Chapter 38: Don’t Cry, Huai Xing.
Zhuo Xin had always been very ceremonial about her birthday. She would invite all her friends to have dinner together on her birthday.
Her family was well-off, so she wasn’t short on money. The restaurant’s private room had also been carefully decorated, and it had a strong festive atmosphere.
The private room could accommodate nearly twenty people. Huai Xing sat next to Tu Zhaoyu and the others. They hadn’t seen each other for a while, and they had all rushed over after work, so they looked very much like they had just gotten off work. They couldn’t help but complain about their work and bizarre leaders.
But Huai Xing was quite satisfied with her own work, so she didn’t participate much, mainly listening and smiling along.
But she couldn’t help but be a little distracted, thinking of the sketch she had received at noon, and the person who had given it to her. Her smile couldn’t help but deepen.
“Huai Xing,” Tu Zhaoyu said, nudging her with her elbow. “Is Sister Wantang coming to pick you up tonight? We miss her again.”
Huai Xing shook her head. “She’s also meeting friends tonight. I’ll go back by myself.”
Han Ying sighed at the side. “Hey, I still want to ask why Sister Wantang can’t be my sister?”
Huai Xing smiled like melting caramel. She tried her best to hold it in, cleared her throat, and the end of her words lifted. “Well, I’m sorry, I’m just lucky.”
Otherwise, how could she have met Chu Wantang?
As for the month that Chu Wantang had made her feel bad, it was completely written off when she received the sketch at noon today.
She couldn’t not forgive such a person who treated her with such care. Besides, Chu Wantang’s performance in the past few days had also been very good.
But… her friends were missing Chu Wantang?
What a coincidence. She missed her too.
Huai Xing raised an eyebrow and unlocked her phone.
There were people on both sides. She sat back a little, then lowered the brightness of her phone and sent a message to Chu Wantang: [They said they miss you very much.]
After a few exchanges with Chu Wantang, Huai Xing turned off her phone with a grin.
At the side, Tu Zhaoyu looked at her with a strange expression. “Who are you chatting with? You’re smiling so brightly.”
“Who else could it be?” She liked the feeling of being accurately guessed by her friends without having to say it out loud.
Tu Zhaoyu really did know. She raised her drink glass. “Sisterly love!” she said. “I also wish us a deep sisterly love, okay!”
After the people on their side had had some drinks, the door to the private room opened, and Zhuo Xin and her husband, Huan Yuan, walked in.
Zhuo Xin smiled. “Sorry, friends. I’m late.”
“If you’re late, don’t you have to drink three glasses as a penalty?” someone immediately responded, and the others also agreed.
Huan Yuan pulled out a chair and helped Zhuo Xin to sit down. Regarding this proposal, he cleared his throat. “I can drink. She can’t.”
“Why?”
Zhuo Xin took out an ultrasound image from her bag and waved it. “This is the reason. How about it? Can I not drink?”
Everyone: “?”
Everyone: “Ahhh! You’re pregnant!”
Huai Xing was also very shocked, and then she followed up with congratulations, her eyes curving into a smile.
Because of this happy event, the dining atmosphere was even better. From time to-to-time, someone would come to Zhuo Xin’s side to ask about it.
Huai Xing went over with her gift and knelt down beside Zhuo Xin.
Looking at her friend’s still-flat stomach, she was a little puzzled. “How many months?”
“Three months,” Zhuo Xin said, holding up three fingers. “I wanted to tell you guys as soon as I found out, but the elders in my family said I had to wait until after three months when it’s more stable to tell people. I’ve been holding it in until now. Xingxing, you’ll be one of my baby’s godmothers in the future!”
Huai Xing nodded. “If she wants to learn the violin in the future, she can come to me.”
She stood up, ruffled her friend’s hair, and said very gently, “Happy birthday. It’s been hard on you, Xinxin.”
Being a mother was never an easy thing.
Zhuo Xin knew that her mother had passed away long ago. Hearing this, she took her wrist and rubbed her cheek against her palm. “It’s worth it, no matter how hard it is.”
