
She took out her phone to look. There was no message from Jiang Chenyin, and her eyes immediately dimmed. She was probably clinking glasses with Duan Zhiheng and his friends, chatting about current affairs. Duan Zhiheng’s friends must also be elegant elders. These people would also think that he and Jiang Chenyin were a good match. They would express this view in a joking tone.
She bit her lip, unable to imagine how Jiang Chenyin would respond. But Duan Zhiheng would probably not explain. He would continue to care for Jiang Chenyin’s emotions with great attentiveness, and perhaps he would even go along with his friends’ teasing and confess his feelings to her after the banquet.
Bo Muyu gripped her phone tightly, her fingers turning white and aching, and a dull ache started in her stomach.
She looked at the food on the table, tossed her phone aside, and filled a bowl with rice to eat. The rice, which had been soft and fragrant when it was just cooked, had now turned cold. She ate it mouthful by mouthful without blinking, chewing mechanically.
Her stomach still hurt. She ate the food stiffly, but sometimes she couldn’t swallow even after taking several mouthfuls. She threw her rice bowl aside in annoyance, and the chopsticks clattered on the smooth tabletop.
Why was she so scared? Was it because she was afraid that life would be completely different after Jiang Chenyin came back? Jiang Chenyin clearly did not like Duan Zhiheng.
Bo Muyu clutched her stomach, wanting to force a smile, but the next second, she remembered that Jiang Chenyin had vaguely replied that she might have other intentions towards Duan Zhiheng in the future.
The pain in her stomach seemed to have spread to her heart. Her heart was sour and bitter, and no part of her body seemed to be comfortable. Even her breathing was not smooth. She belatedly realized that her vision was blurry, her eyes were swollen and hot, and tears were rolling down.
Bo Muyu frantically took out a tissue to wipe them, crumpling it into a ball and pressing it against her eyes. She thought, I can’t cry. Jiang Chenyin will find out. How will I explain then…
But the next moment, she was stunned. Jiang Chenyin would not be back at this time.
The hidden expectation in her heart was completely shattered, and all her tears were absorbed by the crumpled tissue.
Suddenly, the sound of steady footsteps in slippers came from outside the dining room, getting closer and closer.
No… how is that possible…
Bo Muyu frantically wiped her eyes with her hands and picked up the few balls of tissue on the table, throwing them into the trash can.
And then… what else…
Bo Muyu’s face was red with anxiety. She quickly stood up and blinked several times to hide the tears, the joy in her heart overwhelming. She left her seat and strode out, her body slightly hunched, her head down, wiping the corners of her eyes to make sure there were no flaws. Who knew that she would run headfirst into a soft body, and at the same time, a low cry sounded in her ear.
“Ah… Muyu, why are you running so fast?” Jiang Chenyin’s face was wrinkled in pain, one hand on her collarbone.
“I…” Bo Muyu rubbed her aching nose. Jiang Chenyin’s wrinkled face suddenly became vivid. She didn’t care about anything else and directly hugged her.
Jiang Chenyin was taken aback for a moment, looked at the untouched dishes on the dining table, and suddenly thought of the words she had promised on Bo Muyu’s birthday last year. She had left the person she had promised she would never leave behind at home, for someone else.
She inexplicably thought so, and an indescribable sense of guilt washed over her.
At this moment, Bo Muyu was hugging her tightly, her words unable to hide the curve of her lips. “Auntie Yin, why are you back? It’s only a little after nine. I thought you would be back very late.”
“Because I’m hungry, so I came back to eat,” Jiang Chenyin lowered her head, her eyelashes seeming to have a light flowing in them under the lights. She chuckled softly and stroked Bo Muyu’s hair. “I want to eat cola chicken wings.”
Bo Muyu was a little puzzled and looked up. “You didn’t eat enough? Was the restaurant Uncle Duan booked not to your taste?”
Jiang Chenyin was silent for a moment, then still curved her lips. “Yes, it wasn’t to my taste, so I came home to eat.”
Bo Muyu’s brow tightened. She could see something different in Jiang Chenyin’s smile. The birthday banquet tonight must not have been so simple. Could it be what she had hoped for?
That hope she didn’t dare to speak of, that malicious yet irresistible thought.
She didn’t dare to tell Jiang Chenyin, didn’t dare to ask.
After burying her head in Jiang Chenyin’s neck for a long while, Bo Muyu suppressed her emotions and said to her, “Auntie Yin, I’ll go and heat up the food. You can go and change and then come down to eat.”
“Mmm, then I’ll go upstairs and change,” Jiang Chenyin said, touching the corner of Bo Muyu’s eye, as if she understood something, and said to her in a low, gentle voice, “Eat with me. And that cake, I want to eat that too.”
The soft pads of her fingers touched the corner of Bo Muyu’s eye, with pity and affection.
Jiang Chenyin knew she was sad.
