Chapter 63 Part 3

“Sis…” Bai Kou lay there, facing her, suddenly grabbing her arm like clutching a lifeline. “Actually, I have a secret. It’s been a long time, and I haven’t told anyone…”

Bai Yuqiao stopped thinking and looked down.

Bai Kou sniffled, her eye sockets circled red, her whole face flushed.

Unclear if from drunkenness or about to cry.

“I… I think it’s my fault that things turned out like this with Yang Kuikui…” Bai Kou spoke haltingly.

Bai Yuqiao frowned, her motion of pressing the temple slowing to a stop.

“Every time I told you… it was because Yang Kuikui grew up and stopped paying attention to me… that’s why we became like this…” Bai Kou sniffled again. “No… it’s not… it’s not…”

“It’s QY.”

QY? Bai Yuqiao was stunned, not understanding.

“I… I didn’t like QY.”

Bai Yuqiao sat ramrod straight, her jawline tightening because she completely couldn’t comprehend. She lowered her head trying to meet her sister’s eyes, but failed. Bai Kou released her hand and covered her eyes, as if wiping tears.

“I really didn’t like her… But I’d never met her… I didn’t even know who she was… Because of her… for a while, I really hated Yang Kuikui… I didn’t know why I hated her…” Bai Kou grew more choked up. “So actually… I didn’t pay attention to her either… I pretended it was because she was busy with her senior year… pretended it was because she was hiding things from me…”

“One day I figured it out… That feeling of dislike was gone by then… But it was too late to go back…”

“Sister…” Bai Kou released her hands from her eyes and really cried. She looked up at Bai Yuqiao, feeling especially wronged. “I’m the bad one…”

Bai Yuqiao had pretty much guessed the answer. Her mind went blank, but she didn’t dare believe it.

Couldn’t believe it.

Didn’t want to believe it.

She turned her face away and breathed heavily, no longer looking at Bai Kou’s eyes.

Bai Kou gripped her hand tightly.

“Sister, I used to like Yang Wanxi.”

Silence.

Bai Yuqiao’s hand was still gripped, but she never lowered her head. She raised her chin, her chest heaving up and down uncontrollably.

Yang Wanxi sat at the supermarket entrance for a long time before going home.

She still thought Bai Kou needed the hangover remedies, so she had no choice but to return.

But just as she reached downstairs, she got a call from Yang Yingyun and stopped under a streetlamp: “Hello? Mom?”

Bai Kou seemed to want to pour out all her sorrows at once. After recounting the obscure events of her adolescence, she brought up that name she’d buried in her heart for over half a year.

Ever since Pei Yue said “I’m tired,” Bai Kou had never wanted to pester her again.

Though she didn’t understand why she was tired, didn’t understand why the fun things she shared were met with silence on the other end of the phone.

But in her view, there were many things in the world that might only have results, not necessarily reasons.

“I always wanted to call her one more time…”

Bai Kou sat up but couldn’t steady herself. Her head lolled powerlessly onto her sister’s shoulder, leaning against one of the safest harbors in her world.

“We clearly agreed… just wait until graduation… Why did she feel tired…”

Bai Kou pressed heavily against Bai Yuqiao’s chest—it was stifling—but Bai Yuqiao remained completely still, bearing it all.

Bai Kou grabbed her again, looking up with reddened eyes: “Sister… I’m sorry to you too… You told me not to date early… I…”

【Don’t cry.】 Bai Yuqiao couldn’t hold back anymore. She wiped Bai Kou’s tears. 【It’s okay, don’t cry.】

“Should I tell Yang Wanxi it was my fault? Should I call Pei Yue and say I miss her?” Bai Kou helplessly pulled at her. “Sister, what should I do?”

Bai Yuqiao’s fingertip paused on Bai Kou’s face.

So you got drunk, and the ones on your mind were still only Yang Wanxi and Pei Yue.

No me.

She looked into Bai Kou’s eyes from close up, eyes that clearly held only her in this moment.

All these years, Bai Yuqiao had worked hard to play the role of a good sister. Whenever Bai Kou had troubles, she was always the selfless problem-solver.

But at this moment, she suddenly wondered if she had been wrong. From the day she realized she liked Bai Kou, it had been impossible for her to be just a simple sister.

She knew she was very important in Bai Kou’s heart, but because she was the “sister,” Bai Kou would never have “romantic” feelings for her.

She did not want to stay stuck in this place forever, even if what lay ahead was a bottomless abyss.

She would still throw caution to the wind.

And jump.

Bai Yuqiao withdrew her gaze and slowly shook her head.

Bai Kou blinked in confusion. “Not supposed to?”

Bai Yuqiao nodded and mouthed the words: “Not supposed to.”

When Yang Wanxi got home, Bai Kou had already been sent back to her room to lie down. The living room was full of the smell of alcohol. As she passed by, she carefully counted and discovered that Bai Kou had drunk at least five cans.

You’re not drunk, who is? Yang Wanxi shook her head.

She knocked on the room door. The person who was not watching over Bai Kou but instead stood by the window with her back to Bai Kou turned around and glanced at Yang Wanxi.

“Sister Yuqiao.” Yang Wanxi raised the things in her hand. “I’ll make something for Bai Kou. Do you need any?”

Bai Yuqiao smiled faintly and shook her head.

A little past three in the morning, Bai Kou suddenly jolted awake from a vast white haze. Her body shivered, and she opened her eyes.

Nausea! Her head hurt like hell!

She struggled to sit up, but the person at the bedside grabbed her wrist.

Such a strong smell of alcohol.

Bai Kou looked at her sister, picked up her clothes and sniffed them first. Her clothes carried only the faint scent of laundry detergent.

She turned her head and then noticed that on the bedside table, two neat rows of opened pull-tab cans were lined up, all apparently empty?