She then looked up and said very sincerely, “You have to hurry up too, find your own happiness, and that person who is worth it.”
“I’m very happy now.” And I’ve already found that person who is worth it.
Even if her feelings for Chu Wantang couldn’t see the light of day, even if the fact that she had another layer of relationship with Chu Wantang in secret couldn’t be known by everyone, she was happy.
After chatting with Zhuo Xin for a short while, Huai Xing returned to her seat.
Tu Zhaoyu at the side was clearly still not over it. “Oh my god… I feel like I’m still a child, and my friend is about to have a child…”
“I hope it’s a girl,” Lu Ling said, clasping her hands together and starting to make a wish. “I like girls, preferably a pretty and cute little girl like Xinxin. Huan Yuan’s eyes are a little small. I hope she doesn’t inherit them.”
Just as they were saying this, they saw Zhuo Xin cover her mouth, her face not looking very good. Huan Yuan at the side immediately became nervous and found a trash can.
Then Zhuo Xin held the trash can and vomited uncontrollably.
Someone’s brows furrowed, and they went over to ask with concern, “What’s wrong?”
“My stomach hurts…” Zhuo Xin’s stomach was already weak, and now that she was pregnant, it was even more fragile.
Huan Yuan immediately apologized and said goodbye to everyone, wishing them a good meal, and then carried Zhuo Xin out of the private room and to a nearby hospital.
Leaving behind a group of worried friends.
Huai Xing sat in her seat. She had no appetite now, and the atmosphere in the private room was a little tense.
It wasn’t until half an hour later, when Huan Yuan sent a video call to tell everyone that it was nothing, that they breathed a sigh of relief and raised their glasses again to celebrate the birthday of Zhuo Xin on the other end of the phone.
But this way, without the birthday girl, everyone was in no mood to continue with the subsequent activities.
After a long day of work, going home early to rest was also a good choice.
Huai Xing had originally thought so too, but this restaurant was located in a well-known business district in Jingcheng. After coming out with a few friends, she looked at the logos of some luxury shops in front of her, and the salary she had just received a while ago was itching to be spent again.
The night breeze was gentle. Huai Xing said goodbye to her friends who were taking the subway and turned to walk towards the luxury shops.
Although the dress was still just a sketch, she would receive it and wear it on July 17th, so she didn’t want to not show any material appreciation.
Thinking of Chu Wantang, her shadow was much lighter, and every step she took was like stepping on a fluffy cloud.
Her joyful mood turned into the slightly swaying leaves on the side of the street, creating ripples in the air.
Choosing a gift was a difficult thing. She had given Chu Wantang high heels and a speaker the last two times, and this time she was struggling again.
The sales assistant at the luxury counter she entered was very discerning. She didn’t neglect her because she looked young, and asked in a very friendly manner, “Hello, what kind of product would you like to see? I can give you a detailed introduction.”
“A bag.” Although Chu Wantang had many bags, she hadn’t given her one yet, so it didn’t count.
As for the jewelry and clothes she hadn’t given her, she would slowly give them to her in the future.
She wanted to leave her own mark in Chu Wantang’s life. Every category of gift had to have her presence.
“May I ask if it’s for…?”
Huai Xing’s fingertips scratched the back of her phone again before she managed to squeeze out four words from her throat with some difficulty. “My girlfriend.”
Can I say such things to a stranger, Chu Wantang?
She asked silently in her heart.
“I want to prepare a surprise for her,” she said, afraid that her words were not strong enough, and quickly added.
The sales assistant’s eyes lit up, and she said nice things, “Then you and your girlfriend must have a very good relationship. I wish you a hundred years of happiness, and a long and lasting relationship.”
She then started to introduce, “Then take a look at this bag…”
It didn’t take long for Huai Xing to pay the bill and leave the shop with a bag.
Her mind was already imagining Chu Wantang’s reaction when she received this bag. Maybe she would ask her again if she had bought it with her salary. After she gave a definite answer, she would probably smile at her and say, “Thank you, Xingxing.”