Bo Muyu’s heart was suddenly both sweet and sour. Sweet because Jiang Chenyin knew that she was reluctant but said nothing, and sour because Jiang Chenyin did not understand that this emotion was no longer based on familial love.
She sniffled and showed her small canine teeth to Jiang Chenyin. “Okay, I’ll go and heat up the food.”
Jiang Chenyin winked at her with a curve on her lips and turned to go upstairs.
Bo Muyu immediately went to heat up the dishes. The sound of her busy work came from the kitchen, and her figure went back and forth between the cabinet and the dining room several times. The air in the house seemed to be filled with a sweet taste because of these sounds.
By the time Jiang Chenyin had changed and come downstairs, Bo Muyu had not yet finished heating up the dishes. The two of them worked together, and the dining room was soon filled with a fragrant aroma.
When Jiang Chenyin was eating the cola chicken wings, Bo Muyu’s eyes were fixed on her. She didn’t know if reheating them would ruin the taste, or if there would be any extra flavor. In any case, she was very nervous.
But Jiang Chenyin ate very seriously, her movements slow and elegant. She gently bit into the meat, her movements small. After she finished, her eyes were filled with praise for Bo Muyu, and she said “very delicious” several times.
By the time they had finished their meal, it was already close to ten. Jiang Chenyin insisted on eating cake with Bo Muyu.
She was a little strange tonight. Bo Muyu thought as she brought a slice of cake to her.
Before Jiang Chenyin had almost finished the small piece of cake, Bo Muyu finally couldn’t help but ask, “Auntie Yin… did something happen tonight?”
Jiang Chenyin paused, then let out a soft laugh and looked at Bo Muyu.
Bo Muyu pressed her lips together and took her wrist. “Is there anything you can tell me?”
Jiang Chenyin’s eyes grew even warmer. “Is there anything I can’t tell you?”
Hearing this, the corners of Bo Muyu’s lips couldn’t help but lift. She pulled her chair a little closer, sitting very close to Jiang Chenyin. Her gut told her that what Jiang Chenyin was about to tell her was exactly what she wanted to hear.
“Actually, it’s just…” Jiang Chenyin paused, scooped up a little cream with a small fork, and held it to Bo Muyu’s mouth. After Bo Muyu had obediently taken the cream, she said in a warm voice, “I rejected Director Duan tonight, and I also made it clear to him that we will only be ordinary friends in the future.”
Bo Muyu’s lips were stained with cream. Just as she was about to ask a question, Jiang Chenyin pressed a tissue to her lips, her fingertips and her lips separated only by a thin sheet of paper. Bo Muyu’s heart suddenly swayed.
After wiping it clean, Jiang Chenyin did not immediately move away. Her fingers moved slightly to the corner of her lips, and after a sigh, she smiled, her words seeming to hold a hint of melancholy. “You heard what I said to Yuxin that day. I’m very conflicted. I’m both unwilling to touch love again, and I want to take the initiative to pursue someone when I meet someone I like. These two are inherently contradictory. Without getting along, there will be no feelings. This contradictory thought has repeatedly appeared in my mind since I met Director Duan. If he had been very obvious from the beginning, then we definitely wouldn’t have had any further interactions.
But he didn’t. He is indeed a very patient person. So, on the basis of being resistant to someone approaching me with such intentions, I decided to give it a try and see if I could like him. But the truth is, I don’t have any feelings for him. To this day, to today, I have no feelings, but our relationship has already become ambiguous.”
Speaking of this, Jiang Chenyin stopped, let out another faint sigh, and sounded very tired.
And since she had said this much, there was no need to say the rest.
Bo Muyu gazed at her, her voice deep. “Your state has become what you least want to see, which is that the other person is very likely to be hurt.”
Jiang Chenyin nodded, placed the tissue on the table, and then loosely wrapped her arms around Bo Muyu. Although her face was tired, she smiled at her gently. “So, I wanted to come back and eat cola chicken wings. To me, the cola chicken wings you made tonight are what suit my taste. I don’t want to think about it so much anymore, and I don’t want to struggle anymore.”
Her weakened appearance made Bo Muyu’s heart ache. Without a second thought, she pulled her into her arms. “Then don’t think about it anymore. Don’t think so much anymore.”
Jiang Chenyin obediently closed her eyes. The shoulder she was leaning on was not strong, but to her, it was like a safe harbor, a ray of sunshine.
“Muyu, I’m tired…” Jiang Chenyin murmured in Bo Muyu’s ear.
Bo Muyu’s heart ached so much that she tightened her arms, bit her lip, and her voice was a little hoarse. “I know. I understand everything.”
She had gotten the result she had been longing for tonight. The person she liked had not been taken away, did not belong to someone else, but she couldn’t smile.
If possible, it would be good if this kind of life could last for a lifetime, with just the two of them.
