Chapter 23: MAMA-23 Part 2

The woman reached out and pressed down on the mattress. “Too hard. Is it comfortable to sleep on?”

Mi Shanxin turned to the side to look at her. “I’m used to it.”

Jian Wanji: “I’ll sit here. Your bed’s too narrow. It’s like…” She measured with her hand. “Even narrower than the ones at school. You might as well live at school; at least you’d have hot water for showers.”

Mi Shanxin shook her head. “Even harder to sleep there.”

The room’s lighting was very dim. It was only a bit brighter with the plastic desk lamp on. Jian Wanji didn’t know how she practiced calligraphy without becoming nearsighted—guess her genes were decent there.

While Mi Shanxin had been showering, Jian Wanji had looked at the things in this room. Not a single photo. Like Jian Wanji, the girl raised by her grandparents had no need to take pictures.

Maybe others weren’t like this, but Jian Wanji could somewhat understand Mi Shanxin’s situation. She had nowhere else to go, had to rely on her grandparents. Her still-living parents might as well be dead.

This home must once have had another bed where the grandparents slept. Now that they were gone, it had been disposed of.

Mi Shanxin lived here like a tomb keeper.

Before Wan Qingqing lost her clarity, she had been someone who pursued quality of life. At the very least, she hadn’t skimped on living supplies for Jian Wanji. Bedding sets were changed, the mattress was soft, the desk was rounded, the window glass was a begonia pattern.

She held herself to the aesthetic standards of a famous TV host, seeking a good name and beauty. Even if life hadn’t been easy growing up, at least there was nothing outwardly shabby.

Here, there was no bookcase, though some piled calligraphy copybooks sat outside—likely relics from Mi Shanxin’s grandfather.

It’s hard to breathe freely in such a cramped space. Jian Wanji’s own bought house was huge. She’d once thought it too big and wanted a smaller one. Now, seeing this, she realized she’d gone from frugality to extravagance and forgotten the days she’d lived through before.

A thin, weak voice interrupted Jian Wanji’s drifting thoughts. She instinctively looked over. The blanket covered the girl’s upper body and half her face. She was whimpering softly, already looking pitiful.

Jian Wanji, sitting to the side, couldn’t help but pull the blanket back over her, afraid she’d catch a chill.

Mi Shanxin busied herself, but didn’t forget to glare at Jian Wanji. She wanted to scold her for meddling but didn’t quite dare, afraid the person she’d finally managed to lure here would just leave.

Yet her hands were desperately busy, tears and sweat both appearing, doing nothing for her mood. She didn’t even know what she was so frantically trying to do.

Jian Wanji felt anxious for her. Mi Shanxin ate only that tiny amount, and her daily activity level was so high, yet she still couldn’t sleep. Sleep disorders were truly terrifying.

The specific psychological issues needed further investigation, but Jian Wanji completely believed she wasn’t lying in the slightest.

Do teenagers these days not have physiology class? Wasn’t the era supposed to be progressing? What exactly was she touching? She hadn’t found it at all.

Mi Shanxin suddenly stopped. She blankly stared at the ceiling, as if utterly spent. But she hadn’t fallen asleep.

After a few seconds, her voice came out with a thin, tearful quiver: “It worked before… when I did this…”

Too pitiful.

Sprite Bitter Gourd would be a dessert compared to Mi Shanxin.

Jian Wanji took out a box of finger cots from her bag. She’d never used these before and studied the instructions under the desk lamp for a long time. Hearing the sound, Mi Shanxin weakly turned her head. “What are you looking at?”

Jian Wanji thought to herself: Still too soft. Shouldn’t she be demanding I fulfill my obligation right about now?

She worried Mi Shanxin got bullied at school. Maybe through the process of growing up, she’d been bullied but never took it to heart, which was why she forgave so easily.

But what else could forgiveness do? Mi Shanxin had no one behind her. She’d struggled to grow up, gotten into university, didn’t break the law, did part-time work, labor in exchange for pay. She’d already done remarkably well.

