Chapter 79
“If you’re angry… you can clamp me.”
Through her teary, misty eyes, the pelican saw the usually cool and elegant swan lower her neck, inviting her to do something with an obscure and ambiguous meaning.
But the large pink beak that had wanted to clamp everything in the world restrained its impulse.
“…W-what do you mean you were cheated on ten times?”
She stared at the swan, her voice trembling.
The swan looked back at her in silence.
After a moment, a certain soft helplessness flowed in her eyes.
She took a light breath, and her cool voice was soaked in the moonlight.
“Swans are loyal by nature. Once they’ve chosen a partner, they will spend their lives with them and never leave.”
“And I have indeed, since I was little, longed to spend my life with my one and only partner.”
“So, although we started with a long-distance online relationship… I did, with the intention of spending my life with you, solemnly accept your confession.”
At that time, Yun Qing had downloaded and used a dating app for work and had never thought she would meet a familiar pelican—
After logging into her new account and being automatically redirected to the recommendation page, three vibrant and cute photos of a pelican had unexpectedly leaped into her eyes.
Yun Qing had subconsciously clicked on them and had been lost in thought.
Her mind had instantly recalled the cute little pelican who, when she had been injured as a youth, had shielded her and, with its large pink beak, had fiercely clamped down on the bad beast.
The bad beast had been driven away, and the little pelican had proudly flapped its not-yet-fully-fledged wings, and then had dived into the lake to catch fish for her.
It had brought up a large fish.
Then it had proudly presented the large fish to her, its eyes sparkling as it looked at her, signaling her to eat.
“…”
Yun Qing had been in a dilemma.
A swan’s beak is very small. She couldn’t possibly eat such a large fish.
After a long while, the little pelican had finally reacted and had sheepishly swallowed the fish herself.
Then she had earnestly caught many small fish for her.
At that time, they had both been small animals who had been inexplicably rejected by their own kind, and had been struggling by the lake, drawing warmth from each other.
…
Such a cute, righteous, and brave little pelican had always been vividly and deeply alive in Yun Qing’s memory.
And so, even after so many years, she had still recognized her in an instant.
After a moment of hesitation, she had finally and subtly changed her profile picture to a picture of her own life, and had gone to leave a message, hoping that the other might still remember her.
Unfortunately, the little pelican seemed to have completely forgotten her.
But unexpectedly, the little pelican had fallen in love with her at first sight.
After so many years, this pelican was as cute, straightforward, and enthusiastic as she had been in her youth, and the charming naivety of her nature had not faded.
In the months of meticulous care and devotion, and the direct and fervent expressions, Yun Qing had found it hard to resist her heart’s pounding, and had gladly accepted the confession.
At this point, everything was as dreamlike and sweet as a fairy tale.
Who knew that all the romance would be shattered just a few days into the relationship.
“That night, you posted a Moment.”
From that enthusiastic and joyful sharing, anyone could see what kind of love this pelican was in, and how she sincerely adored the other person.
And anyone could see how happy the bird she loved would be.
The only thing that was not perfect was that the main character of this Moment was a “white egret sister.”
For a bird without bird blindness, a swan and a white egret are completely different, both in appearance and habits, so it should be easy to distinguish them.
Yun Qing had also never known that bird blindness existed, so she naturally could not have made that connection.
Moreover, a few minutes later, that Moment had been deleted out of guilt.
Hearing this, Gu Yue hastily explained:
“It wasn’t deleted out of guilt! I had wanted to write a private love diary, but I accidentally sent it publicly, and after I realized, I immediately made it private.”
Yun Qing sighed lightly. “But I didn’t know at the time.”
In short, after seeing that Moment, she had not slept all night.
She was both in disbelief and unable to deceive herself.
Her chest had been tight with pain in the middle of the night, and Yun Qing had opened her dry and reddened eyes and had taken out her phone.
With trembling hands, she had clicked into a certain social media platform that most humans and beasts used and had searched for “Gu Yue.”
This foolish pelican had used her real name for all her account nicknames.
Yun Qing had been able to find her account smoothly—
The personal signature was “With Egret.”
The latest post on her homepage was a repost of “108 Habits of a White Egret,” with the caption “Read and recite.”
It had been updated the night before they had confirmed their relationship.
“…”
Yun Qing’s breath had hitched suddenly.
