Chapter 80: Confession

Su Mi thought for a moment that she was dreaming.

Even with countless premonitions, when those words truly rang in her ears, she still felt as if… struck hard.

Her mind went blank, her heart seized by an indifferent hand the instant she heard it, nearly stopping, even forgetting to breathe, her limbs going weak.

Her body temperature seemed to spike suddenly, and Su Mi wasn’t sure if she was trembling.

Her left hand was gripped by Shen Han, held earnestly as if it were a precious treasure.

Su Mi only felt… at a complete loss.

Not knowing if it was excitement or panic.

Her throat tightened, and she lowered her head to look at Shen Han.

In the hazy night, Shen Han gazed at her with serene and earnest expression.

The ice-blue of her eyes was like the sea rippling with moonlight, bright, devout, carrying an unquestionable certainty.

One glance made Su Mi feel scorched, and she flusteredly looked away.

No need for further confirmation—she knew the Shen Han before her was utterly serious, pure.

Expressing love to her.

Su Mi’s eyes grew hot, for her own anxiety, her own panic, and her own inadequacy.

After a dumbfounded pause, Su Mi stammered, “What does that mean…”

Her lashes trembled as she asked, “Sister, y-you… explain it more clearly. I don’t understand.”

Shen Han hummed and said, “I like you.”

A slight pause, then Shen Han wrapped both hands around Su Mi’s, still half-kneeling before her, looking straight into her eyes with complete gentleness.

“I’ve never liked anyone else, so maybe I’m not expressing it well. It took me a long time to confirm my feelings. I originally planned to pursue you slowly, let you see my heart, but right now… I can’t hold back. I want to confess to you.”

She spoke slowly, striving to convey her feelings, but even the most eloquent person would sound clumsy in this moment.

“I want to be with you… date, get married, spend a lifetime together, give you a promise of forever. I want you in my life always.”

Shen Han placed herself entirely in a lowly position, and as she spoke, the light in her eyes trembled faintly, as if revealing her own heartbeat.

Su Mi’s breath hitched, her heart pounding too fast—she felt like she was dying.

Not to mention her flushed face and ears; under that utterly serious gaze, she was crumbling, wanting to panic and look away, but her eyes were entangled, unable to evade.

How could she be… this serious for real.

So many, many people far better than her liked her. Shen Han had no need to lower herself like this, seeking love from someone as unworthy and flawed as Su Mi.

How could she know what love was, and how could she respond to Shen Han’s such pure affection?

Su Mi didn’t know how to face such a pure confession. She was just a tasker with a mission, impure motives, and she had no idea how to give a pure promise or love.

She only felt cowardly and flustered.

And amid all this fluster, Su Mi’s heart sank with a thud.

Actually, hearing this confession was already enough.

The next moment, the mission fails, she dies, and the whole world dies.

All are fine too.

Sumi tightly pursed her lips and said softly, “Oh oh…”

Shen Han sneered faintly, “Oh, what answer?”

Su Mi met her gaze, feeling her whole body burning hot, her throat parched, and speech difficult.

She mustered up an immense amount of courage, trying hard but still stammering haltingly, and with great difficulty finally spoke: “Why don’t you, why don’t you think about it again? Actually, I’m… pretty ordinary, and I’m… very afraid of change.”

The unspoken part was that, subconsciously, Su Mi feared even more that if she agreed, Shen Han would discover she wasn’t actually good enough and then abandon her.

Just the thought of it made Sumi’s heart sour and stagnant, her eyes reddening uncontrollably.

She lowered her eyes in trepidation, masking her overflowing emotions.

[CENSORED: softly repeating: “I didn’t…]

After saying that, she sniffed and mumbled, “Look, even with just this one passage, I’m already speaking all jumbled up…”

Su Mi could sense the seriousness with which Shen Han treated relationships.

Pure and unique feelings, eternal and absolute loyalty.

But how could anyone be perfect? Shen Han might be perfect, able to control her heart, but I myself am not.

Even if… she agrees, what if Shen Han later discovers my utterly unremarkable true self and regrets it? What then?

