Chapter 59: Don’t Want To
What was Yan Wei doing here? This was no longer the first thing Jiang Mi considered.
What she understood in her heart was—no wonder it was at this time.
In the days she had spent with Yan Wei, Jiang Mi had almost figured her out.
For example, now, even a director would rarely call an actor for an audition in the middle of the night. To put it bluntly, for a drama that was still in the casting stage, no matter how urgent it was, it wasn’t a matter of a few hours—of course, the director’s impatient nature could also be a reason.
But Jiang Mi knew that a more reasonable explanation lay with Yan Wei.
Yan Wei, in her bones, had an extremely strong desire for control. Her emotions, her actions, had always been at her own whim, unrestrained by any outsider.
That casual confidence stemmed from her transcendent status and background, enough to make her look down on everyone.
She had long been accustomed to giving orders, accustomed to others bowing their heads.
Accustomed to the submission and weakness of others, accustomed to playing with everything in the palm of her hand.
Accustomed to scrutinizing her surroundings with a cold gaze.
Naturally, she was also long accustomed to others lowering their heads in front of her.
For example, Jiang Mi herself.
“Let’s go.”
Zhao Jia’s voice suddenly pulled Jiang Mi back to reality.
The scorching hot air at one in the morning clung to her skin, and a lingering sense of fatigue pressed down on her. On the way here, she had been almost drowsy, but at this moment, when her gaze touched Yan Wei not far away, a strange clarity suddenly shot through her limbs.
Jiang Mi nodded and walked straight towards the director, who was also in Yan Wei’s direction.
Director Zhao Xi was over fifty, with short, orangey hair, and her rose-red lipstick was quite striking under the lights. Like her image in the industry, she was very distinctive. She sat leisurely opposite Yan Wei. Perhaps hearing the footsteps, or perhaps catching Yan Wei’s gaze, she also slowly looked up.
Jiang Mi took a very light breath, the corners of her lips curving into a proper arc. She took a few steps forward and said, “Hello, Director Zhao. I’m Jiang Mi.”
Zhao Xi’s gaze had already, without a trace, swept over the young girl in front of her from head to toe.
Her physical appearance was indeed impeccable. She was a seedling worth cultivating. But the inescapable personal connections in the industry still made her hold back a little and scrutinize her.
She couldn’t disregard Yan Wei’s face, so she hoped that the person in front of her would not make things difficult for her. Or, she should have been worse, and she would have had a more suitable excuse.
She smiled and nodded. “Hello. Xiao Wei has mentioned you to me more than once. It’s rare to see someone she would recommend. I couldn’t wait to see you in person. It’s been hard on you to be called here so late.”
Her tone was smiling, but her eyes were quietly and carefully judging Jiang Mi’s expression.
“It’s my honor, Director Zhao.” Jiang Mi seemed to have just noticed Yan Wei at the side. She turned her body, her voice a little lower, with a just-right amount of respect, “Hello, Teacher Yan.”
The corners of Yan Wei’s lips twitched very faintly. The cigarette butt in her fingers had already been silently extinguished in the ashtray. “It’s only been a few days. Are we strangers now?”
Her tone showed no emotion.
Jiang Mi’s throat tightened, and her heart felt as if it were being blocked by something.
Just then, Zhao Xi smiled and interjected, “I heard you two had a good time working together on your last drama? Since you’re familiar, that’s even better. Let’s not be polite. Let’s get straight to the point and try a scene, shall we?”
She touched her hair, clearly more concerned with the actual performance.
“Okay,” Jiang Mi nodded in agreement.
“Xiao Wei,” Zhao Xi turned to Yan Wei, “are you watching too?”
Yan Wei’s gaze never left Jiang Mi. After a moment, she nodded very slightly, as if in agreement.
The outdoor set built outside the studio didn’t even have basic ventilation.
It was the height of summer, and the stuffy heat of the night still lingered. The air, when inhaled into the lungs, carried a hint of agitation, draining one’s patience.
Jiang Mi unscrewed the bottle cap and took two big gulps of water. Her chest heaved as she let out a few heavy breaths, barely managing to suppress the lingering feeling of suffocation.
She looked up and met Zhao Jia’s worried gaze, and gently shook her head.
“I’m fine,” her voice was a little low.
“Of course I believe you,” Zhao Jia’s tone was firm. “You’ll definitely kill it up there.”
In her heart, she was actually holding back a sentence she couldn’t say. What she was worried about was not Jiang Mi being timid in front of Director Zhao Xi, but—Yan Wei’s presence.
She couldn’t know for sure what Jiang Mi was thinking every time she met with Yan Wei, but for herself, just being within that person’s aura made her feel nervous, an almost-instinctive cringe.
Yan Wei’s presence made her feel intimidated.
Especially when Yan Wei’s gaze was locked on Jiang Mi, it was so glued, not moving for a moment. That was not the look of a lover, but more like… a look at a possession.
It was hers, and no one was allowed to touch it. Even a glance would be warned against… a dangerous gaze.
With Yan Wei present, even if it was just her, as a manager, getting close to Jiang Mi, it was as if a cold aura was snaking up her spine, making her scalp tingle.
But Jiang Mi seemed not to feel it at all.
In Jiang Mi’s heart, Yan Wei was like an angel. No matter what Yan Wei was like, Jiang Mi liked her.
**
The audition scene was an excerpt from the final confession of female lead 1 to female lead 2. Jiang Mi got the temporary script for female lead 1.
The scene was set under the eaves in the rain. Female lead 1 gently moved the umbrella in her hand to cover female lead 2’s head.