Chu Wantang would not be disappointed with anything she gave her.
She would wear the high heels, listen to the speaker, and even replace the inexpensive spring letter with fresh begonias during their cold war…
Stepping on her joyful shadow, Huai Xing returned home.
She hadn’t told Chu Wantang that she had finished early tonight, lest Chu Wantang had to think about her at home while she was out with her friends. Besides, she also wanted to prepare a surprise.
But how should she give this bag? Should she put it somewhere first and wait for Chu Wantang to find it and ask her what was going on? Would that be more effective?
Huai Xing put on her slippers and came to the living room, first putting the bag by the floor lamp.
No, that’s too obvious. It should be more subtle.
She then came to the dining room and placed it on the dining table.
No, the dining table’s arrangement is not romantic enough.
After struggling for a long while, she turned off the lights in the living room, returned to her room, and placed the bag on her bedside table.
After looking at it for a few seconds, she snapped her fingers: she could lure Chu Wantang over tonight and then let her discover that there was an extra bag here.
Although they were not a couple, they could still be romantic.
Just as that thought arose, she heard the sound of the door opening from outside.
It was still early. Had Chu Wantang also finished early? Just as she was wondering and about to open the door to greet her, she also heard the voices of Su Cheng and Wan Yi.
She quietly turned off the light, her heart in her throat—
Because she heard Su Cheng mention the sketch, and also said that Chu Wantang had been working overtime at her place to design it, which gave her a deeper understanding of the effort Chu Wantang had put into this matter.
She was being selfish. She wanted to hear more.
“A birthday gift for Xingxing,” Su Cheng’s words made Huai Xing’s eyes curve.
“It’s really surprising that our Director Chu’s design would one day be used for love,” Wan Yi’s words made Huai Xing’s smile even deeper.
So Su Cheng and Wan Yi, Chu Wantang’s friends of many years, knew about their relationship, right? Then had Chu Wantang told her friends about her unspeakable feelings? She knew it. Her feeling was not wrong. Chu Wantang liked her, but for some reason, she couldn’t say it.
Otherwise, why would her friends use such a precise word as “love”?
But before she could savor it, Chu Wantang’s cold voice sounded from behind the door. “It’s not love.”
Huai Xing’s heart skipped a beat. All her lucky guesses just now turned into bubbles. She lowered her eyes, only feeling that it was a little difficult to breathe. But she also knew that what Chu Wantang had said was not wrong. They were not in a relationship.
They were not open lovers, nor were they purely sisters.
The “my girlfriend” she had said to the sales assistant could not be said in front of Chu Wantang, otherwise, she would be crossing their boundaries.
And at this moment, she heard Chu Wantang say again—
“I wanted to raise her by my side, to make her rely on me and trust me, and then, when I’m the most important person in her world, I’ll abandon her.”
“Little sister? More like a little pet, comes when called, goes when shooed.”
“I’ve also spent hundreds of thousands on her these past few years and provided so much emotional value. All in all, I’m very kind, and she’s not losing out.”
“We’re just bed partners with mutual consent.”
“I’ve already said, she likes me, and I can also give her physical feedback. Isn’t that enough?”
…
Before long, the living room fell silent. Huai Xing’s breathing also became weaker and weaker under Chu Wantang’s words.
She didn’t dare to stay by the door anymore and really wanted to take a few steps back, but she had no strength to lift her legs, and even her fingers were trembling constantly.
She tried to lift her hand and touched her face with her fingers.
Her hand was cold, and her face was also cold. But wasn’t the sun out today? Even when she came out of the restaurant at night, she still felt the lingering warmth in the air.
She tried to blink, but her eyes felt dry, as if they had been blown by the wind for a long time.
But the window in the room was tightly closed. Where was the wind?
Where was the wind…
Her mind was in a mess. Looking back, she found a clue.
Was it the wind from that day in front of her mother’s grave in February six years ago? Mixed with the downpour, it had blown until today, drenching her.
It’s so cold, Mom.
