Chapter 42: Self-Harm

Xu Yinian felt like her brain was short-circuiting under the heat of the moment, yet she still instinctively tried to deny it.

“Huh? N-No…”

Shen Ruoshuang said nothing. She simply straightened her back, suddenly standing a full head taller than Xu Yinian. The burning intensity in her gaze was replaced by her usual cool, aloof demeanor.

Thinking she was finally being let off the hook, Xu Yinian was about to breathe a sigh of relief when she realized the other woman had already moved to her side.

Before she could even think to retreat, a hard object was pressed into her palm, the contact accompanied by the faint chill of Shen Ruoshuang’s fingertips.

Reflexively, Xu Yinian looked down. It was the Voucher Shen Ruoshuang had just won.

While Xu Yinian was dazed, Shen Ruoshuang’s gaze fell upon her flushed fingertips and palms—marks left by her habit of twisting her fingers when nervous.

The corners of Shen Ruoshuang’s lips curved upward almost imperceptibly. She leaned close to the rim of Xu Yinian’s ear and asked in a voice only the two of them could hear:

“Then why are your hands so red?”

Unlike her usual crisp, cold tone, these words were strangely flirtatious. She clearly knew the answer but was deliberately teasing Xu Yinian.

As expected, the soft-hearted girl immediately clenched the Voucher in her hand, trying to hide the marks. However, the telltale crimson spreading across her earlobes was fully exposed to Shen Ruoshuang’s view.

Xu Yinian could feel the other woman’s gaze growing warmer, creating a strange atmosphere unlike anything she had ever felt…

It was as if everything around them had dissolved into a haze, leaving them to sink into the rhythm of their synchronizing breaths.

Even though their movements were subtle and restrained, the students who had gathered to watch Shen Ruoshuang play the Terror Box challenge hadn’t dispersed yet. Their eyes were fixed on the pair.

Even someone as dense as Xu Yinian could sense the ambiguity in the air.

The onlookers were exchanging gossipy looks, already discussing the scene on the school forums.

In the same thread from before, people were providing real-time updates on the trio’s movements.

Xu Yinian’s identity had finally been dug up; everyone now knew she was the fourth member of Room 503 and a roommate to both Shen Ruoshuang and Bai Ran. It made sense that they were so close.

However, unlike the other three high-profile figures frequently discussed on the forum, information about her was quite limited.

Once this news broke, the “shipping” comments died down slightly. After all, roommates often interacted like this.

But the people on-site couldn’t hold back:

[Holy crap, is anyone else here?! I’m seriously starting to ship them! Goddess Shuang is so protective of her roommate!]

[The vibe between them is definitely not just ‘roommates.’ It’s super ambiguous. When has Shen Ruoshuang ever proactively flirted with someone like this?]

[Which zone are you guys in? I want to see this in person!]

[I’m stuck in the lab doing an experiment, I’m literally crying. Don’t make me beg—take pictures! I need a live feed!]

…

The Club Federation President and his companion, who had intended to observe the relationship between Bai Ran and Xu Yinian from a distance, were also stunned. They looked at each other in confusion.

Wasn’t Bai Ran the one suspected of liking Xu Yinian?

Where did this famous top scholar and School Beauty, Shen Ruoshuang, come from?

Substinctively, they turned to look at Bai Ran’s expression.

Standing in the shadows, Bai Ran stared down at her phone screen. A heavy, sinister gloom pooled beneath her eyelashes. Her skin and lips were devoid of color, a sickly, morbid white.

Veins bulged unconsciously on her temples and neck, creating a terrifying contrast with her usual fragile, sickly appearance.

The two men were so frightened by this accidental glimpse of the truth behind Bai Ran’s gentle mask that they didn’t dare speak.

Just then, the President’s phone buzzed with a message.

He opened it to see it was from Bai Ran’s Secretary:

[Miss Bai wants me to ask you if there are any live creatures in the Terror Boxes.]

…

“Niannian.”

A discordant note rang out. Bai Ran looked up, and the morbid, bone-deep possessiveness from a moment ago had vanished without a trace.

Just hearing her name was enough to jolt Xu Yinian back to reality. She realized that Bai Ran and numerous other eyes had been fixed on her for a long time.

Her first reaction was to scramble back several steps, wishing she could instantly escape the center of attention.

Only then did she remember she hadn’t returned the Voucher.

The strange feeling from earlier had left her mind in a mess. She didn’t dare stay close to Shen Ruoshuang any longer and could only mutter with her head down:

“Th… Thank you.”

Shen Ruoshuang frowned, her cold eyes lifting to stare directly at Bai Ran as she stepped out of the shadows.

Bai Ran gave Shen Ruoshuang a soft, gentle smile. Right in front of her, she mirrored Shen Ruoshuang’s previous actions, leaning in to whisper something into Xu Yinian’s ear.

“Sister Ran, are you okay? You shouldn’t… you shouldn’t be subjected to excitement or stress…”

Xu Yinian’s attention was instantly diverted, her face clouding over with that familiar, frantic worry.

Shen Ruoshuang understood the meaning behind that smile now. It was a blatant declaration: Xu Yinian’s concern didn’t belong exclusively to her. As long as Bai Ran wanted it, she could take it away with ease.

Her gaze grew even colder as she stared at the two of them.

