Chapter 88
When Lin Chuwan left Bo Muyu’s house, she was still a little out of it. The conversation she had just had with her was like a dream.
To fall in love with her mother’s friend, what a surprising thing, but on second thought, it was understandable.
Bo Muyu had known Jiang Chenyin since she was a child. Bo Mingliang and Ye Xialan were so in love and would often have their own private time, and Ye Xialan’s relationship with Jiang Chenyin was also very good, which gave Jiang Chenyin a lot of time to be with Bo Muyu.
Jiang Chenyin was gentle and patient, and she was not married. In her free time, besides taking care of her parents, she would gather with her friends. Bo Muyu was introverted by nature and couldn’t get along with impatient people. This happened to be a perfect match with Jiang Chenyin, and their feelings for each other grew deeper over time.
In their many years of getting along, Bo Muyu had let this familial love change in nature. What about Jiang Chenyin? Had she not changed in the same way as Bo Muyu, or had she changed but hidden it, or had she, like Bo Muyu before, not noticed?
Lin Chuwan felt a headache coming on. She was still troubled even when Song Muqing’s car stopped beside her.
As soon as she got in and fastened her seatbelt, Song Muqing said coldly, “Why are you like this after just a meal? Did something happen that made you so absent-minded?”
“It’s none of your business,” Lin Chuwan said, not even looking at her. After she had sat properly, she looked straight ahead. “Let’s drive.”
“If you’re interested, you can consider it,” Song Muqing said in a placid tone, turning her head to gaze at her, a hint of an unreadable light in her eyes. “You’re not young anymore, and your auntie has accepted that you like women. It’s time to find someone to spend your life with. I think this junior is not bad. You’re from the same school, and you have a common language.”
Lin Chuwan met her gaze. “Have you said enough?”
“Are you angry again?” Song Muqing sneered. “Isn’t it normal for friends to become lovers? You’ve known each other for a few years, and you know each other. You’re also a good match in terms of family background. I think it’s very suitable.”
“I have no such intention. Xiaoyu and I are just good friends,” Lin Chuwan said, her hands clenched into fists, her eyes fixed on Song Muqing. “Even if you don’t believe me, you’ve seen Xiaoyu many times over the years. You should be able to tell what kind of person she is. There’s nothing between us. We’ve absolutely not crossed the line of friendship.”
Song Muqing gazed at her deeply. “You have no need and no obligation to explain your relationship to me. I’m not interested.”
Lin Chuwan forced herself to find some strength and said in a low voice, “Since you don’t want to hear my explanation, then don’t deliberately say such things.”
“Do you think I want to hear it?” Song Muqing said, squeezing the words out from between her teeth. “I’m concerned about your lifelong happiness, little sister-in-law.”
Lin Chuwan couldn’t help but laugh, her laughter a little bleak. “Song Muqing, do you really think of yourself as my sister-in-law?”
Song Muqing had been about to drive, but hearing her say this, her movements paused, and a sinister look covered her eyes, like an arrow dipped in poison. “Am I not? Have you forgotten everything that happened back then?”
Song Muqing’s expression was extremely cold. Even though Lin Chuwan’s face was already pale, she mercilessly threw those knife-like words at her, as if she would only be satisfied when she saw her unable to bear it.
Lin Chuwan bit her lower lip hard, but she was powerless to argue. She didn’t even have the right to say a single “no.” She could only live in such a state forever, atoning for her sins, repaying Song Muqing for the mistakes she had made.
On the way home, they were silent, as they always were. That kind of pleasant conversation only happened when Mother Lin was around. When it was just the two of them, it never happened. There was only coldness, anger, and tension.
Back at the Lin family’s house, after Song Muqing had parked the car, Lin Chuwan got out, not even looking back, and was about to leave.
“Lin Chuwan.”
Song Muqing’s voice made Lin Chuwan stop, but she did not turn around. This was Song Muqing’s usual attitude towards her in private. In front of Mother Lin, she would call her Xiao Wan. She would also address her this way when there were guests, and when they were out. Only when it was just the two of them would Song Muqing show her true emotions.
There was a dim light in the garage. Song Muqing walked up to Lin Chuwan, who turned her face away, not looking at her.
“When your auntie called me today, she mentioned you. She’s very worried that you won’t have a partner in the future, that you’ll be lonely. So she asked me to find a woman of good character for you. She doesn’t have to be a good match in terms of family background, as long as you like her and she’s good to you.”
Lin Chuwan’s lips were pressed together as she looked at her. “And then?”
Song Muqing let out a cold laugh. “So, what kind do you like?”
“Do you have to ask this kind of question? How do you want me to answer?” Lin Chuwan’s expression stiffened, a bitter smile on her lips, her voice low and trembling. “Or rather, what do you want to hear? If I say I don’t need anyone, and I don’t have a type I like, will you listen?”
Song Muqing turned a deaf ear and answered her question with another. “Since you don’t have a type you like, then I’ll just look around. We can talk about it after you’ve met them.”