Su Mi thought that, given Shen Han’s character, he might strive to continue maintaining it out of this sense of responsibility.

But Sumi didn’t want things like this. If possible, she didn’t want to change—keeping the status quo would be fine. That way, she could stay safe and stable forever, and also avoid… being abandoned again.

She thought blankly.

“Sumi.”

Su Mi’s heart skipped a beat.

Shen Han said, “Look at me.”

Su Mi bit her lip, dazedly lifted her eyes, and met Shen Han’s gaze.

Only then did Shen Han clearly see Su Mi’s expression.

A face that faintly seems about to shed tears.

Red-rimmed eyes, the round, glossy gaze lifted with a pitiful, aggrieved look, as if about to shatter.

The tip of the nose twitched slightly, the lower lip bitten between her teeth, as if to bite herself to pieces.

Shen Han was slightly taken aback and also wanted to sigh.

“Why are you so scared, like a little dog drenched in the rain? If others see you like this, they’ll think I bullied you.” Shen Han lifted his hand, his fingertip pressing the corner of Su Mi’s lips, gently lifting it up.

She asked: “Do you trust me? Do you believe in my choices and promises?”

Sumi: “……Mm.”

Shen Han’s eyes curved slightly at the corners as he asked, “So you don’t need to be afraid. How could I possibly say something on impulse? I’ve thought it through very clearly, and I can assure you that I will never…”

Sumi hurriedly interrupted: “Don’t—don’t say it so absolutely.”

She frowned and sniffed, “What I said just now was also after careful consideration. You—you don’t really know me either.”

Shen Han said: “Then I’ll answer seriously… First, please face yourself squarely. In the eyes of those who truly understand and like you, you have countless shining points on you—it would take days and nights to list them all. I think you’re the best of the best.”

“And, liking someone—isn’t it about how good they are? Why not have the secretary team make an analysis report, then have the business line give a presentation on who is the most correct, rational, and optimal choice to like?”

At this point, Shen Han chuckled lightly, then restrained her smile, looking straight at Su Mi with a serious tone: “I think… at least, it’s what I think—liking someone means listening to your own heart.”

Su Mi was stunned and opened her mouth speechlessly.

Shen Han took her hand and guided her fingers, gently placing them on Shen Han’s left chest.

Under the quiet moonlight, her fingertips inevitably felt, through the fabric and softness, the powerful, surging heartbeat.

Even though the sensation wasn’t very clear, Su Mi felt her own heartbeat gradually syncing with it, becoming calm and reassured.

For some reason, the tip of her nose suddenly felt sour, with a distinct warmth welling up.

The thumping heartbeat seemed to be saying…

Is there?

Is there a heartbeat?

Shen Han looked at her for a moment, then suddenly laughed and said: “Does this count as groping my chest?”

Su Mi froze, her face flushing red as she pulled her hand back. “You’re the one being a hooligan, how come you’re making me…”

But under Shen Han’s amused gaze, Su Mi’s voice trailed off.

She changed the subject: “You’re bringing up old scores… I didn’t even say anything, but you always sneakily act like a hooligan and take advantage of me.”

Shen Han shrugged. “I admit fault, but it’s mainly because I like you too much—I can’t help wanting to get close to you.”

Su Mi huffed: “But for an Alpha, wouldn’t you feel more desire to get close to other Omegas? If you can’t control yourself like this.”

“…Are you an idiot?” Shen Han said helplessly. “I said it’s because I like you. Do you think your sister is some irrational beast who goes into heat anytime, anywhere?”

Su Mi: “…” During her susceptibility period before, she kind of was.

Suddenly remembering this, Su Mi felt a pang of guilt.

Shen Han… still didn’t know that she’d helped her through her susceptibility period, or that she was an Omega.

There were even more things she was hiding from her.

She averted her gaze, her face heating up, and muttered: “Sister… which sister confesses to her barely legal college student little sister?”

Shen Han: “What can I do? You’re so popular—if I don’t tell you sooner, you’ll run off with someone else.”

Su Mi: “I’m not popular.”

Shen Han: “Not? Last time, someone added you on Guangxin right in front of me, and you added them back just fine.”

