Chapter 49: I Want to See Her, Just Once. p2
In the room, Chu Wantang’s long lashes were lowered, and she stared at the wound on her hand in a daze.
Since she was a child, she had never been so seriously injured. Her mind couldn’t help but think that if Huai Xing were still by her side, she would definitely be applying medicine for her with teary eyes, as if she were the one who was injured.
She closed her eyes. The scorching breath from her fever was not so even, and even breathing was extremely difficult.
When her friends pushed open the door with the medicine, she had returned to a calm expression.
The following days seemed very calm.
The high fever came and went quickly, and the wound on her hand was also in the healing stage. She had returned to “Lan Ling” early and started work mode. In the eyes of the people at the company, she was still the formidable director of the design department. Her illness had not affected her in the slightest. In fact, she was even more hardworking than before her business trip, and she had not missed a single design or social engagement.
As for why Gu Rufeng and Fei Shutao had not told her about such an important matter as Huai Xing’s resignation, she had no intention of asking.
Because she could more or less guess that Huai Xing only looked naive, but was actually smart, delicate, and sensitive. Since Huai Xing could know that Tu Zhaoyu was her spy, she could definitely guess that Gu Rufeng and Fei Shutao were too.
It was she who had firmly believed that Huai Xing could not leave, which had made her deliberately slow.
But none of it mattered anymore.
She put all her energy into her work, going to work early and coming back late. She was in no mood to ask Auntie Chen to come and cook, lest Auntie Chen would ask where Miss Huai had gone, and she would not be able to answer.
She lived soberly like this for a week, and it was Saturday again.
The scab on her palm had started to form, and it was so itchy that she couldn’t sleep at night, and she couldn’t pick at it.
After a tasteless lunch, she frowned and came to the refrigerator, wanting to take out a bottle of yogurt, but she wasn’t sure if there was any left.
But she saw the cherry tomatoes in the refrigerator at a glance.
-“Are you done eating?”
-“I still have a few cherry tomatoes to eat.”
-“Is it very sour?”
-“Super.”
-“Then leave a few for me in the fridge. I’ll see how sour it is when I come back the day after tomorrow.”
The conversation they had had during their video call popped into her mind at an inopportune time. Chu Wantang looked at the quiet cherry tomatoes in a daze.
Perhaps Huai Xing had thought it was too sour. There were still quite a few left in the refrigerator. They hadn’t gone bad, but they were a little withered after being left for nearly ten days.
Chu Wantang blinked, raised her hand, and wanted to take the yogurt next to it.
But as soon as she touched the cold air, her hand was out of control. She still took out the small half-box of cherry tomatoes and turned to go into the kitchen.
After washing the cherry tomatoes, she took out the camera that she had taken down before and hadn’t put back up from the bedroom, placed it next to the floor lamp in the living room, and pointed the lens at herself.
Only then did she sit down on the single sofa like the night she had been drinking red wine alone at home and popped a cherry tomato into her mouth.
This one isn’t sour, Huai Xing.
She swallowed and then picked up another one and put it in her mouth.
This one isn’t sour either, Huai Xing.
The cherry tomatoes disappeared one by one, but tears appeared one by one.
Her eyes were blurry. She took out her phone and opened the pinned WeChat chat.
She couldn’t see the input method clearly. She quickly wiped away her tears. When she felt that she could type clearly, she tapped the screen: [The cherry tomatoes I tasted are not sour.]
No one replied.
The green bubble was reflected in her pupils, illuminating her sparkling tears.
She took a deep breath and continued to type: [If you come back this month, the past will be written off.]
Still no one replied.
Chu Wantang locked the screen and continued to stuff cherry tomatoes into her mouth, no longer one by one, but stuffing them into her mouth without a care until her cheeks were bulging. The juice of the cherry tomatoes dripped down, and along with the constantly flowing tears, it smashed onto her pajamas. In front of the camera, she looked completely disheveled.
She struggled to swallow the cherry tomatoes, but she had no strength to chew.
Before long, she knelt on the ground, holding the trash can and vomiting. A piece of the scab on her palm that had not yet healed was scraped off, and blood seeped out again.
When she was almost done vomiting, she looked at the camera and asked softly, “Are you satisfied, seeing me like this?”
If you’re satisfied, can you come back?
The only response she got was the silence of the room, which was also Huai Xing’s answer.
Chu Wantang did not ask again. She quietly went into the bathroom to deal with her mess. When she came out again, she was as bright as the moon and as clear as the wind, as if nothing had happened just now.
In the blink of an eye, a new week began.
The mid-year shopping festival had been over for a few days, and everyone in the company breathed a sigh of relief. In addition, the Dragon Boat Festival was coming up, and the employees were all looking forward to it.
The day before the holiday, Chu Wantang had been working very late recently, and she was accompanied by coffee during the day.
But the coffee beans in the pantry on her floor had just run out. This was the reason she had used to see Huai Xing before, and now it had actually come true. She was silent for a moment, but she still did not compromise with instant coffee and went downstairs for the first time in these days.
Amidst the calls of “Director Chu,” she came to the pantry downstairs.
The weather had been good these past few days. Coincidentally, Gu Rufeng was making coffee. Seeing her appear, she asked, “Director Chu, do you need my help?”
“Thanks, I can do it myself,” Chu Wantang said with a radiant smile, looking no different from usual.
Gu Rufeng did not insist and sat down in her seat.
She stirred the coffee in her cup, looked around, and saw that there were not many people at this hour. She thought for a moment and still asked Chu Wantang’s back, “Director Chu, I want to ask, is Xiao Huai okay? I’ve been sending her messages recently, but she hasn’t replied. Is she having too much fun?”
Chu Wantang stared at the coffee machine in front of her, did not turn around, and did not answer.