What Bai Ran had just said to Xu Yinian was: She knew Niannian didn’t want to owe Shen Ruoshuang a favor, so she would help Niannian by playing the Terror Box game herself.

If she won, they could return the Voucher to the other girl.

To Xu Yinian, this didn’t sound strange. Her relationship with Bai Ran was indeed much closer.

Furthermore, in their daily lives, Bai Ran frequently took the initiative to look after Xu Yinian, pampering her like a younger sister.

However, Xu Yinian remembered that Bai Ran’s Congenital Heart Disease meant she couldn’t handle intense stimulation, and she immediately tried to stop her.

“Niannian, I’m not afraid of these things either.”

Bai Ran smiled tenderly, but the light flickering in her eyes was full of calm reassurance.

Xu Yinian was briefly swayed by the strength in that gaze, only later realizing that Sister Ran was referring to Shen Ruoshuang’s earlier feat.

If she still hadn’t noticed the hidden competition between the two of them, Xu Yinian figured she really was a fool.

To be honest, since Bai Ran moved in, she and Shen Ruoshuang had barely interacted in the dorm.

Shen Ruoshuang had an aloof personality and acted cold toward everyone, plus she left early and returned late.

Xu Yinian hadn’t thought it strange, and she was actually quite happy that Bai Ran made an effort to be close to her.

After all, Shen Ruoshuang and Ji Yan were the “Protagonist-top” and “Protagonist-bottom” of the original novel. Before Bai Ran arrived, Xu Yinian had always felt isolated and helpless.

Now that she had Sister Ran, she felt more confident about resisting and avoiding the plot.

Xu Yinian knew where this rivalry came from.

The tense atmosphere from that morning was still etched into her mind.

She had thought they had truly reconciled back then, but thinking about it now, it seemed they were just giving her face…

Faced with Bai Ran’s mysterious competitive streak, Xu Yinian didn’t know how to persuade her. She could only follow closely behind her as they went to choose a box.

Without any hesitation, Bai Ran chose the Terror Box in the middle.

Perhaps because she was closer, or because Sister Ran was a fragile, sickly beauty, Xu Yinian was even more worried than before. She watched nervously as Bai Ran reached into the opening, her own breath hitching.

Compared to Shen Ruoshuang’s previous challenge, Bai Ran seemed to spend a bit more time rummaging around inside.

Suddenly, a muffled grunt escaped Bai Ran’s throat. She quickly suppressed it, but her face turned visibly pale.

She started to pull her hand back, but then seemed to think of something and stopped. She twisted her hand slightly near the opening for a moment before finally bringing it out into the light.

This abrupt change caused a stir among the surrounding students, who wondered what had happened.

Beside her, Xu Yinian let out a sharp cry: “Sister Ran! You…”

The rest of her words were choked off in her throat.

Even though Bai Ran immediately tried to cup her hand to hide it, Xu Yinian clearly caught a flash of stinging red.

Was… was she hurt?

Frantic with worry, Xu Yinian grabbed Bai Ran’s wrists with both hands, desperate to see what was wrong.

The two were at a deadlock for a moment before Bai Ran finally surrendered. She could never refuse any of Xu Yinian’s requests.

Only then did Xu Yinian see the two small puncture wounds on Bai Ran’s paper-pale fingertips. Bright red blood was steadily seeping out.

Now, it wasn’t just Xu Yinian who was speechless with fear; panicked gasps erupted from the crowd.

The Organizer from the Student Club Federation rushed over when he realized something was wrong.

“It… it’s just a non-venomous pet snake…” a boy stammered in panic, causing an even greater uproar.

There really was a live creature in the Terror Box, and it was a creature as dangerous and terrifying as a snake!

Bai Ran’s eyes narrowed imperceptibly.

She had known exactly what was in there, which was why she had chosen it without hesitation.

And it truly didn’t bite people.

To achieve this effect and gain Xu Yinian’s sympathy, no one saw what happened under the cover of the black cloth. Bai Ran had forced her finger into the snake’s fangs. With a control more twisted than that of any cold-blooded animal, she had forced it to deliver a defensive bite out of pure terror.

From the moment Shen Ruoshuang stepped up to win that Voucher for Xu Yinian, simply winning would have been meaningless—it would have been nothing more than a clumsy imitation.

Bai Ran didn’t care about winning or losing. She only wanted to capture all of Xu Yinian’s senses, to ensure that Xu Yinian’s eyes and mind were filled only with her, and that her emotions fluctuated only because of her.

Gaining sympathy through injury was indeed despicable, but Bai Ran couldn’t wait.

From the moment she saw that spark of ambiguity blooming between Xu Yinian and Shen Ruoshuang, the jealousy and pain in her heart had instantly fueled a myriad of unscrupulous schemes.

She had simply chosen the gentlest one, the one least likely to scare the girl.

This Terror Box would never become a sweet, shared memory between Xu Yinian and Shen Ruoshuang.

From now on, whenever Xu Yinian looked back on today, she would do exactly what she was doing now: completely push Shen Ruoshuang to the back of her mind.

She would only remember the terrifying accident of the live animal in the box, and the stinging sight of the blood shed by the person who got hurt trying to help her.

Niannian, look. I’ll never have to hurt you again just to get your gaze to linger on me for a fleeting moment.

To atone for my sins, I can harm myself. I can become a completely different person to suit your tastes… I can even discard my entire self.

So—

Niannian will be mine, right?

She can only be mine.