Should I not have agreed to her that day…
The various experiences of the past six years replayed in her mind.
She remembered Chu Wantang holding an umbrella and bending down in front of the grave to ask her if she wanted to be her family. She remembered Chu Wantang traveling a thousand miles from Jingcheng to attend her parent-teacher conference. She remembered telling Chu Wantang about her pressure before the college entrance examination, and Chu Wantang gently helping her to relieve those emotions.
She remembered that after coming to Jingcheng, they were a little distant at first. It was Chu Wantang who had led her to familiarize herself with this home, with this place, and had introduced her to Su Cheng as her little sister.
She remembered Chu Wantang’s “color, aroma, and taste all abstain,” remembered Chu Wantang hugging her because she thought she was afraid of thunder, remembered the gifts Chu Wantang brought back for her every time she went on a business trip, remembered Chu Wantang strictly forbidding her from touching cold things after learning about her cramps, while rubbing her stomach.
She remembered their kisses, remembered them having sex, remembered that night at Yuelan Wu, Chu Wantang expressing her jealousy towards Wen Shiwei, remembered last night Chu Wantang promising her that there would be no more cold wars, remembered this afternoon Chu Wantang saying that she hoped she could look forward to July 17th from this moment on.
So many memories. She remembered them all.
She had once thought that these memories were very precious and wished that she could record them forever. But sometimes she felt that this idea was superfluous, because she and Chu Wantang were the closest people in the world, and they would never be separated in this lifetime.
But it turned out that in Chu Wantang’s eyes, all that they had experienced together was very cheap.
And she was just a little pet that Chu Wantang could abandon at any time, coming when called and going when shooed.
She was like a butterfly caught in a tornado, and also like a paper boat drifting in a turbulent current.
In the end, she couldn’t control her wings, and the paper boat would also capsize.
Huai Xing’s face was expressionless. Her nasal cavity felt as if it were filled with sand, and she couldn’t breathe at all.
She forced her lips open and took in a little bit of thin air.
Finally, she seemed to have regained some strength.
She had lived in this guest room for four and a half years. She was familiar with every corner of it. Her round fingernails dug into her palm, and she slowly and lightly tiptoed.
After a long ten seconds, she came to the closet, hid herself inside, and sat down with her legs curled up.
Don’t cry, Huai Xing.
In the years you’ve liked her, you’ve already shed enough tears for her.
But her body couldn’t stop trembling, and the coldness continued.
It was clearly a bright spring, but she felt as if she were in the cold winter of Jingcheng.
The snowstorm had arrived.
Only she was a wanderer, in rags.
It was so dark in the closet that she couldn’t see anything. She just kept her eyes open, rested her chin on her knees, and then hugged her legs in a very self-protective posture.
The darkness drowned her like flowing water. It was so quiet here that she could only hear her own weak breathing.
After a long while, she turned her head slightly, pressed her face against her knees, and closed her long lashes.
…
In less than twenty minutes, Chu Wantang came out of the bathroom in a new outfit.
Having just taken a shower, the skin on her face looked even better, fair with a hint of red. And after talking things through with her friends, she was in an even better mood, a dimple on her lips.
“Let’s go. It’s a good thing the red oil didn’t get on my hair.” As she spoke, she felt a little hot. She casually took a hairpin from the living room and tied up her hair.
Wan Yi and Su Cheng had already recovered from their shock. They looked at her, wanting to say something but unable to.
They had been friends with Chu Wantang for many years and knew how stubborn she was.
Chu Wantang looked at them and couldn’t help but laugh. “Don’t worry about me. I’m in a very good state of mind.” She said, “If someone can be a hypocrite for a lifetime, then they are truly good. My situation is the same.”
As she spoke, she walked out.
When she passed the guest room door, Chu Wantang’s gaze fell on the doorknob, and her footsteps paused.
“What’s wrong?” Su Cheng asked as she passed her.
Chu Wantang shook her head, a few strands of hair that hadn’t been clipped properly swaying gently.
“It’s nothing,” she said.
Huai Xing will never know, she thought.