All of this, naturally, constituted a “cheating.”
The proud and devoted swan, in her first taste of love, had encountered such a cruel and fickle love.
She had not torn her face, and had not wanted to make a scene. She had just decisively and neatly broken up with her and had blocked Gu Yue’s account.
But she had not expected this pelican to be so fickle, to have even forgotten her right after the breakup—
In the third week of their separation, Gu Yue had once again launched a fervent pursuit of her account, which had a new profile picture and nickname.
From her words, it was clear that she was treating her as a new and strange bird.
Yun Qing, who was still struggling in the withdrawal period of her breakup, had found it incomprehensible.
A pelican is clearly also a naturally loyal bird that stays with its partner for life. Why was this pelican so promiscuous?
And even more, Gu Yue had so many birds in her fishpond that she, Yun Qing, had not even left a single trace of her existence.
Swans are proud, and she had been unwilling to get entangled with a faithless bird.
No matter how many cute things the other said, how much she said she liked her, she had ignored her… at least for the first few days.
But she was, after all, too young.
As a swan who had been full of innocent fantasies about love, Yun Qing would still occasionally be unable to help but think back to her wish of “a lifetime with one pair of birds.”
Gu Yue had once been piously identified by her as her lifelong partner, and for her, she was ultimately a special existence, difficult to completely and cleanly remove from her heart.
And with the emotions of the withdrawal period acting up…
Yun Qing had actually begun to feel that all the previous events might have been a series of unfortunate misunderstandings.
What if, what if she gave her another chance?
This time, she was ultimately not as brave as last time. She had not told her real name and identity, and had used a new name.
After being fervently pursued for a month, she had once again been unable to help but accept Gu Yue’s confession.
But the facts had proven that there is only zero and countless times for cheating.
On the third night of their second relationship, Gu Yue had suddenly called her “pelican baby.”
She had praised her with a full heart of love, “Jiejie, you are the cutest pelican in the world.”
—Clearly, she had accidentally mixed up the girlfriends in her list.
So the last time had not been a misunderstanding. This pelican was truly hopelessly fickle.
Yun Qing had been so angry that she had dumped Gu Yue for the second time.
Once bitten, twice shy. She would never be so foolish as to look back again!
…
Twenty days later, this fickle pelican had come to pursue her again.
The usually calm and composed Yun Qing had almost gritted her teeth to pieces in front of her phone screen.
She had taken several deep breaths and, after much thought, had simply and directly agreed to the pelican.
—She had decided to pretend to agree to the relationship, but in reality, it was to find and contact the deceived victim birds, to let everyone know the true face of this scumbag bird.
Who knew that the pelican was a professional sea king.
On the one hand, she did occasionally reveal a loophole—
That day, Gu Yue had changed her new WeChat ID, and the suffix number was 0327. When asked, she had only vaguely said that it was an important festival.
Yun Qing had searched online and had found that it was World White Crane Day.
On the other hand, she was flawless.
She had actually made it so that Yun Qing could not find the specific contact information of any other victim birds.
The day before World White Crane Day that year, Yun Qing had broken up with her again.
This time, she had found that the pelican would actually and sincerely be sad for losing her.
Looking at the little pelican’s tearful words on the social media platform, Yun Qing had been lost in thought, and for some reason, her eyes had also grown hot.
Until her gaze had browsed to the last line:
“…It hurts so much, ooh-ooh-ooh. I’ll never date a white crane sister again in this life!”
Yun Qing: “…”
Oh, so Gu Yue had even lost several loves at once, and it wasn’t even her turn to be missed yet.
Clearly, this pelican’s heart had been broken into many pieces, and each piece was constantly falling in love with a different sister bird.
A swan believed that a scumbag pelican who wantonly trampled on a sincere heart should pay the price.
And so, the next few relationships were more of a deliberate revenge.
The fourth time, the fifth time… the eighth, ninth, and tenth time.
But Yun Qing was far from as cool as she had imagined.
Although Gu Yue had divided her heart into many pieces, the piece she had given her was always fervent and sincere, creating the illusion of a full heart and eyes that loved only her, one bird.
It made Yun Qing always unconsciously think of her youth, of that cute little bird that had tried so hard to protect her and had fiercely clamped down on the bad beast with its large pink beak…
The proud swan had originally just wanted to wantonly punish the other.