After she finished speaking, she turned and left. Lin Chuwan gazed at her retreating back, and the bitter tide in her heart finally rose. What should she say at this moment? Admit her mistake, beg for mercy, beg her not to treat her like this anymore?
Lin Chuwan had never confronted her head-on. Every time she deliberately provoked her, it was as if her fist were punching into a ball of cotton. But such compromises were met with even more intense ridicule and provocation from Song Muqing. This kind of life was their norm.
Song Muqing was about to walk out of the garage, her figure about to be swallowed by the night. Lin Chuwan ran up a few steps and said in a hoarse voice, “Do we have to be like this?”
She saw Song Muqing’s figure pause, and then she walked into the darkness, only a faint sentence drifting back, “Isn’t this what you wanted?”
Lin Chuwan’s eyes immediately turned red. That’s right, this was what she wanted. Wasn’t that choice the result of this? Then what was there for her to struggle with?
The night seemed particularly gloomy tonight. The stars that usually twinkled were hidden, just like Jiang Chenyin’s mood at this moment.
She forced herself to focus on driving, parked the car steadily by the river, and walked alone along the riverbank in the cool night breeze.
She hadn’t entered the dining room just now. After hearing those words, she had quietly slipped out, changed her shoes, and left, not even leaving the mango pancake for Bo Muyu. It was as if she had never been there, leaving no trace that would let Bo Muyu know she had come.
Her mind was a mess. She walked aimlessly along the road.
Her heart was pounding. When she had heard Bo Muyu say, “I love her very much,” her heart was still pounding like a drum even now.
Just then, a scene she had never seen before made her feel an indescribable emotion again on this night.
Not far ahead, a couple was kissing by the guardrail. They were two women, a same-sex couple, and they looked like students. The girl with short hair was holding the girl with long hair tightly, her hands restlessly roaming over her back. The whole scene was a little awkward.
Jiang Chenyin’s footsteps stopped there, and for a moment, she didn’t look away.
Her gaze finally made the two of them realize. The girl with short hair, still holding the girl with long hair, shot her a fierce glare. “What are you looking at! Haven’t you ever seen a lesbian before!” Then the two of them, still holding each other, quickly left.
Only then did Jiang Chenyin come back to her senses and slapped her own face in annoyance.
Why hadn’t her first reaction been to look away? Such intimate behavior in public was already too much. Usually, if she encountered it, she would absolutely not take a second look. But what had she been thinking just now? Why had she lost her composure like that?
Jiang Chenyin had no intention of walking any further. She found a bench nearby and sat down, her hands propping up her forehead, her sighs masked by the footsteps of the passersby.
Scenes flashed through her mind, one after another, from Bo Muyu’s childhood to the present, from when she had kissed her on a whim at eighteen, to a few months ago when she had kissed her in the name of a reward. What she recalled more was their time together, which now seemed too ambiguous.
They had always been like that. As long as Bo Muyu was with her, she would almost always come to her bed to sleep at night. The girl in her arms had gone from a child to a young woman, and she had always maintained this habit.
Even when she had just returned from abroad last year, and the old residence was about to arrange another room for Bo Muyy, she had softened and allowed her to be as she was before.
She had never thought about what kind of impact her actions would have on Bo Muyu. She had never thought that something would go wrong, and now she couldn’t even think of where it had gone wrong.
She had missed those few years of Bo Muyu’s university life. She couldn’t imagine if she had been exposed to something in those years that would have made her develop such feelings for her. But in the nearly a year they had lived together, she had not noticed any signs. Everything was very normal, except that this child had become much more reserved.
In any case, it was not right for them to have such feelings.
Jiang Chenyin was in a state of panic and couldn’t sit still any longer. She got up, went back, and drove home.
The first step she took into the house, her heart was in even more of a mess, because this house was filled with traces of Bo Muyu everywhere.
She went to the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, and took out a can of beer, chugging down the cold liquid in the dead of night.
She felt that she had been terribly wrong. She hadn’t noticed at all that Bo Muyu’s feelings for her had changed, nor had she noticed that these feelings had reached a point where Bo Muyu could endure so much for them.
The words “I love her very much” echoed in her ears, and her fingers squeezed the can, making a crunching sound.
Just then, her phone buzzed with a message notification. Jiang Chenyin picked it up to look. It was a message from Bo Muyu. A picture of a three-dish-one-soup meal, with a note saying that she was having dinner with Lin Chuwan tonight, telling her not to worry.
Jiang Chenyin stared at the sentence for a long while before replying, “I’m busy.”
Bo Muyu quickly replied with an emoji, the same one of a dog being petted that Jiang Chenyin had sent her, and then replied, “Then can we video chat tomorrow?”
Jiang Chenyin drank the last sip of beer and replied, “I might have something tomorrow.”
This time, Bo Muyu did not reply quickly. Jiang Chenyin’s chest heaved, and her fingers trembled.
She tried her best to calmly refuse Bo Muyu’s request, and only dared to relax after Bo Muyu had said goodnight.
The night grew darker, with only the kitchen light on. Jiang Chenyin took out another can of beer and stayed in the kitchen for almost the whole night.
