After that, Pei Ruyu had no mood for anything else.
When she got home, she silently locked herself in her room, cutting off all outside interference.
She didn’t cry. She didn’t throw a tantrum. She just curled up on the balcony lounge chair, staring blankly out the window.
From daylight to darkness.
After a long period of calming down, Pei Ruyu finally accepted the cruel truth.
So those sleepless nights of despair, the heart pain, the nightmares that gripped her, the physical and mental exhaustion, and the recent unstable emotions—it was all because she was sick.
But…
What if she couldn’t get better?
What if her condition worsened?
Would she become a burden or a danger to the people around her?
And what if, controlled by her illness, she became someone unrecognizable and hateful?
Would that make her even more despised?
What would Miao Qingzhi think…
Would that cheerful, optimistic sweet girl still like someone who couldn’t even control her own emotions?
Pei Ruyu ran through countless possibilities in her mind, but the more she imagined, the more miserable she felt.
Under the shadow of loneliness, emptiness, and unease.
That oppression pressed down on Pei Ruyu until she could barely breathe.
The night was deep. The sound of the TV in the living room had stopped long ago. Only then did Pei Ruyu dare to leave her room, quietly mixing herself two cocktails.
High-proof Absolute Sunset. She downed two full glasses in her room. Under the stimulation of alcohol, Pei Ruyu finally felt a bit of relief.
When she turned on her phone, the first thing that popped up was a video call from Miao Qingzhi.
After only a moment’s hesitation, Pei Ruyu pressed accept.
On the screen, Miao Qingzhi was lying on her bed in a nightgown. Seeing her brightly lit background, Pei Ruyu forced a smile.
“Why aren’t you asleep yet?”
Pei Ruyu checked the time. It was past midnight.
“I was just studying.”
Miao Qingzhi quietly turned off the teaching video her senior sister had prepared for her on the tablet behind her phone, then continued speaking to Pei Ruyu.
“I thought Sister was angry with me, which was why you weren’t responding. How could I sleep?”
Only then did Pei Ruyu notice the messages Miao Qingzhi had sent earlier asking if she wanted to get late-night snacks, as well as several unanswered voice calls.
Her phone had been off during that time because she didn’t want any outside interference.
Plus, there had been that little unpleasantness in the morning over Jiang Ying’s snake. No wonder Miao Qingzhi thought that…
“Sorry, I was busy earlier and didn’t see them.”
Pei Ruyu admitted her fault. Seeing Miao Qingzhi’s slightly aggrieved expression, she asked helplessly, “Also, is my temper really that bad? Getting angry at you over nothing?”
Miao Qingzhi finally broke into a smile.
“Yeah, you get angry so easily.”
Seeing Pei Ruyu’s expression stiffen on the screen, she added with a laugh, “Easy to anger, easy to soothe. Sister is basically the god of soft hearts.”
If it were any other time, being coaxed like this by Miao Qingzhi would have made Pei Ruyu’s heart bloom.
But right now, her mind was filled with that assessment of her being “moody.”
After a brief silence, seeing Pei Ruyu’s expression wasn’t right, Miao Qingzhi dropped her smile and asked seriously.
“Sister, you look really unhappy. What’s wrong?”
“If… I mean if…”
Pei Ruyu paused, testing the waters. “If I became even more moody in the future, would you find it annoying?”
Miao Qingzhi answered with a question. “Did something happen?”
Pei Ruyu’s fragile courage deflated instantly. She looked down, dejected.
“Nothing. It’s late. I’m going to sleep. You should rest early too. Don’t stay up studying—it’s bad for your eyes.”
Without waiting for Miao Qingzhi’s reaction, she hung up the video call.
She soaked in the bathtub, then poured herself another drink as a sleeping aid, and finally lay down in bed.
But it was that familiar, unbearable sleeplessness again.
Lately, she’d been falling asleep in Miao Qingzhi’s arms every night, breathing in her scent. She didn’t even need sleeping pills.
She hadn’t expected that without her soft, fragrant girlfriend in her arms, even falling asleep would become a luxury.
Pei Ruyu tried to recall the feeling of holding Miao Qingzhi, using that familiar sensation to lull herself to sleep.
But not only did it not work, it made her miss Miao Qingzhi even more.
Sigh. Why had she hung up on her so abruptly?
Would she be upset?
Two in the morning. Restless and miserable.
Still unable to sleep, Pei Ruyu could only pull out her phone and open Miao Qingzhi’s chat window.
She typed out an apology word by word, then deleted it word by word.
Forget it. Her sister was probably asleep by now. She shouldn’t disturb her.
But just as she locked her screen, Miao Qingzhi’s voice call popped up.
“Sister.”
Hearing that soft, sweet call after answering, Pei Ruyu felt something in her heart suddenly settle.
She didn’t need anything else. Just knowing Miao Qingzhi was there was enough to ease her.
“You kept typing and deleting without sending anything. What does that mean?”
She hadn’t expected Miao Qingzhi to still be watching her chat window at this hour.
Hearing the teasing laugh, Pei Ruyu felt mortified.
She buried her face in her pillow, mumbling quietly.
“Nothing… I just… missed you a little…”
Another crisp laugh came through the line. “Miss me how?”
Pei Ruyu blurted out without thinking, “I want to sleep with you.”
There was a brief silence on the other end, followed by an ambiguous question. “We did it so many times last night. Still not enough?”
“No, that’s not what I meant.”
Pei Ruyu’s face flushed. She quickly explained, “I mean, I want to fall asleep with you on the phone. Together.”
At her age, proposing such a childish idea as a late-night phone call like a shy student—the more she thought about it, the more embarrassed she felt.