But she had, without realizing it, completely fallen into a game of hurting both the other bird and herself, and had been entangled with a thoroughly scumbag pelican for several years, unable to pick it up or put it down.
Agreeing to a confession, breaking up, secretly waiting for Gu Yue’s next pursuit, and so on, in a cycle.
Sometimes, she also couldn’t tell if she was taking revenge, or if she was deceiving herself under the guise of revenge, just to continue to have contact with the other without hurting her dignity.
Later, her company had moved, and Yun Qing had also moved.
From the south to the north, she had moved to the courtyard next to the company where the pelican was.
Seven parts coincidence, three parts deliberation.
And this pelican had actually gone from being a scumbag online to being a scumbag offline.
That night, the moon was dark and the wind was high, and the streetlights were also broken.
They had met at the main gate and couldn’t even see each other’s faces.
As new neighbors, they had greeted each other friendly.
“Your name is Yun Qing?”
The pelican had raised the tip of her wing to scratch her head, as if thinking about something.
“Mhm.”
Yun Qing’s face was calm and cool, aloof and distant, but in reality, she was secretly holding her breath.
In all of their twisted relationships after, she had always used a random name.
But in their first relationship, she had seriously told her her name.
But she had seen Gu Yue think for a long time, and in the end, she had just smiled. “Mmm, it sounds a little familiar.”
A sharp pain had pierced Yun Qing’s heart, and her voice had been extremely cold when she had spoken. “If there’s nothing else, you can go now.”
“Oh, oh.”
Gu Yue had clearly been standing at the main gate of her own house, but she had still obediently agreed.
She had dawdled. “Actually, I wanted to ask, can I clamp you?”
It was in her nature. No matter if a new person or a new beast appeared around her, Gu Yue would want to clamp them.
It had nothing to do with romance, but was just to measure the other’s size and shape, which would give a pelican a sense of security.
The big sister bird next door had been silent for a moment, and her voice seemed to have grown even colder. “Clamp where?”
The pelican’s eyes had lit up. She had really thought that Yun Qing was a big sister bird who was willing to be clamped by a strange pelican.
After a moment’s thought, she had chosen a convenient spot that she had never clamped before and had happily and considerately suggested:
“Clamp the neck.”
Yun Qing: “…”
Biting the neck is an act of intimacy during mating.
To be able to so easily make such a frivolous request to a strange bird, she was truly an absurd and incorrigible repeat offender scumbag bird!
And so, Gu Yue had not even had time to see clearly before she had been pecked by the new big sister bird next door.
She had pitifully bandaged herself.
She had then turned to the internet to complain to her dear girlfriend:
“She clearly agreed with me, but the next second, she pecked me. She went back on her word!”
Yun Qing, who had been so angry she had pecked a bird for the first time, had replied coldly:
“Is that so? But I think she’s a good bird.”
She had paused and had continued to type:
“So why did you propose to clamp her neck? How many birds’ necks have you bitten before?”
The swan, who had always been emotionally restrained and had even carefully suppressed her anger, had for the first time asked so many questions in a row.
Before Gu Yue could answer, she had coldly broken up with her and had blocked her, her movements so practiced they were perfect.
This was their tenth breakup.
And the foolish pelican, unable to make heads or tails of it, had looked at the “I think she’s a good bird” and had cried her heart out all night.
Her beloved white egret sister had actually thought that a bird she had never met, who had pecked her, was good, and had decisively dumped her for it.
What was so good about her?
She had to see for herself!
Half a month later, Gu Yue, under the pretext of delivering cookies, had held her breath and had rung the doorbell next door.
Ding-dong.
After a moment of waiting, the door had been opened, and a large waterfowl had appeared in her line of sight.
Gu Yue’s gaze had been burning. She had shot a look over, sullenly wanting to figure out what was so good about this bird.
A closer look, and her whole being had frozen.
Hiss.
This surging, spring-like, and crazy heart-pounding feeling…
Gu Yue had once again fallen in love with the big goose sister next door at first sight, and her whole being had been plunged into a one-sided, passionate love.
In the days of her heart pounding for a new sister bird, Gu Yue had also had a few moments where she had suddenly felt that something was strange.
Every single one of her ex-girlfriends, although their appearances and species were completely different, had very similar personalities, and their tones and ways of speaking were all the same, always hitting her right in the heart.