Bai Kou looked at her sister in surprise. “Sister, you didn’t drink all those, did you?”

After Bai Kou asked, Bai Yuqiao did not answer. She held Bai Kou’s hand, and the room fell quiet.

“It was me.”

Bai Yuqiao stubbornly tried to make a sound but could only mouth the words.

Bai Kou was amused and exasperated. She helped her sister smooth her messy hair from sleeping. “Oh dear, Sister, look at your hair—”

【I’m not your sister.】 Bai Yuqiao looked at her.

“Huh?” Bai Kou understood but also didn’t. “What do you mean?”

【Your sister is dead.】

Bai Kou’s brow twitched. She turned her face away and muttered, “So you got drunk too…”

Bai Yuqiao got up, turned Bai Kou around forcefully, and wore a very serious expression: 【I’ll say it again.】

【Your sister is dead.】

【I’m not.】

【I have my own mother.】

【I’m not your sister.】

The smile on Bai Kou’s lips gradually faded. She suddenly felt that the person in front of her was not joking with her.

But she still didn’t understand what the other meant or why she was suddenly saying these things.

She looked into the other’s eyes and moved her lips to respond, but saw her take a deep breath, turn her face to the left, and pick up her phone.

Bai Kou watched her actions in complete bewilderment. Then the phone screen was shoved in front of her.

It was the same sentence repeated: 【Bai Kou, you know your sister passed away a long time ago. I’m not Bai Yuqiao.】

Bai Kou only remembered a similar situation once, during New Year’s one year, when her sister had suddenly asked her—

【Bai Kou, do you miss your sister?】

【The Bai Yuqiao who has passed away.】

So… what was she trying to say?

After reading the screen, Bai Kou looked again at the person across from her who insisted she “wasn’t her sister.” She asked softly, “Sister… what exactly are you trying to say… You’re not Bai Yuqiao… then who are you?”

“ Bai Yuqiao” actually reddened at the eyes. She lowered her head and stared at her for a long time.

Then, as if finally making up her mind, she picked up the phone and typed out a name.

【Gao Huiyan.】

Gao Huiyan? Gao… Bai Kou’s breathing suddenly hitched as she recalled the person who had spent New Year’s with them in Beijing this year, Manager Gao.

“…You found your mother.” Bai Kou calmed down and asked this first.

The person across from her was silent for two seconds, then nodded.

“Manager Gao?”

The person nodded again.

The more Bai Kou thought back, the more she wanted to laugh. “So it’s been a while?”

Nod.

“Mom knows too?”

Nod.

“What about Yang Wanxi?”

Nod.

“Auntie Yang… no…” Bai Kou fell into an extreme state of calm. “If Mom knows, Auntie Yang must know too…”

She paused, took a breath. “…So you’re telling me now because you’re going back to your family?”

“You all knew long ago, but only told me today because you were afraid it would affect my college entrance exams? You planned to wait until today together?”

“You really want to go back, so you had to wait for me to wake up and tell me today, right?”

The person across from her was silent, neither nodding nor shaking her head.

Bai Kou clenched her fists.

She lowered her head deeply, took several deep breaths in a row, then raised her hand and grasped those hands across from her.

“…Can you not go back?” She rarely had such a selfish thought. “Even though you all accept her… Manager Gao must be a good person… but Sister… don’t go back… Can you keep being my sister and stay in this home?”

The person across from her did not move for a long time, until Bai Kou desperately held back her tears and looked up into her eyes.

The other still shook her head, insisting: 【I’m not your sister.】

“Why?” A tear fell from Bai Kou’s eye. “So you decided long ago to abandon this family of ours?”

【No.】

“Then why say no? If not, why say all this?”

“Because I like—” Bai Yuqiao anxiously opened her mouth, trying to speak.

She couldn’t, and abruptly stopped.

No.

Not at this time.

She just wanted to step back a little, so Bai Kou could see her clearly, but before there was a clear “like,” she could not speak out, could not force Bai Kou.

She would not abandon the three words “Bai Yuqiao”… She…

Bai Yuqiao felt as if a basin of ice water had been dumped over her head and suddenly calmed down.

She finally realized she was too angry, too hasty. She… had only wanted Bai Kou to know…

That she was Bai Yuqiao, but more than just Bai Yuqiao.

But what had she said? What had she done?

Why had she made such a low-level mistake?

“…”

Yang Wanxi had her eyes closed and was just about to fall asleep when she heard the door from the next room go “clang”—probably because it was opened too forcefully, slamming hard against the doorstop.

Very puzzled, she got up, opened her door, and looked.

She saw Bai Kou’s back as she entered the storage room, didn’t turn on the light, rummaged around with clattering sounds, then walked back to her room expressionlessly holding something.

Bang.

The door closed.

Though it was just a glimpse, Yang Wanxi still made out that it looked like a paper crane.

She pursed her lips, closed the door, lay back down, and put on her earphones.

After closing the door, Bai Kou leaned against it and paused for a moment.

Then she looked up at the motionless figure in the room.

She walked over.

She took the other’s hand and placed the paper crane in her palm.

“Since you’ve decided.”

“This is the wish you told me I could use when I turn eighteen.”

The person across from her had trembling eyelashes, as if afraid she would demand she stay, and tried to pull her hand back.

Bai Kou forcefully held that hand tight. She loved her sister very much; she was the one who loved her sister the most in the world.

She slowly pressed the other’s five fingers to close, gripping the paper crane tightly.

“Okay, then my wish at eighteen is—”

Bai Kou looked quietly into the other’s eyes, her lips curving up in an easy smile.

“As you wish, Gao Huiyan. Please give me back my sister’s name.”

—Eighteen Years Old (Complete)—