Instead, she asked, “What reason did she give you when she resigned?”
“She said it was too hot and she didn’t want to go out in the sun.”
Chu Wantang turned her head, looked at the sunlight outside, and nodded in reply. “She’s fine. She’s out having fun.” She timely retracted her gaze. “I still have work to do. I’ll go upstairs first.”
Back in her office, she drank her coffee unhurriedly.
The bitter taste in her mouth did not make her frown. She stared at the mint green dress sketch on the computer screen in a daze. After a long while, she came back to her senses and clicked the “x” button on the software.
Soon, the Dragon Boat Festival arrived.
Most parts of the country were very lively. Popular tourist areas were crowded, and there were countless tourists in Jingcheng.
Chu Wantang had no plans to go out. When her friends contacted her, she also refused to see them. She just stayed at home.
After that night she had returned to Jingcheng, she had never opened the guest room door again, nor had she opened the window again. She had also drawn the curtains, hiding herself in the dimness. Without Huai Xing to “accompany” her with wine, she had no plans to drink. She just locked herself in the study and made appointments with some foreign fashion designers to communicate.
Days passed, and her state still seemed to be fine.
Until the night of June 28th, Huai Xing had been gone for a full fifteen days. When she opened WeChat again, the pinned profile picture had become the gray initial profile picture, and even the note she had given Huai Xing had become the cold “deleted WeChat user.”
All her nerves were unconsciously tensed at this moment, and even the action of swallowing saliva was extremely difficult.
She tried to send a message to Huai Xing that would not be replied to, and this time, a red exclamation mark appeared next to the green bubble, and a system prompt below said “the other party cannot receive the message.”
She stared at the words, and tears quickly welled up in her eyes.
After taking several deep breaths, she tried to calm herself down. After thinking for a long while, she first asked CEO Mei for leave, and then opened the flight ticket app.
After the Dragon Boat Festival, Wen Ruyu had some free time.
When she was free, she would think of Huai Zhao in the cemetery, so she took advantage of the infinitely good morning light and came to the cemetery with a bouquet of white chrysanthemums.
To her surprise, Chu Wantang was standing in front of Huai Zhao’s grave.
She didn’t know how long Chu Wantang had been standing there, but she had no intention of taking the initiative to talk to her. She silently bent down and placed the flowers together with the ones Chu Wantang had sent.
The gentle breeze blew, and Chu Wantang’s hair swayed.
She turned her head to look at Wen Ruyu and said in a hoarse voice, “Auntie Wen.”
“Miss Chu,” Wen Ruyu nodded and sat down, cleaning the tombstone for her old friend with an elegant posture.
“Do you know where Huai Xing is?” Chu Wantang said, the name feeling so distant. “I want to see her, just once.”
Wen Ruyu looked up at the young woman in front of her and answered very calmly, “I know, but I’m not going to tell you.”
“Then how can you tell me?” She didn’t want to just let it go. She could explain.
“Shiwei told me that you watched Xiao Huai grow up from the age of one. Then why did you treat her like that?”
Facing the morning breeze, Chu Wantang struggled for a moment and then parted her lips again. “When I was seven, I followed my mother, Chu Lingyi, to Yuncheng and met Auntie Huai and Huai Xing.” She recalled in detail, “After my mother knew Huai Xing’s name and birthday, she already didn’t like my birth, and after that, she paid even less attention to me.”
“She would prepare a gift for Huai Xing every year that she would never send. Those gifts are still in her house to this day. And I, her biological daughter, had to piggyback on July 17th to hear a ‘happy birthday.’ But my feelings for her are very complicated. She gave birth to me and raised me, but she didn’t love me. But she would also teach me to read and write.”
“Xu Zhixun said that they used to be very good friends and both liked him, but later they parted ways because of him… It seems that my mother was the winner, but why did she live so painfully? So painfully that I wanted to hate her, but I didn’t know how.”
“On August 19th, 2013, Chu Lingyi called Auntie Huai. After that call, she passed away. I watched her die in front of me, Auntie Wen. If she hadn’t made that call to Auntie Huai at that time, she could have lived for a few more years. Not only that, but less than half a year after my mother’s death, Auntie Huai was eager to remarry Xu Zhixun…”
“So you put all the blame on Xiao Huai?”
“No, I didn’t.”
Chu Wantang tried her best to deny this. “I just wanted her to live as hard as I did.”
“Miss Chu, you’re so smart. I don’t believe you didn’t find the loopholes in Xu Zhixun’s words.”
Wen Ruyu looked at her friend’s photo on the tombstone and let out a deep breath. “I don’t want to say bad things about Chu Lingyi in front of Ah Zhao’s grave, because she wouldn’t let me. But back then, they were not very good friends, but very much in love. It was your mother who betrayed Ah Zhao, married Xu Zhixun, and gave birth to you.”
“The car accident was not an accident either.”
Hearing the guessed answer, Chu Wantang’s tears welled up.
“Also,” Wen Ruyu looked at the blue sky and white clouds. “Xiao Huai is the child of Ah Zhao’s late brother and sister-in-law. Her name means ‘the luck of the Huai family.’ But meeting you, I don’t know if it’s her luck or misfortune.”
Chu Wantang was stunned on the spot. The next moment, she bent her knees and knelt down in front of Huai Zhao’s grave for the first time in these years.
She lowered her head deeply, her hands on her thighs, and her tears dripped onto the ground one by one.
The morning breeze was gentle and boundless. In a daze, she remembered the day she had brought Huai Xing to the cemetery in February.
That day, Huai Xing had been in tears because of her suspicion. Her tears had soaked her shoulder, making her feel her skin burn.
“Auntie Wen, I beg you to tell me…” she choked.
“Where is she?”