Why had she always been so lucky?
…My head is so itchy. I feel like I’m about to grow a brain.
Forget it.
I really like the big goose sister, ooh.
***
Unlike their previous online chats, this was an offline pursuit.
This detestable, fickle pelican was even cuter offline than online.
Every day, with that beautiful and vibrant, youthful and energetic face, she would run over to bring her food and drinks and gifts, and would ask after her health.
Her pair of bright eyes held a fervent, sincere, and full love, which burned Yun Qing’s heart.
The cuter and more heart-itching she was, the more uncomfortable Yun Qing became.
Sometimes, when she really couldn’t take it, she couldn’t help but deliberately pretend to peck the pelican, wanting to drive her away.
Who knew that the next day, the pelican would come over with bandages on both her wings, pitifully saying that she was in pain, clearly trying to extort a bird.
Yun Qing had actually softened again.
Although she hadn’t really pecked her, what if the little pelican was really in pain?
Until that day, the company where Gu Yue worked had published a magazine, the “Small Animal Survival Guide.”
Her friends were all reading it and praising it.
So Yun Qing had also bought a copy to read, and had unexpectedly seen a documentary of Gu Yue and the big goose’s love in the magazine.
[The pelican was tied to the trunk of the cypress tree in the courtyard, unable to move. Though she was already covered in marks, she trembled and said to the big goose that was pecking her, “It’s not enough…”]
Yun Qing’s heart had trembled.
So, Gu Yue was pursuing her on the surface, but behind her back, she was experiencing such an exciting love game with another bird.
So, the bandages on Gu Yue’s wings were also real. She had been pecked and injured by another big goose outside.
And she, Yun Qing, was still foolishly reflecting and regretting.
That night, Yun Qing had repeatedly read the magazine and had not slept all night.
For several years, her feelings had been muddled.
Looking back, she had only then discovered that she, a swan who thought she was proud, had unconsciously been entangled in a false love of “a lifetime with one pair of birds” that she had imagined, and her dignity and pride had long since been scattered into the mud.
…
Yun Qing was preparing to move and completely say goodbye to the past.
She had deleted her account, uninstalled the software, and was looking at new houses, and had become more and more cold to the pelican next door.
The night before she moved, she had let the pelican into her courtyard, as a one-sided farewell.
But she had seen the pelican look at her cutely and say, “Even if you don’t let me clamp you, you are still the best goose in my heart, the big goose of all big geese!”
Yun Qing had coldly and skillfully driven the pelican away.
Then, she had belatedly realized what had just happened, and her whole being had frozen in place.
The moon was bright and the stars were bright, and the light was clear and wide.
They were face to face, looking at each other so clearly.
How could Gu Yue so confidently call her a big goose?
And even after she had said she was a swan, she had had such a look of sudden realization.
In a flash of inspiration, Yun Qing had suddenly realized a rather dramatic and almost unbelievable possibility—
The white crane, the white egret, the pelican, the big goose, and all the other “cheating partners” that had appeared in Gu Yue’s mouth, but had never been caught by her…
Could they all be her, one swan, herself?
That night, Yun Qing’s heart had been in a frenzy.
Following this absurd possibility, her breath had trembled as she had collected and sorted through all the past evidence, and had found that everything matched.
In her subsequent interactions with Gu Yue, she had probed and had gradually confirmed her guess.
—This pelican seemed to have only been in a passionate love with her from beginning to end.
Forced to forget her, instinctively falling in love with her, and then seriously pursuing her.
“Later, you mistook my white egret friend for a pelican. But actually, before that, I had already completely understood.”
“…And that’s my entire mental journey.”
The cool and proud swan threw off all her burdens, and her eyes, in the clear white moonlight, were filled with a fragile, thin mist.
“For this period of time, I have been pondering how to tell you all this.”
“But I was also worried that if you knew that I am far from being as elegant and proud as I appear on the surface, and that behind the scenes, I would be so muddled and without dignity in love, and that I did not have complete trust in you, and had not given myself a cool and easy release, and had even once had the wicked thought of revenge…”
“Perhaps you would never want to look at me again.”
“You… mmm…”
Yun Qing’s words were suddenly cut off in her mouth and turned into a rapid gasp.
—Her slender neck was gently bitten by the pelican.
