Chapter 12

Lin Ye loved reading, both Chinese and foreign classics, and was willing to make time for movies adapted from them.

Alice in Wonderland was a movie she had recommended to Tang Feiwan, so Tang Feiwan certainly understood the implication. But back then, she had pretended to be clueless, wanting to hear a more direct confession. She shook her head slyly. “I don’t know.”

The air fell silent for a few seconds before Lin Ye’s warm, soft voice sounded in her ear. She enunciated softly, with a hint of laughter and a lazy tenderness that tugged at the heart.

“Because I like you, without reason.”

The letter slipped from her fingers. The sweeter the memories, the deeper Tang Feiwan’s regret now. Curled in the corner of the big bed, eyes lowered, her chest trembling, she let tears soak the pillow she hugged.

The next day was a rest day. Tang Feiwan didn’t set an alarm and woke at noon. She carefully put the letter away into the tin box. Generally, domestic letters sent abroad could go by international surface mail or registered airmail. Registered mail was safer and allowed tracking. But the letters Tang Feiwan had received were all ordinary mail.

It was before the tenant of the adjacent room checked out that the mailbox shared by the two rooms was opened and the four letters were dug out.

No wonder Lin Ye had occasionally asked if she’d received any letters. But she hadn’t paid attention at the time…

Lunch was three slices of whole wheat bread and a bottle of yogurt. After watching surgical videos from two domestic experts, Tang Feiwan, who had decided last night not to give up, went out with the pleasant thought of working out together with Lin Ye.

Two hours later, she returned home. No sign of Lin Ye. Is she deliberately avoiding me outside work? Her mood plummeted, and she could only numb herself with more surgical videos. Fortunately, at dinnertime, Lin Ye gave her a shot in the arm. She posted a document in the work group, saying, “Here are my notes from the two-day emergency medicine conference over the weekend. Feel free to look.”

Tang Feiwan was the first to reply: “Received!” So eager, like a sycophant sucking up to the boss.

Lin Ye didn’t speak again, but Tang Feiwan’s frozen mood suddenly thawed at the document.

Doctors’ rest days were mostly spent in training, meetings, and self-study. Tang Feiwan, who wished she could work every day, arrived at the hospital early again. Lin Ye, who had left two minutes after her, drove and entered the changing room a minute earlier than her.

Tang Feiwan knocked. Hearing no answer, she turned the handle and entered. She’d taken only two steps when she saw someone standing in front of a locker, long hair falling over her shoulders, a slender, upright figure, a plain chiffon blouse half-removed, the skin at the nape of her neck startlingly white.

A familiar back. Tang Feiwan’s breath caught, and she froze in place. Her suddenly exploding heartbeat made her ears buzz. She didn’t dare look any longer, hurriedly averted her eyes, and fled. A colleague from Group 3 next door happened to push the door open, swiped her card to collect her scrubs, and saw her flushed face. “Doctor Tang, are you feeling unwell?”

Tang Feiwan stammered, “It’s, it’s hot.”

The female doctor walked to her locker, saw the scrubs draped over Tang Feiwan’s arm, and asked casually, “Not changing?” She caught sight of Lin Ye in the corner and instantly understood. She smiled. “Doctor Tang, we’re all women. Why be shy?”

At that, Tang Feiwan felt her face burn even hotter. She forced herself to stay calm and laughed it off. “N-no, I’m not.” She closed her eyes, shuffled two steps toward Lin Ye, took out her key, and, keeping her eyes fixed straight ahead, unlocked and opened her personal locker.

They were less than a meter apart. Tang Feiwan didn’t know what to do, staring blankly at the white coat in her locker. The Group 3 doctor was efficient, changed quickly, and left the changing room. But Lin Ye, who had entered first, still hadn’t moved.

Why isn’t she leaving? Is she as nervous as I am?

Tang Feiwan’s unfounded speculation was like a seductive snake, wriggling into her chest. It made her involuntarily turn her head and accidentally meet Lin Ye’s pair of eyes, the eyes she’d thought of day and night.

She’s looking at me too?

Their gazes met, and Tang Feiwan suddenly remembered the night before she left the country in July 2010. A certain place in her heart began to burn.

At the time, the standardized residency training system was still in its infancy. After Lin Ye graduated with her master’s, she stayed at the Second Affiliated Hospital’s emergency department. As a resident, she had three day shifts, two night shifts, one rest day, and one 24-hour duty per week. On July 19, though it was a day shift, it was nearly midnight when Tang Feiwan got through.

“My flight is at 8 tomorrow morning.”

“I’ll see you off.”

“But Teacher Tang will be there.”

“I’ll just watch from afar.”

“What about now? Want to see me?”

“What?” The sound of water was loud, and Lin Ye didn’t hear clearly.

“Are you in the shower?” Tang Feiwan confirmed her parents were asleep and “ran away from home” in the middle of the night. She was now outside Lin Ye’s rented apartment, using the key Lin Ye had given her to unlock the door.

“Mm.” The rented studio was a single, fully equipped unit. Perhaps she heard the sound outside, or perhaps it was telepathy, but Lin Ye turned off the water, wrapped herself in a bath towel from the nearby washstand, and stepped out of the bathroom.

“Guess where I’m…” Tang Feiwan closed the door and turned, but the words stuck in her throat at the sight before her.

Lin Ye met her gaze, her eyes soft as water, with a joy she couldn’t hide and the sorrow of imminent separation.

Tang Feiwan stared into her eyes, and even though the towel half-concealed Lin Ye’s graceful figure, alluring in the moist air, she didn’t look away for even half a second.

“Tangtang.” Lin Ye had just bathed, a blush at the corners of her eyes. She called her nickname and kissed her warm lips.

They had first tasted the forbidden fruit two years earlier, on Tang Feiwan’s 20th birthday, so it shouldn’t have felt so unfamiliar. Yet being kissed by the woman before her, her warm tongue dancing with hers, passionate and surging with love, she initially responded cautiously. Gradually realizing the other woman’s reluctance to part, she reached up to cradle Lin Ye’s neck, letting her kiss deeper, their lips and teeth intertwined.

They stumbled onto the soft two-seater sofa. Tang Feiwan bent to kiss her eyes, her nose; to lightly bite her chin, her collarbone; to chase and kiss her sensitive ears, the porcelain-white side of her neck…

Bit by bit, inch by inch, tender kisses bloomed on her slightly flushed skin, lingering in the misty forest of her body.

The towel loosened. Tang Feiwan’s left hand couldn’t help but caress her slender waist. Lin Ye responded, breathing low, her fingers restlessly threading through Tang Feiwan’s hair.

That night, as if they had endless words, they possessed each other again and again…

“Doctor Tang, after handoff, general internal medicine will transfer a patient to you. You’ll be in charge.” Lin Ye’s voice suddenly sounded in her ear, like a sword cutting through her inappropriate thoughts.

Tang Feiwan snapped back to her senses, her throat still a bit dry. Listening to Lin Ye’s retreating footsteps, she turned to look at herself in the mirror.

A face flushed with blood, crimson enough to drip.