“Is that all you want?” Miao Qingzhi’s voice on the other end continued its gentle coaxing. “Want me to lull you to sleep, Sister?”
The sound made Pei Ruyu’s whole body tingle with pleasure.
She couldn’t help the smile tugging at her lips.
“If you’re willing… I suppose that wouldn’t be so bad…”
Miao Qingzhi’s voice grew even softer.
“Then say: Master, please love me. And I’ll lull you to sleep, okay?”
Pei Ruyu: ???
“Miao Qingzhi! No playing such perverted games!”
Realizing the deeper implication, Pei Ruyu angrily hung up.
But after lying there for a while, she still tossed and turned, unable to sleep.
Looking at the chat window that had gone silent, Pei Ruyu wrestled with herself for a long time before awkwardly sending a message.
[Master, please love me…]
The explicit words made her more and more embarrassed the more she looked at them. She long-pressed the recall button, about to delete it, when a reply came through—a voice message.
Pei Ruyu quickly tapped it open.
“Sister~ I want to hear you say it out loud.”
The voice was full of laughter. The more Pei Ruyu listened, the more annoyed she became. She gritted her teeth and sent a voice message of her own, shouting.
“Miao Qingzhi! That’s enough!”
The flustered, angry voice only made the other side laugh harder.
“Alright, Sister, don’t be mad. Open the door.”
Pei Ruyu froze.
She played the voice message twice more before the meaning suddenly hit her.
Joy flooded her heart, washing away the last traces of annoyance. Barefoot, not even bothering with slippers, Pei Ruyu sprinted toward the front door.
Standing outside the security door, the person was smiling at the camera, hands clasped behind her back.
White shirt. Black tie. Pleated skirt. White thigh-high socks.
The picture of a proper, demure, innocent female college student.
It was her girlfriend, the one she’d been thinking about.
Pei Ruyu was ecstatic. But the moment she opened the door, she still suppressed her excitement and feigned surprise.
“Why are you here?”
Miao Qingzhi stepped forward, stopping right in front of Pei Ruyu, beaming.
“I just felt like you might need me right now. So I came.”
Pei Ruyu’s heart raced.
On the loneliest, most desolate night, when she was alone with her spiraling thoughts and most afraid, someone appeared before her, telling her she’d come specifically for her.
From Jiang Ying’s villa in the suburbs to Pei Ruyu’s apartment in the city center was at least an hour’s drive.
So after hanging up the first video call, Miao Qingzhi hadn’t been upset and ignoring her—she’d been rushing over here?
Pei Ruyu’s eyes grew hot. She surged forward and wrapped her arms tightly around Miao Qingzhi.
“Why didn’t you tell me? What if something happened to you out alone at night?”
“I wanted to surprise you, Sister.”
Miao Qingzhi wrapped her arms around Pei Ruyu’s neck, whispering by her ear with a smile. “What, Sister doesn’t welcome me in?”
Only then did Pei Ruyu realize they were still standing at the door.
In her excitement, Pei Ruyu hooked her arms under Miao Qingzhi’s legs and lifted her up.
After closing the door, she couldn’t even wait to get to the bedroom. She sat Miao Qingzhi down on the entryway console and kissed her directly on the lips.
The motion-sensor light in the hallway flickered on and off.
Suppressed gasps of breath kept triggering the light to come back on.
In the dim light, it was still easy to see the hazy look in Miao Qingzhi’s eyes.
Those eyes were misted with a faint layer of moisture, making Pei Ruyu’s heart race even faster.
When her burning kisses landed on her slender neck, Miao Qingzhi pressed even closer.
The unbearable soft moans at her ear seemed to carry a hint of excitement.
“Sister… what if Auntie and your cousin suddenly come out?”
Only then did Pei Ruyu realize how inappropriate her impulsive choice of location was.
She bit down on Miao Qingzhi’s neck, retaliating against this woman’s habit of teasing her with twisted games.
“Then they can see exactly what you’re like in private. That way, they’ll stop thinking I’m the one bullying you.”
“Mm, no.”
Miao Qingzhi’s eyes shimmered. She shook her head in protest, but her palm pressed against Pei Ruyu’s shoulder with the lightest possible force.
That playing-hard-to-get look only excited Pei Ruyu more.
Unable to bear tormenting her further, Pei Ruyu quickly scooped her up and headed for the bedroom.
The hands pressed against her shoulders finally wrapped around her neck on their own.
Pei Ruyu kissed her again, carrying her into the room while kissing her.
When she pressed Miao Qingzhi against the back of the door, both of them were breathless.
At this moment, Miao Qingzhi’s clothes no longer looked as neat and proper as when she’d first walked in.
The loosened tie.
The open collar of her shirt.
The mischievous hand beneath her pleated skirt.
And the pale, trembling legs hooked around Pei Ruyu’s waist.
All of it displayed the seductive charm of this seemingly innocent girl.
Just as Pei Ruyu was about to reach further, Miao Qingzhi let out a soft, protesting whimper.
“No hands.”
After a brief pause, Pei Ruyu remembered the request from last night.
Until the bite marks on her hands healed, she wasn’t allowed to use them.
Pei Ruyu withdrew her hand in grievance, carried Miao Qingzhi to the bed and set her down gently, then held out her left hand for inspection.
“Look, they’re almost healed. Doesn’t that count?”
Under the light, Miao Qingzhi could see the nearly healed bite marks on Pei Ruyu’s hand.
And the sandalwood bracelet wrapped several times around her left wrist.
Miao Qingzhi’s gaze darkened.