Jian Wanji sighed. “…Reading the instructions.”

The woman’s fingers were very long and slender. Mi Shanxin had noticed that the very first time they met.

Back then, Jian Wanji’s fingers were hooked around the gift bag handle, the shape of her hand already beautiful. That day, the woman hadn’t worn a ring. In their subsequent meetings, the ring came and went.

It wasn’t always on the ring finger, nor always gold or silver—there was a jade one too.

Now, as Jian Wanji read the instructions and acted, she took her ring off.

Mi Shanxin was a little disappointed. Since this was the first time, she didn’t say anything. After all, the fact that the other person was even here was already very honest.

The additional contract had been demanded by Mi Shanxin, and the other party had been mostly unwilling. Even if the contract stated the penalty for breach, to a successful person with considerable assets, a few hundred thousand was pocket change. If Mi Shanxin had asked for a million, knowing Jian Wanji’s personality, she probably wouldn’t default either.

But she still kept her promise. She’d agreed to Mi Shanxin, and she really came.

Mi Shanxin had never brought anyone home before, not even Li Yin.

Friends needed distance. For instance, she had no way to show Li Yin her impossibly tiny room, always agreeing to meet outside.

Jian Wanji was different. This transactional relationship could weaken all of Mi Shanxin’s misgivings.

The other party wasn’t hers, exclusively. Mi Shanxin had simply found no other way out.

The differences between them were vast—circles, age, profession. Even with this transactional period, after it ended, they’d disperse into the sea of people, never to meet again.

“When did you buy this?” Even clueless as she was about such matters, Mi Shanxin could tell this was meant to be used.

Her finances were so strapped that buying adult toys required careful budgeting. That’s why she preferred doing it herself. Jian Wanji was the freebie that came with the contract, more like the bonus gift Li Yin’s magazine subscriptions always came with.

Mi Shanxin liked this particular bonus gift too.

“Got it from a friend. She has a lot… don’t give me that look, it’s not what you’re thinking.” Jian Wanji explained, “She has investments in this area. Naturally not under the company name.”

Mi Shanxin was even more baffled: “And you still need the instructions?”

Jian Wanji tried to project the experience an adult should have, feigning profundity. “Safety first.”

Her back was already sweating, but she still had to act at ease, moving from the stool to the foot of the bed.

The scent of the sulfur soap Mi Shanxin had used for bathing was short-lived. The perfume on Jian Wanji was like a continuation of its saponaceous notes, inexplicably reassuring to the girl.

“…Have you had physiology class?” Jian Wanji asked. “I remember it was taught in middle school?”

“It was just the boys and girls separated. The girls watched a documentary in the classroom… This is so weird, Jian Wanji.” Mi Shanxin felt like she was getting a medical examination. She attributed it to the painfully white lights. She nudged the woman’s waist. “Turn off the light for me.”

“Okay…” Jian Wanji had only put a cot on her right hand. She turned off the main light, leaving only the single desk lamp on.

“What about back in your day?”

“Me… I went to a girls’ school. There were special classes.”

“…What did they teach? Did they teach you to take care of yourself?”

“Starting from the origin of life… I think. It was so long ago, I’ve kind of forgotten.” Jian Wanji’s voice was clear and bright. Mi Shanxin’s voice, in contrast, was much huskier, damp with moisture.

She was like a damp sponge, her soul trapped in a heavy body. Jian Wanji could feel the weariness beyond her years. “Doing this kind of thing is normal. No need to be embarrassed.”

“Although, doing this kind of thing with me isn’t normal.” Jian Wanji felt like a hypocrite herself, saying high-minded words while parting the girl’s most hidden place.

Even with the other’s tacit consent, she still carried the pressure. It wasn’t as simple as being a true scumbag, free of all scruples.

“There’s no one else…” Mi Shanxin felt it was inconvenient with her on the side. “Do you want to lie on top of me?”

“No need.”

Jian Wanji was highly tense, a strange heat burning her dizzy and confused. Her phone was on Do Not Disturb, intercepting countless messages.