It took Su Mi a good while to remember who Shen Han was talking about.

Why does she have so many old scores on me?

Feeling guilty, Su Mi said: “It was just politeness. I haven’t chatted with him since.”

Shen Han gave a light hum: “Good thing.”

Su Mi: …Why is she suddenly being possessive?

She glanced at Shen Han, not entirely convinced, and said: “Y-you’re one to talk. That female host from Haicheng—you just realized she was after you, right? Every time on Guangxin, she beats around the bush asking about you… and Shi Shuyue…”

Shen Han stared at her unblinkingly, her eyes lighting up with amusement as she said: “And? What else do you want to know?”

Not wanting to seem too jealous, Su Mi cut herself off: “Just that.”

Shen Han said: “Shi Shuyue and I met in middle school. You know about the Shi family’s situation. By some coincidence, I saved her once, and after that, she always stuck with me and Li Zhao. When we graduated, there was infighting in the Shi family—her father was gravely injured, and Shi Shuyue was nearly tricked into marrying a not-so-great Alpha. Out of friendship, I helped sort out the Shi family’s mess, freed her from their control, and sent her abroad. That’s all there was to it.”

“As for this time she came back…” Shen Han paused slightly. “I really didn’t know she had feelings for me. I only took you to her concert earlier because I thought it would help your mental power. Upstairs, her father brought up the idea of a marriage alliance, and I rejected it very clearly. I didn’t expect Shi Shuyue to be so persistent.”

Su Mi remembered what Shi Shuyue had said at the gallery before.

“Maybe you’re too nice to her, and it gave her the wrong idea? She really likes the painting you made of her…”

Shen Han looked puzzled. “Which one?”

She recalled it and smiled faintly. “The painting class at Lolan Academy? Li Zhao wanted to paint herself and couldn’t model for me, so I painted Shi Shuyue since she was there. That painting should be with Li Zhao now. If that’s the case, then I like Li Zhao even more. How did you see it?”

“At the gallery, Yu Ranran was copying one and introduced it to me,” Su Mi said.

Shen Han nodded in understanding. “So that’s why you were in a bad mood at your exhibition that day? Were you jealous?”

The usually gentle-voiced Shen Han tilted her head like she was coaxing a child, her smile obvious as she looked at Su Mi.

Su Mi’s face turned red under her gaze, and she refuted softly: “…Not really.”

She just felt inferior, like she didn’t qualify.

Looking back now, she realized she’d been stuck in a dead end.

As her face reddened, Shen Han gently squeezed her hand, lowered her eyes, cleared her throat lightly, and asked: “So, what are your thoughts, roughly?”

“Huh? About Shi Shuyue?” Su Mi said. “I don’t dislike her. I think she’s not bad, really—just that she probably liked you since middle school. You rejected her so absolutely back then, but now you’re parading me in front of her like nothing’s wrong, which probably stimulated her…”

“Not that,” Shen Han said helplessly. “And I…”

She paused, her brows furrowing slightly.

But then she said: “If she confessed to me, I don’t remember it or how I rejected her. I only know clearly that I only see her as a friend.”

Su Mi was taken aback.

Shen Han let go of Su Mi’s hand, pressed her temple, her fingers twitching slightly before she said: “You say you don’t understand me—actually… that’s partly my own fault.”

Shen Han said candidly, “I’m not a perfect person either. I’ve been undergoing treatment for mental power disorder. Li Zhao is my psychologist, which is why I asked your good friend to take on that part-time job. My mental power broke through at some point after high school graduation, and the shock left my memories of that period rather hazy.”

At this point, Shen Han paused slightly, and those ice-blue eyes filled with the shimmering moonlight drooped a little.

“Last time, when I asked if you were willing to open this door, I wasn’t even sure myself if the door on my side was good enough.”

“You’re afraid I’ll regret it, and I’m worried too… If the world behind the door is a total mess, would you still want to keep liking me?”

“So I’m not pushing you for an answer right away,” Shen Han said with a soft sigh. “I just want you to understand my feelings—and I hope that certain little shrimp who always curls up won’t keep playing deaf and dumb to dodge my pursuit. Okay?”