“Even if you ask me a hundred times ‘Do you like me?’, I will give you a hundred clear and affirmative answers—yes! Yes, I like you.”
“I’m willing to be good to you, to satisfy all your needs, to bow my head to you time and time again, not because I empathize with your experiences, not because I feel sorry for your past, not because I understand your indifference, but because I like you. Because I like you, no matter what you are like, I like you. Because I like you, even if you reject me, I still like you. But… liking is not selfless, especially when it is not reciprocated.”
Jiang Mi was holding an umbrella. Her shoulders had been deliberately soaked with water. She gently touched the non-existent rain on her cheek, her eyes red, but her gaze was exceptionally firm.
“A person’s heart can be worn down.”
“From the initial desireless admiration, to the faint hope that quietly rose in my heart, and then, the ashes after being extinguished time and time again, the sourness, the resentment… these painful feelings have slowly reshaped me. Have you… not noticed my change?”
“You haven’t noticed, because your eyes are just looking at me, but you’ve never really looked at me.”
“I like you, but I might not like you anymore.”
“So—this is the last time I’ll say I like you. In the future, I won’t say it again. If… and I mean if, you have a little bit of a feeling for me in your heart, and you also like me, then you can say it in the future.”
“I’ll wait for you. But not for too long.”
Jiang Mi handed the umbrella over completely, her affectionate gaze filled with the pain of an impending departure. “The umbrella is for you. I’m leaving.”
Later, when Jiang Mi was actually acting in this drama and reciting these unforgettable lines again, she suddenly understood where the deep empathy that was like a character possession had come from.
Because at that time, she was too much like this person.
Too much, too much like her.
When she was leaving, Zhao Xi directly gave the script in her hand to Jiang Mi.
It was already past three in the morning.
There were less than five hours left before the next announcement.
The empty parking lot was left with only a few lonely car shadows. Jiang Mi and Zhao Jia walked silently towards the nanny van. Behind them, the crisp sound of high heels hitting the ground, unhurriedly, rolled over the silent night, like a shadow.
The moment her fingertips were about to touch the handle of the nanny van, a white car, just a few steps away from them, “clicked” and its unlocking lights lit up.
“Jiang Mi.”
A cool voice pierced through the slightly cool air.
Jiang Mi’s steps were fixed in place.
She closed her eyes. In the few seconds before Yan Wei spoke, her heart was very conflicted. She was both looking forward to Yan Wei’s request for her to stay, and also vaguely hoping that Yan Wei would be even more ruthless and completely crush her pathetic delusions.
This thought suddenly appeared, and even she herself was startled.
She immediately asked herself a question—Do I not like Yan Wei that much anymore? I love Yan Wei so much, how can I have such a thought?
Yan Wei’s footsteps stopped behind her. “Get in my car.”
“Teacher Yan, Mimi doesn’t have time to rest. She has another announcement to run at eight.” Zhao Jia really couldn’t stand it anymore. She was afraid that Jiang Mi would impulsively follow her, and without enough rest, it would be Jiang Mi who would suffer during the day.
Yan Wei’s gaze moved from Jiang Mi’s shadow to Zhao Jia’s face. Just that one glance, and Zhao Jia suddenly felt that this summer had experienced a winter for a moment.
Her back was stiff. “You also have to consider Mimi’s body. She’s been working very hard recently. No matter how energetic she is, she can’t stand this kind of torment.”
Yan Wei’s eyelashes trembled almost imperceptibly. She didn’t respond to Zhao Jia, but walked straight to Jiang Mi, who was a few steps away.
She stopped very close to Jiang Mi, so close that she could feel the slight rise and fall of her breath.
“I’ll take you back.”
Jiang Mi, whose fingers had been tightly clenched, her heart suddenly skipped a beat when she heard the voice behind her, which was different from the harsh tone just now.
Then, she heard the voice behind her soften, “Mimi.”
Jiang Mi sighed silently in her heart.
The sourness and grievance welled up in her eyes like bubbles, and they fluctuated uncontrollably.
She was just pathetic.
Who was she to like?
She was just so crazy about her!
A scorching night wind rushed towards her, hastily passing over Jiang Mi’s wet eyelashes. She turned around. In the dim light, her eyes were surprisingly bright.
Yan Wei met those eyes, and her heart uncontrollably shrank. She had only accidentally learned that Zhao Xi was going to meet another actor the next day. She knew that person. In terms of acting, she was indeed more mature than Jiang Mi, but Jiang Mi’s advantage was her spiritual energy.
So whoever saw Zhao Xi first at this time would have a greater hope of getting the script.
She could have the final say, but she didn’t want Jiang Mi to bear such doubts.
She had imagined that Jiang Mi might still be angry, but when she really saw Jiang Mi being cold to her, that emotion was hard to control.
Just now, she had even thought—
She could let Jiang Mi get this drama with her own strength, or she could use her private power to replace Jiang Mi. She could even have all of Jiang Mi’s existing contracts in her hands.
Threat.
Control.
Manipulation.
These methods.
Too simple.
But for Jiang Mi, she was instinctively unwilling.
She hoped that Jiang Mi would be a little more obedient, not to have a falling out with her, not to be angry with her.
She didn’t want Jiang Mi to have any negative thoughts about her. She knew too well what that would breed.
Just like she hated Jiang Mi getting close to Mo Yun.
One day, that terror would spread to Jiang Mi. Jiang Mi would be afraid, would tremble, would cry and say to her, “I want to leave you”—like everyone who had gotten close to her.
It was also at this time that Jiang Mi looked at Yan Wei with red eyes. Her low and hoarse voice floated to Yan Wei’s eardrum.
“Yan Wei, I don’t want to like you anymore.”