At this moment, the world was reduced to this tiny room, a girl with fragmented breaths, and a hypocrite adult concealing her own chaos.

Mi Shanxin’s voice hitched in a sob. Jian Wanji frowned. “It hurts?”

The girl’s tone hadn’t infected Jian Wanji, whose question was like a routine check, even a bit stern.

“No…” Mi Shanxin shook her head. “It’s very comfortable… keep going.”

She seemed unable to hear any other sounds. Maybe her vision was also failing. The light source in the room became the red-and-white spinning light of a circus carousel. Jian Wanji was like an amusement park NPC that existed just for her.

Pity the service wasn’t for life. This limited-time NPC was even excessively strict. The protection was only for mutual health and hygiene.

Even at a time like this, Mi Shanxin suddenly recalled the shape of Jian Wanji’s hand holding the steering wheel, the way her fingers rested so lightly on the coffee cup, and the hand she’d withdrawn, afraid of being accused of harassment.

Now, that hand was in a place not easy to describe in detail. That thing—she didn’t know if it was matte or ribbed, Mi Shanxin had never felt anything like it in her life. She looked at Jian Wanji through tear-blurred eyes and whimpered, “Thank you.”

…

Once she was certain Mi Shanxin was asleep, Jian Wanji hurriedly grabbed her coat and left.

In the end, she took the trash from Mi Shanxin’s bin, and the used items, and threw them all away in the outside garbage can.

This hour was still early for Jian Wanji. Social engagements until dawn were routine for her.

Even though at her age, everyone in her circles pursued wellness, certain necessary occasions were unavoidable.

Mi Shanxin’s neighborhood was entirely different from Jian Wanji’s world.

The alley was too quiet. Jian Wanji walked out and found her car. She rested inside for a while before driving off, only after she’d banished the image of Mi Shanxin’s flushed cheeks from her mind.

Sui Yuqian had called her several times, then switched to WeChat voice messages.

“It’s fine if you don’t come, didn’t you have something to do?”

“Younger girls these days are pretty wild. Enjoy the experience.”

“Oh, right, not a younger sister, it’s a Little Mommy.”

“How’s the new product? I haven’t used it yet. You actually took the Fire and Ice Duo. That’s a bit much, isn’t it?”

Sui Yuqian’s speech easily curled at the tongue, and her habit of dragging out syllables made her sound a little weak and strange.

Fire and Ice Duo? All she knew was that even rolling down the window to let in the cold wind barely cooled her down.

Most people had a vague ideal type. Mi Shanxin was definitely not Jian Wanji’s ideal type.

She was too young, too thin and weak, far too immature for her actual age.

Even though she was covered by the blanket, it slipped from her struggling. The buttons of her old pajamas, long fallen off, were never sewn back. When she moved, Jian Wanji could see her nearly flat chest.

Very barren. Yet, from the movement and friction of the fabric, came sounds that made Jian Wanji want to get up and walk away.

Laughter and crying sound very similar. Pain and pleasure equally so.

Jian Wanji had never been this negatively close to anyone. Her intuition was always very accurate. She only prayed that after her revenge period was over, she could completely part ways with Mi Shanxin.

Compared to Sui Yuqian, who could harmoniously get along with every ex, the reason Jian Wanji didn’t easily enter relationships and resisted physical ones was because she couldn’t get past this hurdle.

How could people who’d been intimate sit down and talk, completely free of unease?

She didn’t think her acting was that good. Having seen each other in your most unguarded state, then sitting together impeccably dressed—she would just think of the other’s most bare-naked way displayed before her.

Mi Shanxin was still young, very young. She had a boundless future. They were just each taking what they needed.

If there had to be a choice, there were more suitable candidates out there.

Oh, right. She’d almost forgotten the girl’s strange specific taste.

What’s it to do with me? Jian Wanji’s car overtook another vehicle. She arrived at her destination and walked into the clamorous gathering place.

This was the hunting ground she was familiar with—not a cramped room, not an insomniac little girl who didn’t know how to say no.